RosieJoseph

A house is not a home….


Sealsea- (2)

Three years ago yesterday i moved out of my beautiful house, by the sea, to start this adventure. I loved this house, have always said it was the most beautiful house I would ever have the privilege  to live in. Edwardian, with so many original features….

Sealsea-1

I had put my heart and soul into it, worked so hard on it renovating and decorating and making it into our home.

We were so rushed when it came to moving day I do not even remember closing the door for the last time, but I do remember sitting in the pub that night with tears rolling down my face. When my book comes out you will understand why the house,  for Rich (and now, as time has gone by I realise  for me also),  had become contaminated; it could never be the home we thought it would be; and as three years have passed I have come to realise that.

So then we found our house on the pinnacle of the rolling hills that are Ambrieres les Vallees, and we fell in love. For me it was bittersweet, it was not the house I had left, it was not the house that had taken part of my soul. But over the three years, despite the well running dry, the crappy cesspit (literally, all over the cellar floor sometimes!!) and the mold on the walls; it has shown me this …….

I sit in my bedrom and I look out at this my favorite tree and I feel at peace

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And over the years I have realised that a home is about love, companionship, laughter, and tears; it is not the house, it is the people in it. I look at my husband, and he is happier here. I know neither of us could go back to a house where you could reach out and touch your neighbour, surrounded by people and noise. We are too used to the peacefulness that surrounds us; and I have finally come to realise that I do not miss my old home, it was ONE of the most beautiful houses I lived in; but this is the most beautiful home. It has not taken my soul it has replenished it.

A chair is still a chair, even when there’s no one sittin’ there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there’s no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight

The late great Luther Vandross..

Have a good Sunday folks.

Moisy

You may want to check out my other blog

http://makingthisbetter.com

It may surprise you, and it may give you hope.

Published by RosieJoseph

Welcome to both my blogs. Due to my memoir I have had to use change my name after blogging for four years and use my new pseudonym: Rosie Joseph. I thought I would use my parents second names because I know they would be proud of me telling our story. Despite my blog Making this better being about infidelity I am still happily married to my darling husband. The affair happening in our lives encouraged to visit France and we moved to France in 2015 after an eight year love affair with it every summer. But life in France was tough, and we learned not to be afraid to make change, so we moved to Ireland at the end of 2020. I published ‘Making This Better’ the memoir where I share the whole 21 days that RD was not with me and how that affected me, and my journal entries for the first five years after 'The war' happened in our lives. I hoped that sharing our story will help others but I know now it really did from the feedback I have received from all over the world. Six years ago I wrote how I ‘loved my life in France, but I am loving the idea of an adventure more. I have the wanderlust bug who knows where life will take me next!’ Well now I know it took me to Ireland! Always remember what is important in life. The only moment is now. If you like to laugh, cry and reflect, then join me on my adventure. Rosie

12 comments

  1. You really struck a chord with me. As I exist in my tiny cottage by the sea, I’ve become obsessed with what I want my future home to be. I’ve even reverted back to my eight year-old self, gluing photos of homes and decor I love in a notebook. (As a kid, my scrap book was filled with pictures of dogs!) Most important, my home must have room for my Boy and I’m going to come out of my shell and fill it with friends, too.

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  2. Pity we didn’t take any pictures when you were moving in, I will never forget that drive to your new home with the cat on my lap! 😂😂 love your house in France but it is you two that have made it such a warm home ❤️❤️

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  5. Hi Moisy. I have been following your comments on other blogs, so thought I would visit yours. ☺

    I too was lovingly renovating a large Victorian/Edwardian home (built in 1906). But after discovery of my OH’s affair 4 years ago, I fell completely out of love with it. In my mind it was so tainted by his infidelity, even though the OW never visited. He contacted her from there and planned his trysts and thought about her whilst there, so it had to go.

    So, last year we moved from there and its high ceilings, two reception, encaustic tiled hall, three spacious bedrooms to a tiny, one bedroom 18th century cottage in a lovely village. It has been a massive downsize, but I don’t regret it. It has been the fresh start we needed to continue our recovery and our surroundings are idyllic.

    Though I still resent the reasons why we made the move, and the pain of betrayal is ever-present, I am breathing country air again and that gives me hope. X

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    • Hi, I am so glad that you felt inspired to visit my blog, and ghat you have been able to find resonance. I have just joined your blog and will read your story, so forgive me that I do not know how long it has been since your world changed.
      I have written a book, it is currently being considered by a publisher, because I kept a journal during our journey across what I came to call the ocean of Despair. I would have given anything to have been able to read something so raw then. But I could not find anything so I wrote a journal instead. Now 11 years later my book is the journal, with my reflections now, and whatever happens I will get it out there, because when I read people’s stories I know it can help them – if they let it.
      Keep going, hold onto all the small things, little things that are said, tears, songs – my book is full of them. They will help to make a big thing and something new. For me the immediate song that comes to mind is ‘just say just say’ by Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye.

      Keep going.
      Moisy

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  7. I love what you shared. It’s definitely true that “a home is about love, companionship, laughter, and tears; it is not the house, It is the people in it.” It’s lovely to be in a beautiful house, but it can feel completely empty and cold if you’re all alone, or you feel that there’s a strain in the relationships. .

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    • Yes, so many people live such lonely lives surrounded by people, and yet those with nobody around them feel alone but not lonely. Thank you for following my blog, I hope you enjoy it. R ❤️

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