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Rosie’sFrenchAdventuresandIrish Shenanigans.com

~ Letting ‘Life’ show me the way.

Rosie’sFrenchAdventuresandIrish Shenanigans.com

Tag Archives: letting go

Saying Goodbye: Memories Are Oozing Out Of The Walls

21 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, laughter & giggles, My home, New Adventures, The continuing adventure

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echos, French Sunrises, French sunsets, letting go, memories, moving home, Moving on, tears and laughter

This photo is the last sunrise that I will capture from my garden in France. As I sit here writing this I am in my jimby jambies (pyjamas for those who have just stumbled across this blog) RD is sitting opposite me in our red chair with his eyes closed, he’s exhausted and it’s only just coming up to eight in the morning.

The packing up of our house is coming to a close now, with still so much to do. I am wide awake because I woke up with so many words in my head, hence I am sitting in my blue chair writing this post.

The blue and red chairs, where we sit each morning are old and tired, but still comfortable, like old friends. We have decided to leave them here in front of our picture window, for the new family to enjoy, if only for a few weeks and months before they start to make changes. This place where we sit has been a place of solace and comfort at times, a simple thing, and that’s what this adventure in France has been about: learning to just ‘be’ and enjoy the simplest of things. I suddenly find that tears are pricking my eyes as I write this.

Our Place Of Calm

I woke up this morning and said ‘goodbye’ to my bed, it’s an old friend that I won’t see for months, I hope our reunion will be sooner rather than later.

When I came down to the kitchen this morning there were no kittens to say ‘Good Morning Girls’ to. They went off to the cattery yesterday. There we were, all emotional that we were tearing them away from the garden and house they loved, worried for them. There they were snuggled in the heated beds in the cattery even before we got out of the door, happy to be away from the mayhem. Tilly never came back, when she came to visit it was her goodbye to us, telling us she loves us, but she has chosen to live in France with whoever is caring for her now. We understand that, and will always love her so.

I find that there comes a point, when you are moving home, where the memories of the times you had there seem to seep out of the walls. You can almost here them, the voices, the laughter, the tears. I am an empath, and so I can, at times, literally feel and hear them. When I went into the kitchen today to make our first cup of tea I stood at the end of the room, where our five cats would be first thing, mewling for their breakfast. I wrote about the cacophony of cats that would greet me each morning back in 2018, not realising that it would change days later when Tilly left home. Today I stood in my quiet kitchen with my eyes closed and I could hear them all, and see them all, the memory brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Sophie died in 2019, and Molly died last New Years Day. Memories.

As we pack the house the rooms have begun to echo, and just this last week I have thought of Livermore, and Dylan and our summer of fun, heard the laughter and the splashing of the pool.

I have thought of Nic and the girls, and giggled at all the things we laughed at, mainly RD!

It’s only natural at this time of year that Christmas’s come to mind, not least when Tom has come to visit, especially last year, when he surprised us and I looked out in the garden to see him standing there, not knowing he was coming.

The memories are also there of when we have sat with our last five euros, not knowing if we can feed our animals, let alone us. Of cutting up the trees in our garden to provide us with some heat. I distinctly remember the January in 2019 when we started to question whether we were holding to our dream too tight. And that has been our biggest lesson, to believe that what you need will come and it will; and it always has. We have faith now, in ‘life’ leading the way. So much that we also know when it’s time to listen and make change.

As I write this I realise that there are no memories of anger, or harsh words, In this house and think that just about sums us up.

No matter how much we love things they change, no matter how tight we hold on, and there is another lesson: ‘Let Go’. We have learned that well, it’s given us the courage to make this move now.

We move to a gite this evening, today is going to be a busy but poignant day.

The sun is setting on our adventure in France.

Rosie

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Diary Of A Move: The Boat’s Booked

01 Tuesday Dec 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, For the live of dogs, Friends, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, Saying Goodbye, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adventures, cats, Change, Dogs, French Sunrises, French sunsets, Friends, Goodbyes, letting go, LIfe, life shows the way, Love of dogs, memories, Moving on, new adventures, Poignant, Sunrises, understanding, Welsh Terriers, Welshies

November Sunrise over the French Vallees

Yesterday I booked our boat to Ireland. It’s no mean feat when your booking two Welsh terriers into heated dog lodges, arranging for two cats to remain safely and warmly in the van, and booking a cabin for yourselves for the eighteen and a half hour crossing!

It was weird because I felt very excited about going to Ireland, as did RD . But last night as we sat in our dismantled living room we both agreed that whilst excited we still felt a little sad. It’s part of the process folks, I have learned that now: part of the process of letting things go is to allow yourselves to feel the poignancy as one chapter of your life closes and another opens. We don’t always have to put our chins up and pretend that we’re not sad, or ignore our feelings and just look to the future (which we are incredibly excited about). I believe that we should allow that feeling of poignancy wash over us, and then keep going. Too many people try and have a ‘stiff upper lip’, when, really, they don’t need to. It’s just what it is.

Yesterday one of my best friends (thirty three years and counting) put a beautiful comment on my last post asking me to hug our house for her, because it had healed her at a time she needed it, just as it has healed us enough to go back into the ‘throng’. I have evolved from living here, so much so that I am ready to go back out there, albeit a different Rosie sometimes.

Making Our Home December 2015

Last night we took down my big decorative mirror that was one of the first things we hung above the fireplace. As RD carried it out he stopped and we both just looked at each other, remembering when we hung it in December 2015.

Moving on December 2020

As always life has shown me the way, you know how it does: like little pieces of jigsaw being placed like a path showing you where to go. (I have really learned to listen now.) We are juggling money, with each week mapped out as to what I have to pay. But when I spoke to the lovely lady at the cattery she doesn’t want the deposit until we arrive with the cats; and when I tried to pay for our accommodation in Ireland the money doesn’t come out until the 28th, freeing up enough money this week to book our boat. Moving from country to country is a complicated and expensive business. We were going to sail to Ireland on the 3rd of January 2021, but I couldn’t get the dogs booked into their dog lodges for that date, however I could get everything I needed for the 30th. Life clearly thought we should be starting the new year in a new country. So we will be as I write this we have twenty nine days left in France…….

Rosie

November Sunset From My French Home

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I Got To Thinking: Is Learning To Let Go What Life’s All About?

22 Sunday Nov 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Change is a coming, Goodbyes, mental health, New Paths, Reflections, The continuing adventure

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

letting go, life shows the way, life’s lessons, spirit, understanding

I am currently sitting in bed, it’s 11.45 in the morning and we have allowed ourselves a morning lie in. It’s a busy time.

We have a very atmospheric sky today, and the pictures above are what I can see from my vantage point as I write this.

I am surrounded by sleeping Welshies and RD snoring away, and after our scare last weekend I have again been reminded to only ever live in the here and now.

This will be our second move in six years. In fact in our twenty- two, almost twenty- three years of being together we have moved four times, this will be our fifth move.

Over the week as well as frantically taking as many photos of the fabulous sunsets we are blessed with, I have been packing up our belongings and I was making decisions about what to keep and what to let go. As part of this I was boxing up the shoes that we had, supposedly, decided we were taking with us, after letting so many pairs go; and as I did so I found myself putting additional pairs in the clothing bag for charity. In fact it was as if I was having an epiphany: you HAVE to let go of the old to make room for the new.

The shoes weren’t the only things that led to this. I have my son’s cot in the barn, he is thirty-one years old, why the hell did I ship it to France? I know why, we were moving to another country and for the first time I would not have my son near to me, that first Christmas without him being there was a hard lesson. But now it’s what it is, he has his life, and I want him to live it, and I have learned to let go of the idea that we always have to be together.

Then there is a blue top that belonged to my mum, it was her favourite top, she wore it often. After she died I kept it, and dutifully moved it three times. I thought when we came here I had let it go, but no, when I sorted our cupboard at the top of the stairs there it was again, buried in amongst all the clothes we have never worn in five years. I let it go this time, with all the other clothes. Only this time was different: this time I held it up and said to RD ‘This is not my mum, this is a top. My mum is in my memories.’

After that I was then on a roll: the fridge magnets we bought in Disney twenty- seven years ago (when I was married to my first husband ffs!) off they went to the great dechetterie (dump in French) in the sky. Sentimental mugs, faux flowers, old earrings, and watches and bracelets, tarnished, were in the bin before they knew it.

All of this got me thinking is life really just one big on-going lesson about learning to let go? Is life really just a lesson in learning about why we hold on to things which then enables us to let them go?

I understand why I bought so many things from our old house with me. I loved that house, I found it hard leave it, and so I bought the things I could from it, because it was too hard to let it all go at once. But as the years passed here I realised I didn’t want to re-create my past, that I need to make something new. My old house had gone, and I was then ready to let the things associated with it go too. There are some things I love that I will take with me because I love the item itself, or the memory it conjures up.

As I packed away my thoughts developed further and I found myself asking does that apply to everything in life? Including the loved ones we have lost? Someone once said to me ‘every time you cry about your mum, you pull her back, and you never let her spirit free.’ I found it difficult to understand at first, but after reading and learning and listening and reflecting it becomes clearer every day.

When my mum was dying she promised she would come back for each and every one of us, so when my beloved Westie dog died I thought I would feel my mum’s presence, and my heartbreak was even more compounded when I didn’t.

I understand now that it was never going to be, because we are all spirits learning what we need to learn in each lifetime, and we then move on to the next stage of our enlightenment. Perhaps those who love us stay near for a time, but eventually they have to let us go, to enable us to grow.

Then there are the friendships that come and go, and sometimes come back again after we have all learned and evolved. I believe the right people migrate back to you, as I have written about often. But more importantly how often does life show us that we need to let the relationships go? Show us, as we evolve, that they weren’t what we thought they were at all? That the people were not what we thought? Or, thinking even more deeply, perhaps they were, and it is us who have changed.

I think that is one of the hardest lessons of all, we don’t want to see negatives in those we have spent so much of our life with. But if we are able to objectively, it can enable us to decide whether to still have the person in our life or not, without rancour or pain. It’s just what it is.

Letting go of pain, letting go of hurt, just letting go without bitterness, is probably one of the hardest things to do. When RD left me I learned from writing my journal that if I allowed myself to be consumed in bitterness I would be destroyed. That was nearly fourteen years ago, now I use what I learned to help some others who find themselves where I was, but now I also know it applies to so many things in life. But I can only help ‘some’ because the others do not want to ‘let go.’ And so they continue to suffer in pain. That experience has taught me to let go of the hope that I could help everyone. I can’t, people can only ever help themselves.

I have learned over the past five years that we cannot have the sunny side of life all the time. The Tao has taught me that where there is good there is bad, where there is love there is heartache, where there is life there is death. I had to remind myself of that last week when Harley was ill, I had to say it as a mantra, and despite the pain I felt, it gave me comfort and strength and it has made me live every day this week cherishing every small moment.

It’s amazing isn’t it, what you learn as you unpack and pack your life up again? And the time will come, in the near future, when we let this house go, and this adventure go, and we ‘let go,of the rice.’ (Mark Nepo, The Book Of Awakening

Have a good Sunday folks.

Rosie

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Clearing Out The Old…

19 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, new adventures, New Paths, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure

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Belief, clutter, Decluttering, Faith, French barns, French Sunrises, letting go, letting go of the old, making decisions, Mark Nepo, Selling houses in France

The start of a new day in France. As always I am inspired by the sunrises over the vallees, and cherishing every one. I will share as many as I can with you before we go..

I should be on the boat now returning to my job, but as always life showed me the way and a mutual decision was reached that I will not return, but that monies owed will be paid. I cannot tell you the relief I feel, and although we will lose some money I will trust my belief that what we need will come. I have followed Mark Nepo’s advice and I have ‘Let go of the rice.’

Last night RD and I realised It is probably for the best because we only have eight weeks left in this house, if not less. Despite being busy these last two weeks clearing out the barn, taking all the things we humans tend to harbour for years but will never use to the dechetterie (rubbish dump).

There is still a lot of clearing out to do. One half of our barn has been completed, just the other half to start today!

I have also been busy selling things we don’t need, we have learned the lesson well in: don’t move stuff to another country just ‘in case’. It costs way too much and we are resolute that what we need must all fit into a Luton van.

We are moving ourselves this time, otherwise it will mean that we will have spent up 12,000€ on moving! Too much!

I have also arranged accommodations in Ireland, with flexible dates until they are confirmed, and checked out accommodation here for the (hopefully) only ten days we will need to remain here. I am ready to go now.

In France when you sell your house on the day you sign on the dotted line you hand the keys to the new owner. There is no going back to finalise, that is it, you have to be out and the house has to be empty on the day. So we will need to book into accommodation before the final day. It will be a poignant time when we close the door.

In addition to the barn I have cleared out our armoire of the things that were put in it five years ago, added to and never used. Why do we do it? Have drawers full of crap?

Trust me these are the empty drawers, they were full to overflowing before. Now some drawers are empty with only a few things we are taking with us put back. We asked ourselves yesterday why it takes a move to clear our lives of clutter. A new lesson I will try and remember: have a yearly clear out LET GO.

The plan is that once the dates have been confirmed everything that is in our cupboards is coming with us and simply needs to be wrapped and packed. (I say simply😁)

I have applied the same principle to our fabulous French buffet, lovingly painted by me and now a storage facility for all the things that need to be packed. I just can’t wait for the date now.

So the animals are looking at us questionably, they know that things are abreast.

Rosie

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Making Decisions: Messages From Life

17 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Change is a coming, new adventures, New Paths, The continuing adventure

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

beers, believe, Change, Changes, coincidence, Cosmic ordering, Faith, letting go, LIfe, life shows the way, messages, Moving on, new adventures, Small things

It’s been coming for some time, life has been screaming at me for some time, but I got caught up on the hamster wheel of money.

I placed a cosmic order in August, explained how I do have faith, and that what you need will come, but explained how I was afraid; and I asked that I was shown what we needed would come. I was shown, but I didn’t stick to my part of the bargain and I went back. Life tapped me on the back, to remind me of our side of the bargain I felt guilty for reneging. It has shown me over and over again since I came back that we will get what we need. Why did I not believe? So yesterday I did, and changes were made.

Last night RD took a beer out from a Euros pack (special offer, because the Euros didn’t take place) and the first beer, second beer and third beer were for this country.

Do you think life is trying to tell us something? I think so….

Rosie

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New Horizons

13 Tuesday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, My home, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, sunrises and sunsets, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

autumn mornings, Changes, enjoying the moment, French Sunrises, letting go, sunrise over the valley, Sunrises

I woke this crisp autumn morning to this beautiful sunrise.

I have always shared the sunrises with you all throughout the years, I am now cherishing every one whilst I am here. Over the years the sunrises have inspired me on even my bleakest of moods, the sun rising over the vallees always reminded me that no matter what, a new day will come, and we just have to go with the flow.

It’s all systems go now for our move. We should know for sure if all is going ahead by the beginning of November. It’s a busy time.

Our little hamlet feels different now, almost subdued since the changes last week. RD and I feel as if life is saying to us ‘Time to go.’

Since our decision to leave we have always said that we are sorry to be leaving our little community, but what has happened is again a reminder that nothing stays the same; that you cannot stay somewhere because of people, because people change, their lives change, they move on. It’s like a ripple, constantly moving, there is no staying still.

Since making our decisions I have often said I would keep this house if I could afford to, as well as living in Ireland. RD asked me over the weekend would I stay now? The answer was ‘No’, it’s time to let go. There are new horizons to see.

But just for a moment I stopped and cherished the moment, on a crisp autumn morning.

Rosie

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Getting Ready: Clearing Out The Old.

10 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My home, new adventures, New Paths, The continuing adventure

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hoarding, learning our lessons, letting go, making way for the new, why?

Why do we do it? Why do we hold onto things when we don’t really need them? Nearly six years ago RD and I cleared out our old Edwardian home.

With a huge loft it took forever to box it up and we had so much crap in our loft and in the house that we swore we would never do it again. But two years ago we finally went through our boxes we had brought over to France and found we hadn’t been as good and mercenary as we thought, because we had actually paid to bring crap over to France with us!

No surprises then that we are now faced with the task of clearing out the crap again, although this time we have learnt our lessons and we are being mercenary.

The cupboard in the picture above was what we called the ‘crap’ cupboard. It sat at the top of the stairs and we squeezed so much stuff in it we could hardly close the door. The last time I was home I made it my mission for it to be the first cupboard to be cleared. It would then enable me to store the summer clothes and bedding that we are already packing away.

Out came our old bikers jackets (RD is an avid biker) our boots, all bent up and mine a size that no longer fits me! There were old curtains that I could ‘make use of sometime’. My dress from my 21st birthday, thirty six years ago ffs!

There were clothes we had moved over from England that had been putbin the cupboard ‘ready for ironing’ that have never been on our backs since! RD’s old Ted Baker shirt way back when he was a forty chest. We have discussed how even then those shirts were £65, we wouldn’t pay that now so wonder what the hell we were doing paying it then. We have learnt our lessons.

Then there were the coats: a funky little leopard print coat, and fluffy coat neither of which I would be seen dead in. Why the hell I moved them to France I do not know. But you see I do…I moved those things because I was afraid to let go of my old life, it was all so overwhelming that we both held on to some things to give us comfort. But they didn’t and we didn’t need them, and there again are lessons learned.

We are letting so much go, we have learned that you do have to let go of the old, to bring in the new, and that all things will change anyway. That has been the biggest gift for me: learning my lessons.

In Feng Shui they believe we should let go to enable new things to come into our lives, we know that now.

So this is what the cupboard looks like now, and this is with stuff we have already packed up.

I am home for just over another week, and tackling the crap in my buffet and armoire, I am opening up so many new opportunities by doing so.

It’s been busy, what with me going to work in Jersey, and the move still going ahead. RD has been on his own again for three weeks, it’s too long, especially when considering that I am not being paid for a week of isolation. Decisions have been made. We’re letting go of the rice.

Rosie

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Poignant: The Beginning of the End

29 Wednesday Jul 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My home, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Endings and beggings, For Sale, French summers, gurgling pools, letting go, new adventures, summer evenings, Sunny Evenings, Warm French evenings, Weslh Terriers

The For Sale Board is on the gate, marking the beginning of the end for this adventure.

As I sit here in my garden writing this post, the pool is bubbling away, and it’s currently just over thirty degrees at 7pm in the evening, RD is just doing a little shopping and the Harley Pup is patiently waiting to be splashed.

The bees are buzzing around. butterflies are fluttering by, our garden looks lovely, all ready for the pictures that have been taken to sell this house and take us away from here.

Five years ago I dreamt of what I am doing right now, writing a blog in the sunshine, with a light summer breeze, listening to the pigeons, surrounded by tranquility . This place has healed me.

It seems strange that the For Sale sign is now in place.

We have deliberated long and hard, we know it is the right decision, but on an evening like this evening, it feels a little poignant.

Cherishing the moment.

Rosie

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What Have We Learned: You can only ever make decisions based on the Here and Now .

20 Monday Jul 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, mental health, new adventures, New Paths, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The background story, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

adventures, and the future, Change, evolving, lessons, letting go, LIfe, looking back, mental health, Reflections, reminiscing, Stress, the here and now, the past, the present, understanding

Larchamp 2013

Seven years ago I took this photograph of the pretty sundial we used as a table at a beautiful gite we were vacating in. I still love this picture today, one of tranquillity and stillness.

At the time I took it I was just about to move from an incredibly stressful job to what I didn’t know at the time would be the job from hell. I didn’t realise just how stressed I actually was at that time, so when I then became ill with stress the following year, to us the obvious place to live in France was the region where this picture had been taken. We made our decisions based on how we felt at that time.

Now, after living in this place for five years the people who ran the gite have moved back to England, in fact many people who we have met along the way have moved back to England.

Over the years we have come to realise that is part of an adventure like this: change, not for ‘change sake’, but because we evolve, and part of evolving means that we move forward to pastures new. At the time we make our decisions they are the right ones at that moment in time, based on how we feel at that moment in time. Just as we did after our fabulous holidays in this region.

When RD and I moved here we were both burnt out, literally. My brain had been addled dealing with high levels of human emotion every day. I needed peace, I needed to step out, I needed tranquility and this place offered us all that; and it healed me. But moving on I am better, despite only realising and accepting recently that I will never go back to the person I once was; and as I write that I wonder why I thought I would, because you can never go back, you can only ever go forward.

So now we are healed we have also learned that we are not ready to retire, and we are not ready to slow down quite this much. Going back to work, and interacting with some of the fabulous people I have met has also shown me that. RD has realised that he misses the interaction with other colleagues, he misses working as part of a team. We miss nightlife, and having the opportunity to interact fully in our community.

Language is a barrier, never believe that it isn’t. Language dictates, to a certain degree, the people who you have to interact with, as opposed to those you want to. I cannot emphasise enough the huge impact not knowing a language will have when you undertake an adventure like this. There is an upside also though: you can (I won’t say will because some never try) learn the fabulous art of improvisation, and the other fabulous art of mime! And the best people we have met during this time have been French people.

So seven years ago, when the picture in this post was taken I was a very different person (not least that I can speak a little French now). I was fighting against my feelings of fear and entrapment. Going on this journey has stopped all of that, I have learned who I was, and who I am, and I know there is a ‘who I am going to be’ somewhere in the future.

More to come.

Rosie

My home in the evening sun

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Taking every day

09 Sunday Feb 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My family and other furry creatures, My home, Simple things, The continuing adventure

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

adventures, being grateful, believe, Blessings, cats, Change, Changes, Contentment, counting your blessings, Happiness, letting go, LIfe, Love, Moving on, new adventures, Poignant, Reflections, Rural France, Simple things, Small things, The seasons, understanding, Winter

We are going to move, our mind has been made up. But more of that in a other post. Because of that we are savouring our moments in our house.

Today France has been lashed by storm Ciara, and the winds are getting stronger, with the rain sleeting down. We have embraced the French culture of doing nothing on a Sunday. Last week we sat in our wingback chairs in our picture window reading blogs and Mark Nepo, so RD, after a week of hard work, asked could we do the same.

So here we are with the cats (this one is Diddies) watching the storm go by, and cherishing our time here.

Taking each and every day.

Rosie

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  • New Paths
  • People
  • poignancy
  • Recipes
  • Reflections
  • renovations
  • Saying Goodbye
  • serendipity
  • Simple things
  • sunrises and sunsets
  • The adventures of living life in the French countryside
  • The background story
  • The continuing adventure
  • The good life
  • The good, the bad and the ugly.
  • The seasons
  • Us

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