Tag Archives: letting go

For Auld Lang Syne

31 Tuesday Dec 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, For the live of dogs, Friends, Learning and Evolving, Making our own way, My family and other furry creatures, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Image result for auld lang syne images"

This is a song that has always made me tear up when I sing it, but I had no idea what the words meant!

Auld Lang Syne literally translated means old long since, or days gone by. Being an empath the poignancy is not lost on me: the days that have gone, those that we have loved and lost, bringing in the New Year remembering them, but looking to the future.

I sat in my sunny garden yesterday, in the crisp cold air, and wrote my journal for the first time in a long time, and in it I wrote…

‘Dylan, and Oscar, and Sophie died this year. Sometimes our garden seems full of memories, of the ghosts of all the animals who were running around in it. Let us not forget  Tilly Kitten   who was also here then.

Then there were the chickens, the last girly died this year and Claudy the Cockerel was found a new home and a new girlfriend. Our garden became very quiet when they left, no more clucking, no more barking from Wiglet.

9BD163A6-82B1-4919-9662-8AD947A08A64

But life reminds us constantly that change is the only constant, and all we can do is evolve with it; carry our sadness for those who loved us, and who we loved but now we can no longer see or talk to. I have a strong feeling that there is a contingent here of animals passed, all waiting for Molly, whose time is imminent. She sits on my lap now, whenever possible, and I treasure every moment. Here she is, on my lap, early this morning.
0D0CF192-99B8-4B23-A850-95696238A182

For me the ending of the year and the ringing in of the New is a time for reflection, I don’t anticipate, as I know that life is doing the driving. I don’t look to the New Year believing it will bring me untold joy, happiness and wealth; I just know that it will bring me what I need (even if I don’t realise it at the time).

Last year we started the New Year not knowing if this was still the life for us. We believed that life would show us the way     and it did: we went forward with our own business and used all we had learnt in our careers, and it has been the best year yet, where work has been concerned.  We are still broke but we are the ones in charge of our lives p, and for the first time ever since living here we go into the New Year with some work. Where emotions are concerned we have learnt a lot this year, mainly remembered the people that we really are, we had lost them somewhere along the way, their back now.

I wrote how I finally came back to being me; and as a result my other blog has reached over 110,000 views in just over a year. This blog has more followers and views than ever before and I got my book published. The response from people all over the world has been so encouraging and I haven’t really started to fully promote it yet. So all good. I have met some wonderful people via cyber-space, who have truly inspired me at times.

But we don’t hold on too tight any more. That is the lesson we learnt this year: don’t hold on to something so tight you stop other things coming to you, or you stay stuck. A lesson from the Tao but also a fantastic lesson in Mark Nepo’s book of awakening:

To catch monkeys holes would be cut in coconuts just big enough for a monkey to get his hand through, then the coconut would be filled with rice to entice the monkey. The hungry monkey would come along and put his hand in the coconut, but of course once his hand was made into a fist to hold the rice he could not get it back out of the coconut. The monkey would be so caught up in the food in the coconut he would not let go of the rice, and forget that other food would come along; and the monkey’s who would not let go, were the monkey’s who were caught. All this year RD and I have used the analogy to ‘not hold on too tight’ and today we read this particular chapter for the first time, and smiled.  It’s been our lesson and life has confirmed that to us as the year closes.

It has been a productive year, it has been a happy year, and it has been a sad year because of the beautiful animals who have left us. So at the end of the year I want to pay homage to those who left my life (and the lives of others, leaving them bereft).

In January I wrote how a friend had helped me make my decisiton to stay and try for longer. He was someone I had known for over fourty years. We were not constantly in touch, had lost touch at times, but he was always a kind man, who truly cared. When he died suddenly in March after a short illness I was shocked, and his words rang in my ears: about how lucky I was to live here in the peace and quiet, about how anywhere has it downsides. Of course it does, he was right, and I think about him often, I will be raising my glass tonight to Rod Claricoats, I have no doubt he will be toasting the New Year with my mum.

 

 

Sophie Loafy. Sophie died suddenly in July we took her in for four years she had a difficult life but for the last years of her life  she was loved, more than ever before. RD still misses her riding on his shoulder as works in the garden.

 

 

Osky Bosky as I loved to call him. His name was Oscar and he was a loved and faithful companion to a very dear friend of ours. A big cuddly apricot  toy poodle, who was always allowed his coat as nature intended. Oscar was diagnosed with cancer at a time that his dad was told a dear friend was also dying. I believe that dog held on to give his loved owner time to grieve before he had to leave him also. Whenever they visited or met us for walks (Oscar got on well with all the Welshies) he would be so genuinely pleased to see you. Smiling with his apricot lips, and looking so cute with that apricot nose. It always seems strange when his dad visits now, and Oscar is not with him. I picture him bounding round the garden with Dilly Dyls, smiling, as he always did. A truly beautiful boy.

Dyly Dyls, the little Welshie who was taken too soon. She blew in like a whilrwind, a little tornado running like the wind in our garden with her ears flapping. She went on a new adventure but sadly died soon after. Even now I cannot believe she has gone, and it still brings tears to my eyes. She was so loved, and has left a gaping hole in her mum’s heart.

And Molly? She is still here but it really is her last days, and we carry her and give her cat soup, and just cuddle her. I will cry, but I know it is time.

So add to that my mum and dad, and there is a wonderful New Years party going on up there, with all the animals we have loved and lost ruuning around young and free.

We have learnt that there has to be a balance, in everything, Good and bad, life and death, our love for animals reminds of that.

A mellow New Year, not Happy because there will be sadness as well as happiness. I believe that a mellow New Year filled with kindness, even if it is only you remembering to be kind, will be the best New Year. Just remember don’t hold on too tight.

Rosie

Image result for pictures for the new year in french"

Cherishing every moment

22 Friday Nov 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My family and other furry creatures, My home, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

These are two of our cats (we only have three left now!) Molly, the cat ‘doing the washing’, and Daisy, the cat being washed. I took this photo yesterday as I sat at our window in our wingback chairs blogging.

I am cherishing the moment. You see Molly is nearly twenty years old, and we know that the time is coming that she will leave us. In the past two weeks alone I have shed tears for her. As her condition deteriorates I have thought I would wake up and she would be gone. But every morning when we come downstairs she has rallied, and gives a loud miaow.

On Saturday she took a turn for the worse, and wouldn’t eat. We always said that when she wouldn’t eat it was time, all day she just lay in front of the fire. So we topped it up with logs before we went to bed, just to make sure she was warm.

RD got up on Sunday morning (our ‘have our tea in bed day’) because he didn’t want me to find her; but when he came down she was up, perky, and shouting; she ate a bowl of food and had two plates of milk and cream! (She can have what she wants now, in her limited time).

But I know, after holding her close on Tuesday when she deteriorated again that our days left together are few.

Twenty years is a long time.

Rosie

This poignant time

03 Sunday Nov 2019

Posted by in For the live of dogs, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly., The seasons

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I love Autumn, for its colours, for what it symbolises: letting go; and because it never fails to remind me that everything must change. That yearly reminder that things must die to make room for the new. It has that constant air of poignancy for what was, for the time that has past and for the things we have lost.

But this year it has been particularly poignant. We both adore our dogs, we believe that dogs teach you about unconditional love, and we are both members of some social media sites that celebrate the Welshie breed, with their smiling faces, and love of cuddles, and wickedly stubborn temperament.

I recently wrote about the tragic death of Dylan the Welshie puppy who was counted as part of our family, but since her death two other young pups have died in tragic circumstances, one was drowned by a goose, and the other, just fourteen months old, was hit by a car. As I write this now my eyes brim with tears for the loss, and for the pain that all those left behind feel. So this year when I look out on the grey rainy days that we have here, and the leaves and walnuts falling from the trees, I am reminded, yet again, that where there is life there is death; there can be no life without it.

“the longest-lived and those who die soonest lose the same thing. The present. The present is all that they can give up since that is all you have and what you do not have, you cannot lose.”

Marcus Aurelius

Treasure every moment, treasure every sunbeam, every raindrop, every rainy day. Hold those close to you tight.

Rosie

Autumn leaves written by Songwriters: Giorgio Canali / Francesco Magnelli / Gianni Maroccolo / Massimo Zamboni / Giovanni Lindo Ferretti

Taking things in your stride, a sense of community, and merde!

21 Monday Oct 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One of the things I love about living here are the lessons we have been taught with regard to the way we look at life, and the strong sense of community that French people have in rural France. This last week and especially today have been no exception.

A week ago I noticed a problem with our toilet, it was not flushing and I could hear water running in the cellar. Further investigation showed that we had a problem, and when he got home from work, R/D (he has two names so this is what I am going to call him now! ) concluded that we had a blockage.

We knew that our cesspit was due to be emptied and hoped it would wait until the end of the month because after being let down with a job we were unable to get the ball moving (or the crap on it’s way) until funds were available at the end of the week.

So all week we have been weeing in the garden (in the pouring down of rain) with the dogs looking at me as if I had grown another head! Visits to the public toilets were clearly de rigour for anything else. I even made up a poo bag of rubber gloves, wet wipes, and toilet roll! In fact yesterday as R/D and I went for our afternoon poo, and sat in adjacent stalls (unisex toilets here in France!) I found myself laughing as I called out to R/D ‘living the dream!’

That is the thing for us: we have learned so much. If you had told me years ago that I could live without a roof, water, and now a loo, I would have thought you were mad. But we have lived without all those things, and yet here we are still here. We have not died, we have not suffered, but here in our community we are not judged. And I believe that is the key.

Last week I looked at R/D one evening and said ‘I am not worrying about the loo, because I know it will be resolved in the end.’ We have learned patience, and to not stress about something if you cannot change it. That eventually what you need will come, when the time is right and not when you make it.

We did try to resolve the blockage over the week, hoping that we could hold on to the end of the month to have the cess emptied: we have used shampoo, washing up liquid, drain un-blocker, stronger drain un-blocker, a spiral spring, and a super duper Luigi plunger, but nothing was shifting it!

Once we had money in our pockets I visited our friend and neighbour Mark, for assistance, and literally at 10am this morning the tractor arrived! But after emptying the cess nothing happened, and the loo was still blocked, and despite working on the chambers for over an hour they eventually called the fabulous Pascal, (who I think can do mostly anything) who arrived toute suite. He could speak a little English, I can speak a little French. He looked at our antiquated cess, and asked me about the pipes and lo: they were off! Trying to solve the problem. All these people just trying to help us. It has not been a simple job, they are still here now, over four hours later, covered in crap, literally!

We now have a completely new cess pipe, because the other one was just full of a compacted wall of merde. We found that out when poor Pascale cut into the pipe and it poured out over his head! Marc and R/D laughed!

Here they all are with the lorry in tow, because it appears our cess has a pipe that leads out to the ditch. It is an air pipe, it creates the suction that makes the cess work, and it was blocked by years of mud, and our pine tree, and was in fact a major contributing factor to our problem.

It has to be cleared, and they are still all here, and the tractor is on it’s way…..

This is what I love about France, these people are helping us, using their time, with no questions. England, and even the majority if the English community, is not like that over here; and since starting this adventure there have been times when I am ashamed if my countrymen.

Marc and Nadia, Michelle and Martigne, all the wonderful French people we have met have been nothing but wonderful to us. But we have been reserved at times, have been afraid to approach them and we must have come off as bloody stand offish at times! Our lesson from all of this has been to stop being afraid of not speaking the language and integrate, that is the only way to do it.

Our lesson has been to join the community, so watch this space we will be.

More to come this week.

Rosie

Understanding yourself: Me

04 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by in Dream, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have shared on this blog that the year before we came out here I stood on the precipice of having a full breakdown, and I did have a mini one. I have written about how I can be driven, which in some ways is a good thing and essential, (more of that in another post) and yes, being that type of person is a blessing. But it can also be a curse, when insecurity creeps in through the crack in the open door.

Without my strong personality my book would not be out there, and my Blog would not have been so successful, but more than that so many people would not have found something to give them hope in their hour of need.

But despite that I also remember my counsellors words well when she told me I was a ‘doer’, and that if I didn’t learn to utilise, but control, that part of my personality it could actually destroy me.

Living here has been hard in that I now have arthritis and work is limited for me; because I cannot do the things I used to do; and you see for someone like me to not be able to have something to focus on means that I feel as if I have lost myself. I have always needed something to define me: in the UK it was my career, which virtually destroyed me, but coming here and trying to find something else proved difficult.

But last year life shook me up and showed me the way: I started the Other blog and it took off. I always knew that sharing our story would help others, and now I know it has. As I have written in previous posts it jolted me back to being me, it gave me impetus, and all the things I have worked on: H’s website for the business, the Facebook page, and the business itself, which is doing better than it ever has, was as a result of me finding my impetus again; or as I have said: being driven. The blog reached 96,000 views in a year and I was in control of what I was doing: which is something I love.

But once the book was published the control was taken away from me to a degree. Yes I could promote it, increase my media presence, but I would never actually know any stats for how well the book was doing until the royalty cheque fell on the mat; and that for me was a problem. It was what was keeping me awake at the beginning of the week; I had to relinquish some of the control, and I had to trust the fact that someone else was now doing the driving. I knew it, I knew it was going to be the case but my brain remained active and kept me awake because I couldn’t control it.

I still keep a journal, as I have written on the other blog my journal was at one point the book that saved my life, but I don’t write in it often now, the two blogs tend to work for me. But as I have said they are still not the same as keeping a journal, which is a place where you don’t worry about your audience, because your audience is you, and so you have to be honest.

After my last post I knew that I had to write my journal, that was the key to sleeping. So I did: I had a frank conversation with myself: that the blog had and still is, doing so well why would the book fail? I reminded myself of all the comments I have received from all over the world:

‘Thanks for your amazing insight it helps me to understand how to stay strong through all of this.’

‘This! I need to read this today!’

‘When I am having a hard day sometimes I go back to Rosie’s blog, and it helps me get my demon under control.’

I told myself that I need to have a little more belief in myself, and I was honest with myself that at times I doubt myself and I questioned why. I wrote about the power of belief, but despite that when things are out of our control our belief begins to falter, and the strength is in pulling ourselves back up, and holding on.

On Wednesday night I slept soundly. I have always wanted to be able to meditate, but have struggled. So when I recently read a post from the Fabulous Biscuit factory blog I realised that writing my journal is a form of meditation for me. I put my pen to paper and I just write, and then I read what I have written and my mind is clear.

So in knowing that life shows us the way yesterday I found my book for sale in Waterstones, and stocked in Gardners. I knew that meant that the book was doing well, and it helped me a great deal, I also knew that life was telling me to hold on to my belief which was confirmed when we met a new client with the business last night: they work in the book world and when I said that the book is stocked in Gardners they advised that before that could have happened Gardners would have done their homework: they only stock books that they think will sell!

So I will do all the hard work I need to and support and promote my book, (of course I will) but I will give myself a timeframe every day, and some days I will step back from it. After all someone else is doing the driving! I know that!

Rosie

Understanding yourself

02 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, My home, Recipes, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

 

‘The great and fierce mystic Willliam Blake said : “There is no greater act than putting another before you.”

This speaks to a selfless giving that seems to be at the base of meaningful love. Yet having struggled for a lifetime with letting the needs of others define me, I’ve come to understand that without the healthiest form of self-love – without honouring the essence of life this thing called ‘self’ carries , the way a pod carries a seed – putting another before you can result in damaging self-sacrifice and endless co-dependence. ‘

From the Book of Awakening Mark Nepo

I always say on my other blog how I believe that it is essential for people to find themselves and not let others define them. I need to listen to my own words. I am going to do my best to post on this blog at least every other day to share my journey over the past few weeks with you; including the messages that life has sent me along the way.

But to start with I am going out in the garden today. I am not posting my other blog to various Facebook sites, or promoting it at all. I am taking a ‘time out’ from Social Media today and over the next few days I will explain why.

But for now I will say that I have not slept well over the past few nights, with no particular thing on my mind. The book is selling, wonderful people are contacting me to say they have it; H has work, best it’s been for a long time; but I know it is my mind that is keeping me awake! And I know why.

So without further ado this is currently what our chemin looks like:

 

Seriously if we don’t work on it we will not be able to walk up it! So on this damp and cloudy autumn afternoon I am going out in the garden with H (he has a week off before more work) to help him; because he cannot do any particular heavy lifting and because I need to get out in the fresh air and away from my book. I need to practice what I preach for a day: and let life show me the way!!

More to come

Rosie

 

Catching up

02 Friday Aug 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Where do I start? The book is at the publishers after another edit, the blog is just about to hit 75,000 views, and hubby is doing such wonderful work in his business.

Here is his current project: barn doors he has been working on, they had to be prepped and the metalwork needed detailed paintwork; I am so proud of him because I know what he is capable of. To see the project from the beginning you can visit our website it is under the section ‘a renovation story.’ The client is so pleased she has asked him to extend his time with her.

It is a joy to see him enjoying his work (we had some awful people recently) and being appreciated for the dedication that he puts into it.

The business also keeps me busy updating the website, and Facebook page and promoting it. Sadly it is a fact of life that we have learnt to accept that you will always get someone with a snide remark, but it does not deter me now; like I said I am back, and I simply answer them. People don’t understand that in the world today social media is here and now, there is no going back, just going forward. Pretty much like life really!

So going forward we are now in the process of changing our house. When we first moved here we bought with us such beautiful things from our old home. But I have come to realise that I was trying to make this house into our old house; when in fact we should make it something new. As a result we have moved the furniture in our living room so that the sofa’s are against one wall, making a ‘snug’ area in which to watch the TV. If you look at the first photo the top picture is before and the second one after.

The top photo is before, the bottom after

We have blocked off the door that originally led to the stairs and re-opened the old one; we will leave the closed door or we won’t be able to get furniture in & out from upstairs! But that won’t be a problem because I have a huge mirror that will cover it – another thing on the list to paint!

Doing this has given us an enormous amount of space, and given me the opportunity to have my wingback chairs in our large window.

I have always wanted this layout, to be able to sit here in the morning and look out across the garden, and valley.

In fact we sit here in the evening now when Danny (aka Rich) gets home from work. It is proving popular with all the animals, we sit in the chairs and Diddies goes to sleep in the window box.

Our living room was originally two rooms, and where before we had the wingback chairs over the other side we now have enough room to bring in a very large French Antique Buffet, and a round table.

If you look at the photo above you can see the top of the buffet, which is currently on the floor because the bottom is in my kitchen. But not after tomorrow it won’t be, because I am emptying it to move it, and tomorrow it will have it’s first coat of white paint.

As you can tell we are busy, and we are also selling some of our beautiful stuff. To move forward you have to let go: the Grandmother clock you can see in the pictures is being collected tomorrow by its new owner. My pretty antique Singer sewing machine is up for sale, along with many other pieces.

Both our kitchen and living room are going to be painted white, including all of the beams. Furniture we are keeping is in line for painting white and blue and I don’t have enough hours in the day.

I also want to develop my role now with regard to the book. Does anyone know an agent?!

I have to go now folks, but before I do, although I still don’t know where life will take me, I appreciate what I have. Who couldn’t when I wake up to this view in the morning?

I promise I will blog again at the weekend, I have so much to tell you .

Rosie

Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

Image result for is an adventure about moving forward in life

I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

Image result for is an adventure about moving forward in life

Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

regrets

So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

what you needed at the time

We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

img_3227

And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

img_2576-1

 

 

 

 

 

Changes are coming: The crap we keep

10 Monday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The continuing adventure

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

img_0015

So here I am at 18.30, my time ,and I started to write this blog at 14.30!! That is what it seems to be at the moment busy, busy, busy…

As you know from my previous posts, with the titles including the words changes are coming, we had water fitted last week, took the pool down, met the bank manager, and decided it was time to clear out our barn.

That is one of the things when you embark on a major life change such as this, the crap you bring with you! Heed my warnings all you adventurers, you may have thought that you had got rid of all the crap you did not needm but guess what you haven’t!

Then three years later, when you decide that perhaps you should go through those boxes of stuff that you thought were so essential you paid a fortune in storage for them, and an even bigger fortune in moving costs; the same stuff that you then leave in your barn for three years (obviously because it was that essential!) only to go through it one day and say ‘What the fuck did we bring that over to France for?!

So as we climbed over the crap, (treasured possessions as once was) we realised that we had a task on our hands.

 

 

As I have said before when we moved from England we were on first name terms with the little old ladies at the cancer charity shop (sorry I don’t give cancer a capital c anymore, it doesn’t deserve it!); so much so they all shouted ‘Rich’ when he went in with even more stuff that we gave away (like an episode of ‘Cheers’ only in Herne Bay in England!)

When we moved we thought we had been mercenary, we thought we had been hard, only to discover during this task, four boxes of our son’s stuff that we could not throw away ‘because he might need it one day.’ He needs it so much that he doesn’t even know it is here. Then there was the box with chipped plates, one random saucer that had not cup to go with it, and (I kid you not) glass jars that I used to put candles in!!

There were the broken lamp shades (it is safe to say not one surived the move), broken lamps, a plastic chair (which was weird because we have never owned plastic garden chairs), old cards ( I swore I threw them all away) old postcards, T.shirts, peices of random paper and even open envelopes!! There is no room for sentimentality when you do something like this, you have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

In addition a lot of the things we had brought over with us were reminders of people who stopped being in contact when we made this move; perhaps they decided that we were a bit too ‘out there’ for them, or that we made them feel as if they may be boring. (Yep, there is an irony there!) But let us not forget I was inadvertently told recently by someone that I was ‘full of hot air.’ At least I think it was inadvertent,other than that they were just being fucking rude!! But only if I gave a crap! (Oops there goes my hot air again! Better to be that than boring!)

So we went through everything (in one half only and it took two days) and let it all go (again)

 

We also discovered that other people had used our barn as a dumping ground and we had so many empty cardboard boxes (‘for Moira’s etsy’ they used to say) some with no lids and some with shit that other people had dumped in it!! Thanks one and all, and just to get it out there, I don’t want any more boxes. If I want them I will get them, I’m that sort of gal!!

But we did find our memory box, and, because we have changed we let some of that go. You cannot hold onto the past; I let my mum’s top go. I thought that I had let it go when we moved over here, I kept it at first, after she had died, because it smelled of her, it was her favourite top and she had worn it often;  I had moved it with me three times, because I thought it kept my mum with me but when we made our move over here I clearly remember saying ‘I need to let this go’; but I must have decided that, at a time I needed moral support, then I needed to bring it with me one more time. My mum died twenty one years ago, that top is not her, her spirit is free, not in a top from Marks and Spencers! So I have, now, let it go.

We did keep George, the wooden snake that Tom picked on our first holiday together as a family to Menorca; and Srog, his frog that I bought him from London Zoo, and there was some stuff we put back and said ‘Perhaps next time we go through this we will let this go then..’ We know that we are changing all the time you see.

There is stuff that needs to be researched, as I believe it has a value now, and it would be good to pass that money onto Tom, because most of the things are his after all, like is train set, and his action men still in their packaging.

I am going to sell Tom’s beautiful cherrywood cot/bed (yes can you believe I  moved his cot over here, because my mum bought it for me); but I am letting it go. I have learnt so much over the past three years, and one of them is that material things are not necessary to keep the memories. That is such a beautiful cot that I would rather a family who needed it, had it to cherish.

On Saturday we loaded up our new van and took half of the stuff to the dechetterie (the dump) with the other half to go on Wednesday. Most of the cardboard boxes are going on the bonfire (quick all those who say you shouldn’t have fires calle the Marie!) and our barn is tidy with boxes in there (also waiting to be burnt) and we now have less than half of what was there and a tidy organised room.

 

Now all Rich has to do is sort out this lot on the other side!!

 

You might have guessed, still lots of work to be done.

But most importantly my post is to say, let go, let go, let go, life is too short, let go of the crap and good will come your way.

Moisy