Category Archives: Learning and Evolving

Clearing Out The Old…

19 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by in Belief, Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, new adventures, New Paths, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure

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The start of a new day in France. As always I am inspired by the sunrises over the vallees, and cherishing every one. I will share as many as I can with you before we go..

I should be on the boat now returning to my job, but as always life showed me the way and a mutual decision was reached that I will not return, but that monies owed will be paid. I cannot tell you the relief I feel, and although we will lose some money I will trust my belief that what we need will come. I have followed Mark Nepo’s advice and I have ‘Let go of the rice.’

Last night RD and I realised It is probably for the best because we only have eight weeks left in this house, if not less. Despite being busy these last two weeks clearing out the barn, taking all the things we humans tend to harbour for years but will never use to the dechetterie (rubbish dump).

There is still a lot of clearing out to do. One half of our barn has been completed, just the other half to start today!

I have also been busy selling things we don’t need, we have learned the lesson well in: don’t move stuff to another country just ‘in case’. It costs way too much and we are resolute that what we need must all fit into a Luton van.

We are moving ourselves this time, otherwise it will mean that we will have spent up 12,000€ on moving! Too much!

I have also arranged accommodations in Ireland, with flexible dates until they are confirmed, and checked out accommodation here for the (hopefully) only ten days we will need to remain here. I am ready to go now.

In France when you sell your house on the day you sign on the dotted line you hand the keys to the new owner. There is no going back to finalise, that is it, you have to be out and the house has to be empty on the day. So we will need to book into accommodation before the final day. It will be a poignant time when we close the door.

In addition to the barn I have cleared out our armoire of the things that were put in it five years ago, added to and never used. Why do we do it? Have drawers full of crap?

Trust me these are the empty drawers, they were full to overflowing before. Now some drawers are empty with only a few things we are taking with us put back. We asked ourselves yesterday why it takes a move to clear our lives of clutter. A new lesson I will try and remember: have a yearly clear out LET GO.

The plan is that once the dates have been confirmed everything that is in our cupboards is coming with us and simply needs to be wrapped and packed. (I say simply😁)

I have applied the same principle to our fabulous French buffet, lovingly painted by me and now a storage facility for all the things that need to be packed. I just can’t wait for the date now.

So the animals are looking at us questionably, they know that things are abreast.

Rosie

Getting Ready: Clearing Out The Old.

10 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My home, new adventures, New Paths, The continuing adventure

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Why do we do it? Why do we hold onto things when we don’t really need them? Nearly six years ago RD and I cleared out our old Edwardian home.

With a huge loft it took forever to box it up and we had so much crap in our loft and in the house that we swore we would never do it again. But two years ago we finally went through our boxes we had brought over to France and found we hadn’t been as good and mercenary as we thought, because we had actually paid to bring crap over to France with us!

No surprises then that we are now faced with the task of clearing out the crap again, although this time we have learnt our lessons and we are being mercenary.

The cupboard in the picture above was what we called the ‘crap’ cupboard. It sat at the top of the stairs and we squeezed so much stuff in it we could hardly close the door. The last time I was home I made it my mission for it to be the first cupboard to be cleared. It would then enable me to store the summer clothes and bedding that we are already packing away.

Out came our old bikers jackets (RD is an avid biker) our boots, all bent up and mine a size that no longer fits me! There were old curtains that I could ‘make use of sometime’. My dress from my 21st birthday, thirty six years ago ffs!

There were clothes we had moved over from England that had been putbin the cupboard ‘ready for ironing’ that have never been on our backs since! RD’s old Ted Baker shirt way back when he was a forty chest. We have discussed how even then those shirts were £65, we wouldn’t pay that now so wonder what the hell we were doing paying it then. We have learnt our lessons.

Then there were the coats: a funky little leopard print coat, and fluffy coat neither of which I would be seen dead in. Why the hell I moved them to France I do not know. But you see I do…I moved those things because I was afraid to let go of my old life, it was all so overwhelming that we both held on to some things to give us comfort. But they didn’t and we didn’t need them, and there again are lessons learned.

We are letting so much go, we have learned that you do have to let go of the old, to bring in the new, and that all things will change anyway. That has been the biggest gift for me: learning my lessons.

In Feng Shui they believe we should let go to enable new things to come into our lives, we know that now.

So this is what the cupboard looks like now, and this is with stuff we have already packed up.

I am home for just over another week, and tackling the crap in my buffet and armoire, I am opening up so many new opportunities by doing so.

It’s been busy, what with me going to work in Jersey, and the move still going ahead. RD has been on his own again for three weeks, it’s too long, especially when considering that I am not being paid for a week of isolation. Decisions have been made. We’re letting go of the rice.

Rosie

Cherishing The Changes of the Season: The Charabang Outing.

15 Tuesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, For the live of dogs, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My family and other furry creatures, My home, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, Reflections, sunrises and sunsets, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Autumn has never enthralled me more than since moving here. I have written about it So often.

Autumn is a time for letting go, and no more so than this year.

So last Sunday, before I returned to work for what I thought was going to be a long stint, I realised that when I returned home in October the evenings would be dark, and the opportunity to sit in my garden on these warm autumn evenings would be passed; that this would be the final weekend evening ever when I could savour my garden as she began her preparation to move from summer to autumn. Because all things are changing.

It has been incredibly warm here for September, with the temperature in the early thirties most days, so as the sun went down RD and I decided to take a walk around our garden, and savour what we have, at times, taken for granted.

Off we went up the chemin (ooh matron!) that divides our main garden from our field behind our barn, as the sun started to set. Needless to say the Welshies were with us, excited that mummy and daddy were walking around the garden with them, as if they wanted to show us all the things we might miss. Like the crab apples, and Cobb nuts, crunching beneath our feet.

As we passed Daisy (fondly known as Pussy Upsey the Bond Villain ) she watched with interest…

And not put off by Welshies at all decided to join us on our walk. She is fondly known as ‘cat Dog’.

Up she came behind us, stalking the serial killer known as Wiglet (she is a Bond villain after all!) not put off my Wiglet’s penchant for killing small things, because Daisy is a bit of an oompa loompa!

As we walked on to the field behind our barn, with its newly repaired roof (the boy done good) the sun set reflected onto the old building, built in 1812, it shimmered in the sunlight, as if knowing that yet again it was being left behind. That building must have so many stories to tell. We are going to become part of it’s history now.

As we stood taking in the sunset RD reminded me of the fabulous view from just over the horizon of the field behind us. In five years I had still not walked down to see it. I will make a note to do that when I get home.

I looked at all my beautiful animals, and was reminded of just how much they love us.

I savoured the sunshine, and thought of all those beautiful creatures who we have lost in the last five years, poignant memories, the kind that make you smile with tears in your eyes. Autumn reminded me, as always, of the things we take for granted.

I realised then that I rarely show you the view from this side of our garden, or the sun setting from this angle. So time to share this walk with you, with all who have followed this adventure with me. From the fields surrounding us, to the old statuesque oaks, standing so tall in our garden. They will give someone else shelter next year.

I miss my home….

Rosie

Feeling Strangely Calm

12 Saturday Sep 2020

Posted by in Belief, Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, Making our own way, new adventures, New Paths, sunrises and sunsets, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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See the source image

So a few days ago our lovely immoblier contacted us to say that it may not be possible to convert our barn into a dwelling. We had never advertised the house in such a way as to imply it could be, but the people who have offered are keen to convert. The implication is that this may affect the sale. But strangely I feel very calm. We feel very calm.

As you know RD has been working on our house and I have not actively sought work for him this year (it is difficult enough but add Covid to the mix and it is virtually impossible.) However over the past two weeks he has been contacted direct re working for people in the area. Not least at one of the most beautiful places he has ever been asked to work.

We visited with trepidation but our fears were quickly allayed because the people are very nice. There is no agenda, just really nice people. He also has other work lined up from previous clients so now it is raising questions about our way forward.

Now as you all know we believe that life shows us the way, and the fact that so many people had contacted RD we decided that if he worked it would enable him to employ someone to help him with our barn roof now that his good friend has returned to the UK for good. (A poignant time when he said goodbye, as change so often is.)

We also believe that when life sends you such a strong message you really do have to listen. So for the first time in a long time RD is working very locally for lovely people in a fairytale setting. But it does now put pressure on us re the move as I am still working in another country and due to the wonderful Covid I have to spend six days of my time without pay and away from home, whilst I isolate. Is this best for us?

Something to consider, given the messages we are being sent.

So back to the house sale. We had an offer on our house within ten days of it going on line, with a whole influx of emails from people who wanted to view it. In fact still want to view it, even though it is under offer. We know that the location of this house is second to none. It is down a two kilometre lane, that finishes where our house is. No through traffic, in a national park, with as you know stunning views. No amount of money put into a house can change it’s location. So when asked if we would agree to wait until the people find out if they can convert the barn, we declined. We cannot live in limbo, packing everything away ‘just in case’ and then find that they are going to pull out, and we have to start all over again.

We know that this house and it’s location is worth every penny, so if they decide that the conversion of the barn (which can never be fully guaranteed until you go through a long process) is a deal breaker it will be back on the market. Tout suite.

Another thing we have learned: Our Worth!

Rosie

Harvest Moon

01 Tuesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My home, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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I am cherishing everything now. (Why do we only seem do that when we are letting things go?) I said in one of my latest blogs that I was going to sit in my garden. It hasn’t disappointed.

Last night RD and I sat in our pyjames with a beer and a wine and we watched this bright gold early Harvest Moon rise.

I could not catch the colour of the moon, but as the sky changed colour it was a beautiful site in that inky blue sky, as it rose over the valley.

As we both sat with tears in our eyes , the bats whizzed around the trees in our garden, and the owl hooted from the distance. (I like to think it was the owl we had saved all those years ago).

I turned to RD and said ‘we may feel as we do now, because we are leaving. But if we were staying would we still be cherishing this moment?’ I believe the answer would be ‘no’, because we humans sadly hold on to something when we know we are going to lose it. It’s not always the best thing to do.

Life has adventures on every corner, if you are brave enough to turn the bend.

To memories of Harvest Moons, and owls and bats, trees in our garden and being blessed to have experienced it.

Rosie

Poignant: The Beginning of the End

29 Wednesday Jul 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, My home, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, Us

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The For Sale Board is on the gate, marking the beginning of the end for this adventure.

As I sit here in my garden writing this post, the pool is bubbling away, and it’s currently just over thirty degrees at 7pm in the evening, RD is just doing a little shopping and the Harley Pup is patiently waiting to be splashed.

The bees are buzzing around. butterflies are fluttering by, our garden looks lovely, all ready for the pictures that have been taken to sell this house and take us away from here.

Five years ago I dreamt of what I am doing right now, writing a blog in the sunshine, with a light summer breeze, listening to the pigeons, surrounded by tranquility . This place has healed me.

It seems strange that the For Sale sign is now in place.

We have deliberated long and hard, we know it is the right decision, but on an evening like this evening, it feels a little poignant.

Cherishing the moment.

Rosie

Remembering To Enjoy The Here and Now

21 Tuesday Jul 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, My home, Simple things, sunrises and sunsets, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good life

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Morning sunshine 2020

So on the back of the last post from what will be a series of posts reflecting on what we have learned from the past, here is the first post from the series about the Here and Now.

I am so aware of the fact that this may well be our last summer here (I never assume a definite I am not doing the driving ) but I know it’s pretty likely. We have taken the weather for granted over the years, the sunny mornings and the fabulous views, and have often sat inside drinking our tea; but today the morning is beautiful and we are sitting on our terrace, drinking our tea, and treasuring this moment.

It’s so easy when we make plans for the future to jump headfirst into them and forget about where you are, and enjoying the moment. I know it is something I do, and by writing a series of blogs about enjoying what we have here, and all the poignancy that entails now we know we will be saying goodbye, I hope will keep me grounded.

Enjoy your day. It’s all you have.

Rosie.

July 2020 Pays de Loire

What Have We Learned: You can only ever make decisions based on the Here and Now .

20 Monday Jul 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, mental health, new adventures, New Paths, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The background story, The continuing adventure, Us

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Larchamp 2013

Seven years ago I took this photograph of the pretty sundial we used as a table at a beautiful gite we were vacating in. I still love this picture today, one of tranquillity and stillness.

At the time I took it I was just about to move from an incredibly stressful job to what I didn’t know at the time would be the job from hell. I didn’t realise just how stressed I actually was at that time, so when I then became ill with stress the following year, to us the obvious place to live in France was the region where this picture had been taken. We made our decisions based on how we felt at that time.

Now, after living in this place for five years the people who ran the gite have moved back to England, in fact many people who we have met along the way have moved back to England.

Over the years we have come to realise that is part of an adventure like this: change, not for ‘change sake’, but because we evolve, and part of evolving means that we move forward to pastures new. At the time we make our decisions they are the right ones at that moment in time, based on how we feel at that moment in time. Just as we did after our fabulous holidays in this region.

When RD and I moved here we were both burnt out, literally. My brain had been addled dealing with high levels of human emotion every day. I needed peace, I needed to step out, I needed tranquility and this place offered us all that; and it healed me. But moving on I am better, despite only realising and accepting recently that I will never go back to the person I once was; and as I write that I wonder why I thought I would, because you can never go back, you can only ever go forward.

So now we are healed we have also learned that we are not ready to retire, and we are not ready to slow down quite this much. Going back to work, and interacting with some of the fabulous people I have met has also shown me that. RD has realised that he misses the interaction with other colleagues, he misses working as part of a team. We miss nightlife, and having the opportunity to interact fully in our community.

Language is a barrier, never believe that it isn’t. Language dictates, to a certain degree, the people who you have to interact with, as opposed to those you want to. I cannot emphasise enough the huge impact not knowing a language will have when you undertake an adventure like this. There is an upside also though: you can (I won’t say will because some never try) learn the fabulous art of improvisation, and the other fabulous art of mime! And the best people we have met during this time have been French people.

So seven years ago, when the picture in this post was taken I was a very different person (not least that I can speak a little French now). I was fighting against my feelings of fear and entrapment. Going on this journey has stopped all of that, I have learned who I was, and who I am, and I know there is a ‘who I am going to be’ somewhere in the future.

More to come.

Rosie

My home in the evening sun

Triggers and Positives.

08 Wednesday Jul 2020

Posted by in a sense of community, Change is a coming, Friends, Learning and Evolving, mental health, People, The continuing adventure

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It’s been a difficult few weeks, mainly because I was triggered after returning to work, and I didn’t even realise I now have things that will trigger me.

This is my first job since I was ill six years ago. I was told then by my counsellor that I am what is known as a ‘doer’. It means I will always get things done, and do them well. The downside of that is that I will often be asked to do things because I can be relied upon, over and over again, piling the pressure on. This time I was told that I was being given a job because I was good at something that others struggle with, it was meant to be seen as a compliment, but I saw it as flannel. I am too old for that. But the most frightening thing was that my brain went into high alert, silently screaming ‘Oh no! It’s happening again, I cannot do this any more!’ It literally went into flight mode and I had no control over it. That is a frightening place to be.

Within a week I was in a depression, I could feel myself falling and I couldn’t stop. RD was so afraid because by the SaturdaymI had stopped answering my texts and communicating other than with my work face on.

But then work sent a co-worker to assist me and she was a breath of fresh air. She listened, that simple, she listened; and she made me laugh. In fact I started to see that the women who came to assist me in that second week were all brilliant in their own way. But more than anything they were kind, so kind.

So rather than dwell on negatives I will focus on the positives from this difficult time. I have changed their names in anagram form as much as possible here goes…

To Tan, who brought me new socks to wear because I had sent all my socks home, on the hope that the normal ferries would be working. I had to go home on Boaty McBoatface again, at 5am in the morning, so they were a Godsend. Also a big thanks for your support and making me laugh.

To Elvis, she will know who she is. Her ways brought me back, gave me something to smile about. What you saw was what you got, straight talking, but kind. Supportive in every way. She finished my last week off by buying fresh Jersey Royal potatoes and bringing them to me to bring home to RD. Then she came to see me with a freshly baked lemon drizzle cake that she made at midnight the night before, for RD. It’s the best lemon drizzle cake I have ever eaten.

Then there is Rhoma, who brought me two books, and we set up a chick lit book club. A lovely lady, who helped me understand it wasn’t me.

There is the lovely member of staff, who when I got upset cried with me, and hugged me. That small thing meant so much.

It all made me realise that I work with a wonderful group of people, who don’t have the recognition they deserve.

I am home now, sitting in my garden, treasuring this view. This will be our last summer here. The house is going on the market next week. Busy times.

Rosie

Making Our Minds Up … no barriers have been set

15 Monday Jun 2020

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Learning and Evolving, new adventures, New Paths, The continuing adventure

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We have had many discussions about the next move.

When I first came home I said to RD how we live in this house rent free. We have stuck to our learnings about not getting any debt for windows, or cesspits, or anything that we don’t have the money to pay for. There have been times on this adventure that we have thought ‘Thank God we didn’t get any debt!’

There were times we were tempted. The French Government has a scheme for new windows and doors where you can obtain loans at a very low interest rate. But they are still loans, and they still tie you and trap you and stop you having options for the future. We stuck to our guns and so we live in this house, that is fully paid for, rent free.

But the housing market across the world has been affected by the pandemic and the valuations came in at less than we hoped. We wouldn’t lose any of our initial outlay, but we would not recoup what we have paid for water, and a new roof, new doors, new gates, and a soon to be new barn roof.

But we also know that we live in the Parc Normandie, and have rolling hills in front of us and countryside surrounding us. We also live on a dead end road, no through traffic just quiet, with neighbours near enough to support us, but far enough to have our space. We know what this house offers so it will work out, the things we have money cannot buy, and they cannot be added.

But we were pragmatic and thought well if we moved to Ireland we would have to rent and pay out money we don’t pay out now. I now have a job, let’s just enjoy France for a year and see where life takes us. We have a lot to do before it goes up for sale next month.

However there is another way to look at it. There is no work here for RD, and there will be some work in Ireland, mainly based on the fact that he speaks the language. Let’s put it this way: There won’t be any less! If RD earns the money that the rent would cost then we won’t be any worse off than we are now. Mmmmmmm a dilemma.

So we have decided to put the house up for sale, let life show us the way, and when it does we will make the decision on when to move.

We’re not stressed. We know that what will be will be.

Rosie