It’s official: we hand the keys over to the new owners of our house just before Christmas .
So Christmas as we know it is cancelled this year, no decorations (the one thing I love about Christmas). But there is a chance our son will come to visit with his friend so we will all be in a gite together, and it will be a an alternative Christmas, which will be good, not least because it will be different.
One of our lessons from living here has been to to simplify, to realise that we don’t need ‘stuff’ we just need good people around us. I read the linked post before I linked it, and it made me cry.
I have changed so much from this adventure, isn’t that what stepping outside of your comfort zone is about, to change and evolve?
So it’s busy, busy, busy. Rich is working I am packing up, and the poor animals are stressed to the max.
A new day is dawning…
Rosie
Today’s sunrise no wonder this house healed me …
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I am currently sitting in bed, it’s 11.45 in the morning and we have allowed ourselves a morning lie in. It’s a busy time.
We have a very atmospheric sky today, and the pictures above are what I can see from my vantage point as I write this.
I am surrounded by sleeping Welshies and RD snoring away, and after our scare last weekend I have again been reminded to only ever live in the here and now.
This will be our second move in six years. In fact in our twenty- two, almost twenty- three years of being together we have moved four times, this will be our fifth move.
Over the week as well as frantically taking as many photos of the fabulous sunsets we are blessed with, I have been packing up our belongings and I was making decisions about what to keep and what to let go. As part of this I was boxing up the shoes that we had, supposedly, decided we were taking with us, after letting so many pairs go; and as I did so I found myself putting additional pairs in the clothing bag for charity. In fact it was as if I was having an epiphany: you HAVE to let go of the old to make room for the new.
The shoes weren’t the only things that led to this. I have my son’s cot in the barn, he is thirty-one years old, why the hell did I ship it to France? I know why, we were moving to another country and for the first time I would not have my son near to me, that first Christmas without him being there was a hard lesson. But now it’s what it is, he has his life, and I want him to live it, and I have learned to let go of the idea that we always have to be together.
Then there is a blue top that belonged to my mum, it was her favourite top, she wore it often. After she died I kept it, and dutifully moved it three times. I thought when we came here I had let it go, but no, when I sorted our cupboard at the top of the stairs there it was again, buried in amongst all the clothes we have never worn in five years. I let it go this time, with all the other clothes. Only this time was different: this time I held it up and said to RD ‘This is not my mum, this is a top. My mum is in my memories.’
After that I was then on a roll: the fridge magnets we bought in Disney twenty- seven years ago (when I was married to my first husband ffs!) off they went to the great dechetterie (dump in French) in the sky. Sentimental mugs, faux flowers, old earrings, and watches and bracelets, tarnished, were in the bin before they knew it.
All of this got me thinking is life really just one big on-going lesson about learning to let go? Is life really just a lesson in learning about why we hold on to things which then enables us to let them go?
I understand why I bought so many things from our old house with me. I loved that house, I found it hard leave it, and so I bought the things I could from it, because it was too hard to let it all go at once. But as the years passed here I realised I didn’t want to re-create my past, that I need to make something new. My old house had gone, and I was then ready to let the things associated with it go too. There are some things I love that I will take with me because I love the item itself, or the memory it conjures up.
As I packed away my thoughts developed further and I found myself asking does that apply to everything in life? Including the loved ones we have lost? Someone once said to me ‘every time you cry about your mum, you pull her back, and you never let her spirit free.’ I found it difficult to understand at first, but after reading and learning and listening and reflecting it becomes clearer every day.
When my mum was dying she promised she would come back for each and every one of us, so when my beloved Westie dog died I thought I would feel my mum’s presence, and my heartbreak was even more compounded when I didn’t.
I understand now that it was never going to be, because we are all spirits learning what we need to learn in each lifetime, and we then move on to the next stage of our enlightenment. Perhaps those who love us stay near for a time, but eventually they have to let us go, to enable us to grow.
Then there are the friendships that come and go, and sometimes come back again after we have all learned and evolved. I believe the right people migrate back to you, as I have written about often. But more importantly how often does life show us that we need to let the relationships go? Show us, as we evolve, that they weren’t what we thought they were at all? That the people were not what we thought? Or, thinking even more deeply, perhaps they were, and it is us who have changed.
I think that is one of the hardest lessons of all, we don’t want to see negatives in those we have spent so much of our life with. But if we are able to objectively, it can enable us to decide whether to still have the person in our life or not, without rancour or pain. It’s just what it is.
Letting go of pain, letting go of hurt, just letting go without bitterness, is probably one of the hardest things to do. When RD left me I learned from writing my journal that if I allowed myself to be consumed in bitterness I would be destroyed. That was nearly fourteen years ago, now I use what I learned to help some others who find themselves where I was, but now I also know it applies to so many things in life. But I can only help ‘some’ because the others do not want to ‘let go.’ And so they continue to suffer in pain. That experience has taught me to let go of the hope that I could help everyone. I can’t, people can only ever help themselves.
I have learned over the past five years that we cannot have the sunny side of life all the time. The Tao has taught me that where there is good there is bad, where there is love there is heartache, where there is life there is death. I had to remind myself of that last week when Harley was ill, I had to say it as a mantra, and despite the pain I felt, it gave me comfort and strength and it has made me live every day this week cherishing every small moment.
It’s amazing isn’t it, what you learn as you unpack and pack your life up again? And the time will come, in the near future, when we let this house go, and this adventure go, and we ‘let go,of the rice.’ (Mark Nepo, The Book Of Awakening
Have a good Sunday folks.
Rosie
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Anyone who follows this blog knows that I have always loved the sunrises over the valley. I have shared them often with you, the photo above is todays sunrise and I promised more in one of my recent posts, I hadn’t forgotten.
At this time of year the winds can whip up quickly in the valleys, but despite their ferocity at times I have always loved laying in bed with my beloved husband and Welshies and listen to them whooshing around the house. and more than anything I love to hear the rain hitting the drawn down shutters. I lay in bed with all my blessings around me and I listen to that rain and I feel safe, and blessed to have shelter. It is a small thing to some, but living here listening to that calming sound has made me understand that it’s not a small thing, it’s the thing that people search for: a home, safety, love.
This week we were reminded again, to live in the here and now. Harley has been a little off colour over the past few weeks, and I noticed he was drinking more, and he had some accidents in the house. On Friday he literally wet himself in front of us, so I took him to the vet on Saturday morning. The outcome was that they wanted to test him for ‘Cushings’ disease. Of course I had already looked up possibilities of what could be wrong with him, and I knew that this possible outcome was not good. Harley is nine now, and I want him to live forever (tears in my eyes now.)
We booked the test for today, and we cried all day on Saturday, and I just kept saying my mantra ‘here and now, here and now’ over and over again.
I joined numerous Facebook groups to ask for advice. The outpouring of support from those sites, and our wonder Welsh Terrier Fan Club site was overwhelming. In these difficult times it was a joy to know that people are still good people, it appears thats especially where our beloved animals are concerned.
Our vet is a lovely vet, but he is an agricultural vet primarily and after much discussion, taking into account that many people who have had to deal with this disease advised to have his urine tested in a lab and a culture grown, that we are moving to Ireland in ten weeks approx, the complexity of dealing with the disease (if he has it) and the complexity of diagnosis (get it wrong and give him the meds with terrible side effects and it could kill him), and that he would have to be monitored we decided not to go ahead with the test. We feel that for now we have made the right choice. It would appear that Harley does too, as he has stopped drinking as much and has perked right up.
So that will be something to keep my eye on, because we have approximately forty days before we have to leave this house, and there is still so much to do.
A bientot.
Rosie
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So after a slow start we have all signed the Compromise de Vente. Our buyers have a cooling off period but despite this they have paid their ten per cent deposit and paid to expedite the process, so it’s looking promising. It looks as if we will be leaving our home just after Christmas, if not before. Christmas is cancelled in our house.
We had started weeks ago with regard to getting the house ready to pack, including sorting the barn…
Yep! Why?
We have been clearing out cupboards, being really mercenary with letting things go. We have learned from this adventure that you have to let go to move forward. Despite knowing this I find we have to constantly remind ourselves. So due to this I am offering my son’s beautiful cherrywood cot, that turns into a bed, for free on a giveaway site. He’s 31, I think it’s time to let it go.
On Sunday we gave away his chess set and superhero figures to our neighbours little boy. I know why I bought them over here, I have realised that ‘letting go’ is a gradual process that, if we embrace change, happens over time. I loved my old house, it was the house where my son left home from, it was a beautiful house, and I couldn’t let it all go at once. But as we learn that change brings new things into our lives, so we let go to allow room.
There is a lot to do, and RD will be working for 3 to 4 weeks of the time left. So today we got up full of good intentions, despite both of us having a bad nights sleep, to crack on with clearing the goats shed, and the cellar. But I knew that we needed to plan this huge move, and the planning had to start from today, with everything to consider: money, the process, the order of things that needed to be done, and not least in the mix were our beloved animals. They have to be jabbed: the cats to enable them to go into the cattery at least 3 days before the actual move, and they and the Welshies need to have rabies jabs at least 22 days before the move.
We had to think are we taking the cats on the boat, for twenty hours, or fly them out to us. This would mean leaving them for up to eight weeks in a cattery, and I don’t want to spend a thousand euros on that. As part of our discussions we also both said we don’t want to leave them in France when we are not here. The decision has been made, they’re coming with us.
That led onto the discussion as to room in the van, leading on to ‘do we leave our stuff over here for months, or make arrangements to collect it sooner rather than later?’
To make all these decisions we had to contact the vets for prices for the inoculations, and a storage facility in Ireland, who acted like I was mad when I asked if he required a deposit, saying very kindly ‘Oh I don’t think there’s any need for that.’ We had to look up boats and what facilities they offer for our beloved furries, and so much more.
We need to find somewhere to stay for the ten days after the move, in France we have to leave the house at least 2 days before the sale goes through, because the house has to be clean, tidy and all blemishes and marks have to be made good. It’s all part of selling your house over here. On the day we all sign the final ‘Acte de Vente’ we hand the keys over there and then. There is no going back.
I wondered if we all pontificate when it comes to moving, because of that fear of change. I think we do.
So six hours after starting planning the day was nearly gone, but the plans have been mapped out on paper, decisions have been made and tomorrow we get up at 7! Hopefully I will get a wonderful sunrise to share.
Rosie
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Selling houses is stressful, there is no doubt about that. But more of that on future blogs. Just to say the Compromise de Vente (which means a commitment to sale) has finally been signed by our buyers, and we are due to sign next week. There will then be a ten day cooling off period for the buyers, fingers crossed it all goes well.
Due to the stresses it has been easy to forget that we only ever live in the here and now. So last week as RD and I sat in the garden in some bright autumn sunshine, I reminded him that we should make the most of our impromptu tea break because when we go to Ireland we are both going back to work, which means the time for impromptu tea breaks on any day will be gone. That we should treasure how much time we get to spend with the Welshies, because we won’t have as much time as this in the future.
Later in the week we lit our garden fire, and took two of our garden chairs to just ‘sit’ and watch the flames. We are both in the frame of mind that we just want to leave France now, but we should treasure the moments when we sit under some of our majestic oaks, with the dogs, and enjoy the peace and solitude that you can only find in nature.
Today we were invited to our lovely neighbours Manu and Lucie, for aperitif. We spent a couple of hours with them, playing drafts with the chess set we retrieved from our barn, a gift to our son many years ago and never touched. Trying to teach them,and us,chess with the language barrier was just too great! Their eight year old son loved it, and a relaxed fun couple of hours was had.
RD has been struggling with everything that’s been going on, but when we returned he said ‘that has really lifted me, today,’ I looked at him and said ‘That’s what I mean about living in the here and now, we give so much focusing on what we want in the future we fail to see what we have now. We let it go, and we stop enjoying it.’ RD looked at me and said ‘I understand.’
Happy Sunday folks
Rosie
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It’s a blowy, blustery day here in France. One of those types of days that I love: when the rain is blown in and literally back out again by the ferocity of the wind, and the trees are waving away like demented stick giants frantically trying to tell us something.
I found the quote at the beginning of the post, today. As always, at a time when I needed to be reminded. What we will need will come. Selling houses are always such stressful times.
I reminded RD last night as we lay in our pretty little bedroom cuddling, with the lights sparkling away, and the Welshies gently snoring, that despite what we think we want, we must remember to live in the here and now: with our lovely house, with it’s stunning views, because that is all we have. As I lay in the night listening to the rain hitting the shutters I was reminded that this was one of the first things I loved about living here: that noise of the rain being flung about by the wind, knocking at the shutters as if asking to come into the safe and warm.
I think selling houses gets you so caught up in the planning for the future that you can often lose sight of the fact that you’re not really living your current moment. It was timely that the quote was sent my way today.
We had ordered some wood for the winter, knowing that despite the pending move nothing is certain and that we still need it for the here and now. With RD working it was down to me to take delivery and decant into our log store.
It was just what I needed: to be out in the blowey blustery day working, whilst I let the wind clear my mind. Nature was kind to me, the sun came out and the rain blew on by. I took some time to watch as the leaves dancing in the air as if some mad puppet master had control of them, at one point it looked as if they were marching in a line.
Now after a few hours work I sit here….
It is one of my favourite places to sit, and I am listening to the wind blowing through the trees, the sun is streaming through the window and I am again counting my blessings.
Rosie
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The start of a new day in France. As always I am inspired by the sunrises over the vallees, and cherishing every one. I will share as many as I can with you before we go..
I should be on the boat now returning to my job, but as always life showed me the way and a mutual decision was reached that I will not return, but that monies owed will be paid. I cannot tell you the relief I feel, and although we will lose some money I will trust my belief that what we need will come. I have followed Mark Nepo’s advice and I have ‘Let go of the rice.’
Last night RD and I realised It is probably for the best because we only have eight weeks left in this house, if not less. Despite being busy these last two weeks clearing out the barn, taking all the things we humans tend to harbour for years but will never use to the dechetterie (rubbish dump).
There is still a lot of clearing out to do. One half of our barn has been completed, just the other half to start today!
I have also been busy selling things we don’t need, we have learned the lesson well in: don’t move stuff to another country just ‘in case’. It costs way too much and we are resolute that what we need must all fit into a Luton van.
We are moving ourselves this time, otherwise it will mean that we will have spent up 12,000€ on moving! Too much!
I have also arranged accommodations in Ireland, with flexible dates until they are confirmed, and checked out accommodation here for the (hopefully) only ten days we will need to remain here. I am ready to go now.
In France when you sell your house on the day you sign on the dotted line you hand the keys to the new owner. There is no going back to finalise, that is it, you have to be out and the house has to be empty on the day. So we will need to book into accommodation before the final day. It will be a poignant time when we close the door.
In addition to the barn I have cleared out our armoire of the things that were put in it five years ago, added to and never used. Why do we do it? Have drawers full of crap?
Trust me these are the empty drawers, they were full to overflowing before. Now some drawers are empty with only a few things we are taking with us put back. We asked ourselves yesterday why it takes a move to clear our lives of clutter. A new lesson I will try and remember: have a yearly clear out LET GO.
The plan is that once the dates have been confirmed everything that is in our cupboards is coming with us and simply needs to be wrapped and packed. (I say simply😁)
I have applied the same principle to our fabulous French buffet, lovingly painted by me and now a storage facility for all the things that need to be packed. I just can’t wait for the date now.
So the animals are looking at us questionably, they know that things are abreast.
Rosie
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It’s been coming for some time, life has been screaming at me for some time, but I got caught up on the hamster wheel of money.
I placed a cosmic order in August, explained how I do have faith, and that what you need will come, but explained how I was afraid; and I asked that I was shown what we needed would come. I was shown, but I didn’t stick to my part of the bargain and I went back. Life tapped me on the back, to remind me of our side of the bargain I felt guilty for reneging. It has shown me over and over again since I came back that we will get what we need. Why did I not believe? So yesterday I did, and changes were made.
Last night RD took a beer out from a Euros pack (special offer, because the Euros didn’t take place) and the first beer, second beer and third beer were for this country.
Do you think life is trying to tell us something? I think so….
Rosie
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I woke this crisp autumn morning to this beautiful sunrise.
I have always shared the sunrises with you all throughout the years, I am now cherishing every one whilst I am here. Over the years the sunrises have inspired me on even my bleakest of moods, the sun rising over the vallees always reminded me that no matter what, a new day will come, and we just have to go with the flow.
It’s all systems go now for our move. We should know for sure if all is going ahead by the beginning of November. It’s a busy time.
Our little hamlet feels different now, almost subdued since the changes last week. RD and I feel as if life is saying to us ‘Time to go.’
Since our decision to leave we have always said that we are sorry to be leaving our little community, but what has happened is again a reminder that nothing stays the same; that you cannot stay somewhere because of people, because people change, their lives change, they move on. It’s like a ripple, constantly moving, there is no staying still.
Since making our decisions I have often said I would keep this house if I could afford to, as well as living in Ireland. RD asked me over the weekend would I stay now? The answer was ‘No’, it’s time to let go. There are new horizons to see.
But just for a moment I stopped and cherished the moment, on a crisp autumn morning.
Rosie
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Why do we do it? Why do we hold onto things when we don’t really need them? Nearly six years ago RD and I cleared out our old Edwardian home.
With a huge loft it took forever to box it up and we had so much crap in our loft and in the house that we swore we would never do it again. But two years ago we finally went through our boxes we had brought over to France and found we hadn’t been as good and mercenary as we thought, because we had actually paid to bring crap over to France with us!
No surprises then that we are now faced with the task of clearing out the crap again, although this time we have learnt our lessons and we are being mercenary.
The cupboard in the picture above was what we called the ‘crap’ cupboard. It sat at the top of the stairs and we squeezed so much stuff in it we could hardly close the door. The last time I was home I made it my mission for it to be the first cupboard to be cleared. It would then enable me to store the summer clothes and bedding that we are already packing away.
Out came our old bikers jackets (RD is an avid biker) our boots, all bent up and mine a size that no longer fits me! There were old curtains that I could ‘make use of sometime’. My dress from my 21st birthday, thirty six years ago ffs!
There were clothes we had moved over from England that had been putbin the cupboard ‘ready for ironing’ that have never been on our backs since! RD’s old Ted Baker shirt way back when he was a forty chest. We have discussed how even then those shirts were £65, we wouldn’t pay that now so wonder what the hell we were doing paying it then. We have learnt our lessons.
Then there were the coats: a funky little leopard print coat, and fluffy coat neither of which I would be seen dead in. Why the hell I moved them to France I do not know. But you see I do…I moved those things because I was afraid to let go of my old life, it was all so overwhelming that we both held on to some things to give us comfort. But they didn’t and we didn’t need them, and there again are lessons learned.
We are letting so much go, we have learned that you do have to let go of the old, to bring in the new, and that all things will change anyway. That has been the biggest gift for me: learning my lessons.
In Feng Shui they believe we should let go to enable new things to come into our lives, we know that now.
So this is what the cupboard looks like now, and this is with stuff we have already packed up.
I am home for just over another week, and tackling the crap in my buffet and armoire, I am opening up so many new opportunities by doing so.
It’s been busy, what with me going to work in Jersey, and the move still going ahead. RD has been on his own again for three weeks, it’s too long, especially when considering that I am not being paid for a week of isolation. Decisions have been made. We’re letting go of the rice.
Rosie
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