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Category Archives: Change is a coming

Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

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I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

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Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

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So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

what you needed at the time

We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

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And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

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Driven……Part I

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, People, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I have been notoriously absent from my blog; but I can assure you that I have not been notoriously absent from the internet! I have been absent because I have been building another two websites; and promoting, promoting, promoting.

You see as I explained to you all in earlier blogs things have been very difficult; things have happened to us to make us rethink life (as you know in my blog I shared I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now), included in that has been rethinking people and also rethinking us, and the people that we want to be on this adventure. It has been difficul but it has been constructive: it brought the Moisy that will never let anything beat her back; and by Christ I won’t!

So  I decided that we needed to make things happen ourselves: gone are the days when we relied on any ‘old boys network’, or even word of mouth from doing a good job, to get work. We had to stop waiting for things to come to us and go and find them instead: I had to put us out there. Rich is totally legal to work in France we even have assurance for his work (which a lot of people don’t) but we were being held back from advertising Rich on local FB sites because of the n’er do wells who always have something to say. Well d’ya know what? I am back and I am not letting people live our lives for us anymore. Hence the websites:

Rich’s wonderful website

On the back of my camping website I decided to make us a professional website for Rich’s handyman/painting & decorating business. I used the skills I have as a writer, and the knowledge I gained over the years of dealing with the public, to make this website for Rich; and then I put it out there for Rich. I have explained how Rich will do the prep work for decorating if someone then wants to do the painting (most people will tell you that they hate prep); and so much more. As a result Rich now has a job to start next week, he has already done some work for a client (who called him back to do more) and we have had over ten enquiries and other jobs are in the pipeline (all in 5 weeks.)

Inspired by it’s success I decided to turn my attention to my Etsy shop, that has been in the doldrums lately . So on a roll I then set myself a website up for my shop where people can buy direct. Here is one of my most recent stock items, I love him and he currently resides in my living room but I have to let him go. He is nearly 100 years old and I have to put my business head on.

But the thing is I  have loved doing it: I have realised that I have a talent for setting up websites, and I have loved doing what I am good at and learning a new skill in the mix;  more than anything I have loved getting results. My website went live last week and this is now on it’s way to South Carolina in the USA.

 

In addition I have always been complimented on my styling and interiors so I am now putting together vignetttes and styling tips on my website.

If you would like to see more then take a peep – I can source items as well and vide grenier season is starting.

Moisy’s shop petitefrenchfancies

you see I was not perpared to give up, we are as good as anyone over here (in fact we both have five star reviews for what we have done) and I am now using that to our advantage.

It has been so difficult that Rich seriously thought about going back to the UK to work; but now I have just started to advertise that he will in fact travel all over France fo work (providing there is a weeks work for him, not for small jobs). We have sourced cheap accomodation for him and this not only gives him work but also provides us with an opportunity to see more of France whilst earning money; because often I will meet Rich wherever he is for the last night and day (with the Welshies of course!) Or I will go with him. We both agreed that if you are going to go back to th UK then you may as well travel around France instead!

This will also stop us getting into what can be a rut of just doing the same ol’ same ol’ (more of that in another post about France and mental health).

As I have said I am back: I will still be kind to people but I will not put up with an ounce of shit anymore; as one of the n’er do wells found out when they put something very rude and unncessary on one of the posts for Rich’s site! I answered them, professionally but also assertively. As always with people who are manipulators she tried to say I was being aggressive, until others started to answer her and say how rude she was. But being professional and kind I stepped in and said that she had messaged me direct to explain and that it was all resolved. We got a job out of that!

Oh, and by the way – we fixed the roof! Ruch and I.

Like I said: Driven!

Look out for more posts folks, buttons are now available on each post with links to our sites.

Moisy

Driven Part II – When you’re ‘living the dream’

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside

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I wrote this blog and had it in my drafts ready to post. Then life took over and instead I posted about how we were seriously re-thinking our position.

Here & Now

In it  I was honest about whether we were going to stay. Looking back now, much of what I wrote in this post still applies: I am still on a roll, whatever we decide it could well take 2 years or more to sell our house so we still have to survive. Here is what I wrote: and what I have added and my additional thoughts since my last post is in bold.

I am on such a roll that I am hoping to inspire others to never give up; and more importantly stop ‘putting up’: with crap, with rude people, with unnecessary comments, with other’s putting you off, with things you don’t like……..

That still applies: I do want to inspire others. Even if we change what we are doing at least we have had the adventure. We have not stayed still we have took the chance. I know that many people (and one of Rich’s fears) will say how we failed. They need to be careful because it is highly likely that they will be the same people who want to play safe and not take that chance. That might be pointed out to them by me!

The same is true in that you should not put up with crap or rude people; or be put off. God knows the amount of time that Rich and I slogged our guts out to do a good job, because we wanted to and because we thought it would bring us more work in. But it never did with the exception of one lovely person (who I have only met recently) but that is another story. Rich and I have never been the type of people who just work for the money; we have to do a good job for our benefit, to feel good about what we have achieved. One of the things that will go into the negative column will be how many times that has been abused since moving out here.No more! 

We were in a bad place over the last few months, in fact I did not know at one point how we were going to pay our bills. But a series of unfortunate events made me stop and look and come out fighting. As a result: our bills are all up to date, we have a few months without worry; and I am confident that we will have more.

I am still confident of that, Rich’s website has been very successful; but…..

I said in my last post that I have been driven and I have. Driven……Part I Anyone who reads my other blog (the link is now at the top of each post) will know that when my back is up against the wall I will always come out fighting.

But in 2014 I had worked so hard doing things for other people (because as my counsellor told me: I was a ‘do’er’) that eventually my brain just burnt out; and as I have said, when first moved over here I was still ill. In addition I read the Tao, from which I got so much: don’t plan far ahead because what you think will happen never does (trust me that has been proved to me so many times.) Live in the here and now; always believe that what you truly need will come your way; all true, all something I still adhere to. But the version of the Tao that I read was a bit happy clappy (I must read Alan Watt’s take on it) and I tried to be kind to everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt; add that to being an empath and that was a mistake.

Now the old Moisy is back, the person who got promotion over 4 grades in as many years; the person who would wipe the floor with anyone who was unncessarily rude or unkind; I look back now at what I have been like and the behaviours that I have tolerated from people since moving out here and I have asked myself what the fuck I was doing!

So after setting up the three websites I have also had a major sale on my Etsy shop and now I am going to turn my attention to my book, which is what my other blog (see link at top of page) is about. I have been approached by a self publishing company to publish for a reasonable amount and it is my intention that this will take place this year. Like I said I am driven: I am driven by the people who read my other blog and say things to me like:

‘This post should probably be handed out to all of the new members of our unfortunate club.’ (WordPress)

‘Oh Wow! What an entry! So much feeling, insight, depth, honesty, self awareneess, courage, encouragement, just everything and I have felt almost all of it throughout this journey. Thank you for sharing! (Twitter)

And so many more……

Their comments have given me the confidence to know that my book needs to be out there. As I said in reply to the comment above I always intended it to be a book that people could use to support them, where people would highlight parts and re-read them when they were in a dark place.

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I recently watched a film about people who moved to France from England (Gemma Bovery) and a character said how people think that they will move to a rural area of France and everything will be just blissful; when in fact the reality is very different; it can be lonely (I am not lonely because as well as some close friends I have so many cyber friends now from this blog and my other blog.) and it can be boring. I will be honest that whilst I love where I live and the view it will not sustain me forever; and I now know that we will continue our adventure somewhere else. I am not afraid of that.

And as I have aleady posted in my previous blog this is likely to be the case. I am not bored as such: God knows there is enough to do with the cleaning and renovation alone. But I need to do more. I am  back and I am capable of so much more; and I need to be somewhere I can take that opportunity. 

It got me thinking and I looked up about depression in rural areas. It is not specific to France, but depression is often higher in rural areas; and France has the highest number of people taking anti-depressants in the world! (By population of course.) Iunderstand why: the taxes are high; the beauracracy is antiquated and needs to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming! We are currently being pursued for a housing tax on the house we rented for three months in 2015. We moved out in 2015 and yet they still try and get us to pay a tax on it for 2017!!! Despite numerous letters.

The countryside is wonderful, the birdsong second to none; but once you have seen it and experienced it for a number of years whilst it in itself will never be boring, all that comes with it: nothing to do, shops all shut down, bars not open past 9pm, sometimes you can go into to town and not see one person and that can be boring!  In our pretty little town there is only two restaurants/bars. Nearly all of the shops have shut down and the town in itself is dying, along with many others in France.

Even our dear friends believe this and were having a discussion in January about it; about how Ambrieres had a beautiful little bistro but it shut down, crippled by the taxes. So what is there in Ambrieres to visit? Once you have visited the two bars (one by the pretty bridge by the river but also on a busy road, one with it’s outside space in the car park! Really you could be anywhere you wouldn’t know you were in France!) what else is there to do? This is the case in so much of rural France. There is nothing there for the young people to go to so they don’t want to stay and move to the large cities. Thereby leaving the towns with mainly old people and families who do not tend to spend their money. It really is a very sad side of France and one I did not realise was as bad as it is until I moved here. This is not exclusive to Ambrieres most of the towns are like it, some don’t even have Boulangeries any more, and that is embedded in the constitution! 

Don’t get me wrong: when I first came out here I needed peace and quiet and tranquility. But now I am back to being me, whilst I don’t want to go headlong back into the fray I do need something more to occupy my mind, and I need to work. I miss really working. 

So back to being driven: This is why I will be finishing my book (I may get to travel). This is why I have set up the campsite, we can get to meet new people and make each day diferent; this is why I have advertised that Rich is available to work all over France, we get to see new horizons. Add to that at least once a month we are going to visit somewhere new, within a two hour drive; and take the Welshies with us. I live in France I need to see more of France, and whilst it may use some of our money who knows what the future holds, you shouldn’t sit and wait!!!

Whilst I am here I am know it is essential to go further afield and see some more of France, who knows what life will show me! 

I read recently that passion is about the love for the journey and being driven is about the destination. Normally I am all about the passion but right now I have to be driven for us to survive. So driven it is! 

Moisy

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Forging the way ahead

20 Wednesday Feb 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Gamping, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Time is running away with me: Having two blogs was not enough and I have now set up another one (to promote our fledgling business) and also two websites. I am proud of myself but, as will be a constant, I am now back to my old self and I am moving forward: I will not be beaten,

Firstly I would like to say a big thank you to a lady whose blog I follow I have shared below a post that she wrote that inspired me because it made me realise that we are not alone in finding this adventure hard; and if you want it to succeed that you have to do what you have to do to make that happen; and trust me we will!

https://ourfrenchoasis.com/2019/02/14/falling-in-love/

One of the things that I have struggled with is not being able to use my iniative to get us an income (although why I think that when I am still editing the book that links to my other blog that has just achieved 25,000 views and counting (not bad for four months!) I don’t know. But hey that is me: the income is not coming in so I don’t feel as if I am achieving!) But now I am back and firing on all cylinders I have decided to use what has always been under our nose: Our beautiful garden. There is a new craze ‘Gamping’ where people can camp out in other people’s gardens. I get it: there are no lines and lines of tents, no screaming kids, just you, your tent and tranquility. Well definately tranquility in our garden!

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I have often thought about setting up a glamping facility here, but the bureaucracy and red tape has always put me off: in fact I have always allowed things to put me off. Well not any more; I am going for it and in the last week I designed a website and put it out there. We are targeting a specific market: motorcyclists: because they are not too fussy and just want somewhere where there bikes are safe, good food can be provided and they can have a laugh; and also people who just want to get back to nature who can rent the whole pitch to themselves. Watch this space but currently the stats are good for views and I have not even started to fully promote it yet. You can take a look at

http://intentsbikingcampsite.strikingly.com/

I found it so easy (albeit time consuming) that I then set a website up for Rich’s business

https://rmpropertymanagementservices.strikingly.com

I have also completed forms that we should have completed eons ago, and did I say that making this better has now reached 25,000 views?!

But despite all this I have made every effort to get out into the garden. Spring has sprung and we have had warm balmy days (for February) of over eighteen degrees. Now we have decided on the ‘gamping’ we need to make sure all the logs are cleared and split and set out to dry (we haven’t even started ont he oak yet!). So we have been trying to clear the ditch of the pine, an d pull up all the sycamore and clear the brambles. There is tons to do but we will do it.

Believe it or not we are making headroads, I love it, although it is hard work, but Rich hates it; so I have to motivate him with a kick up the proverbial; because I mean it: we are making this work!

But the garden is coming back to life, and as always this time of year gives me hope. Lets see what happens now!

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Moisy

Spring’s being blown in on a Hooley…

10 Sunday Feb 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here on a Sunday afternoon there are 80km an hour winds blowing around our house. They blew in on Friday and then subsided only to come back with a vengeance last night. I took this picture of our two chairs on Friday evening and now one is on it’s back!

The reason I took the picture was because the chairs had been positioned there last Sunday, for us to enjoy the warm sunshine after an afternoon of working in the garden. (We’re winning the battle with the tree trunks and gradually clearing the brambles)

It really was such a beautiful day, and as we sat there with a panache (shandy, a drink of lemonade,beer and a dash of lime) in the warmth it reminded me again of how all things change, and things go from bad to good and back again. As Rich said ‘there is nothing like warm sunshine to make you feel that all is right with the world again.’

I wrote only recently of how I thought that spring was going to come early (Spring and winter) and I was right. Although The Hooley is blowing it is not cold, in fact we’re into double figures and the forecast is we will hit fourteen degrees by Saturday, with sun and clouds all week. That is warm for February over here, and it is good to not have to light the fire really early every day, and to be able to leave the expensive electric heaters off. (They tax you on your use here and then tax you on the tax!)

So, after the lovely warm Sunday, winter tried to take a hold again; and all week we have had rain, mizzle (a Cornish word meaning a mixture of rain and drizzle, which is like a mist that makes you really wet!) Despite it all we have persevered with the garden because we have plans for the summer (more of that to come later: I told you I’m back!) I’m back! But some of the days it was just too wet, so I have been busy setting up a website, and finally took hold of all of our paperwork, four years worth!! All is filed away in relevant folders, every plastic docket is labelled, and every folder has an index.

I have also driven Rich (it easy to lose your motivation when you are down): So he has set me up a temporary light for my other light in my kitchen (been without it 2 years, so I keep forgetting to put it on now!) started to sort out our large wooden barn structure so that it is more efficient for storage and to work in;

And also started to strip the lining paper off our stairwell (a pig of a job) and has painted our fireplace; turning ugly to beautiful:

I think I told you, I’m back!

Where the weather is concerned Spring is winning this battle, and she is coming early: the crocus are now abundant in our garden, the narcissi and daffodils have buds and even in this hooley the rain is lashing on the windows one minute and the sun is shining the next. Persephone is coming back early this year.

I did say to Rich that we should go for a walk, but he has just brought me a cup of tea and said ‘enjoy your walk and when you get back I ‘ll have a nice cup of tea waiting for you!’ Bastard!

So just like nature I have realised that you have to use all that you have to survive in life, and that my lesson was to understand that one of my greatest gifts is my strength and fortitude. I needed to get back the old Moisy, that did what she had to do, and sometimes fucked people off! I understand now, let’s see what this year brings.

I am off for a walk in my garden now, and will be settling down for a film and roast chicken dinner I think.

Have a good day.

Moisy

Spring and winter

01 Friday Feb 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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I have said for a few weeks that I thought we were going to have an early spring. Despite it being only January my clematis have buds on them (they are being cut back tomorrow) and the narcissi and daffodils were standing tall. In fact the winter had not really been that harsh so the crocus were few and far between but that may change now!

We have been working in the garden, clearing the logs from the trees that were cut down last year; cutting back the brambles,and generally making some final headway for our plans for the future in our garden.

At times the sun has been really warm, and I said to Rich that I thought we were going to get an early spring, and I still do, despite this happening this week..

There is nothing like a Welshie in the snow to make you smile..

Harley, ever the poser. Wiglet, ever the Wiglet!

But there is still a battle going on, today the temperature had risen from -2 to 8 degrees; the snow has melted here but not in other areas, but tonight we are due to go back to -2.

I don’t care what they are, as I sit in our new seating area, with a Welshie asleep beside me, and the fire burning I am counting my blessings: not least the amazing supportive friends and family I have, including the cyber community that I interact with.

So tomorrow we are back in the garden, it’s all part of the big plan now, we’re not going anywhere. As a dear reader said to me people would give their eye teeth to live where we do, problems an all. She was right, and I am thankful.

So, enjoy our winter garden, and the beautiful sunrise I caught this week; and look forward to seeing the spring photos soon.

Have a good weekend folks.

Moisy

I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now

30 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

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January sunrise In rural France 2019

My faithful followers of this blog may have noticed a distinct lack of blogging recently. There have been a number of reasons:

That I have been disenchanted with life (mainly people in it); that I have come to realise that I will have to lower my integrity towards people to survive, because I know that some people will take joy (sadly yes) if they read what I am going to write; and I have had to consider whether I was going to give them that joy; and mainly because I know that people love my positivity and I have felt very negative due to experiences since living here, that have now come to a head in the last couple of months.

I have come to realise that I have always tried to look at the positives to such a degree that I have not considered the negatives; and perhaps now I need to.

For the first time in a long time I wrote in my journal, and I reflected on our life here and realised that whilst I always try to look at the positive was I ignoring what life was showing me, by not acknowledging the negative as well? Our well ran dry, our water heater was not working properly, resulting in a huuuuuge bill, our roof blew off, our truck engine seized (despite being only 6 years old), work had been difficult and my! Have we had some humdinger employers!  And many other things, not least Tinky Tiny Tilly never coming home. (But if you look at the balance Wiglet the PIglet came to live with us instead.)

 On the Monday before my birthday I asked Rich if he wanted to stay here in France and he answered honestly that he didn’t know. So I set to writing my journal, and asked myself some honest questions. I know that people read this blog for its positivity but I always said I would say it warts and all.

As I lay there in bed with Rich snoring and asked myself if at that precise moment in time if I had won the lottery would I stay: The answer was no; but I have to emphasise it was at that precise moment in time.

So I started to consider other options in my head: moving to Spain, where it would be warmer and (my understanding is) the cost of living is cheaper. I considered moving back to England! The main problem with that was that we would want to live somewhere remote, and would never be able to afford to buy unless it was a shit hole! But I considered it, expressly Wales, where there is more countryside and less people. Then I considered Ireland; my dad was Irish, I have relatives there, the countryside is similar to France, and the properties are cheap. But most of all the benefit of Ireland was that they speak English.

I knew that to be realistic we really needed to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper because all of the things to consider would get lost in our heads.

But as always, even though I had lost my belief a little bit because it has been so hard, I believed that life would show me the way.

So on my birthday when I mentioned to a dear friend, who is there in the background, that I was considering our options they messaged me and immediately asked what’s up! They then pointed out to me how lucky we were and that they would move here in a heartbeat. They don’t know how much that simple comment meant.

As part of the numerous birthday wishes on FB a number of people said how I was living the dream; another friend excitedly posted that she was on the move, and when I responded she said that she was following my lead. My dear friend Mary has already ventured on a   big adventure and all of these people have been inspired by us; I felt a responsibility to them. And being a girl who always believes that life shows you the way I then started to wonder if this was life trying to make me think. Add to that our impromptu invite to the lovely neighbours, Rich’s FB site that I have set up for work resulting in him getting some work from it, I started to think that perhaps it was.

On Sunday we went for a windy walk down our lane and visited a farm where Marc’s uncle lived and loved until he died last year. It was sad, with the doors blowing in the wind no longer loved; but when I looked at how that man had lived it reminded me that I had come out here for the simple life, and this was it. What did I want?

 

On the walk Rich and I stopped and looked over the rolling hills and Rich looked at me and said ‘I can’t go back to England Mois, I cannot be surrounded by people.’ And I agreed, we had at least made a decision on something.

As the week has worn on we have come up with some other ideas to make some money that I am  now busy working on (let alone my blogs, and my book) and I am looking forward to what they may bring.

As I have always said life will show us the way.

We have both decided that we are not beaten yet; I mean, bloody hell, if you look at all of the obstacles that we have overcome to get to here we can do anything if we put our mind to it!

I have been honest in describing what happened to me re my mental health in England and in all honesty I think that I was still ill when I came over here. So I then became overwhelmed with the volumnious amount of paperwork that need to be completed; got sucked in by people who I thought were going to help me when in fact it was the opposite and I lost my mojo – which is that I take no crap from anyone.. But now I am back, I have lowered my level with regards to integrity and compassion, you get to piss me off three times and then your out! I can look after myself and others who are kind to me and I will not be beaten.

But part of this consideration is also that I have acknowledged that we are on an adventure – it was never set in stone – and if part of the adventure is to move to pastures new then life will show me that, and I need to not be afraid of it and stop beating myself up that I have to make it work here: to stop thinking that there are no other options. There are always options and right now I choose this one. Who wouldn’t?!

 

Then on Monday a darling friend (I have written of him before and the wonderful music he sends me) sent me this for my birthday; with a beautifully written card with it.

 

He also said to me on Messenger:

‘Remember Moi, we are the good ones, we too are the sensitive ones! We are on the bus, if the wheels fall off we just have to put them back on again!’

He is right, I am on the bus, my wheels on firmly back in place and let’s see where this baby takes us.

Watch this space folks let’s see what happens, and whatever it is I will Face Everything and Rise.

Moisy

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I have just used this quote in my other blog, but I love it so much and it sums up this post!

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s cloud’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Both sides now – Joni Mitchell 

I’m back!

17 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Friends, People, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

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Over the years I have shared with you the mental health problems that I experienced after working many years for the NHS – it is often said of that institution that it can chew people up and spit them out – or burn them out as it did in my case; that is true, and that is why you will not find me to be an overly excited supporter. Sadly I have seen it warts and all!

In the same way that I do not think that infidelity or heartbreak should be hidden under the carpet, I do not think that mental health should not be discussed either. But this post is slightly different this post is about how I have now come full circle and realised that the parts of me that have been suppressed are in fact exactly what I need to survive out here for now; perhaps that has been part of the lesson to know that the my strength is an assett!

Over the past few months I have come to realise that when I first came to live here I was still ill; it had been less than a year since I had first become ill, and looking back I had been optimistic to think that I was back to firing on all cylinders.

But add to that moving to a new country, the house not being what we thought (everything leaked, the cesspit, did not only not conform it was inside the cellar and leaked into the cellar, the heating did not work, you may want to see some of my old posts) and our son not talking to us it was a tough time.

Despite all of that we had the excitement of a new life to keep us going. It was all new and I accepted whatever life offered: I embraced the autumn and the winters, and as time went by I learned that, to quote the Tao, where there is bad there is good and where there is good there is bad. I understand fully that there cannot be one without the other. But…..

Over this year, and mainly towards the end, I have realised that I have turned into my mum! She was always a caring and giving lady, and followed the life rule of ‘don’t do unto others as you would not want done unto you’.  But, sadly, other people do not have the same adage: so you keep doing good things for them and they keep takng them!  I have found (as I have written about before) that the saying ‘people see your kindness as a weakness’ is a truer adage. This philosophy towards life, and the constant disappointments, eventually over time  made my mum ill, because people were unkind to her often and she could not understand why, when she was only kind to them.

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Now I have always been a kind of fiesty girl and when I was younger and my mum cried I used to tell her to just tell them to ‘fuck off!’ But I was young then, and over time and during  my career I developed a high level of empathy; but sadly too much and that is what made me ill. Slowly over the years I have taken on the attribute that my mum had, I became an empath; it was bad enough that I was taken advantage of in England but  since living here it has taken on a whole new level! Add to that the philosophy of the Tao: that we should see the good in everyone, and be kind to everyone that I tried to adhere to and on this adventure, and  I was on a hiding to nothing! With the exception of literally a handful of people, I have had to learn a lot of hard lessons. I have learnt that most (not all) people are also surviving and to do that they will treat you with suspicion if you are kind, and they will do what they need to do to survive; and if that means fucking you over: then so be it. God knows I have seen that often enough.

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I understand that it becomes a vicious circle: because everyone else has been stabbed in the back they become wary, and then they stab people in the back and so it goes on and on in an ever decreasing circles; I am not saying that I will automatically stab people in the back, I’m just not that sort of person, I am a more upfront person who says it to your face! So now, as I have said in previous posts, I am not going to lower my tolerance level and if my gut is screaming at me about someone I am not going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not anymore!

But you see the crux is that I am not an easy person to get to know. I am kind, anyone who reads my other blog and the comments that I share with others will know that I also try to be measured and I have learnt to see both sides of the story; but I can also be very direct, and not give a shit if I get pissed off. I have tried to suppress that part of my personality but now I don’t want to; now I am inspired, now I am going to do what we need to do to survive and if that means fucking people off then so be it. Bring it on! Where my life out here is concerned I need to stop. We need to survive and I need to go back to the Moisy that I used to be: If you put my back up against the wall I will come out fighting and I will not be beaten.

I have learnt a lot about the narcissist and how they target people with high levels of empathy and integrity; in fact I think that it is fair to say that I can probably spot one at a fifty mile radius now; and this time I will not be so quick to give them the benefit of the doubt if the alarm bells are ringing. Correction: There is no benefit of doubt with a narcissist you just have to detach yourself and walk away. Or shall I? Fuck it! Shall I have a game?

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As I write this post and reflect I have come to the decision that sadly I need to just be fiesty old me; those who really love me still will, those that don’t won’t! I forgot my own lesson of the mini bus of life! So I have stopped calling people to see if they are okay, I am back on my mini bus with the right people, and given that there is fourteen seats, six of them are empty – remembering my philosophy that is about right! The mini bus of life

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So as I told my sister of yet another horror story of people we had encountered the other day I found fiesty old me talking to her; I judged them (correctly, but something that the Tao  does not advocate): I knew that they were trying to get something for nothing because they thought we would do anything for the money. they were wrong! Not anymore! They got told no. Or as I said to my sister they can fuck off!!

But really what I did was use all the skills I have learnt over the years when considering them: The tell tale signs, from their behaviour, that all was not well in their mind, or with the family set up (they tried to hard to appear happy!) ; the boastfullness of their character; the fact that they wanted to tell me many stories of what they had acheived, and what they had got, and I could see it. Was it judging? Maybe. But for me it was listening to the warning signs and not giving people the benefit of the doubt any more.

What has this got to do with being on an adventure? Perhaps part of this type of adventure is finding yourself again, and this time using it!

As my sister said ‘Thenk God! The Bitch is back!’

Yes she is; it has only taken five years, and she feels good!

Moisy

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Counting My Blessings: Day 9

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Enter a This picture is of one of the first sunsets that we were inspired by when we first came to live here in 2015. ……caption

As I have been writing this series of posts under the theme of ;Counting My Blessings; I have realised that when looking at the really simple things I have way more than ten things to write about! Isn’t that in itself a blessing?

So on this first day of the new year I have decided to keep it really simple, and let nature lead the way: My blessing today is my surroundings, but especially the sunrises and sunsets that we experience living here in the vast French rural countryside.

What better way to bring in the new year, a time that symbolises endings and beginnings, than by sharing with you the endings and beginnings that nature shows us every day, something that we take for granted:Every day! Always expecting the next day to come, and perhaps thinking that we will ‘Stop and Stare’ then!

This adventure has vividly taught me how nothing can be taken for granted; not people, not work, not income; it has reminded me constantly what the Tao reminds me of: that the only moment is now, don’t live your life for what you think is coming, only to find that it does not come.

We live our lives looking forward: To our holidays, to Christmas, to our anniversary, to our birthdays, to when we will have more money, always, always looking forward, and never taking time to just enjoy the here and now.

I have heard a lot of people (especially since moving over here when French winters can be grey and harsh, and everyone just knuckles down and hibernates) say how they hate the winter. I have written often before about enjoying the here and now (see link below) I have said how I would commit to going out in all weathers, and then not done it. But this time I am going to.

Winter Solstice, Alban Arthur, Christmas..Joy

Over the past few months I have been reminded of how things come and go; evolve and change; and although I have always felt a sadness when people leave to go home, or the summer comes to an end, or the old year passes, I realise now that the sadness was because deep down I knew that those things can never be captured again. They are but a moment and then they are gone.

This picture is from three years ago, whilst looking after a friends house. I now no longer see them and they have sold the house, highlighting how this moment was never going to be repeated!

Sadly I know of  people who have died recently; were here one moment, gone the next, some tragically and unexpectedly; one day they saw their last sunrise, and last sunset and probably never even noticed them; how often do we ever notice the blessing of the sky, as it floats by?

As I have said in my mini bus of life theory, friendships change, and sometimes we let people back into our lives, but sometimes we have to let them go, and realise that the memories are enough.

I have come to realise recently that in some cases we have to consider whether we should leave them at their stop because it is us that have changed. You can read more on the link below..

The mini bus of life

So this year I am going to go out more and see France in the winter, starting with today: We are off, to a medieval city to see it in winter time, it will show us a new perspective on something old, and we could all do with that at times.

Sadly I am also going to let some of my integrity go, and get my empathy under control (I must make a little mantra to remind myselfm because it is not something that comes natuarally to me!)

I am going to enjoy what life shows me, and go back to letting her show me the way, because actually she knows best.

I urge you all to go out today and watch the sunset, wherever you are, treasure that moment, you will never get it back again, you are given a small blessing every day, no matter where you are, or your circumstances, just take what is given you.

Please share if this series has inspired  you and let’s inspire others to count their blessings.

Moisy

 

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Me socks ‘r on!!

21 Wednesday Nov 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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We’ve been blessed with glorious weather this autumn, as you know from previous posts. We haven’t been lighting the fire until the evening, and no need for the other expensive electric heaters. They have a double tax on electric out here in France, they tax you and then tax you on the tax!

But winter is creeping in now, it has crept up the valley and across the fields and under the fence into the garden..

It was freezing yesterday with a bitter Easterly Wind, and flurries if snow. The chooks tucked themselves up in their henhouse (there not moving out now, best they stay with us after last Friday) see my post If I bite my tongue too long and I even gave them a fat ball.

This morning we woke up to a freezing fog and the valley was shrouded.

Living in a stone house is stunning, but they have no foundations and once they get cold they impersonate a fridge! If you don’t warm them up early then you have to put everything on to warm them up later.

I was out today – hence the socks!

But I am grateful for what I’ve got, not least the ability to reflect!

To my American readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving, whatever your circumstances be thankful for the small things.

For those to whom Thanksgiving is not of their ilk for any reason – be grateful.

Have a reflective holiday folks, keep it mellow.

Moisy