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Category Archives: Change is a coming

Changes are coming…How living here has taught me so much

20 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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This was the view that greeted us when we looked through our old and very tatty kitchen window, the old oil tank for the central heating system. We never used the system, firstly because it was so old and dilapidated it didn’t work, and secondly because there was no point in having it repaired because we didn’t have the four thousand euros for the oil every year!

People said to us that we should go back to the Notaire (think French Solicitor ) and lodge a complaint against the farmer who had sold us the house, because he had said it was a working system; this would be the same farmer that owns all the fields around us and could easily make life difficult for us, and we decided that what was the point in arguing over a heating system we were never going to use. It got me thinking….

I have always been the kind of girl that came out fighting, nothing would beat me, because I wouldn’t let it. I am not going to say that my strength did not enable me to come through some of the most difficult times of my life, mostly when I felt abandoned and alone, and I would not have survived without my fighting instinct then; as M Scott Peck explains in ‘The Road Less Travelled’ people with strong personalities are ‘blessed’, but, and there is a but, it is like having the equivalent of ten strong horses in your back yard and trying to control them. Living here has enabled me to do that.

It has given me space, space from people, space from life, with nature all around me. It has given me time to re the Tao Te Ching, and now Deepak Chopra, and it has given me time to contemplate what I have read and understand it. I understand that to come out fighting may get you what you want, but exhausts you in the process; and I understand that you can achieve the same result most times without fighting at all; or you may even decide that you just don’t care enough.

So back to the oil tank, that was taking up a lot of room in our chemin, where we could put another log store. Now talk about life showing you the way, earlier in the week two scrap metal merchants arrived unexpectedly and asked if we had anything they could take; Rich seized the opportunity and offered them the very heavy, and impossible to move oil tank. So out came a huge chain from their big truck and it was tied around the tank, and they pulled, and they pulled, and the tank would not budge! They all decided it was best to leave it when up came the farmer, the farmer who sold us the house, in his gigantic tractor; he jumped down spoke to Rich and without any further discussion lifted the oil tank out of it’s resting place and plonked it onto their truck. Simples!

This is my view from my dilapidated window now

It proves my point, better to be friends than enemies, you don’t always have to do battle; would the farmer have helped us if we had fought him about something that did not matter? I think not.

Choose your battles wisely, and even then go away and think about them.

Look out for more blogs, more changes are on their way….

Moisy

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To always have hope – Feels like home

16 Sunday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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When we moved here, three years ago last month. our pampas grass was small and not growing well.

It was squashed between numerous pine tress that overshadowed it depriving the poor pampas grass of any light; add to that Harley would lay in it as if it was a little nest and it did not stand much chance. Despite this it continued to live, but no grasses would appear in September and stand tall and majestic with their fronds blowing in the wind.

I love pampas grasses. I always wanted it to grow, lived in hope that one day it would have huge grasses, the size of paddles, blowing in the breeze and framing our beautiful view. Well this year we choppped down most of the trees – we had to some were dead, some posed a risk to the electricity cables – and the pampas finally got the light that it needed.

‘It won’t grow’ said Rich when we talked about it one night, ‘Harley still lies in it and squashes it!’

But I held on to hope. I had started to get the vibe that this old French farmhouse, and it’s ghosts of the past two hundred years, had finally accepted ‘Les Anglais’ and realised that we loved the house as much as they had. Being French they knew that, although we had not had much money, we would do our best to look after it; and, suddenly, things started to go our way: The trees were chopped down, the front door was replaced, the gate was replaced, the water connected, we now have French vehicles, our roof will be done before winter. We have the support and help from good friends, some considered as family, and help from those who care, and as the year went on the pampas grass grew and grew.

So here we are now and this is our pampas grass

Things are changing …..

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin’.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin’

Bob Dylan

Have a good weekend folks never give up, always have hope

Moisy

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Changes are coming: The crap we keep

10 Monday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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So here I am at 18.30, my time ,and I started to write this blog at 14.30!! That is what it seems to be at the moment busy, busy, busy…

As you know from my previous posts, with the titles including the words changes are coming, we had water fitted last week, took the pool down, met the bank manager, and decided it was time to clear out our barn.

That is one of the things when you embark on a major life change such as this, the crap you bring with you! Heed my warnings all you adventurers, you may have thought that you had got rid of all the crap you did not needm but guess what you haven’t!

Then three years later, when you decide that perhaps you should go through those boxes of stuff that you thought were so essential you paid a fortune in storage for them, and an even bigger fortune in moving costs; the same stuff that you then leave in your barn for three years (obviously because it was that essential!) only to go through it one day and say ‘What the fuck did we bring that over to France for?!

So as we climbed over the crap, (treasured possessions as once was) we realised that we had a task on our hands.

 

 

As I have said before when we moved from England we were on first name terms with the little old ladies at the cancer charity shop (sorry I don’t give cancer a capital c anymore, it doesn’t deserve it!); so much so they all shouted ‘Rich’ when he went in with even more stuff that we gave away (like an episode of ‘Cheers’ only in Herne Bay in England!)

When we moved we thought we had been mercenary, we thought we had been hard, only to discover during this task, four boxes of our son’s stuff that we could not throw away ‘because he might need it one day.’ He needs it so much that he doesn’t even know it is here. Then there was the box with chipped plates, one random saucer that had not cup to go with it, and (I kid you not) glass jars that I used to put candles in!!

There were the broken lamp shades (it is safe to say not one surived the move), broken lamps, a plastic chair (which was weird because we have never owned plastic garden chairs), old cards ( I swore I threw them all away) old postcards, T.shirts, peices of random paper and even open envelopes!! There is no room for sentimentality when you do something like this, you have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

In addition a lot of the things we had brought over with us were reminders of people who stopped being in contact when we made this move; perhaps they decided that we were a bit too ‘out there’ for them, or that we made them feel as if they may be boring. (Yep, there is an irony there!) But let us not forget I was inadvertently told recently by someone that I was ‘full of hot air.’ At least I think it was inadvertent,other than that they were just being fucking rude!! But only if I gave a crap! (Oops there goes my hot air again! Better to be that than boring!)

So we went through everything (in one half only and it took two days) and let it all go (again)

 

We also discovered that other people had used our barn as a dumping ground and we had so many empty cardboard boxes (‘for Moira’s etsy’ they used to say) some with no lids and some with shit that other people had dumped in it!! Thanks one and all, and just to get it out there, I don’t want any more boxes. If I want them I will get them, I’m that sort of gal!!

But we did find our memory box, and, because we have changed we let some of that go. You cannot hold onto the past; I let my mum’s top go. I thought that I had let it go when we moved over here, I kept it at first, after she had died, because it smelled of her, it was her favourite top and she had worn it often;  I had moved it with me three times, because I thought it kept my mum with me but when we made our move over here I clearly remember saying ‘I need to let this go’; but I must have decided that, at a time I needed moral support, then I needed to bring it with me one more time. My mum died twenty one years ago, that top is not her, her spirit is free, not in a top from Marks and Spencers! So I have, now, let it go.

We did keep George, the wooden snake that Tom picked on our first holiday together as a family to Menorca; and Srog, his frog that I bought him from London Zoo, and there was some stuff we put back and said ‘Perhaps next time we go through this we will let this go then..’ We know that we are changing all the time you see.

There is stuff that needs to be researched, as I believe it has a value now, and it would be good to pass that money onto Tom, because most of the things are his after all, like is train set, and his action men still in their packaging.

I am going to sell Tom’s beautiful cherrywood cot/bed (yes can you believe I  moved his cot over here, because my mum bought it for me); but I am letting it go. I have learnt so much over the past three years, and one of them is that material things are not necessary to keep the memories. That is such a beautiful cot that I would rather a family who needed it, had it to cherish.

On Saturday we loaded up our new van and took half of the stuff to the dechetterie (the dump) with the other half to go on Wednesday. Most of the cardboard boxes are going on the bonfire (quick all those who say you shouldn’t have fires calle the Marie!) and our barn is tidy with boxes in there (also waiting to be burnt) and we now have less than half of what was there and a tidy organised room.

 

Now all Rich has to do is sort out this lot on the other side!!

 

You might have guessed, still lots of work to be done.

But most importantly my post is to say, let go, let go, let go, life is too short, let go of the crap and good will come your way.

Moisy

The water is flowing, and we are thankful for change

05 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good life

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So the water men arrived early, in fact they were digging up the field before the sun had fully risen over the horizon..

It is fair to say that as soon as they arrived they got stuck in, and did not stop. They had to dig a huge trench from the field opposite our house come under the road and up by our ditch (the one we had to climb into in our pyjamas when the naughty Welshies were chasing hedgehogs! See ‘The hedgehogs, the Welshies, the ditch and pyjamas)

But the problem was the huge pine tree that had been felled in February was still laying in the ditch, and it is so big our neighbour is going to have to lift it out for us with his tractor! (That is the problem when they knock on your door the day before to say ‘We’re coming tomorrow to do this huge job, see you before eight!’)

‘Oh no!’ We thought, but the lovely French man called us over and asked if it was okay for him to push the tree over towards our fence with his big digger. ‘Go for it!’ We said, so he did and now our life is easier because all of the overgrown weeds have been dug up, and the branches have been broken off. Result! We thought.

Nothing fazes the French!

In no time at all we had a huge hole in front of the house, and could not get out of the gate easily, our fence by the chemin was up and it was established that our wall would have to be drilled; that is when they called hubby over and told him he would have to do it (probably because of liability) handed him a huge drill, with an even bigger drill bit attached, and sent him on his way. God knows what they would have done if I was here on my own!!

We did not believe, at one point, that they would get such a big job done in a day, but they did and left before six, just in time for aperitifs.

Despite previous information, things I had asked for, and told I would have to fill in copious amounts of paperwork for, were just provided. I wrote a cheque and they drove off without it!

But, that is France as I said before!

So we have mains water, we have new gates, what’s coming next? Life will show us the way!

Moisy

Times they are a changing.. We’re getting mains water!!

04 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The background story, The continuing adventure

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One of the most frustrating things about living in France is the beauracracy – or lack of organised thinking. You go somewhere for advice and one person tells you one thing, so you do that, send it all in, and then another person tells you that is not what they need at all and, in fact, they need a hundred and one other things!!

I know that if all goes ahead as planned the next year is going to be filled with this frustrating level of pig headedness, people who want to be more important than they are, helpful people, and doing the same things over and over again. I have resigned myself to it and just say to myself now ‘This is France!’

So after the gate last week, we are finally having mains water connected to our house. They have to pick the pipe up from the middle of the field opposite and it would be an understatement if I told you that we will not be getting much change from a lot of money. But at least then our pipes will not freeze, as they did last winter when we went without water for four days when the ‘Beast from the East’ arrived; and in the summer our water from our taps will be cold and we will be able to drink it. This summer it was red hot until the water that was in the pipe laying on top of the land had been flushed through!

For those who have only just joined my blog I wrote last year of how our well had run dry and we had no water for eleven days in the middle of the hot summer. It was only thanks to the kindness of our neighbour, who allowed a pipe to be connected to his water and go across his land, that we have had water at all. The blog was called ‘Une leçon de vie atout votre eau’ it means a lesson in life, treasure your water; and trust me I do!

But it is one of many lessons that Rich and I have learnt, that you don’t need things immediatly, you can survive, as we have with only a tarpaulin on our roof for three years – yes the water has run in, poured in sometimes, but we have not died. It is a true saying: ‘What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger’ (has to be said in an Essex accent! I am an Essex girl after all!!)

Rich and I laughed when we showered each other using our watering can- especially when I had to climb a step ladder to get above Rich, me a little five foot four inches, Rich a tall six foot one inch! And now I don’t waste water. I know some petty people we have known have said that we are just surviving, well give me survival any day if you are happy when you are doing it. A lot of people who don’t have to ‘survive’ often seem as miserable as sin to me!

So yesterday as  I was  corresponding with the water company about additional work we required, as is the way in France, the lady I was corresponding with was telling me I needed to this and that, and make a payment before the work could be done. Then there was a ring at the doorbell and a man from the water company stood there and said that they can do the water today including the additional work! I am just going with the flow, he said I can just pay him when they get here! Who knows what we will end up with.

Water I hope….

C’est la vie!!

Watch this space

Moisy

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Embrace the moment

25 Saturday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Summer soft

Wakes you up with a kiss to start the morning off

In the midst of herself playing Santa Claus

She brings gifts through her breeze

Morning rain

Gently plays her rhythms on your window pane

Giving you no clue of when she plans to change

To bring rain or sunshine

And so you wait to see what she’ll do

Is it sun or rain for you

But it breaks your heart in two

When you find it’s October

And she’s gone

And she’s gone

Summer’s gone

Taking with her summer’s play

Summer Soft written and performed by Stevie Wonder . From the album ‘Songs in the key of life’

Do you think that nature changes the weather so quickly and suddenly as a reminder to us all to ‘live for the moment?’ It is as if she is saying ‘Look how hot it was yesterday, but today you need a jumper! Did you enjoy the sun that I sent you? Because now it is too late…..’

Here I am, sitting in my bed, drinking tea (yep I am English after all) and the temperature has dropped to fourteen degrees, we are promised that tonight it will be six degrees and ‘chilly’.But only three weeks ago it was sizzling hot, we were returning from our sojourn in the Vendee and looking forward to an evening in the pool; and it made me wonder is this natures way of reminding us to not take anything for granted because before you know it everything will change?

As the wonderful poet Robert Frost wrote…

Nature’s first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

Living here the changes to,seasons are very clearly defined, perhaps because you are embraced by nature, she is, quite literally all around you; from the leaves on the trees dropping all around us, to the crab apples that are falling from our tree, sadly for the last time as she must go because of things new; and whilst there will still be hot days ahead the colder evenings will remind us to make the most of them.

So what will you do today?

“Sit still and embrace the moment, that’s what I say!’

Have a good weekend folks.

Moisy

Mists, mellowness, and memories…

22 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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I was inspired to write this post because when we woke this morning, after a really hot, close night, this was the view that greeted us. The whole of the valley and the fields in front of our house were shrouded in mist, autumn is letting us know that she is on her way.

It made me smile because it was as if a full stop was being put behind the summer of fun and nature was saying that times they are a changing (to quote Bob Dylan!) We cannot hold on to anything forever and the sooner we accept that the easier out lives will become; because no matter how tight we hold on life will take it from us in the end; we have to go with the flow.

As I wandered around the garden signs of autumn were everywhere, and it all seemed really poignant as I was here on my own today. There was the pool discarded and unloved (although I hope we get to have another dip on the hot autumn days)

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The swingseat, on the leaning cherry sad and forlorn, with the cherry appearing to weep tears with it’s leaves..

 

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And discarded dog toys and the beloved mop head, now laying sad and unloved…

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The hydrangeas and clematis are having a last hurrah as the mists rejuvinate them; and they stand as a reminder that life goes on, embrace it……

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I have two sad puppies who have sulked all day because their naughty little compadre is not here with them, and some very relieved cats!

But here is to the future, thank you all for your excitement at what is to come, here is to the new season. Let’s embrace these times ‘of mists and mellow fruitfulness’……

 

Moisy

 

 

The Long Hot Summer just passed us by…..

21 Tuesday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, People, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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Almost ten weeks ago (all but two days) Karen and Dylly Dyls arrived for the summer. It has been a spur of the moment decision made after Karen returned to England in April and decided that she did not want to be surrounded by buildings and people, with roofs on the skyline, any more; she decided that she needed space, and the plan was hatched for her to come to France for the summer and see what life showed her.

Because, as we know, life will always show you the way – if  you listen!

And what a summer we have had: from house hunting all over the Pays de Loire, seeing sad lonely houses to grand houses with neighbours that looked as if they should be playing a banjo and sitting on a porch! The house was stunning, neighbours were creepy!

There were houses near stunning villages, with river walks nearbye, and beautiful secret gardens, and Karen came close to making an offer, but none offered this view…..

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Over the months we have all had people visit us to stay; and lessons have been taught; in that sometimes you cannot go back, where people you knew are concerned, and you realise that your life has changed you too much and you no longer have anything in common; or in some cases where people seem to think that you are a hotel, and their tour guide, chief cook and bottle washer, as well as chauffer! (It has to be said, that is the reality of taking an adventure such as this, and I really don’t know why!)

It was definitely a learning curve for Karen, she hasn’t even bought a property here yet, but it taught her what she wants and also how important it is sometimes to just say ‘No!’

We have seen each other every day during this summer of sport what with the World Cup, where Karen and I became football pundits, mainly commenting on if they had recent changes to their hair, or in one case how the England goalie looked better in green rather than yellow!  You should have seen the look on Rich’s face! We took it as an omen when France won, an omen that we were all in the right place and making the right plans.

We have had fields of gold, hay bales of orange and gold, blood red moons, ghostly moons and starry starry nights….

There has been fun in the Swimming pool, with us laying on lilo’s on hot sunny days (too hot sometimes), and I will always have memories of looking up at the blue sky and saying to Karen, “who would have thought thirty five years ago that we would be doing this now! In my garden!”

The dogs have loved the pool, not least our darling Harley, and after nearly losing him last year it was a blessing to see him barking at the side of the pool for  you to splash him. They have been on blow up aeroplanes, dunked and Dylan learnt to swim, as you can see from thr photo it wore her out!

We have had owls hooting at night, bats flying over our heads in the late evening and swallows teaching their young to fly and catch the late afternoon insects. Let us not forget the pink moths, dreaded bitey flies and the toads, one of whom scared the life out of Karen after coming into the kitchen and hiding under a bag

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We have visited Churches, cathedrals, castles, medievil towns and waterfalls, all too numerous to mention.

Aperitifs have been enjoyed, with our French friends,; we have had BBQ’s with friends, liquer coffees, beer, and lots and lots of red wine.

Birthdays have been celebrated…

After Jen joined us we had a holiday within a holiday, and it gave us a reminder of just who your good friends are, those who come along with you for the ride and join in. It helps you know that they are the ones that you need on your mini bus of life…..

Of course we have had the Welshies, zoomies, toys, swimming in the pools, blowing bubbles for them, and sadly sometimes some fights (but they are terriers and they love each other too.)

Right now Wiglet is laying beside me lost, she has wandered round the garden looking for her baby, and huffed and puffed because she knows that this time Auntie Karen and Dylan won’t be back down the road today.

I have not even began on the topic of the vintage furniture, vide greniers, shoe shopping and having to buy a new car – I cannot tell you how pleased I am to finally have a French registered car, we are starting to feel, finally, that we are engaging with the country in which we live, and the country that we love.

But more than anything this summer we have laughed every single day, at each other, with each other, about what we have seen, and we have never judged each other. We have just accepted each other for who we are.

We knew that this summer would be a catalyst for Karen, as it turned out it has been a catalyst for all of us, and if all the plans come together a new adventure will commence. Adventures in adventures, isn’t that what life is all about?

So yes I have cried today, we all have. Tomorrow will be weird because she will not he whizzing down the road with the Dylly monster in the car with her. I know and understand that endings are new beginnings and you have to let go for new adventures to start; but I also know that the next adventure won’t be the same (we may not have old Molly kitten with us, none of our futures are guaranteed). So it us okay to feel that poignancy when something comes to an end.

There is one thing of which I am certain though … I know we are going to have one hell of a ride and it all started with the summer of 2018…….

To good friends, and good times………

Moisy

The last weekend of the mad summer

17 Friday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Friends, My family and other furry creatures, People, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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Farewell my summer love, Farewell

And so it has come to the last weekend before Dyls and Karen go back to England, I won’t say home…….

So here we sit, with homemade mojitos, that still need perfecting, and my pink gin and lemonade, a big shout out to my dear friend Russell, and the detriments on the table of all the things that Dylan, the naughty dog, has bought out to the garden ; and we are sad, but also excited about what the future may hold.

The weather is reflecting the end of our summer and when we got up this morning there was an autumnal nip in the air; Persephone will be leaving soon I feel.

So here is to our last weekend, a bbq with friends, a vide grenier, meetings over roast dinner and plans for the future.

I am sad…..

Moisy

Farewells

15 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Friends, People, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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‘Nobody on the road,

nobody on the beach

I feel it in the air

The summers out of reach…’

Don Henly..

A week ago a dear friend bought me these flowers from his garden. We had invited him and Matt our young French friend around for a bbq, we wanted them to meet Jenny and Karen and despite the thunderstorm that hit just as we were serving the food a wonderful evening was had by all.

But as with anything in life everything must change, and our holiday has been and gone, Jenny has flown back to England and my flowers have died.

To finish the last few days of Jenny’s holiday and to celebrate Karen’s birthday we visited the vide grenier at Evron on Sunday, and found it’s beautiful medieval church and monastery and a small little bar in the square, a rare thing in rural France to find a French bar open! We were so excited we sat there for a couple of hours drinking in the atmosphere, and ruby beer of course!

As you can see we had a typical French time, beer and baguette!

We meandered our way home and sat in the garden star gazing, and drinking wine (no! I hear you cry!) and had a supper of minted lamb chops, chips, peas and tomatoes …….mmmmmmmmm.

For Jen’s final day we took her to Fourgeries, I did say recently we have decided we should visit more often….. we are looking forward now to visiting this breathtaking city in all seasons, with the different colours that they bring to the old French buildings.

As with rural France in August everything shuts for the vacances, so our plans to eat were scuppered and I rustled up a mean spaghetti bolognaise and garlic bread with some help from the girls when we got back home.

And then that was it! After all the weeks of building up Jen was going back home; and we are left with the memories of the last ten days, with the laughter echoing around the garden. It really has been brilliant….

It is as if the weather knows that our mad, crazy, wonderful days of summer are coming to an end; the sun is not showing it’s face until the evening, and, although it is warm it feels kinda sad. Only six days to go and Karen will be on her way, where has that time gone?

But I know that, sad as I am, we have to let go to make way for new things, nothing can stay the same; and as if to remind me, my husband bought me some new flowers for our wedding anniversary yesterday, just as I let go of the old the new came in the door.

There is lots to tell you soon…… and there will be lots of change, so keep reading folks, things are starting to get busy…..

Moisy