I go back to work tomorrow. I will probably be away from home again for three weeks. But I am enjoying my job, not just the money it brings, but the freedom, and also that it gives me back a sense of identity.
For the first two weeks the temperatures were over thirty degrees here. So we jinxed it: we put the pool up, and five days later it started to rain and has rained pretty much every day here since! Not just rained, but poured. Our ground is saturated ai think if we got the lawn mower out it would sink!
But on one of the hot, sun dodging, days RD and I were sitting in the garden chatting and I could see him just smiling at me. When I asked him why he said it had been a long while since he had seen me so animated about something. I realised he was right. I have missed working, I have missed interacting with other people, I have missed having responsibility. Since starting my job I have deliberately tried to stay out of any politics, and the beauty of this jib is that I have responsibility only for myself to do a good job, and nobody else. I like that.
What all this made me realise was just how much I enjoy working, I enjoy meeting people, and I don’t want to go back to not having that. Ireland will also offer me more work opportunities, (again it can’t offer me any less than here) and I can continue in my current role if I want to. Those are decisions to be made at a later date.
But it also made me think about just how much RD misses that. He doesn’t miss working for most of the people here, but he does miss camaraderie and ‘the crack.’ As winter draws in and I am not here it will miss that more, although he puts on a brave face and insists he won’t.
I have always said I will be honest and now is the time to say that although we all think we want out of the ‘rat race’ do we? Or do we want to dip a toe in every now and then?
We have achieved a lot, sorted out furniture in many rooms, ready for sale, and I have finally sorted right through our filing and admin. Didn’t quite achieve getting all of the ironing done though.
I have enjoyed by five weeks at home, but now I am getting bored with what we have here and I am ready to go back. I will miss my RD and my puppies and kittens, that is the hardest thing. But once I am there I will crack on.
I am back on Boaty McBoatface tomorrow, hopefully I won’t have to climb down the ladder!
Rosie
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When I first came home I said to RD how we live in this house rent free. We have stuck to our learnings about not getting any debt for windows, or cesspits, or anything that we don’t have the money to pay for. There have been times on this adventure that we have thought ‘Thank God we didn’t get any debt!’
There were times we were tempted. The French Government has a scheme for new windows and doors where you can obtain loans at a very low interest rate. But they are still loans, and they still tie you and trap you and stop you having options for the future. We stuck to our guns and so we live in this house, that is fully paid for, rent free.
But the housing market across the world has been affected by the pandemic and the valuations came in at less than we hoped. We wouldn’t lose any of our initial outlay, but we would not recoup what we have paid for water, and a new roof, new doors, new gates, and a soon to be new barn roof.
But we also know that we live in the Parc Normandie, and have rolling hills in front of us and countryside surrounding us. We also live on a dead end road, no through traffic just quiet, with neighbours near enough to support us, but far enough to have our space. We know what this house offers so it will work out, the things we have money cannot buy, and they cannot be added.
But we were pragmatic and thought well if we moved to Ireland we would have to rent and pay out money we don’t pay out now. I now have a job, let’s just enjoy France for a year and see where life takes us. We have a lot to do before it goes up for sale next month.
However there is another way to look at it. There is no work here for RD, and there will be some work in Ireland, mainly based on the fact that he speaks the language. Let’s put it this way: There won’t be any less! If RD earns the money that the rent would cost then we won’t be any worse off than we are now. Mmmmmmm a dilemma.
So we have decided to put the house up for sale, let life show us the way, and when it does we will make the decision on when to move.
We’re not stressed. We know that what will be will be.
Rosie
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Sunset over our garden, setting on our adventure in France
I have been meaning to write some blogs for all of last week. It is likely that I will be going back to work soon and I want a series that will post if the internet is not available to me. But life took over (as it always does). But here goes……
As I said in my previous post Recouping….and making plans we are still decided to leave France. Change, especially a change so great is still not easy, despite having the courage to do it once before. But one of the main things we have learned from this adventure is that ‘life does show you the way.’
Since living here I/we have read the Tao, and now understand some of the anomaly of life. This adventure has given us the space and the necessity to look at life in a different way, which enabled us to understand the teachings of the Tao in that life is like water: You cannot hold on to it and control it no matter how much you think you can. But if you go with the flow of what life shows you then you can become strong, then you can achieve anything, providing it is what you need, not what you think you need.
So with that in mind we were talking about moving to Ireland. The UK is not for us, with it’s politics, anger and lack of equality. It’s funny how now I can feel that underlying greed in some places I go. So it’s not an option. As we talked I asked RD if he really wanted to give up this house, our views and the tranquility it provided. If he really wanted to leave France. The little demon of doubt kicked in and he said he didn’t know. It showed me that for me the way was now clear, but for RD that fear of change was still there.
The next day I sat us in the morning sunshine with a cup of tea and two pads and pens. On each pad I had made two columns which I had headed ‘Love’ and ‘Hate’.
Now I know that hate is a strong word to use, but that is how I feel about some of this adventure now, not so much the actual thing itself, but impact from the actual thing; and I knew that RD felt the same. So I asked him to write, without thinking, what immediately came into his head for each column and I would do the same, and we would then compare the columns. I also knew that it would help to clear the mind, from writing my journal all these years I know that writing it down takes doubts voice, the little chatty one in your brain, away.
The objective was to then compare what we had written to enable us to see if we were on the same page, and to also enable us to compare what we did and didn’t want to take forward in our new life.
We both wrote that we ‘hate’ the bureaucracy, that we both hate the fact that we cannot simply speak the language (trust me I have tried but it drives you nuts sometimes). Interestingly (or not) we both put the ex-pats in this area as top of the list. We both put that we disliked the intensely hot weather, which has got hotter in the five years since we lived here due to global warming. We added the banks, and the corruption that goes hand in hand with them, that everything just shuts down, nothing stays open into the evening, or Sundays, or bank holidays.
We fell in love with France for the tranquility and laid back way of life. We still love that, but only in small doses, not for all of our life.
So I suppose you could say that we have learned a lot about what we actually want from life from doing this adventure!
Moving on to the ‘Love’ list without a doubt we both love the view.
The view of the rolling hills of the valley. It’s what we see every day from our window
We also love the weather. weirdly enough, when it is not too hot. We love the definition of the seasons, and of course we love our wonderful French friends and neighbours.
We love the peace and tranquility. But we have learned as our life has carved out it’s way for us that for us that is not enough.
We want to be able to work, preferably in the same country and coming home each night! We want to be able to walk into a shop and just talk to someone, or pick up the phone and resolve a problem. If you saw the mountain of paperwork I am about to work through over the next two days you would understand.
It was an eye-opening exercise, especially for RD, as he could then clearly see what he did and did not want from the future. In fact he listened to my list and started to say ‘why didn’t I think of that?’ All the time adding some of what I had written to his list.
But most of all it enabled us to see that all of the important things to us from the ‘Love’ list are available to us in Ireland: as are most of the things on the hate list overcome if we move to Ireland. Views, tranquility, peace, easy going people, being able to speak the language, not having to deal with ex-pats. It wouldn’t get too hot in the summer either (although an ex-pat who has never been to Ireland did tell me how it rains ALL the time! Who am I ,whose father was Irish and has visited many times, to argue?!)
Yes some things will be more expensive, but where there is good there is always bad, as the Tao says: There has to be.
RD’s column, and mine can be seen in their entirety below. You never know it may help some people clear their minds. Trust me it works.
Rosie’s List RD’s list
So last week we had three estate agents come round to value the house. More of that and our decision making in the next post…….
Rosie
Early sunrise from my terrace. A new beginning.
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I have been a while sharing some posts because we have been back to having no internet again! But now, finally, we now have a hub, and all hopefully all should be okay.
So due to that I have not been able to post all that I wanted to, there is lots to share and I will endeavor to catch up some of it now.
As I write this post I am sitting in the very warm French sunshine, thankfully being cooled by a gusty breeze, it would be too hot otherwise. I have now been home just over two weeks, and I have found the need to have a nap in the afternoon up until last week. I was tired. We have spent a lot of these two weeks just sitting in our garden in the very warm weather and enjoying what we have (and too much wine!) Daisy out smooth coated cat has finally realised I am mummy, and allowed me to cuddle her again. She was miffed I was I was away so long
It has been a busy two weeks for many reasons not least RD has had raging toothache and has had to visit the dentist (emergencies only at present in France.) He is due to go back tomorrow to have the tooth removed.
We have also rearranged the furniture in the living room, taking some out and putting it in the barn. As per my previous post whilst I was away RD made himself busy and painted everything in the kitchen white. So we took the decision to take out the huge vintage French buffet that we had in there and put back the bottom of our larder unit that I painted many, many moons ago. It is to make the room airy and bright, and it is safe to say we have achieved our objective. All with a view to selling our house.
Despite my love of my home we are still going to leave France. I have been blessed to live here but the urge to move on is still with me. When I came home the peacefulness of our surroundings were not lost on me, but they are not enough, and I do believe that life is about change. In fact whether we like it or not life is all about change, it’s one of the bigger lessons I have learnt.
But me being me, I have realised that I am trying to cram everything in and make the change happen quickly. I have heard myself say ‘We need to be in Ireland by this time next year.’ Why do we?
Yes, Rich will need to find work and I think that by this time next year he will be ready to move somewhere where he can speak the language, especially if I am still in my current job, and away for two weeks at a time. And I like my job, I am learning so much, but that is for another post.
I had forgotten one of my other biggest lessons and our belief: That ‘life’ shows you the way. Or to quote M Scott Peck from ‘The Road Less Travelled’ “Someone else is doing the driving.” So whilstour plans remain the same, and we will move to Ireland, we will get the house valued and then decide if it goes on the market now or in a few months.
For the first time since living here we have the opportunity to live the life we wanted to, so we are going to enjoy it for now. The weather is hot, the pool is up, but we also know we have a lot to do in the time I am here.
More to come…
Rosie
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When I first got home the peacefulness of where we live came over me like a wave. It was not lost on me how blessed we are to live here. The birdsong that surrounds us, and the rolling hills.
Then I walked into the kitchen and saw all the hard work that RD had done painting the whole kitchen white (five coats on the ceiling! One of RD’s characteristics is tenacity, no doubting that!) what hit me was the size of my kitchen. I had not realised it was that big!
I love my home, but I have learnt that home is wherever you make it. So enjoying where I am right now, and counting my blessings in the here and now.
More to come ….
Rosie
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After writing my last post A retrospective blog: Going Home…. the wonderful Ed (more of him in a moment) came down to us all and told us that there were dolphins swimming alongside the boat. Going back out in the sunshine not only warmed us physically it warmed us spiritually as well.
Alongside the boat was a school of dolphins, all female with their calves, it literally took my breath away as they leapt out of the water, inches in front of me. They followed us for at least an hour of our three hour journey and it made me think of just how precious nature is.
Ed explained that due to recent over fishing in France they had not seen the dolphins for some time because sadly so many had been killed. But due to the limitations put into place by Covid 19 the French fishing boats had not been out as much and the dolphins were now back alongside the boat. It was perhaps telling that as we approached French waters the dolphins left us. Perhaps Covid 19 has something to teach us after all.
I decided to stay on deck because the sun had warmed me up, after the freezing cabin below. I just let the breeze blow through my hair, and watched in amazement as the cormorant that followed us, so far out to sea, was one minute floating on the air currents and the next hurtling towards the sea in the shape of an arrow, plunging deep, and coming back up with a fish in its’ mouth.
As I stood on that little boat I realised that if you had told me ten years ago that I would be standing on the deck of a little fishing boat from Jersey, making my way back across the English Channel to France, watching dolphins and cormorants I would have laughed at you; it was so far from my reality at that time. And I then realised that IS the adventure: change, things you didn’t ever think would happen, and how important it has been in all of this to keep an open mind to all possibilities. This is truly the adventure.
But more was to come when we arrived in the small port in the pretty seaside town of Granville.
If you look to the right of this photo you will see the wall where the boat came in to dock. We had been warned that we may have to climb up a vertical ladder, they were not kidding! But more than that they did not warn us that we would have to climb one ladder from the boat across to a platform and then step across a meter gap to the vertical ladder on the wall with the sea directly between you. I don’t like heights, the platform was moving and I froze. Bless the wonderful Ed, he was so patient with me as I started to cry with fear. But it was when I could see my husband, and all my girlfriends who were going back to Jersey to work, calling out encouragement I thought of how desperately I wanted to get home, and I said ‘No, I am going to do it.’ The lovely Ed put one leg across to guide me and held my arm and I went for it.
I have never shot up a vertical ladder so fast in my life, with my wonderful RD waiting at the top to pull me up.
We had to go through the formalities with some very officious gendarmes, I hugged my girlfriends goodbye and good luck, they had to go back down the ladder after all! And with that we were off on our journey home.
Home the most wonderful place of all, with my puppies waiting to see me.
And my long awaited glass of wine (sixty eight days with no alcohol!)
This really is turning in to a bigger adventure than I ever anticipated.
Rosie
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I have been back home for ten days, with intermittent internet access (good old France) and I had written this blog on the boat coming home ready to share. I thought I would share with you all now, with more to come…..
‘I am sitting on the boat as I write this, half way back to France.
The fates have been kind to me and the fifty five kilometre winds have abated; and whilst the boat is rolling, the sea is generally okay, but I am writing this to take my mind off the hovering feeling of nausea and how cold my feet are! I am excited to be going home and at the moment that is the only thing keeping me warm. I am so pleased that I rescued my gloves back out from my bag of winter clothes that have been left back in Jersey until they can be ferried home another time.
But what a journey it has been so far: the sun is shining and shimmering on the waves, the winds are light and as the little boat chug, chug, chugs, plowing through the waves, nature and the vastness of the sea and sky never ceases to remind me of how insignificant we are.
There is something about the expanse of sea and sky that always grounds me.
I am going home….
Rosie
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The sea is the most beautiful turquoise blue today, and this view never ceases to take my breath away. I have made new friends, despite being at work; and I have giggled every day. Drunk more hot chocolates than I normally would, seen nearly every beautiful beach in Jersey. But I am not home, and in the words of Neil Diamond from the fabulous song ‘Heartlight’: ‘
‘Cause everyone needs a place And home’s the most excellent place of all’
Thirteen years ago Rich sang that song, and he cried as he struggled with where we were at that time. I have loved that song ever since.
I am still in Jersey. It has been nearly eight weeks now, and I cannot begin to tell you how much I want to go home.
My work had assisted in finding a little cargo boat, that I have taken to calling Boaty McBoatface, to take me home last Wednesday.
I duly completed the paperwork for travel during this pandemic and sent it off. The French immigration came back asking for proof that I lived in France. I duly sent four bills, and my tax returns from last year and the not yet completed (because I am stuck here!) Tax forms for this year. I could have opened a bank account with the amount of documentation I sent! But the good old French immigration department waited until the day I was due to travel to say that because I had mistakenly ticked a box on the form that didn’t apply to me (the other two boxes applied: I was returning to my home address, I was travelling across France to get to my home address) they had refused my application.
I have lived in France long enough to know that because the restrictions are being lifted on Monday they don’t want to do the paperwork. The only problem is if I leave it until Monday I will be cutting it fine to get the boat on Wednesday. As the old regulations apply I have filled in the form again and done it now. I am placed with fantastic people, but I am desperate to go home, and they understand that.
I am not going to lie, there were a lot of tears on Wednesday, as I had to open my case and get some clothes back out.
Add to that in the afternoon I fell over a concrete block, and I fell hard. I actually counted my blessings that at fifty-seven I didn’t break my hip, arm or leg. I guess having some weight on me helped, but I think mainly it was all the years I taught aerobics. (Mental note: I must resume exercising!) On Wednesday I felt very sorry for myself. But the lovely lady I am with told me to have a hot bath, and boy did it help. I didn’t realise how much I was in shock.
I came over with only early spring clothes to wear. Summer is almost here so luckily the garden centre (which has beautiful Italian clothes) had a 50% sale, due the pandemic. Five dresses, five tops, three pairs of trousers and four pairs of shoes later, I have consoled myself with some retail therapy. (It’s been a long time coming!)
But it doesn’t make up for being with RD, who is finding it hard, or my beautiful furries.
They are all missing their mummy, and, boy, am I missing them.
But being me, I have pulled myself back together, but I am going to ask all my readers to send some positive thoughts that I get home next week, because they would really be appreciated.
I however am going to break with my normal approach of thinking well and just this once I am hoping that bumptious official in immigration has a shitty bank holiday weekend!
Namaste!
Rosie
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Man thinks he has it all under control, but he doesn’t. Never underestimate the power of nature. Like I always say: someone else is doing the driving.
