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Category Archives: Making our own way

Understanding yourself

02 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, My home, Recipes, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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‘The great and fierce mystic Willliam Blake said : “There is no greater act than putting another before you.”

This speaks to a selfless giving that seems to be at the base of meaningful love. Yet having struggled for a lifetime with letting the needs of others define me, I’ve come to understand that without the healthiest form of self-love – without honouring the essence of life this thing called ‘self’ carries , the way a pod carries a seed – putting another before you can result in damaging self-sacrifice and endless co-dependence. ‘

From the Book of Awakening Mark Nepo

I always say on my other blog how I believe that it is essential for people to find themselves and not let others define them. I need to listen to my own words. I am going to do my best to post on this blog at least every other day to share my journey over the past few weeks with you; including the messages that life has sent me along the way.

But to start with I am going out in the garden today. I am not posting my other blog to various Facebook sites, or promoting it at all. I am taking a ‘time out’ from Social Media today and over the next few days I will explain why.

But for now I will say that I have not slept well over the past few nights, with no particular thing on my mind. The book is selling, wonderful people are contacting me to say they have it; H has work, best it’s been for a long time; but I know it is my mind that is keeping me awake! And I know why.

So without further ado this is currently what our chemin looks like:

 

Seriously if we don’t work on it we will not be able to walk up it! So on this damp and cloudy autumn afternoon I am going out in the garden with H (he has a week off before more work) to help him; because he cannot do any particular heavy lifting and because I need to get out in the fresh air and away from my book. I need to practice what I preach for a day: and let life show me the way!!

More to come

Rosie

 

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Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

Life

01 Sunday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, The continuing adventure, The seasons, Us

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As Autumn rolls in, with the first day of September marking her arrival the day has been warmer than promised. We have had a totally lazy day and at five in the evening I have just got out of my jymbies! H looked at me this afternoon as we sat watching old episodes of ‘Four in a Bed’ and uttered the words we always use ‘I should get on really.’ Only this time I looked at him and said ‘Why?’

You see the French try and keep their Sunday’s sacred, that is why it is frowned upon to mow your lawn, or use loud tools after noon on a Sunday (in some areas that applies to all day); but it is not a bad thing because you do not have a constant hum of strimmers, and lawn mowers, and drills and banging whilst people frantically try and fit in all their jobs before they return to the daily grind of more often than not, ten hour or more days, like we used to do in England.

Since living here I have come to understand: it is not the noise it is the fact that not being able to make that noise makes you stop! And then perhaps smell the roses?

But coming from England that is still a hard thing for us to do: just stop. Have a day when you don’t do anything or give yourself a list of jobs to do. Yes I will be cooking a roast dinner today but that is all, no hardship. Yes I am writing this blog, but I love writing; and yes I have done some social media work, but again I don’t find that a hardship and I do try and manage it.

I suppose the coming of the new season and the slow drop in temperature as the day has wore on has made me think; for new people to this blog you will know that I am inspired by Autumn and all she brings   and represents: death, closure, the end of something, another chapter gone, and the reminder to cherish the moment becauses suddenly summer is over and autumn is here. She has taught me that without all these things life cannot move forward and change is the only thing of which we are guaranteed; so today got me thinking about how we should just sometimes stop and savour the day; stop always trying to achieve and just go with the flow. And today that is exactly what we did.

Earlier in the year I wrote of how we did not know if we would stay here and I said that life would show us the way. So far it has: Rich’s business has taken off, I have got me back, we have met some lovely people (sadly we have met some more arseholes as well, but those bastards are about wherever you go) and we have learnt our worth. My other blog was a main contributing factor to that: in the way it has just took off, and the responses to it. It made me realise that I should not listen to the n’er do wells in life and trust my own gut instinct because so far it has never let me down; things never worked out when I didn’t listen to my gut, but when I do things come good.

On Thursday I was sent the proof for my book and the front and back cover (which are fabulous). Yes I have to proof read it and should have been doing it today but it is good too take a break when you are looking for any editorial mistakes! Once agreed the book should be available to buy by the end of the month, and I already have people from all over the world waiting to buy it. I will keep you posted.

In addition to that Rich has now been contacted via our website by two clients who have a lot of decorating work and they are now pencilled in for the winter months. That is a first!

But we have also stayed true to our word in that we would know our worth and we will not just take work because we need the money. We always need the money but we agreed that we would not do sub-standard work for people who did not want to  pay for prep; and also that we would not work for people who appeared rude, or when alarm bells were ringing about them. We have done that too often since living here and it got us nowhere.

As most of you know I do believe life shows you the way and sends you lessons and in the past two weeks she has sent us a test to see if we were going to be true to our word: life sent us a client who was at times abrupt and rude and who rang all of our alarm bells:

They told us that their regular decorator had been too busy all summer to accomodate them (alarm bell 1, that normally means that the person is difficult to work for and that the decorator turned down the job) then they told us that they would do the prep work prior to painting (alarm bell two because if the prep was not done right then the paint would not adhere properly) then they changed their minds about what they wanted and asked for another price for the job with the work they had originally said they would do included. (Alarm bell three, as they did not seem to know what they wanted so how could we provide it?) Then they asked me for my phone number four times even when it was already on the messages sent, and they had our business card! They said that they did not use the internet even though they messaged me via Messenger and have a Facebook page! They could not understand why the days required to do the job would increase (even though I had to add the additional work that they had said they would do) and on and on and on. Their messages got ruder and more and more blunt and in the end all of my and H’s alarm bells were ringing loudly.

But me (ever the empath) still gave them the benefit of the doubt even when H said he had serious doubts about working for them.  I suggested that ‘life will show us the way.’ It did the very same morning!  After providing six different estimates accomodating their changes of mind I got home to a message querying something that had already been explained four times. It was both rude, demanding and abrupt, and I thought ‘well life sure showed me!’ I was getting the impression that I was having my time wasted (hence the lack of blogging) and I spoke to H and we both agreed that we would let the job go. So we did; and it felt good. Life will send us what we need, it has proved that to me over and over again.

So on this first day of autumn those are my reflections on life, and what we have learnt so far this year.

I learnt long ago that life is driving the the mini-bus  I’m not, and it is only when I don’t listen to what life tells me that things go wrong. I am now listening.

Here are to exciting journey’s ahead.

Rosie

Image result for tree lined avenues

 

Spurred on again

26 Monday Aug 2019

Posted by in Making our own way, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly., Us

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I have often thought long and hard about writing about social media here in France (not just in France I hear the cry!) but I can only speak of my experiences as part of this adventure.

When I first came here I was shocked at the level of negativity and sometimes venom that has been levelled at people. As I was still not fully me it deterred me from pushing our business forward. But as I have written before, since the beginning of this year I have been brought back to being The person I used to be and our business has been ticking over.

To promote our business I have to use social media, add to that the promotion from my book and Other blog which serialises the book, I have become a dab hand at social media promotion which is here and now, not scrolling back, but here and now.

Over here there are certain Facebook sites that have been set up to help people promote their services and to find services. But over the past few months I have had negative comments on some of my posts: ‘if you’re that good why do you have to keep advertising?’ that sort of thing. On one of the sites I was blocked from posting for ten days.

There was no apparent reason for this other than we are showing work that has been completed for our clients and their feedback. That’s what you’d share, isn’t it? But people have taken exception and today I received notification from another site to say that people were complaining that I was posting too much. The last time I posted to that site was the 16th of August! I also noticed that my post that I put out today had been removed. So you know me, I asked why, and how often you are expected to post, given that the site is to advertise the service you provide. The answer was: because you’re the only one that does it on a regular basis!😳

I was spitting blood. So because I post regularly, even though I was not breaking any ‘rules’, because some people complained (about what I don’t know, other than what I can inly assume was petty jealousy) my post was taken down. The masses were not questioned as to why they took exception to my posts, it was just taken down. So basically, as is often the case over here, spitefulness prevailed.

Now being back to Good old Rosie (aka Moisy) again I did what I would have always done. I hate bullies, I hate the mentality of bullying, I hate spitefulness and lack of support from others for others, as is often the case from some people over here. I am not prepared to let them lead me.

I thought to myself, as I sat here fuming, ‘Rosie what are you doing? Why are you letting ‘the haters’ affect your life?’

So I set up my own Facebook site for people to advertise their services, there and then. I am recommending they post to it at least twice a week, or more if they have an event to organise, and now I am advertising that site. I set it up at one o’ clock this afternoon and people are advertising already and I have over 18 members and counting.

The introduction on the page is clear, no petty minded people need apply.

And the page rules are also clear this is a supportive group.

From the responses I have had I would say that others are as sick as I am of the pettiness over hear. It will be an interesting few months me-thinks.

Hear is to entrepreneurship. Welcome one and all. Please like my page, and if you know anyone who wants to advertise their wares please them they will be welcome.

Please click here & support our new page

Like I said ‘I’m back!’

Rosie

Learning lessons: The holiday

19 Monday Aug 2019

Posted by in Making our own way, My home, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good life

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We will have lived in France four years and four months, lived in our house four years last week. Wow! The time has truly flown.

Those who have been following this blog know that we have had some good times, but boy we have had some tough times; and it has only been this year that I have fully recovered: back to being me

As a result of my full recovery I have taken over the management of our small property management business, set up the website, and promoted the hell out of H: He is good at what he does.

Because of this H (my new abbreviation for Danny/Rich, it’s just easier!) has had more work and last week we realised that it was actually the first ‘holiday’ we have had since living here.

That’s the thing with an adventure like this: you’re setting up a new life when you move to a new country: bank accounts, language, culture, in France in particular finding your way around the mountains of admin. All the things that you just took for granted: like opening a letter and reading it, or being able to pick up the phone to sort something out just goes out of the window.

This was our house when we viewed it, the paper on the walls was damp and mouldy in the living room.

Our kitchen had the unit you can see and nothing else. It had to be taken out and H built us a kitchen on a budget, and over the years we have actually taken the wall between the laundry room and kitchen.

When people embark on this type of adventure they want ‘the land’ but as I have written about before land means work! Add it to having to translate everything, renovating, trying to build a business and oh my! So suffice to say to have an adventure is hard work, unless you don’t have to work, or have enough money to pay others. And you are always doing something, if it’s not work it’s the house, or admin, or in our case starting up two blogs, writing a book, setting up an Etsy shop, and so much more beside. We are always on the go, and we haven’t taken any kind of holiday, until now.

Life intervened to make this a holiday, where we took a break from everything, including admin, and housework, and renovation and gardening: it made me ill.

I am the driving force, H would tell you that. But my failing is that being a ‘doer’ I cram things in to every day. I am always looking to achieve, but this last week I stopped. We did the basic tidying that you have to do on a daily basis, we lay in bed until mid-day (albeit with a cup of tea), and we chilled. H had a window to fix that was smashed in the winds the week before last, and every day he said he was going to fix it, and every day I said it was fine. It’s not freezing, it didn’t have to be done on our week off. Being ill, and still not one hundred per cent even now, made me stop.

Yesterday was our last day of our holiday and with the fuel to drive around we had spent the total of twenty-two euro. It proved to us we didn’t need money, we just needed each other and simple things like sitting in the washer-woman’s wash house watching the rain plop into the river in the beautiful Chailland.

Or just chilling with tea in the morning with the Welshies, who couldn’t be happy seeing this every morning.

As we sat in the garden last night drinking our last bottle of red wine (before our self imposed change to not drink on weekdays) H looked at me and said ‘I have had such a lovely time, and really felt as if I have had a holiday.’ I agreed with him and it made us realise that life has changed for us: being busy has enabled us to appreciate the holiday we have had, and also made us realise that we don’t need money to have a good time.

Here is to more galavanting, time permitting.

But just one other thing: if you don’t have bad times then you won’t know good times, that is the biggest lesson we have learnt from this adventure. If you’re not busy, how do you enjoy relaxing? Or does each day just merge into another? I have also learnt from this break that you can get caught up in the busyness and forget to sometimes just stop, and that there are so many beautiful places just on our doorstep, we just need to take the time out to enjoy them.

Rosie

Catching up

02 Friday Aug 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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Where do I start? The book is at the publishers after another edit, the blog is just about to hit 75,000 views, and hubby is doing such wonderful work in his business.

Here is his current project: barn doors he has been working on, they had to be prepped and the metalwork needed detailed paintwork; I am so proud of him because I know what he is capable of. To see the project from the beginning you can visit our website it is under the section ‘a renovation story.’ The client is so pleased she has asked him to extend his time with her.

It is a joy to see him enjoying his work (we had some awful people recently) and being appreciated for the dedication that he puts into it.

The business also keeps me busy updating the website, and Facebook page and promoting it. Sadly it is a fact of life that we have learnt to accept that you will always get someone with a snide remark, but it does not deter me now; like I said I am back, and I simply answer them. People don’t understand that in the world today social media is here and now, there is no going back, just going forward. Pretty much like life really!

So going forward we are now in the process of changing our house. When we first moved here we bought with us such beautiful things from our old home. But I have come to realise that I was trying to make this house into our old house; when in fact we should make it something new. As a result we have moved the furniture in our living room so that the sofa’s are against one wall, making a ‘snug’ area in which to watch the TV. If you look at the first photo the top picture is before and the second one after.

The top photo is before, the bottom after

We have blocked off the door that originally led to the stairs and re-opened the old one; we will leave the closed door or we won’t be able to get furniture in & out from upstairs! But that won’t be a problem because I have a huge mirror that will cover it – another thing on the list to paint!

Doing this has given us an enormous amount of space, and given me the opportunity to have my wingback chairs in our large window.

I have always wanted this layout, to be able to sit here in the morning and look out across the garden, and valley.

In fact we sit here in the evening now when Danny (aka Rich) gets home from work. It is proving popular with all the animals, we sit in the chairs and Diddies goes to sleep in the window box.

Our living room was originally two rooms, and where before we had the wingback chairs over the other side we now have enough room to bring in a very large French Antique Buffet, and a round table.

If you look at the photo above you can see the top of the buffet, which is currently on the floor because the bottom is in my kitchen. But not after tomorrow it won’t be, because I am emptying it to move it, and tomorrow it will have it’s first coat of white paint.

As you can tell we are busy, and we are also selling some of our beautiful stuff. To move forward you have to let go: the Grandmother clock you can see in the pictures is being collected tomorrow by its new owner. My pretty antique Singer sewing machine is up for sale, along with many other pieces.

Both our kitchen and living room are going to be painted white, including all of the beams. Furniture we are keeping is in line for painting white and blue and I don’t have enough hours in the day.

I also want to develop my role now with regard to the book. Does anyone know an agent?!

I have to go now folks, but before I do, although I still don’t know where life will take me, I appreciate what I have. Who couldn’t when I wake up to this view in the morning?

I promise I will blog again at the weekend, I have so much to tell you .

Rosie

So much to say, so little time, so much change

22 Saturday Jun 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I cannot believe that I have not blogged for over seventeen days, so much has happened but time has truly run away with me.

At the end of May I signed up to self-publish my book. There have been so many people asking where they can buy it, the blog is just about to have it’s ten thousandth visitor and has just hit fifty nine thousand views. I couldn’t wait anymore, I am confident of it’s success and life will show me the way where a publisher is concerned. But….

Due to the nature of the book I have had to use a pseudonym I didn’t want to, but after a weekend prevaricating I came to realise that it is the right thing to do You can read about my decision here and as a result Rosie Joseph was born. It is an homage to my mum and dad, using their second names, hopefully I will immortalise them forever, as a big thank you to my dad, who taught me to read. So now when you look on this blog it will be RJ who is posting but I have kept the title the same.

Due to all of this I now have to re-edit my book, but now I have a deadline of the end of July! In addition I have nearly 100 blog posts on the blog of the same name to edit, so that it can be linked with the book, but sadly I will have to unlink the blogs. To say that I am busy is an understatement! Add to that new social media accounts, rebuilding followers, and continuing promotion, including Danny’s business (yep another name change my husband is called Danny now!), and doing admin for the business and I am now having to remind myself to switch off!

The French bureaucracy is driving me nuts! (Another story that must be told) and some additional galavanting and I have lots to tell.

So tomorrow I will be sitting in the sunshine of my beautiful garden, surrounded by the ever changing fields of gold, editing, editing, editing. We will also be pulling together some lists for some life changing decisions we may make in the future.

Please bear with me as I change my name, my adventures will be the same, but perhaps in Spain!

Rosie ❤️

Dreams

22 Wednesday May 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The good life

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When we were planning to move to France I had a little dream in my head: I pictured myself sitting in my garden writing. I had some pretty clothes on and a jaunty French scarf around my neck, and the sun was shining. So as I sit here in my garden today, writing this blog, the sun is shining, and I am in paint spattered clothes (hey you can’t have everything!) and I realised that my dream has come true.

I am editing my book, surrounded by tranquility and birdsong, with two sleeping Welshies at my feet and 3 sleeping cats around me.

I realise again that my dream has come true.

My book is half way edited from the printed version (so much you cannot see when it is on the laptop!) and I will be contacting a publisher on Friday. My blogYou can read it here just hit 50,000 views, with over 8,000 visitors.

I always knew our story would help others, and from the interaction and feedback from the people who read it I was right. Someone once told me to ceremoniously burn my journal one day; but I always knew I couldn’t because it is part if me: keeping that journal made me the person that I am today.

It brought a tear to my eye today. Dreams can come true, you just have to believe in them.

Moisy

Galavanting: Vitre’

28 Sunday Apr 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Galavanting, Making our own way, The continuing adventure

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Vitre castle Brittany

I said a while ago that as part of our decision making we are going to get out at least once a month and see other parts of France. I am going to share these adventures with you.

Due to the bank holiday we decided to visit the stunning medieval city of Vitre’ in Brittany. We loaded the Welshies into the car and off we went on a sunny April day and found this….

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. To add to that all of the little pavement cafe’s and bars were open, including some shops!

It is one of the things that drives me nuts about where we are that everything just shuts down. It drives our French friends and neighbours nuts too: Here on a Sunday the bars are open but only until afternoon, even in the main cities of Fourgeres and Laval. Here in Vitre they were all open and it was humming, classic French cafe culture and we loved it.

We walked around the castle, promenaded on the ramparts and sat and people watched whilst enjoying a reasonably priced coffee (only three euro fifty for two coffees!).

It got us thinking: step over from Pays de Loire to Brittany and everything changes. Is this the place for us? Maybe! Let’s see what life shows us.

Here are to more trips. There is so much in this city to see that I am sure we will be visiting again. Here is to galavanting.

Moisy

Moving forward – Coming back

25 Thursday Apr 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, My home, Reflections, The background story, The continuing adventure, Us

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When we undertook this adventure what I did not see was just how much it would show me: with regard to the way I look at life. Since moving here I have read the Tao, still not completed reading ‘The Road Less Travelled and Beyond’, and I have touched on the great ‘regarder of life’: Byron Katie. I have learnt a lot from them all. In addition living here has given me the peace and tranquility that I needed to find myself again, I have written before that I am back, but never really fully explained why. You can read some of my posts on this here

As  most of my readers know due to the pressures of my job in England, and being an empath, I eventually became very ill from stress. I did not realise just how ill I was until I fully recovered this year.

As part of this adventure I have written my book ‘Making This Better; and I have serialised it on another blog (you can click on the link at the top of the page.) I always knew that the story of what happened to Rich and I would help others, and serialising my book has proved to me that this is the case. (Nearly 10,000 views this month alone and on it’s way to 42,000 views in seven months.) But more than anything as I re-read some of my journal entries from so long ago they have showed me the one true asset that I have had all my life: my strong personality. In fact in one of my journal entries I have commented how I was fighting ‘the essence of me’ to stay with Rich. You can read this entry here

As I have said in that post when I read it I had tears in my eyes, because I knew that I over the intervening years I had suppressed it and I realised what an asset I have been given in my life. The teachings of the Tao are to be kind, that is true; but they are also to turn the other cheek, and with that I cannot always agree. This adventure has shown us people who will take advantge of that, I have written about them often; and perhaps all of those experiences was life telling me to take back the one thing that God gave me that mattered: my strong personality. you can read about some of the lessons here

and here

and here

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Now when I read what I said all those years ago, knowing that I have taken back my strength, I feel that I am finally where I need to be with regard to what to do with life. Since doing this, it has been as if life is saying ‘thank Christ for that! She has finally realised what she has to do, now I will help her’: and since then Rich’s business has started to take off. I said many years ago that integrity was a commodity out here; and now I am managing his Facebook page and have designed his website, which I am also promoting Rich is doing well, and I believe it is because we are being us and using the skills and integrity that we have. We don’t rip people off, we do over and above what is needed and we can be trusted not to steal.

One of the things that really got to me since living here was that people can be so vicious, especially when it comes to hustling for work; we were in some ways afraid to put Rich’s services out there because of what they would say (this would never have been me before my illness!)  and so we relied on others to offer us work. Now I am back that is not working for me: I want us to get our own work, I know what we are capable of as a team and I don’t want to be beholden to anyone.

In  addition I will not put up  with an ounce of unnecessary shit from anyone. Now if people want to  be rude to us, or try to undermine us, then I will answer them right back, in a professional and businesslike,  sometimes terrifying way.  In fact I  already have, and we got a job out of it. I find nastiness unecessary, and whilst I understand that often it is because people feel insecure or vulnerable, we all have to step up to the plate, if you are feeling vulnerable then find out why and change it; stop taking it out on everyone else.  I am not unnecessarily nasty to anyone:  unless they are nasty to me!

The other day I was saying about something to Rich and about how I was not prepared to put up with it and he giggled; when I looked at him he said ‘I love that so much about you: that you won’t let anyone beat you.’

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We have also realised that when you undetake an adventure like this, many people  who are afraid to do the same are often waiting for you to fail; add to that you also feel like you ‘have’ to keep plugging away at it because you chose to make such a huge change, and because of that you fail to see that the whole point of an adventure is change: when you embark on it, and when you are in the midst of it. As part of me coming back this year, Rich and I have been honest with each other in that we didn’t know if we would stay: and from that we then realised that was all part of the adventure to make change as we needed.

A few weeks ago I met a couple who were returning to the UK. As you know I have blogged about the fact that I was reconsidering whether I wanted to continue our adventure here in France, or whether to move to pastures new (although we know that England will not be an option.) This lady said to me that she had loved living here, but that they had been here twelve years and she believed that life went in ten-year cycles: when it is then time to move on to something new; and it got me thinking: I do believe tha life is about moving forward all the time; perhaps it is also about accepting that when we get itchy feet we should listen to the message that life is sending our way.

When we moved to the Pays de Loire area of France four years ago we chose this are because we had holidayed here twice, and we loved the peace and tranquility. We loved it because we were having a break from out two notoriously hectic careers; mine even more so. England is a notoriously crowded Island: you queue  to go anywhere even to the supermarket; and I wrote very early on in this adventure how people in the UK generally seemed so angry. All of these things led us both to want somewhere in the rural countryside, where life was extremely laid back and was not overcrowded with people and so we made the choice to move to the Pays de Loire region. I have come to realise that at that time that is what we needed; and you can only ever make life choices based on what you have in the here and now.

3 Rules All Great Leaders Follow When Facing Change

The last four years have been glorious they have replenished me; I still love my house and the beautiful countryside around us, but as I have written recently I am back to being the real Moisy and I don’t think in the long-term that will be enough. I now need a little more stimulation, I am ready for it again. Who Knew that would happen?

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A winter sunset from my garden in France 

It has made me consider that perhaps we all hold on too tightly to things, and don’t embrace the fact that life is a constantly evolving adventure. Now that is something that I learnt from the Tao: no matter how much you plan, no matter how many contingencies you put into place life never goes to plan.

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Add to all of this my book which means that I now interact with people whose lives have been turned upside down, as ours was many years ago; and I can see that was another life event to make us stop and change direction with our lives (we had been together nine years!) It was also an event that we have now been able to use to help other people; and I never thought that I would encounter so many wonderful people as I have. Who knew?

When I moved into my house in Kent all those years ago I thought it was my forever home; and now I am here: in France. Who knew?

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Now I have come to realise that life does go in cycles, and only by embracing that knowledge can you truly find peace. So the biggest lesson I have learnt: We make decisions based on the here and now (as we should) and given that we should all expect change as the here and now changes!

I  know that whatever decision we make we will make it based on the circumstances at the time and that in the future when those cirucmstances change we may well adapt and decide to do something different.

THAT is life.

So here is the thing that I have learnt so far from this adventure:

Understand that when you make a decision in life it is based on what you need at that time; but over time your needs will change, you will change, and it is okay to change direction, change your adventure and move on to something new. It is not failure it is in fact strength and bravery.

Never let go of any strength you have, if you have been blessed with it use it for all your worth: look at what has happened to us this year since I have got all my strength back. Don’t let others undermine your strong personality, it is your asset and they are envious.

So here is to strong personailities, here is to the adventurers, here is to changing direction when it is needed, or every ten years, here is to listening to life.

I am never saying never about staying here; because I do not know where my life may change again, as I said to Rich who knows what we will be doing this time next year!

I’m just going with the flow because I know it will take me where I need to go.

Moisy

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The view from my garden in France