19 Thursday Mar 2020
Just a quick post before I go back off-grid.
In the light of the Covid19 virus putting us all on lockdown, I just saw this on Facebook and it made me smile.
Man thinks he has it all under control, but he doesn’t. Never underestimate the power of nature. Like I always say: someone else is doing the driving.
In my absence I recommend the following:
The Book of Awakening. Mark Nepo
The Alchemist. Paulo Coelho
Stay safe, be kind, don’t be selfish.
Rosie
13 Thursday Feb 2020
Tags
Belief, Brexit, Changes, emotional intelligence, Ireland, Irish citizens, life is an adventure, moving forward, Moving on, not getting any younger
We have decided that it is time to move forward. When I started to draft this post I did say ‘but not quite out of France yet.’ Now I am not sure if we will stay in France once we have moved from this house or make our way to pastures new.
I wrote last January about the discussion we had about whether to stay or not. Since then we have been reading ‘The Book of Awakenings’ by Mark Nepo, and so much of it has resonated with us. Not least letting go.
I believe we all hold on so tight to things sometimes, just like the monkeys who won’t let go of the rice in the coconut shell that has trapped them. So they die, because the hunters catch them. When all they had to do was let go, uncurl their fist and take their hand out of the coconut trap. ‘Let go of the Rice’ is now quoted at the front of my journal and also my diary.
Once RD and I discussed turning off from this adventure to a new one, once we ‘let go of the rice’ and the fear of failure; once we realised that we were not failures by doing things that the critics would fear to do, the things we needed came our way: more work, more understanding, which led us to also understand that it’s not just the work that is hard out here. It is so many other things beside.
My late dad, God rest his soul, was Irish. Born in Tipperary, called Patrick. As a result I am an Irish citizen. I have my Dad’s birth certificate and I am waiting for my long certificate to arive and I will then apply for my Irish passport. I have no sentimentality for my country, I am sad the turn it has taken over the past few years.
As a result Brexit will not affect me, not sure how it will impact on RD whilst living here, but I do know that once we move to Ireland he will also apply to become an Irish citizen. We are proud to be part of the European community. But that is not why we are moving. There are many reasons, being starved of emotional intelligence is one of them; but also we are not getting any younger, it would be easier to find work, or set up businesses in Ireland, and there is also the language.
Language is not as simple as just learning the words; there are the phrases, and sayings and slang and underlying meaning that all have to be considered. I can speak some French now, can even talk on the phone in some instances, but constantly it is extra pressure that to be honest as I am getting older I don’t need. I have a life to live and constantly translating beauracracy is exhausting and depressing.
We are not getting any younger; and whilst we are only fifty seven this year it may take a couple of years before we move, and if we leave it too late it will be too hard to do any other renovations, or start business. (I think I will be taking all I have learned in my cooking repertoire with me.) So now is the time, we think life has sent us enough messages.
Whilst we are here we will continue to love where we live, dance and sing with our wonderful friends and neighbours, and we will see as much of France as we can. I will forever have fond memories of our wingback chairs in our picture window, it is our favourite place to sit, and we always cherish the here and now.
We have talked a lot about it. We do believe that life shows you the way and where you should go, but right now, based on the here and now, we will be going to Ireland, with it’s beautiful countryside and no need to talk to only English people.
Let’s see what life has to say.
Rosie
07 Friday Feb 2020
Posted in laughter & giggles, mental health, The continuing adventure, Us
I thought I would share a quick story this Friday (Friday? where the hell did this week go?) something that I hope will make you giggle.
I recently wrote about my aunt who had recently died well my sister sent some photos to me that my aunt had in her keeping; and the above photo is one if them. It is a picture of my sister and I on holiday, probably somewhere like Clacton, or Margate.
I casually passed the photos to RD when he got home from work, he didn’t have his glasses on and I hadn’t really looked at the photos in depth, and he asked ‘is that a real donkey?’ !!!
What made it worse was I said yes!
He the said with incredulity ‘ Well! I’ve never seen a donkey that looks like that!’
I then looked at the photo! I couldn’t breathe for laughing, so much so I had to stand up!
Still giggling today.
Here’s to a good Friday.
Rosie
02 Sunday Feb 2020
Posted in Goodbyes, mental health, People, Reflections
Tags
characters, Death, Goodbyes, loneliness, Love, old people, poignant memories
I was born on my auntie Edie’s thirty-third birthday. My poor mum, it was five minutes to midnight and auntie Edie was screaming at her to push! Because of the significance auntie Edie was told she could name me, she suggested Claire, and my mum told her to sod off! (I am certainly not a Claire!) So with the help and suggestions of the Doctor in attendance Moira was chosen (yep Rosie is my pseudonym).
We had our ups and downs auntie Edie and I, we were probably too alike! But in the midst of what could be an awful, belittling toxic family (with my mum being the youngest, so normally the one vilified and put down, and I being her youngest child) auntie Edie was the aunt who stood up for me; she was the one who told me not to listen to them when they said what a horrible child I was (my strong personality and toxic insecure people don’t tend to mix). She was the one who told me to ‘tip them arseholes!’ She was the one who always believed in me, along with my late uncle Mac, I loved him so. Even though he used to refer to me as ‘that little cow’, he was right I am!
When I was sitting my A’levels auntie Edie took me out to the rose garden of the affiliated working men’s club that she ran with my uncle Mac, and she helped me choose the roses to take to take to my exam and draw. She had an artist’s eye, and could sew, paint and knit anything she turned her mind to. I will always remember when she painted the ceiling of their Victorian flat a deep green, people thought she was mad, until it was finished, and stunning.
Like me auntie Edie could be a cow; she would argue and we argued, until she realised that I wasn’t like my mum, I wouldn’t capitulate and cry, I would stand my ground. I know that overall she loved me for that.
The memory of auntie Edie for me was when I visited her after RD had left Me. I was crying and said how I wanted to stop, she looked at me and said ‘why don’t you then?’ I did. She then gave Tom money to buy Kentucky fried chicken, because she knew I couldn’t afford it, and that he was struggling seeing his mum in the mess that I was.
That moment was a massive turning point for me at that time in my life, and auntie Edie features in my book in the days of our recovery. I had no mum by then, and she knew that, and she took that responsibility seriously.
I did visit auntie Edie once after I moved to France, the one time I have returned to the UK, I had to visit my favourite aunt, in the knowledge that time was limited.
Sadly auntie Edie died last night, alone as so many elderly people are nowadays. From what I understand she died in her sleep, a blessing in what had become a sad ending to her life. I have no doubt that uncle Mac, young and handsome came to collect her, and I will think of them, jiving in heaven.
Rest In Peace Auntie Edie I was blessed to have a character such as you in my life.
Moira
If anyone knows of an old person near to them who is lonely, please consider spending just half an hour a week with them, for companionship. Let’s change the world this year in small steps.
02 Sunday Feb 2020
Tags
acceptance, being grateful, Changes, encouraging others, Feeling blessed, grey days, Helping others, mental health, Moving on, positivity, sitting with pain, the laws of attraction, the power of positivity, tranquility
I will be writing quite a lot this week, there is a lot to share, and perhaps this is a good place to start.
I have shared the photo of my favourite place to sit because so many people comment on the view from the window, and how beautiful it is.
It is, and for that I am thankful.
Today I shared a fellow bloggers post on this site because it really resonated with me: how we take things for granted, and fail to appreciate even the smallest of things. She has asked people to join her in a ‘being grateful’ challenge, and I have joined it.
I am sitting in my red chair, on a rainy grey afternoon, with H sitting opposite me looking at God knows what crap on his iPad, and I am grateful because one day I will remember this beautiful place where I had the opportunity to sit and write.
I am saying this because we have pretty much come to the decision that we will be leaving this house, and as soon as it is where we think it should be decoration wise, we will be putting it on the market, it will be this year.
We won’t leaving France, for now, but we believe it is time for us to move into a new chapter in our lives. The minibus is off down a new lane, deviating from the plan we have never had!
After Molly our cat died, in the early hours of New Years day, I allowed myself to sit with my pain for the first few weeks. It was something I learned to do a long while ago, but I also knew that life goes on.
The new year here is often the most difficult time (isn’t it everywhere?) with no worked booked, the cold,grey skies, it can drag you under. So after a week or so every morning before I opened my eyes I made myself say thank you: for having a warm bed to sleep in, a house to live in, warmth, my husband sleeping beside me, our son, and his attitude to life, our dogs, who we are so aware are only ‘loaned’ to us, our cats, our ability to reflect and on and on. It pulled me forward, and although I still miss Molly every day, I no longer ‘make’ myself say thank you in the morning I just do it for the benefit it brings.
So one morning a couple of weeks ago, when RD was down, I told him how he needed to see what he had, told him what I had been doing, and how beneficial I had found it; and as I was saying this to him the iPad started to ping, with people enquiring about our services and booking work. Literally as I was telling him. The power of positivity!
So will you join me? Will you share one thing every day (if you can) about what you are grateful for? Or join Eliza on this link ?
Let’s change the world, let’s not talk about mental health, let’s do it.
Rosie
I will be blogging again today, there is someone I need to say goodbye to.
25 Saturday Jan 2020
Tags
a little place to sit, being grateful, Belief, believe, birthdays, Blessings, contemplation, Contentment, count your blessings, counting your blessings, Dogs, Faith, Feeling blessed, French sunsets, good times, Happiness, Helping others, home, Inspiration, kindness, learning, LIfe, life shows the way, Life shows you the way, memories, mental health, positivity, Reflections, Rural France, sanctuary, Simple things, Small things, Tears, tranquility, understanding, Welsh Terriers, Welshies
This is the Table beside my blue wing back chair.
It is a place I sit often to write, manage our life, and just look at life; and this table holds many things I use: my journal, my diary, my iPad, my book, books I am reading, currently Mark Nepo ‘The Book of Awakenings’, and ‘The Road Less Travelled and Beyond’. It has become a little sanctuary to me, as I look out on my garden, often with a Welshie sitting opposite me.
I took the picture of my table last night because today is my birthday, and as I placed the flowers that RD had bought me on my table (where else would they go?!) with my cards, ready to open this morning, I realised how much this table encapsulates my life, and just how blessed I am.
I have no religion, or ‘God’. Perhaps my ‘God’ is life. I truly believe that life does show you the way, if you have faith. But as with all faiths sometimes it is hard to hold on to them. I will do another blog to show how life has shown us over this month to believe in it, and ourselves, but today I want to share a gift I was given by our client.
I have often written about the awful people we have worked for, but yesterday our client paid their bill and then gave us a tip on top! A tip that will enable us to buy wood for the rest of the winter. But it was not the actual tip that was the biggest gift, it was the fact that it reminded me that there are good and kind people out there. It bought tears to my eyes because of that, because of their kindness, and because it gave me a lesson, and it gave me faith.
I think I will chalk that up as one of the best gifts ever, along with my son turning up at Christmas: spiritual gifts not material ones.
Rosie
You can read our other story by clicking on the link at the top of the page.
Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect
23 Thursday Jan 2020
Tags
French Winters, growing and learning, Helping others, Making this better, trust, what adventures teach us, Winter Gardens in France, writing in the winter sunshine
I have been really busy since New Year helping H with a job. It’s coming to an end now, so now I have some time off.
My blogs have suffered, as has my social media interaction, but that will all be boosted again now.
My book seems to be doing pretty well, in fact it was positioned at 185,00 on Amazon best sellers rank on and off over the past month. Given how many books they sell I am taking that as a good thing; add to that the three 5 star ratings I have received this month and I am hopeful.
But I cannot sit on my laurels, promotion is the key so to add to my Twitter, Facebook (as Rosie Joseph) my Facebook page ”Making This Better’, and my Facebook Group ‘Making This Better’, I now have an Instagram page of the same name with followers going up each day. So after working with H all day I have been coming home and interacting with others all over the world.
I always knew, all those years ago, that my story would help others, our story would help others. What happened to us changed our lives, and I know some people will find it hard to believe, but for the better. If it hadn’t happened then I would not be sitting in my cold winters garden in France writing this blog.
But more than anything it is the wonderful messages that I get from people from all over the globe saying how my book has helped them; how they find themselves reading it and nodding and saying to themselves ‘that’s me.’
But you see I give them hope, because I am here now helping others, I am proof that you can come out the other side. Every message I get brings tears to my eyes, because I was there once, and I know their pain, and the messages are so wonderful, and grateful. The reviews on Amazon say it all really.
What has that got to do with this adventure? Everything. If we had not come here I would have been so caught up in the ‘rat race’ that I would probably never had time to write my book; and If I had, it may have had a less open perspective, given the crap I was putting up with in England.
In addition it shows that trust can grow, because RD and I had to trust each other to take on this adventure, and we had to work as a team to do it. As a result I know that we are changing other people’s lives, from what they tell me. We are giving them hope.
That’s got to be a good thing hasn’t it?
Rosie.
You can read our other story by clicking on the link at the top of the page.
Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect
05 Sunday Jan 2020
Tags
adventures, cats, Change, counting your blessings, Death, Dogs, frosty trees, hoar frost, isolation, LIfe, life shows the way, memories, new decades, Reflections, sadness, silence, understanding, Welsh Terriers, Welshies
Inspired by my fellow blogger and cyber friend Kat I have included this picture. It pretty much sums up how we feel right now: incredibly sad.
There is a pervading air of sadness in our house since Molly died, she was here so long. This picture of the weeping willow weeping into the lake, all of which has been painted by the Hoar Frost, reminds me of a time of silence, and is pertinent to how we feel. Right now we need silence and solitude, just with each other and our remaining pets, who are also showing signs of grief.
But it is also pertinent because the Hoar Frost eventually thawed, and the willow came back to life in the spring; as we will too, once we have processed and sat with our pain. I know this.
I have been reading blogs today, and I was inspired by one to write a letter to myself about what I hope this year will hold, and what I hope for, and where I hope to be by the end of the year. For me that will be a good exercise because (as with all endings) I have been reminded (again) that life is short and to seize the moment. But I also know that what we think we want is not necessarily what we need.
It was not just a New Year, it is a new decade, and R/D and I had already decided to reflect on where we were ten years ago, and all the things that happened to us in our life. Not least moving here, and falling in love with Welsh Terriers. It is a poignant reminder that at the end of this decade they will not be here with us, another reminder to cherish every moment.
We will also reflect on what we have achieved, what we thought we wanted back then, and see how much of what we thought we needed we didn’t need at all. I will share some of that on here.
So today I am going to take the Christmas decorations down, it’s time to move into something new, and I am going to open my new journal (how apt that the other one ran out just as the new decade came into being!) and do my form of meditation. But not before I found out my journal from ten years ago and read what I wrote then.
Mellow New Year
Rosie
29 Sunday Dec 2019
Tags
crisp winter days, French Countryside, French sunsets, L'hiver, Nature, our French garden, quiet, Simple things, solitude, tge sound of silence, Welsh Terriers, Winter, wintry afternoons
I get to a point around this time if year, it’s like ‘no-mans land’, a ‘waiting time’, for this year to end and the new one to start. I start to feel lethargic because my sleep patterns have been disrupted, and more often than not it takes a while for them to settle back down. Well not this year, from tomorrow we are setting our alarm and slowly it will get earlier and earlier. For some reason I feel an urge to do things, I just don’t know what they will be yet.
So I am writing this in the garden, on a crisp, sunny December afternoon. The birds are chattering, the puppies are running around, and RD and I are enjoying an early glass of red wine.
I persuaded RD out here, I feel acutely aware of how it us so easy to just hibernate indoors at this time of year, when every season has something to offer, and we should always embrace it.
I also realised how much I like solitude now, just surrounded by nature.
Rosie
04 Wednesday Dec 2019
Tags
appreciation, being grateful, Blessings, Contentment, counting your blessings, Deepak Chopra, Dogs, French Countryside, French Winters, LIfe, Logs, mental health, Reflections, Rural France, silence, Simple things, Small things, Sunrises, taking time, The seasons, Welsh Terriers, Welshies, Winter, Winter in my garden, winter sun, writing
Winter arrived quickly, and for the past few mornings we have woken to frosts and temperatures below freezing, which means we are lucky enough to watch the amazing sunrises every morning.
We are up early for work, RD goes off and my day is full of the chores you have when living in an old stone house, in the middle of rural France, on a limited budget: the good old log splitting, hoovering, mopping, cleaning the kitchen, and today removing the mould that I occasionally grows on our old stone walls (I side). It’s just part of this life we chose, I don’t stress over it any more.
I have often said how winters can be long, and that we should all try and embrace this season. Today I took my advice. It is a cold, crisp, sunny winters day, and I am currently sitting in the garden on one of our garden chairs drinking tea; spending time with nature and my dogs.
I was pushing the wheelbarrow of logs across the garden, with the habit I fight every day taking pride of place: planning what I should do next, when I looked around and thought ‘what am I doing?’ I realised I should seize the moment on this glorious winters day, and take time to sit in the garden with my tea and spend time with my puppies, they remind me very day to cherish each moment.
Even Daisy the cat is giving me stinkeye because she wanted to come out and join us!
She looks like a Bond villain!
I don’t know how long I will live in this beautiful place, so I need to embrace it whilst I can, in every season.
As is my want, being brought up by people who worked hard to fill every day with work, to always keep going. As my counsellor said: I am a ‘doer’ I just will work and set myself what are often un-achievable targets, I don’t feel I have achieved if I don’t and often I don’t feel I have because the targets are un-achievable. Those ingrained habits are hard to break! Despite knowing that we should all take time; despite writing in my diary at the beginning of the year a quote from Deepak Chopra:
‘ set aside a little time every once in a while to experience silence…’
I still have to pull myself up short to do it. I probably achieve it once a month!
But today I have taken the time but sadly my teas is now finished, and the sun is now hazy, my fingers are cold and it is time to get on. Now where are my rubber gloves?
Rosie
