19 Thursday Mar 2020
Just a quick post before I go back off-grid.
In the light of the Covid19 virus putting us all on lockdown, I just saw this on Facebook and it made me smile.
Man thinks he has it all under control, but he doesn’t. Never underestimate the power of nature. Like I always say: someone else is doing the driving.
In my absence I recommend the following:
The Book of Awakening. Mark Nepo
The Alchemist. Paulo Coelho
Stay safe, be kind, don’t be selfish.
Rosie
17 Tuesday Mar 2020
At this time of immense change in the world (I really don’t think the world will be quite the same again and in all honesty I don’t think it should be.) I am sitting in my chair in the window and the spring sunshine is streaming in. Isolation has been imposed in France, and whilst we can shop for essentials only one person is allowed in the shop and you have to carry papers as well as passport to say why you are out and about.
I get it, they are trying to shut this thing down, and whilst I have never bought into the panic, it seems the sensible thing and I am happy to go with the flow. All things change and I am happy to accept change, anyone who reads my blog will know that. There is no point fighting against it, because it will come anyway.
So I am going back to work early. I am now in a care giving role, and have to go to the UK to give it. Care still needs to go ahead, people who are dependent will still be dependent, but with the daily changes I volunteered to go back early just in case. I recognise and care for a wonderful person and I don’t want to let them down. This means that I will be back off grid primarily for a week or so, so I will set up posts to go out there in my absence.
At the momentI am enjoying my time with RD, and hoping I will only be gone for 18 days. I’m cherishing the blossom on my old cherry tree, it will be gone when I get back; and it may be the last time I see her blossom: I will be leaving her here when we move on, setting her free from the pot and hoping she survives in the garden. I have had her nearly twenty years. But we cannot hold on, we have to let go.
So at this difficult time, here is something I borrowed from another post on Facebook. It says it all really.
Rosie
28 Friday Feb 2020
Tags
Change, charlatans, con artists, emotional intelligence, exciting times, Kittens, letting go of the rice, life showing the way, listening, Love, Mark Nepo, new beginnings, new jobs freedom, no internet, off grid, poor service, professional, Welsh Terriers
So here I am nearly two weeks in from losing our internet. I have now been off grid for 12 days, apart from one trip to good old Maccy D’s to pick up some emails, and there is still no sign of Orange repairing anything. In fact I was advised yesterday that the engineers do what they like, and Orange find them difficult to control, because there is a shortage of them. I find that ironic in a country where people need work, perhaps Orange should think outside the box and put some apprenticeships in place.
I cannot begin to describe how difficult is without the internet, and have lost count of how many times I have told people I am off grid but they then email me documents, or message me! We have an air printer that won’t work and it is frightening how we all rely on the internet now. What about all the people who cannot afford the internet, or the homeless, how do they stand a chance?!
The attitude of Orange is just another thing to make me reconsider France.
Much has happened, and decisions have been made. We are putting things in progress to make that move onto the next stage of our adventure. Life showed us the way in many ways: not least realising that there is so much negative energy generated in the ex- pat community in this area that it is like a beacon, and more and more shallow, insecure people are joining the throng. Just as Deepak Chopra and the book of Cosmic Ordering confirm the energy generated is the energy that comes back.
I have lived here five years, and written often about the people here. Being off grid has allowed me to sit and write my journal nearly every day, and clearly this was just what life had planned. I realised the level of negativity, petty jealousy and nastiness that underpins life here in this area, and I have come to many conclusions, including going back to the UK to work.
In the the book ‘ The Cosmic Ordering Service’ they explain that the left hand side of our brain (the conscious) can take in 7 impressions per second whilst the right hand side (the sub-conscious) can take in 10,000 impressions per second. It sees and understands so much more than your conscious brain, but we often don’t listen to it when it sends us small messages telling us which way to go. After writing in my journal I have come to the conclusion that there is a low level of emotional intelligence around me, generally. With everyone fighting for a buck, and undermining each other. It was time for things to change.
Writing my journal I realised that my sub-conscious had suggested something to me, a job, a while ago, but my left hand side of my brain had talked me out of it. But a few weekends ago we encountered people, and a level of ignorance and lies like we had never experienced before, which finally brought things to a head. We realised just how low people will go out here to get money. We have often had it said to us ‘Oh they’ve got money, you should charge them a higher rate.’ We have seen people over order building materials and take the surplus. Quite simply that is not us. Our rate is our rate, and we would no more over order materials than the man in the moon. In fact when a client recently gave us a tip for the good work we had done I told him I thought he had overpaid.
I am who I am and I am not, and we are not going to lose our integrity to live. If we lose that then we could have all the money in the world but we would not be living. Sadly if you don’t have emotional intelligence then you won’t understand that.
What happened was the straw that broke the camels back. We are not like these people and we don’t want to be associated with them, or even have them on our radar. To the point that RD said, ‘get me fucking out of here.’ To work out here we have to interact with the English, and apart for a select few, quite simply we don’t want to. It was a no brainer that I went back to the UK.
It isn’t just the salary, I realised when I wrote my journal just how much I have been starved of emotional intelligence, I am at risk of stagnating, and I cannot stand it any longer.
Then on Sunday some dear friends came to see us to tell us that they were moving back to England. It did and didn’t surprise me. They had been here the same amount of time as us, they had built up a community of ‘friends’. When I asked why, they too said it was because of the ex-pat community and how they too had been stabbed in the back.
I knew it was life telling us to move on. In addition my friend suggested a job for me in the UK which pays well, it was the very job I had talked myself out of only a few weeks ago. I knew it was life telling me to do it.
I have applied and I am now sitting in my seat on my way to my new job! (Hence the internet connection!) After the first conversation with my new employers I realised just how much I have missed intelligent professional interaction on a one to one basis, missed talking to others who are also professional in their approach. It felt as if the door had finally swung open, and the sun was streaming in.
It will mean having to leave RD for weeks at a time, and I will miss him and my puppies and kittens so much. But it will give us choices, it will give us the route we need to leave France and move on to Ireland. It will allow us the choice to only interact with those we want to interact with, it will give RD a break (not counting the lists of jobs I have for him!), it will give me interaction with professional people who are not only looking for a fast way to gain a buck, it will allow my brain to be used to its full potential, but, seriously, it will give us freedom.
Life will show us the way. It has confirmed it is time to go.
We have let go of the rice.
Wish me luck.
Rosie
13 Thursday Feb 2020
Tags
Belief, Brexit, Changes, emotional intelligence, Ireland, Irish citizens, life is an adventure, moving forward, Moving on, not getting any younger
We have decided that it is time to move forward. When I started to draft this post I did say ‘but not quite out of France yet.’ Now I am not sure if we will stay in France once we have moved from this house or make our way to pastures new.
I wrote last January about the discussion we had about whether to stay or not. Since then we have been reading ‘The Book of Awakenings’ by Mark Nepo, and so much of it has resonated with us. Not least letting go.
I believe we all hold on so tight to things sometimes, just like the monkeys who won’t let go of the rice in the coconut shell that has trapped them. So they die, because the hunters catch them. When all they had to do was let go, uncurl their fist and take their hand out of the coconut trap. ‘Let go of the Rice’ is now quoted at the front of my journal and also my diary.
Once RD and I discussed turning off from this adventure to a new one, once we ‘let go of the rice’ and the fear of failure; once we realised that we were not failures by doing things that the critics would fear to do, the things we needed came our way: more work, more understanding, which led us to also understand that it’s not just the work that is hard out here. It is so many other things beside.
My late dad, God rest his soul, was Irish. Born in Tipperary, called Patrick. As a result I am an Irish citizen. I have my Dad’s birth certificate and I am waiting for my long certificate to arive and I will then apply for my Irish passport. I have no sentimentality for my country, I am sad the turn it has taken over the past few years.
As a result Brexit will not affect me, not sure how it will impact on RD whilst living here, but I do know that once we move to Ireland he will also apply to become an Irish citizen. We are proud to be part of the European community. But that is not why we are moving. There are many reasons, being starved of emotional intelligence is one of them; but also we are not getting any younger, it would be easier to find work, or set up businesses in Ireland, and there is also the language.
Language is not as simple as just learning the words; there are the phrases, and sayings and slang and underlying meaning that all have to be considered. I can speak some French now, can even talk on the phone in some instances, but constantly it is extra pressure that to be honest as I am getting older I don’t need. I have a life to live and constantly translating beauracracy is exhausting and depressing.
We are not getting any younger; and whilst we are only fifty seven this year it may take a couple of years before we move, and if we leave it too late it will be too hard to do any other renovations, or start business. (I think I will be taking all I have learned in my cooking repertoire with me.) So now is the time, we think life has sent us enough messages.
Whilst we are here we will continue to love where we live, dance and sing with our wonderful friends and neighbours, and we will see as much of France as we can. I will forever have fond memories of our wingback chairs in our picture window, it is our favourite place to sit, and we always cherish the here and now.
We have talked a lot about it. We do believe that life shows you the way and where you should go, but right now, based on the here and now, we will be going to Ireland, with it’s beautiful countryside and no need to talk to only English people.
Let’s see what life has to say.
Rosie
02 Sunday Feb 2020
Posted in Goodbyes, mental health, People, Reflections
Tags
characters, Death, Goodbyes, loneliness, Love, old people, poignant memories
I was born on my auntie Edie’s thirty-third birthday. My poor mum, it was five minutes to midnight and auntie Edie was screaming at her to push! Because of the significance auntie Edie was told she could name me, she suggested Claire, and my mum told her to sod off! (I am certainly not a Claire!) So with the help and suggestions of the Doctor in attendance Moira was chosen (yep Rosie is my pseudonym).
We had our ups and downs auntie Edie and I, we were probably too alike! But in the midst of what could be an awful, belittling toxic family (with my mum being the youngest, so normally the one vilified and put down, and I being her youngest child) auntie Edie was the aunt who stood up for me; she was the one who told me not to listen to them when they said what a horrible child I was (my strong personality and toxic insecure people don’t tend to mix). She was the one who told me to ‘tip them arseholes!’ She was the one who always believed in me, along with my late uncle Mac, I loved him so. Even though he used to refer to me as ‘that little cow’, he was right I am!
When I was sitting my A’levels auntie Edie took me out to the rose garden of the affiliated working men’s club that she ran with my uncle Mac, and she helped me choose the roses to take to take to my exam and draw. She had an artist’s eye, and could sew, paint and knit anything she turned her mind to. I will always remember when she painted the ceiling of their Victorian flat a deep green, people thought she was mad, until it was finished, and stunning.
Like me auntie Edie could be a cow; she would argue and we argued, until she realised that I wasn’t like my mum, I wouldn’t capitulate and cry, I would stand my ground. I know that overall she loved me for that.
The memory of auntie Edie for me was when I visited her after RD had left Me. I was crying and said how I wanted to stop, she looked at me and said ‘why don’t you then?’ I did. She then gave Tom money to buy Kentucky fried chicken, because she knew I couldn’t afford it, and that he was struggling seeing his mum in the mess that I was.
That moment was a massive turning point for me at that time in my life, and auntie Edie features in my book in the days of our recovery. I had no mum by then, and she knew that, and she took that responsibility seriously.
I did visit auntie Edie once after I moved to France, the one time I have returned to the UK, I had to visit my favourite aunt, in the knowledge that time was limited.
Sadly auntie Edie died last night, alone as so many elderly people are nowadays. From what I understand she died in her sleep, a blessing in what had become a sad ending to her life. I have no doubt that uncle Mac, young and handsome came to collect her, and I will think of them, jiving in heaven.
Rest In Peace Auntie Edie I was blessed to have a character such as you in my life.
Moira
If anyone knows of an old person near to them who is lonely, please consider spending just half an hour a week with them, for companionship. Let’s change the world this year in small steps.
28 Tuesday Jan 2020
Tags
being grateful, Blessings, blue winter skies, cats, Contentment, Dogs, French Countryside, Inspiration, LIfe, Logs, Love of dogs, Nature, Rural France, Simple things, Small things, sunshine on windy days, The seasons, Trees, Welsh Terriers, Welshie, Welshies, Windy days, Winter, Winter in France, winter sunshine, writing
I am currently sitting in my spot that, it appears, so many people covet: my blue chair in the picture window of my house. I am driving Daisy the cat nuts because she chases light, and, with the brilliant winter sunshine reflecting off my iPad all around the room Daisy cannot resist the the urge to chase it; which then makes the Welshies chase her and chaos ensues. (They know their place with her though she’s also known as Daisy Pussy Upsy because she looks like a Bond Villain at times!)
Today is an incredibly windy day, with gusts of up to sixty kilometres and hour forecast. But where there is bad there is good and there is brilliant sunshine and phenomenally blue skies, one of those days that just blow the cobwebs in the mind away.
I have made the effort this winter to get out into our garden whenever possible, if only for fifteen minutes.
Since Molly died and we have started to consider moving on to pastures new, it has inspired me to treasure what I have in the here and now, with the countryside around me, and the two teddies that I am blessed to have running around my garden.
So today,after bringing in the wood I walked over to the field behind our barn on the other side of our chemin (lane in French), with two excited Welshies and Daisy the cat (she is also known as cat/dog) running around me.
I found myself just standing there looking across the garden, with the dogs snuffling, and Daisy, precariously balanced on a tree, and smiling.
There is nothing like hearing the wind rushing through the trees in bright winter sunshine, and I stood and I looked out and I took it all in.
Then I came back into the warm and shared it with you.
Let’s treasure the here and now.
Rosie
You can read our other other story about the things we went through that got us to today on my other blog.
25 Saturday Jan 2020
Tags
a little place to sit, being grateful, Belief, believe, birthdays, Blessings, contemplation, Contentment, count your blessings, counting your blessings, Dogs, Faith, Feeling blessed, French sunsets, good times, Happiness, Helping others, home, Inspiration, kindness, learning, LIfe, life shows the way, Life shows you the way, memories, mental health, positivity, Reflections, Rural France, sanctuary, Simple things, Small things, Tears, tranquility, understanding, Welsh Terriers, Welshies
This is the Table beside my blue wing back chair.
It is a place I sit often to write, manage our life, and just look at life; and this table holds many things I use: my journal, my diary, my iPad, my book, books I am reading, currently Mark Nepo ‘The Book of Awakenings’, and ‘The Road Less Travelled and Beyond’. It has become a little sanctuary to me, as I look out on my garden, often with a Welshie sitting opposite me.
I took the picture of my table last night because today is my birthday, and as I placed the flowers that RD had bought me on my table (where else would they go?!) with my cards, ready to open this morning, I realised how much this table encapsulates my life, and just how blessed I am.
I have no religion, or ‘God’. Perhaps my ‘God’ is life. I truly believe that life does show you the way, if you have faith. But as with all faiths sometimes it is hard to hold on to them. I will do another blog to show how life has shown us over this month to believe in it, and ourselves, but today I want to share a gift I was given by our client.
I have often written about the awful people we have worked for, but yesterday our client paid their bill and then gave us a tip on top! A tip that will enable us to buy wood for the rest of the winter. But it was not the actual tip that was the biggest gift, it was the fact that it reminded me that there are good and kind people out there. It bought tears to my eyes because of that, because of their kindness, and because it gave me a lesson, and it gave me faith.
I think I will chalk that up as one of the best gifts ever, along with my son turning up at Christmas: spiritual gifts not material ones.
Rosie
You can read our other story by clicking on the link at the top of the page.
Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect
23 Thursday Jan 2020
Tags
French Winters, growing and learning, Helping others, Making this better, trust, what adventures teach us, Winter Gardens in France, writing in the winter sunshine
I have been really busy since New Year helping H with a job. It’s coming to an end now, so now I have some time off.
My blogs have suffered, as has my social media interaction, but that will all be boosted again now.
My book seems to be doing pretty well, in fact it was positioned at 185,00 on Amazon best sellers rank on and off over the past month. Given how many books they sell I am taking that as a good thing; add to that the three 5 star ratings I have received this month and I am hopeful.
But I cannot sit on my laurels, promotion is the key so to add to my Twitter, Facebook (as Rosie Joseph) my Facebook page ”Making This Better’, and my Facebook Group ‘Making This Better’, I now have an Instagram page of the same name with followers going up each day. So after working with H all day I have been coming home and interacting with others all over the world.
I always knew, all those years ago, that my story would help others, our story would help others. What happened to us changed our lives, and I know some people will find it hard to believe, but for the better. If it hadn’t happened then I would not be sitting in my cold winters garden in France writing this blog.
But more than anything it is the wonderful messages that I get from people from all over the globe saying how my book has helped them; how they find themselves reading it and nodding and saying to themselves ‘that’s me.’
But you see I give them hope, because I am here now helping others, I am proof that you can come out the other side. Every message I get brings tears to my eyes, because I was there once, and I know their pain, and the messages are so wonderful, and grateful. The reviews on Amazon say it all really.
What has that got to do with this adventure? Everything. If we had not come here I would have been so caught up in the ‘rat race’ that I would probably never had time to write my book; and If I had, it may have had a less open perspective, given the crap I was putting up with in England.
In addition it shows that trust can grow, because RD and I had to trust each other to take on this adventure, and we had to work as a team to do it. As a result I know that we are changing other people’s lives, from what they tell me. We are giving them hope.
That’s got to be a good thing hasn’t it?
Rosie.
You can read our other story by clicking on the link at the top of the page.
Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect
23 Thursday Jan 2020
Tags
at one with nature, being grateful, Blessings, Change, Changes, Contentment, counting your blessings, Dogs, French Countryside, Happiness, LIfe, memories, Nature, Reflections, Rural France, Simple things, Small things, Welsh Terrier, Welsh Terriers, Welshies, Winter Gardens, Winter in France, winter sunshine
As I have said before I am trying to take the opportunity to spend time outside with nature, and my two beloved dogs.
It has been bitterly cold this past week in our rural area of France, and the thing with old stone houses is: they may look pretty but they are bloody cold if left without any heating in these kind of temperatures.
I have been working with RD this month, assisting and bossing him about. (I do the snagging in our business because I am a picky bitch!) So we have been freezing cold as we have not been lighting the fire until later, with the house eventually becoming warm and toasty just as we are going to bed!
But the job is coming to an end, so today I am at home, literally keeping the home fires burning. So the fire was lit this morning, and the house is warm, I have filled the log cabinet and RD can relax when he gets home.
Although cold it has been beautifully sunny and I have taken the opportunity to sit in my garden, at one with nature. Well as one as you can get it when accompanied by two Welsh Terriers!
But seriously the time I have with my dogs is never going to be enough; and being someone who always gets caught up in ‘the doing’, I need to remind myself daily to take a moment and enjoy the simple things in my life. Like sitting in the winter sunshine, with my dogs. 
We pretty much know that our time here will be limited, and that we are likely to move to pastures new. So I need to enjoy this beautiful place whilst I can, so that I have memories to take with me, and no regret.
Enjoy it all, no matter the weather, breathe it in….
Rosie
You can read my other blog by clicking on the link abive. It may surprise you.
Making This Better my book is also available in all good bookstores including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books and so many more.
20 Monday Jan 2020
Tags
catalysts, Death, Early Spring, hares, journals, keeping a journal, Reflections, Spring in France, symbols
As some of you might have guessed my dear old Mil Mol’s passing had left me with writers block on both my blogs. I needed some time to just allow things to be.
I have thought for a while that we were going to have an early Spring; the clematis in our garden are sprouting new leaves in anticipation of summer, and even in late December I noticed that the primroses were coming up early, and as I walked around our garden I could feel that Spring was just on the cusp, as if she was standing behind me waiting to step into view.
Today it is sunny and cold, with the temperature not rising above six degrees, but the sunshine is warm, and has heat in it, reaffirming that new beginnings are on their way. And as if to underline all that I felt, as I was driving home today a hare ran across my path. As you know from previous posts I love hares. I will take it as a good omen that prosperity is on it’s way and that there will be rebirth.
Hares also serve as a reminder to trust your instinct and know your worth. I shouldn’t be surprised given that today I asked life to give me some indications re something we are deliberating over;it sent a Hare to remind us of the lesson we learned: knowing our worth.
Molly dying made me stop and think, as I believe death should: it should be a catalyst to make you reassess. I haven’t done any of the journal writing I said I would in my previous post. I know I must, I know I want to, and given that a hare is often a symbol sent to you to make you stop and reflect, then clearly life is trying to tell me something.
I love France, and most things French, but this is not my last adventure, I know that.
I should go and write my journal now, the hoovering can wait!
Rosie
