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Category Archives: Reflections

A reminder:

08 Monday Apr 2019

Posted by in Friends, People, Reflections

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I do truly believe that life shows you the way. I know that some people will roll their eyes, but have you ever considered that for all the planning you do, for all the organising and lists and preparation for the future does it work out as you planned? Ever?

So with this in mind I want to write about my dear friend Rod Clarricoats. In January when I wrote my blog I said how a dear friend had been immediately there for me. ( read here ) I said how this person was an old friend the type that is just there in the background. I had not spoken directly to Rod for over thirty years, but he found me on FB many years ago and when I needed him, without prompting, he messaged me at a dark time. That was Rod: always there for you when you needed him, always kind.

I have said in  my post how he made me think about where I was and how lucky I was, and when I told him he was always a kind bugger he responded by saying that he was a now ‘a kind old bugger.’ He was the same age as me: fifty six.

We messaged each other a  few more times in February and he asked about the campsite I was thinking of setting up: and told me that he would be in France this summer and if he could he would come to visit.

Yesterday I found out through FaceBook that Rod died on Friday morning. I am ashamed to say that I had not seen his post on Facebook: a meme about not letting cancer win. From what his family have written Rod acquired an infection and died quickly. I was so shocked.

He had never told me that he was ill, he had still simply been there for me all these years later and now he was gone.

Years ago when we were at college together, and going to Soul Weekenders in Essex in England, Rod was one of my bestest friends: when my heart was broken he would pick me up and take me out; and even when I moved to Wolverhampton with my future husband (not the one I have now) he would visit my mum; sometimes being a bugger and taking a different girl each time! Over time we lost touch, our lives took different paths and Rod moved to Wales with his family. From his posts on Facebook he was a happy man, blessed with a loving family.

We met at college: we were never an item but I know that one of the things he loved about me was my strength of character. It was the beginning of the eightees so there we would be in our two tone jeans. I can remember arriving at college one day as the older year had finished their exams and leaving and there was Rod: with all his friends in the thick of it throwing flour, and shaving foam. As it progressed they bought eggs and cornered my dear friend Aud and I in the ‘girls’ loos and decided to ‘make us into a cake!’ Don’t get me wrong we had given as good as we got! I also remember my broken heart and Rod taking me and Aud to the pub on a Sunday night; and telling the said perpetrator of my broken heart to ‘sod off’ because he wouldn’t leave me alone. That was Rod!

So I am writing this post because Rod has reminded me (as he did in January) that you have to make the most of life; because you never know what it has planned for you.  I have many jobs to do around the house but I need to write and get my book out there. I feel that urgent need now because life really is too short.  With life showing me the way from the messages and contacts about what I have written it is important to help others in times of difficulty. I will dedicate my book to Rod.

I have cried for a man that I hadn’t seen in thirty years, and I am crying now, because I realise that I have lost one of the good people who have been in my life. If he were here he would tell me to shut up and get on with it, whilst giving me cuddle at the same time.

So Rod: you’ve inspired me to get this done. Thank you my friend.

Au revoir (because I know we will meet again one day.)

Moisy

freindship for Rod

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Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

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I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

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Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

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So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

what you needed at the time

We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

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And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

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Driven……Part I

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, People, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I have been notoriously absent from my blog; but I can assure you that I have not been notoriously absent from the internet! I have been absent because I have been building another two websites; and promoting, promoting, promoting.

You see as I explained to you all in earlier blogs things have been very difficult; things have happened to us to make us rethink life (as you know in my blog I shared I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now), included in that has been rethinking people and also rethinking us, and the people that we want to be on this adventure. It has been difficul but it has been constructive: it brought the Moisy that will never let anything beat her back; and by Christ I won’t!

So  I decided that we needed to make things happen ourselves: gone are the days when we relied on any ‘old boys network’, or even word of mouth from doing a good job, to get work. We had to stop waiting for things to come to us and go and find them instead: I had to put us out there. Rich is totally legal to work in France we even have assurance for his work (which a lot of people don’t) but we were being held back from advertising Rich on local FB sites because of the n’er do wells who always have something to say. Well d’ya know what? I am back and I am not letting people live our lives for us anymore. Hence the websites:

Rich’s wonderful website

On the back of my camping website I decided to make us a professional website for Rich’s handyman/painting & decorating business. I used the skills I have as a writer, and the knowledge I gained over the years of dealing with the public, to make this website for Rich; and then I put it out there for Rich. I have explained how Rich will do the prep work for decorating if someone then wants to do the painting (most people will tell you that they hate prep); and so much more. As a result Rich now has a job to start next week, he has already done some work for a client (who called him back to do more) and we have had over ten enquiries and other jobs are in the pipeline (all in 5 weeks.)

Inspired by it’s success I decided to turn my attention to my Etsy shop, that has been in the doldrums lately . So on a roll I then set myself a website up for my shop where people can buy direct. Here is one of my most recent stock items, I love him and he currently resides in my living room but I have to let him go. He is nearly 100 years old and I have to put my business head on.

But the thing is I  have loved doing it: I have realised that I have a talent for setting up websites, and I have loved doing what I am good at and learning a new skill in the mix;  more than anything I have loved getting results. My website went live last week and this is now on it’s way to South Carolina in the USA.

 

In addition I have always been complimented on my styling and interiors so I am now putting together vignetttes and styling tips on my website.

If you would like to see more then take a peep – I can source items as well and vide grenier season is starting.

Moisy’s shop petitefrenchfancies

you see I was not perpared to give up, we are as good as anyone over here (in fact we both have five star reviews for what we have done) and I am now using that to our advantage.

It has been so difficult that Rich seriously thought about going back to the UK to work; but now I have just started to advertise that he will in fact travel all over France fo work (providing there is a weeks work for him, not for small jobs). We have sourced cheap accomodation for him and this not only gives him work but also provides us with an opportunity to see more of France whilst earning money; because often I will meet Rich wherever he is for the last night and day (with the Welshies of course!) Or I will go with him. We both agreed that if you are going to go back to th UK then you may as well travel around France instead!

This will also stop us getting into what can be a rut of just doing the same ol’ same ol’ (more of that in another post about France and mental health).

As I have said I am back: I will still be kind to people but I will not put up with an ounce of shit anymore; as one of the n’er do wells found out when they put something very rude and unncessary on one of the posts for Rich’s site! I answered them, professionally but also assertively. As always with people who are manipulators she tried to say I was being aggressive, until others started to answer her and say how rude she was. But being professional and kind I stepped in and said that she had messaged me direct to explain and that it was all resolved. We got a job out of that!

Oh, and by the way – we fixed the roof! Ruch and I.

Like I said: Driven!

Look out for more posts folks, buttons are now available on each post with links to our sites.

Moisy

Driven Part II – When you’re ‘living the dream’

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside

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I wrote this blog and had it in my drafts ready to post. Then life took over and instead I posted about how we were seriously re-thinking our position.

Here & Now

In it  I was honest about whether we were going to stay. Looking back now, much of what I wrote in this post still applies: I am still on a roll, whatever we decide it could well take 2 years or more to sell our house so we still have to survive. Here is what I wrote: and what I have added and my additional thoughts since my last post is in bold.

I am on such a roll that I am hoping to inspire others to never give up; and more importantly stop ‘putting up’: with crap, with rude people, with unnecessary comments, with other’s putting you off, with things you don’t like……..

That still applies: I do want to inspire others. Even if we change what we are doing at least we have had the adventure. We have not stayed still we have took the chance. I know that many people (and one of Rich’s fears) will say how we failed. They need to be careful because it is highly likely that they will be the same people who want to play safe and not take that chance. That might be pointed out to them by me!

The same is true in that you should not put up with crap or rude people; or be put off. God knows the amount of time that Rich and I slogged our guts out to do a good job, because we wanted to and because we thought it would bring us more work in. But it never did with the exception of one lovely person (who I have only met recently) but that is another story. Rich and I have never been the type of people who just work for the money; we have to do a good job for our benefit, to feel good about what we have achieved. One of the things that will go into the negative column will be how many times that has been abused since moving out here.No more! 

We were in a bad place over the last few months, in fact I did not know at one point how we were going to pay our bills. But a series of unfortunate events made me stop and look and come out fighting. As a result: our bills are all up to date, we have a few months without worry; and I am confident that we will have more.

I am still confident of that, Rich’s website has been very successful; but…..

I said in my last post that I have been driven and I have. Driven……Part I Anyone who reads my other blog (the link is now at the top of each post) will know that when my back is up against the wall I will always come out fighting.

But in 2014 I had worked so hard doing things for other people (because as my counsellor told me: I was a ‘do’er’) that eventually my brain just burnt out; and as I have said, when first moved over here I was still ill. In addition I read the Tao, from which I got so much: don’t plan far ahead because what you think will happen never does (trust me that has been proved to me so many times.) Live in the here and now; always believe that what you truly need will come your way; all true, all something I still adhere to. But the version of the Tao that I read was a bit happy clappy (I must read Alan Watt’s take on it) and I tried to be kind to everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt; add that to being an empath and that was a mistake.

Now the old Moisy is back, the person who got promotion over 4 grades in as many years; the person who would wipe the floor with anyone who was unncessarily rude or unkind; I look back now at what I have been like and the behaviours that I have tolerated from people since moving out here and I have asked myself what the fuck I was doing!

So after setting up the three websites I have also had a major sale on my Etsy shop and now I am going to turn my attention to my book, which is what my other blog (see link at top of page) is about. I have been approached by a self publishing company to publish for a reasonable amount and it is my intention that this will take place this year. Like I said I am driven: I am driven by the people who read my other blog and say things to me like:

‘This post should probably be handed out to all of the new members of our unfortunate club.’ (WordPress)

‘Oh Wow! What an entry! So much feeling, insight, depth, honesty, self awareneess, courage, encouragement, just everything and I have felt almost all of it throughout this journey. Thank you for sharing! (Twitter)

And so many more……

Their comments have given me the confidence to know that my book needs to be out there. As I said in reply to the comment above I always intended it to be a book that people could use to support them, where people would highlight parts and re-read them when they were in a dark place.

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I recently watched a film about people who moved to France from England (Gemma Bovery) and a character said how people think that they will move to a rural area of France and everything will be just blissful; when in fact the reality is very different; it can be lonely (I am not lonely because as well as some close friends I have so many cyber friends now from this blog and my other blog.) and it can be boring. I will be honest that whilst I love where I live and the view it will not sustain me forever; and I now know that we will continue our adventure somewhere else. I am not afraid of that.

And as I have aleady posted in my previous blog this is likely to be the case. I am not bored as such: God knows there is enough to do with the cleaning and renovation alone. But I need to do more. I am  back and I am capable of so much more; and I need to be somewhere I can take that opportunity. 

It got me thinking and I looked up about depression in rural areas. It is not specific to France, but depression is often higher in rural areas; and France has the highest number of people taking anti-depressants in the world! (By population of course.) Iunderstand why: the taxes are high; the beauracracy is antiquated and needs to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming! We are currently being pursued for a housing tax on the house we rented for three months in 2015. We moved out in 2015 and yet they still try and get us to pay a tax on it for 2017!!! Despite numerous letters.

The countryside is wonderful, the birdsong second to none; but once you have seen it and experienced it for a number of years whilst it in itself will never be boring, all that comes with it: nothing to do, shops all shut down, bars not open past 9pm, sometimes you can go into to town and not see one person and that can be boring!  In our pretty little town there is only two restaurants/bars. Nearly all of the shops have shut down and the town in itself is dying, along with many others in France.

Even our dear friends believe this and were having a discussion in January about it; about how Ambrieres had a beautiful little bistro but it shut down, crippled by the taxes. So what is there in Ambrieres to visit? Once you have visited the two bars (one by the pretty bridge by the river but also on a busy road, one with it’s outside space in the car park! Really you could be anywhere you wouldn’t know you were in France!) what else is there to do? This is the case in so much of rural France. There is nothing there for the young people to go to so they don’t want to stay and move to the large cities. Thereby leaving the towns with mainly old people and families who do not tend to spend their money. It really is a very sad side of France and one I did not realise was as bad as it is until I moved here. This is not exclusive to Ambrieres most of the towns are like it, some don’t even have Boulangeries any more, and that is embedded in the constitution! 

Don’t get me wrong: when I first came out here I needed peace and quiet and tranquility. But now I am back to being me, whilst I don’t want to go headlong back into the fray I do need something more to occupy my mind, and I need to work. I miss really working. 

So back to being driven: This is why I will be finishing my book (I may get to travel). This is why I have set up the campsite, we can get to meet new people and make each day diferent; this is why I have advertised that Rich is available to work all over France, we get to see new horizons. Add to that at least once a month we are going to visit somewhere new, within a two hour drive; and take the Welshies with us. I live in France I need to see more of France, and whilst it may use some of our money who knows what the future holds, you shouldn’t sit and wait!!!

Whilst I am here I am know it is essential to go further afield and see some more of France, who knows what life will show me! 

I read recently that passion is about the love for the journey and being driven is about the destination. Normally I am all about the passion but right now I have to be driven for us to survive. So driven it is! 

Moisy

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I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now

30 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

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January sunrise In rural France 2019

My faithful followers of this blog may have noticed a distinct lack of blogging recently. There have been a number of reasons:

That I have been disenchanted with life (mainly people in it); that I have come to realise that I will have to lower my integrity towards people to survive, because I know that some people will take joy (sadly yes) if they read what I am going to write; and I have had to consider whether I was going to give them that joy; and mainly because I know that people love my positivity and I have felt very negative due to experiences since living here, that have now come to a head in the last couple of months.

I have come to realise that I have always tried to look at the positives to such a degree that I have not considered the negatives; and perhaps now I need to.

For the first time in a long time I wrote in my journal, and I reflected on our life here and realised that whilst I always try to look at the positive was I ignoring what life was showing me, by not acknowledging the negative as well? Our well ran dry, our water heater was not working properly, resulting in a huuuuuge bill, our roof blew off, our truck engine seized (despite being only 6 years old), work had been difficult and my! Have we had some humdinger employers!  And many other things, not least Tinky Tiny Tilly never coming home. (But if you look at the balance Wiglet the PIglet came to live with us instead.)

 On the Monday before my birthday I asked Rich if he wanted to stay here in France and he answered honestly that he didn’t know. So I set to writing my journal, and asked myself some honest questions. I know that people read this blog for its positivity but I always said I would say it warts and all.

As I lay there in bed with Rich snoring and asked myself if at that precise moment in time if I had won the lottery would I stay: The answer was no; but I have to emphasise it was at that precise moment in time.

So I started to consider other options in my head: moving to Spain, where it would be warmer and (my understanding is) the cost of living is cheaper. I considered moving back to England! The main problem with that was that we would want to live somewhere remote, and would never be able to afford to buy unless it was a shit hole! But I considered it, expressly Wales, where there is more countryside and less people. Then I considered Ireland; my dad was Irish, I have relatives there, the countryside is similar to France, and the properties are cheap. But most of all the benefit of Ireland was that they speak English.

I knew that to be realistic we really needed to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper because all of the things to consider would get lost in our heads.

But as always, even though I had lost my belief a little bit because it has been so hard, I believed that life would show me the way.

So on my birthday when I mentioned to a dear friend, who is there in the background, that I was considering our options they messaged me and immediately asked what’s up! They then pointed out to me how lucky we were and that they would move here in a heartbeat. They don’t know how much that simple comment meant.

As part of the numerous birthday wishes on FB a number of people said how I was living the dream; another friend excitedly posted that she was on the move, and when I responded she said that she was following my lead. My dear friend Mary has already ventured on a   big adventure and all of these people have been inspired by us; I felt a responsibility to them. And being a girl who always believes that life shows you the way I then started to wonder if this was life trying to make me think. Add to that our impromptu invite to the lovely neighbours, Rich’s FB site that I have set up for work resulting in him getting some work from it, I started to think that perhaps it was.

On Sunday we went for a windy walk down our lane and visited a farm where Marc’s uncle lived and loved until he died last year. It was sad, with the doors blowing in the wind no longer loved; but when I looked at how that man had lived it reminded me that I had come out here for the simple life, and this was it. What did I want?

 

On the walk Rich and I stopped and looked over the rolling hills and Rich looked at me and said ‘I can’t go back to England Mois, I cannot be surrounded by people.’ And I agreed, we had at least made a decision on something.

As the week has worn on we have come up with some other ideas to make some money that I am  now busy working on (let alone my blogs, and my book) and I am looking forward to what they may bring.

As I have always said life will show us the way.

We have both decided that we are not beaten yet; I mean, bloody hell, if you look at all of the obstacles that we have overcome to get to here we can do anything if we put our mind to it!

I have been honest in describing what happened to me re my mental health in England and in all honesty I think that I was still ill when I came over here. So I then became overwhelmed with the volumnious amount of paperwork that need to be completed; got sucked in by people who I thought were going to help me when in fact it was the opposite and I lost my mojo – which is that I take no crap from anyone.. But now I am back, I have lowered my level with regards to integrity and compassion, you get to piss me off three times and then your out! I can look after myself and others who are kind to me and I will not be beaten.

But part of this consideration is also that I have acknowledged that we are on an adventure – it was never set in stone – and if part of the adventure is to move to pastures new then life will show me that, and I need to not be afraid of it and stop beating myself up that I have to make it work here: to stop thinking that there are no other options. There are always options and right now I choose this one. Who wouldn’t?!

 

Then on Monday a darling friend (I have written of him before and the wonderful music he sends me) sent me this for my birthday; with a beautifully written card with it.

 

He also said to me on Messenger:

‘Remember Moi, we are the good ones, we too are the sensitive ones! We are on the bus, if the wheels fall off we just have to put them back on again!’

He is right, I am on the bus, my wheels on firmly back in place and let’s see where this baby takes us.

Watch this space folks let’s see what happens, and whatever it is I will Face Everything and Rise.

Moisy

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I have just used this quote in my other blog, but I love it so much and it sums up this post!

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It’s cloud’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Both sides now – Joni Mitchell 

Keep Going ….

17 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by in My home, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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I have been neglectful of this blog recently because my other blog https;//makingthisbetter.com has taken off again and I am now on target to achieve over twenty thousand views by the end of this week!

In addition the blog has helped me tighten my book and I am editing like a fury into the evening every evening.It will be published this year; even if I self publish.

But both of my blogs are important to me.  I think that the other blog has taken off, and taken over,  because sadly January is a month when most people find that their problems are compounded: perhaps it is because it is the new year and they can see no change in sight; perhaps it is because Christmas,and all the hype that goes with it, often makes people feel as if they should be happy; that they should put their problems to one side for a week or so (delude themselves that everything is happy) but inevitably reality kicks back in to bite them on the arse again in January, or even Christmas evening! Or perhaps it is because people feel that at this time of year they should consider change, should reflect, that they find that they have no option but to do just that; and they are afraid of what they may see. Hence the visits to a blog that may help them.

But this blog too can help them, it is real, it is reflective, and I noticed how some are also finding their way here from makingthisbetter, and I am glad, and they are welcome.

So on to why I thought that I would share with you this rose on this blog, my first blog, the blog that got me to where I am today with regard to my writing: This rose currently sits on my windowsill in my living room, and it overlooks the front of my garden and the wonderful view. I  bought this rose on the second but last weekend in November last year! I kid you not! Seven weeks ago!

We had no money, every penny counts (still does), but as I was leaving the supermarket a lady was there who represented a society for people with arthritis. They were asking for you to either buy a brioche (a form of sweet bread) from them, or a rose bud, and the money would be used to help people with arthritis who could not work and were on a low income. I could not afford it, but something made me buy this rose for two euro. I looked at Rich and said ‘I have arthritis, and I know we have nothing but surely we should all try and help other people.’ (Correction there we do have loads: each other to start, a house over our head, water, hot shower all of our blessings: you may want to read my ten consecutive posts around counting our blessings here is the first one Counting my blessings: Day one ) and I bought the rose.

And here is the rose: still alive, bloomed and still looking out over the view seven weeks after I bought it! I think that it is saying that it just loves it’s life looking out over the French countryside and it will stay as long as it can, it will keep going.

I did not realise the symbolism of a white rose, of which there are many, but two of them are hope, and new beginnings.

Every time I look at this rose I smile, because I know that it is a message being sent to me to tell me not to give up. For me it symbolises a number of things:

Hope – because it is still alive today, and it proves that anything is possible.

To enjoy the moment, enjoy life, whatever it holds; if you look at life there must be something positive in it. Only recently Rich and I have talked about the human brain being pre-disposed to see the negative and how every day when I wake, before I get up I say thank you:For Rich, for Tom, for my family, for my beautiful dogs, my cats, the roof over my head, running water, having a hot shower – back to the counting my blessings posts……!

But more than anything at what is a difficult time (there is always good and bad) this rose tells me to keep going.

And trust me, I will!

There will be more posts this week folks. I promise.

Moisy

Dawn….

11 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by in Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Sunrise form my garden January 2019

I have recently started to follow a new blog and it inspired me because every year the lady who writes it picks a word to live that year by. I have included a link to her blog below, it is inspiring.

After all of my pictures recently, and things I have learnt over the last year I have decided to pick ‘Dawn’. Because every dawn, every sunrise offers new opportunities, offers you the chance to leave things in the past and move into the new.

And living here every dawn, as I stand with my beloved cup of tea, makes me smile.

What will be your word for the year? And why?

Moisy

 

https://ainsobriety.com

Motivation during the French winter

08 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in My home, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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I have written many times about winter in rural France. I have said how people dread it, how it can be very grey (although that is one of my favourite colours!), and how work can be scarce to the point of non existence; add that to what can be one of the most expensive times of the year with fuel to find, and it can be hard.

A new year – a time of reflection

So this year we are approaching winter with a different approach, in fact this year we are approaching a lot of things differently, but more of that to come over the year!

Firstly we have wood, in our garden, our own wood. So we spend at least one afternoon a week chopping the wood (don’t get me started on the log splitter!). I enjoy it, I enjoy working with my husband, with the puppies running around us, and I find it rewarding.

Secondly we have decided to focus on what we can do, instead of what we can’t do. I believe if you keep going what you need will come, so since the new year we have done the following:

We went for our New Year day walk around the medieval city of forgeres

I said we are going to enjoy the winter in my previous posts, and I hope by doing this I will inspire others to just embrace each and every day.

Rich has decided to use his time, and has painted our toilet, and hung the radiator on the wall. We have decided that this is the year that we will take control and this is one way to do it. To decorate the house, with the paint we already have, and to do it well and how we want it. This house will be unrecognisable.

He has also re-arranged our living room, so that we take more advantage of the log burner with a ‘snug area by the tv and fire. I love it, it has gone from this……

To this..(dog leg not included!)

He has opened up the seating area at the other side of the room, and we have decided not to have a table. We never use it! So it’s going up for sale and we now have a huge amount of space. From this….

To this

We have a long list of jobs that we want to achieve this winter, pulling all the logs from the overgrown dead grass around them, decorate the hall, paint our living room and kitchen ceiling white (the leaking roof has been fixed, properly this time without any odious little people in sight!) and decorate both rooms. I am sure in-between all this work will come Rich’s way.

And last, but never least I will continue to cherish the scenes around me, because they keep me here. So here are some winter sunrises and sunsets from 2019.

Sunrise Ambrières-les-Vallées January 2019

Let’s be positive, and honest with ourselves this year.

Moisy

Sunset Ambrières-les-Vallées January 8th 2019

Let’s take time

04 Friday Jan 2019

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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My most favourite poems is ‘The Listeners’ by Walter de la Mare. I have loved it since I was very young, one of its themes being opportunity lost.

‘Tell them I came, and no-one answered

That I kept my word, he said…”

How often are we rushing so much that it is only when we lose what we treasure so much, that we realise we had not treasured it at all?

One of the other poems that has always inspired me, that I hear myself quote quite often, is the poem ‘Leisure’ by W H Davies.

‘What is this life, if full of care

We have no time to stand and stare?’

(If you would like to read it then I have added it to the bottom of this post.)

I also read a post today about social media, and how people take it literally, making them feel anxious and inadequate. In it the writer reflected on how years ago people had time for quiet contemplation, time to think without the bombardment of the world attacking them all the time. In fact years ago (many) when I was at school, we had a library session every week to just sit and read in silence. At the time I hated it, now I would embrace it!

All of this got me thinking and I realised that when I started to ‘plan’ in my diary/planner for this year I had not given myself any time to ‘stop and stare’. No time out, to just play with my puppies, even though I cherish every day because I know their lives are too short, and I should treasure every moment.

I also know that when I was ill that was all I was ‘allowed’ to do was stop and relax, because my brain had become totally overloaded, and I had lost the ability to stop thinking!

The wonderful Deepak Chopra tells us to set aside a little time each day to experience silence, and contemplation at the very beginning of ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’.

So I have crossed out my day chocked full of things to do, and I have written in between my jobs and aspirations, ‘play with dogs’, take dogs for a walk, sit in silence, and I have given myself ‘space’ each day.

Do you?

Moisy

WH Davies – Leisure

WHAT is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare?— No time to stand beneath the boughs, And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass: No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night: No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance: No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

Off By Heart

bbc.co.uk/schools/teachers/offbyheart BBC©2008

Counting My Blessings: Day 10

02 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, People, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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So here I am on my final post of the ten day series Counting My Blessings and I am going to cheat, I am counting three in this post, and will put it under the heading ‘My Family’.

First let’s talk about my son Tom. I chose this picture carefully because he is on top of a peak in the Lake District in England, with the sun behind him, and for me it symbolises how he can do anything he wants, he is young, and his life is in front of him with every opportunity available should he wish to take it.

I am proud of him: how he has coped with mum and dad moving to France, has pursued his dream of working in the gaming industry and has never given that up. I don’t think he realises just how much strength you need to pursue your dream, and exactly how much strength he actually has.

He is full of fun, empathetic and learnt his lesson to walk in others shoes and is loved by so many people. I am proud of him.

Now my second blessing, my sister. She will kill me for putting this photo on, but she has to be in this, not least for the support she has given Tom over the past four years. The second photo is of Tom and I, with Tom getting ready to walk her down the aisle.

We have had our ups and downs, as sisters do! She thinks she’s always right ( and annoyingly more often than not she is!) But she is always there, she cares, and Tom would not have his dream job without her tenacity and love.

Now last but never least:

My husband Richard.

If any of you have read my serialisation of my soon to be published book (it will happen this year whatever) https://makingthisbetter.com you will know how Rich I and sailed The Ocean of Despair for a long time, to get to where we are today.

This man fought tooth and nail to keep me; he evolved because he wanted to, not because I asked him to; because I never did! After what happened he had to keep up with me, I wasn’t going to wait for him!

And every minute of every hour of every day he did.

I once had someone say to me that they ‘had never had a man look at them in the way Rich looks at me’ and that was true, I know I am truly blessed to have that in my life.

He is a kind and gentle giant, who enabled me to trust him enough to come on this adventure. He makes me laugh every day, literally every day, with his dry sense of humour, and silliness.

Everyone he meets loves him, because he just sees the funny side of life. Look at him in this picture, he is so naughty he has led them all astray.

I am blessed to have this man in my life, he is sensitive and loving; strong when I need him. I could not be on this adventure without him. We are blessed to be as strong as we are now, and we both count that blessing every day, and NEVER take it for granted.

I know he will cry when he reads this; and that just makes me love him even more.

So my final blessing, my family, but more than that: the pride I have for my son, the hope I have for him too.

The understanding I have of my sister, and the respect too. My book wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her!

The respect I have for my husband, the love I have for them all. I am truly blessed.

I hope you have enjoyed this series; And I hope it has made people think about the small things, because, trust me, they are the things that keep you going in life. So in this New Year, please take time to stop, and see the small stuff.

Moisy