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Category Archives: Reflections

Understanding yourself: Me

04 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by in Dream, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I have shared on this blog that the year before we came out here I stood on the precipice of having a full breakdown, and I did have a mini one. I have written about how I can be driven, which in some ways is a good thing and essential, (more of that in another post) and yes, being that type of person is a blessing. But it can also be a curse, when insecurity creeps in through the crack in the open door.

Without my strong personality my book would not be out there, and my Blog would not have been so successful, but more than that so many people would not have found something to give them hope in their hour of need.

But despite that I also remember my counsellors words well when she told me I was a ‘doer’, and that if I didn’t learn to utilise, but control, that part of my personality it could actually destroy me.

Living here has been hard in that I now have arthritis and work is limited for me; because I cannot do the things I used to do; and you see for someone like me to not be able to have something to focus on means that I feel as if I have lost myself. I have always needed something to define me: in the UK it was my career, which virtually destroyed me, but coming here and trying to find something else proved difficult.

But last year life shook me up and showed me the way: I started the Other blog and it took off. I always knew that sharing our story would help others, and now I know it has. As I have written in previous posts it jolted me back to being me, it gave me impetus, and all the things I have worked on: H’s website for the business, the Facebook page, and the business itself, which is doing better than it ever has, was as a result of me finding my impetus again; or as I have said: being driven. The blog reached 96,000 views in a year and I was in control of what I was doing: which is something I love.

But once the book was published the control was taken away from me to a degree. Yes I could promote it, increase my media presence, but I would never actually know any stats for how well the book was doing until the royalty cheque fell on the mat; and that for me was a problem. It was what was keeping me awake at the beginning of the week; I had to relinquish some of the control, and I had to trust the fact that someone else was now doing the driving. I knew it, I knew it was going to be the case but my brain remained active and kept me awake because I couldn’t control it.

I still keep a journal, as I have written on the other blog my journal was at one point the book that saved my life, but I don’t write in it often now, the two blogs tend to work for me. But as I have said they are still not the same as keeping a journal, which is a place where you don’t worry about your audience, because your audience is you, and so you have to be honest.

After my last post I knew that I had to write my journal, that was the key to sleeping. So I did: I had a frank conversation with myself: that the blog had and still is, doing so well why would the book fail? I reminded myself of all the comments I have received from all over the world:

‘Thanks for your amazing insight it helps me to understand how to stay strong through all of this.’

‘This! I need to read this today!’

‘When I am having a hard day sometimes I go back to Rosie’s blog, and it helps me get my demon under control.’

I told myself that I need to have a little more belief in myself, and I was honest with myself that at times I doubt myself and I questioned why. I wrote about the power of belief, but despite that when things are out of our control our belief begins to falter, and the strength is in pulling ourselves back up, and holding on.

On Wednesday night I slept soundly. I have always wanted to be able to meditate, but have struggled. So when I recently read a post from the Fabulous Biscuit factory blog I realised that writing my journal is a form of meditation for me. I put my pen to paper and I just write, and then I read what I have written and my mind is clear.

So in knowing that life shows us the way yesterday I found my book for sale in Waterstones, and stocked in Gardners. I knew that meant that the book was doing well, and it helped me a great deal, I also knew that life was telling me to hold on to my belief which was confirmed when we met a new client with the business last night: they work in the book world and when I said that the book is stocked in Gardners they advised that before that could have happened Gardners would have done their homework: they only stock books that they think will sell!

So I will do all the hard work I need to and support and promote my book, (of course I will) but I will give myself a timeframe every day, and some days I will step back from it. After all someone else is doing the driving! I know that!

Rosie

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Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

As I sit here

22 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure, Us

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It is just after nine on a Monday morning. Rich aka Danny (I will need to unlink this blog!) has gone off to work, and I am left contemplating.

I just had one of those moments that you get in life, where the sunlight coming through the window, and the silence, and the clocks ticking, the birds singing, and my beautiful Welshie boy asleep on the chair, made me stop and commit this moment to memory.

It is one of those moments where you are reminded that the simple things are the most precious.

Rich and I are back to ‘do we stay, or do we go’. We sat yesterday evening in the garden and we talked about what we want, or that we don’t know what we want, but we do know some of the things we don’t want, and it got me thinking:

I have said many times that we need to write down some of the things we discuss, because being a journal keeper I know that writing something down gives you clarity; and also reminds you how quickly what you thought you wanted can change.

I have been absent quite awhile because I have been concentrating on my book (under the pseudonym of Rosie Joseph) and the blog linked to it has just hit over 72,100 views with over 11,000 visitors. Every day I wake up a voice in my head says ‘you need to get that book out there before you can make any decisions.’ Every day when someone messages me to say how my blog helps them: the lady yesterday who told me she was going to buy a journal, because my blog inspired her; the lady who told me that after reading one of my posts she knew that going back in time was not going to help her; the people who say you have put into words how I feel, at a time I cannot understand, they all inspire me to get that book out there; because I know it will change lives, including ours.

So is now a time to be making decisions? Not yet. I finally got there, the book is going to the publishers today.

Lets see what life shows us.

Rosie (aka Moisy)

My favourite time of year

09 Tuesday Jul 2019

Posted by in Reflections, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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This time of year has always been my favourite time of year, with warm weather and Wimbledon, for me it has always epitomised summer because of the fond memories that it brings back.

I don’t remember when I really got into tennnis, but I do know that Bjorn Borg was a major factor in converting me, and I became an avid tennis fan when I was fourteen. I can especially remember the summer of ’77, when the weather had been hot (something to be treasured in England) and the championships had been thrilling: with Borg constantly taking us through five set matches whilst we sat on the edge of our seats.

One particular evening my mum and dad had gone ‘up the club’ as we used to say, to have an evening out, leaving my eighteen year old sister and I indoors watching the tennis. It was a hot evening and Borg was playing Vitas Gerulaitis, I lay on the sofa periodically jumping up whenever Borg scored a point. The match was a thrilling five set match that played late into the balmy evening.

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My dear Dad had left us with some money because the ‘Ice Cream Man’ normally came to our lane on a Thursday evening, and as we watched the match we could hear his chimes as he came up our lane. I can remember my sister pulling rank on me and insisting that I went out and queued for the ice creams whilst she watched the match.

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Running out as fast as I could I beat all the young kids and getting to the front to the queue so that I could get back to the match,  and decadently buying us both an Oyster Ice Cream each , considered the queen of ice creams back in the 70’s.

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I just remember that time to be such a happy time: my mum and dad were getting on and not arguing, my school life was going well and I had started to gain the confidence that I would take with me for the rest of my life; the weather was good and the tennis was better. Borg went on to win that year.

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It’s funny how particular things resonate with you; I watchWimbledon every year but if you ask me to think of a match it will always take me back to that balmy Thursday evening in Essex when life was innocent and good.

I never thought at that time that one day I would be watching the tennis in my house in France. I suppose it goes to show that if you believe, and face your fears,  life really can be an adventure; and your memories go with you wherever you are.

Have a good day.

PS: A song to make you smile

 

Rosie

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Dreams

22 Wednesday May 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The good life

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When we were planning to move to France I had a little dream in my head: I pictured myself sitting in my garden writing. I had some pretty clothes on and a jaunty French scarf around my neck, and the sun was shining. So as I sit here in my garden today, writing this blog, the sun is shining, and I am in paint spattered clothes (hey you can’t have everything!) and I realised that my dream has come true.

I am editing my book, surrounded by tranquility and birdsong, with two sleeping Welshies at my feet and 3 sleeping cats around me.

I realise again that my dream has come true.

My book is half way edited from the printed version (so much you cannot see when it is on the laptop!) and I will be contacting a publisher on Friday. My blogYou can read it here just hit 50,000 views, with over 8,000 visitors.

I always knew our story would help others, and from the interaction and feedback from the people who read it I was right. Someone once told me to ceremoniously burn my journal one day; but I always knew I couldn’t because it is part if me: keeping that journal made me the person that I am today.

It brought a tear to my eye today. Dreams can come true, you just have to believe in them.

Moisy

Moving forward – Coming back

25 Thursday Apr 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, My home, Reflections, The background story, The continuing adventure, Us

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When we undertook this adventure what I did not see was just how much it would show me: with regard to the way I look at life. Since moving here I have read the Tao, still not completed reading ‘The Road Less Travelled and Beyond’, and I have touched on the great ‘regarder of life’: Byron Katie. I have learnt a lot from them all. In addition living here has given me the peace and tranquility that I needed to find myself again, I have written before that I am back, but never really fully explained why. You can read some of my posts on this here

As  most of my readers know due to the pressures of my job in England, and being an empath, I eventually became very ill from stress. I did not realise just how ill I was until I fully recovered this year.

As part of this adventure I have written my book ‘Making This Better; and I have serialised it on another blog (you can click on the link at the top of the page.) I always knew that the story of what happened to Rich and I would help others, and serialising my book has proved to me that this is the case. (Nearly 10,000 views this month alone and on it’s way to 42,000 views in seven months.) But more than anything as I re-read some of my journal entries from so long ago they have showed me the one true asset that I have had all my life: my strong personality. In fact in one of my journal entries I have commented how I was fighting ‘the essence of me’ to stay with Rich. You can read this entry here

As I have said in that post when I read it I had tears in my eyes, because I knew that I over the intervening years I had suppressed it and I realised what an asset I have been given in my life. The teachings of the Tao are to be kind, that is true; but they are also to turn the other cheek, and with that I cannot always agree. This adventure has shown us people who will take advantge of that, I have written about them often; and perhaps all of those experiences was life telling me to take back the one thing that God gave me that mattered: my strong personality. you can read about some of the lessons here

and here

and here

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Now when I read what I said all those years ago, knowing that I have taken back my strength, I feel that I am finally where I need to be with regard to what to do with life. Since doing this, it has been as if life is saying ‘thank Christ for that! She has finally realised what she has to do, now I will help her’: and since then Rich’s business has started to take off. I said many years ago that integrity was a commodity out here; and now I am managing his Facebook page and have designed his website, which I am also promoting Rich is doing well, and I believe it is because we are being us and using the skills and integrity that we have. We don’t rip people off, we do over and above what is needed and we can be trusted not to steal.

One of the things that really got to me since living here was that people can be so vicious, especially when it comes to hustling for work; we were in some ways afraid to put Rich’s services out there because of what they would say (this would never have been me before my illness!)  and so we relied on others to offer us work. Now I am back that is not working for me: I want us to get our own work, I know what we are capable of as a team and I don’t want to be beholden to anyone.

In  addition I will not put up  with an ounce of unnecessary shit from anyone. Now if people want to  be rude to us, or try to undermine us, then I will answer them right back, in a professional and businesslike,  sometimes terrifying way.  In fact I  already have, and we got a job out of it. I find nastiness unecessary, and whilst I understand that often it is because people feel insecure or vulnerable, we all have to step up to the plate, if you are feeling vulnerable then find out why and change it; stop taking it out on everyone else.  I am not unnecessarily nasty to anyone:  unless they are nasty to me!

The other day I was saying about something to Rich and about how I was not prepared to put up with it and he giggled; when I looked at him he said ‘I love that so much about you: that you won’t let anyone beat you.’

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We have also realised that when you undetake an adventure like this, many people  who are afraid to do the same are often waiting for you to fail; add to that you also feel like you ‘have’ to keep plugging away at it because you chose to make such a huge change, and because of that you fail to see that the whole point of an adventure is change: when you embark on it, and when you are in the midst of it. As part of me coming back this year, Rich and I have been honest with each other in that we didn’t know if we would stay: and from that we then realised that was all part of the adventure to make change as we needed.

A few weeks ago I met a couple who were returning to the UK. As you know I have blogged about the fact that I was reconsidering whether I wanted to continue our adventure here in France, or whether to move to pastures new (although we know that England will not be an option.) This lady said to me that she had loved living here, but that they had been here twelve years and she believed that life went in ten-year cycles: when it is then time to move on to something new; and it got me thinking: I do believe tha life is about moving forward all the time; perhaps it is also about accepting that when we get itchy feet we should listen to the message that life is sending our way.

When we moved to the Pays de Loire area of France four years ago we chose this are because we had holidayed here twice, and we loved the peace and tranquility. We loved it because we were having a break from out two notoriously hectic careers; mine even more so. England is a notoriously crowded Island: you queue  to go anywhere even to the supermarket; and I wrote very early on in this adventure how people in the UK generally seemed so angry. All of these things led us both to want somewhere in the rural countryside, where life was extremely laid back and was not overcrowded with people and so we made the choice to move to the Pays de Loire region. I have come to realise that at that time that is what we needed; and you can only ever make life choices based on what you have in the here and now.

3 Rules All Great Leaders Follow When Facing Change

The last four years have been glorious they have replenished me; I still love my house and the beautiful countryside around us, but as I have written recently I am back to being the real Moisy and I don’t think in the long-term that will be enough. I now need a little more stimulation, I am ready for it again. Who Knew that would happen?

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A winter sunset from my garden in France 

It has made me consider that perhaps we all hold on too tightly to things, and don’t embrace the fact that life is a constantly evolving adventure. Now that is something that I learnt from the Tao: no matter how much you plan, no matter how many contingencies you put into place life never goes to plan.

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Add to all of this my book which means that I now interact with people whose lives have been turned upside down, as ours was many years ago; and I can see that was another life event to make us stop and change direction with our lives (we had been together nine years!) It was also an event that we have now been able to use to help other people; and I never thought that I would encounter so many wonderful people as I have. Who knew?

When I moved into my house in Kent all those years ago I thought it was my forever home; and now I am here: in France. Who knew?

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Now I have come to realise that life does go in cycles, and only by embracing that knowledge can you truly find peace. So the biggest lesson I have learnt: We make decisions based on the here and now (as we should) and given that we should all expect change as the here and now changes!

I  know that whatever decision we make we will make it based on the circumstances at the time and that in the future when those cirucmstances change we may well adapt and decide to do something different.

THAT is life.

So here is the thing that I have learnt so far from this adventure:

Understand that when you make a decision in life it is based on what you need at that time; but over time your needs will change, you will change, and it is okay to change direction, change your adventure and move on to something new. It is not failure it is in fact strength and bravery.

Never let go of any strength you have, if you have been blessed with it use it for all your worth: look at what has happened to us this year since I have got all my strength back. Don’t let others undermine your strong personality, it is your asset and they are envious.

So here is to strong personailities, here is to the adventurers, here is to changing direction when it is needed, or every ten years, here is to listening to life.

I am never saying never about staying here; because I do not know where my life may change again, as I said to Rich who knows what we will be doing this time next year!

I’m just going with the flow because I know it will take me where I need to go.

Moisy

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The view from my garden in France 

 

A reminder:

08 Monday Apr 2019

Posted by in Friends, People, Reflections

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I do truly believe that life shows you the way. I know that some people will roll their eyes, but have you ever considered that for all the planning you do, for all the organising and lists and preparation for the future does it work out as you planned? Ever?

So with this in mind I want to write about my dear friend Rod Clarricoats. In January when I wrote my blog I said how a dear friend had been immediately there for me. ( read here ) I said how this person was an old friend the type that is just there in the background. I had not spoken directly to Rod for over thirty years, but he found me on FB many years ago and when I needed him, without prompting, he messaged me at a dark time. That was Rod: always there for you when you needed him, always kind.

I have said in  my post how he made me think about where I was and how lucky I was, and when I told him he was always a kind bugger he responded by saying that he was a now ‘a kind old bugger.’ He was the same age as me: fifty six.

We messaged each other a  few more times in February and he asked about the campsite I was thinking of setting up: and told me that he would be in France this summer and if he could he would come to visit.

Yesterday I found out through FaceBook that Rod died on Friday morning. I am ashamed to say that I had not seen his post on Facebook: a meme about not letting cancer win. From what his family have written Rod acquired an infection and died quickly. I was so shocked.

He had never told me that he was ill, he had still simply been there for me all these years later and now he was gone.

Years ago when we were at college together, and going to Soul Weekenders in Essex in England, Rod was one of my bestest friends: when my heart was broken he would pick me up and take me out; and even when I moved to Wolverhampton with my future husband (not the one I have now) he would visit my mum; sometimes being a bugger and taking a different girl each time! Over time we lost touch, our lives took different paths and Rod moved to Wales with his family. From his posts on Facebook he was a happy man, blessed with a loving family.

We met at college: we were never an item but I know that one of the things he loved about me was my strength of character. It was the beginning of the eightees so there we would be in our two tone jeans. I can remember arriving at college one day as the older year had finished their exams and leaving and there was Rod: with all his friends in the thick of it throwing flour, and shaving foam. As it progressed they bought eggs and cornered my dear friend Aud and I in the ‘girls’ loos and decided to ‘make us into a cake!’ Don’t get me wrong we had given as good as we got! I also remember my broken heart and Rod taking me and Aud to the pub on a Sunday night; and telling the said perpetrator of my broken heart to ‘sod off’ because he wouldn’t leave me alone. That was Rod!

So I am writing this post because Rod has reminded me (as he did in January) that you have to make the most of life; because you never know what it has planned for you.  I have many jobs to do around the house but I need to write and get my book out there. I feel that urgent need now because life really is too short.  With life showing me the way from the messages and contacts about what I have written it is important to help others in times of difficulty. I will dedicate my book to Rod.

I have cried for a man that I hadn’t seen in thirty years, and I am crying now, because I realise that I have lost one of the good people who have been in my life. If he were here he would tell me to shut up and get on with it, whilst giving me cuddle at the same time.

So Rod: you’ve inspired me to get this done. Thank you my friend.

Au revoir (because I know we will meet again one day.)

Moisy

freindship for Rod

Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

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I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

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Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

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So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

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We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

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And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

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Driven……Part I

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, People, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I have been notoriously absent from my blog; but I can assure you that I have not been notoriously absent from the internet! I have been absent because I have been building another two websites; and promoting, promoting, promoting.

You see as I explained to you all in earlier blogs things have been very difficult; things have happened to us to make us rethink life (as you know in my blog I shared I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now), included in that has been rethinking people and also rethinking us, and the people that we want to be on this adventure. It has been difficul but it has been constructive: it brought the Moisy that will never let anything beat her back; and by Christ I won’t!

So  I decided that we needed to make things happen ourselves: gone are the days when we relied on any ‘old boys network’, or even word of mouth from doing a good job, to get work. We had to stop waiting for things to come to us and go and find them instead: I had to put us out there. Rich is totally legal to work in France we even have assurance for his work (which a lot of people don’t) but we were being held back from advertising Rich on local FB sites because of the n’er do wells who always have something to say. Well d’ya know what? I am back and I am not letting people live our lives for us anymore. Hence the websites:

Rich’s wonderful website

On the back of my camping website I decided to make us a professional website for Rich’s handyman/painting & decorating business. I used the skills I have as a writer, and the knowledge I gained over the years of dealing with the public, to make this website for Rich; and then I put it out there for Rich. I have explained how Rich will do the prep work for decorating if someone then wants to do the painting (most people will tell you that they hate prep); and so much more. As a result Rich now has a job to start next week, he has already done some work for a client (who called him back to do more) and we have had over ten enquiries and other jobs are in the pipeline (all in 5 weeks.)

Inspired by it’s success I decided to turn my attention to my Etsy shop, that has been in the doldrums lately . So on a roll I then set myself a website up for my shop where people can buy direct. Here is one of my most recent stock items, I love him and he currently resides in my living room but I have to let him go. He is nearly 100 years old and I have to put my business head on.

But the thing is I  have loved doing it: I have realised that I have a talent for setting up websites, and I have loved doing what I am good at and learning a new skill in the mix;  more than anything I have loved getting results. My website went live last week and this is now on it’s way to South Carolina in the USA.

 

In addition I have always been complimented on my styling and interiors so I am now putting together vignetttes and styling tips on my website.

If you would like to see more then take a peep – I can source items as well and vide grenier season is starting.

Moisy’s shop petitefrenchfancies

you see I was not perpared to give up, we are as good as anyone over here (in fact we both have five star reviews for what we have done) and I am now using that to our advantage.

It has been so difficult that Rich seriously thought about going back to the UK to work; but now I have just started to advertise that he will in fact travel all over France fo work (providing there is a weeks work for him, not for small jobs). We have sourced cheap accomodation for him and this not only gives him work but also provides us with an opportunity to see more of France whilst earning money; because often I will meet Rich wherever he is for the last night and day (with the Welshies of course!) Or I will go with him. We both agreed that if you are going to go back to th UK then you may as well travel around France instead!

This will also stop us getting into what can be a rut of just doing the same ol’ same ol’ (more of that in another post about France and mental health).

As I have said I am back: I will still be kind to people but I will not put up with an ounce of shit anymore; as one of the n’er do wells found out when they put something very rude and unncessary on one of the posts for Rich’s site! I answered them, professionally but also assertively. As always with people who are manipulators she tried to say I was being aggressive, until others started to answer her and say how rude she was. But being professional and kind I stepped in and said that she had messaged me direct to explain and that it was all resolved. We got a job out of that!

Oh, and by the way – we fixed the roof! Ruch and I.

Like I said: Driven!

Look out for more posts folks, buttons are now available on each post with links to our sites.

Moisy

Driven Part II – When you’re ‘living the dream’

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside

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I wrote this blog and had it in my drafts ready to post. Then life took over and instead I posted about how we were seriously re-thinking our position.

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In it  I was honest about whether we were going to stay. Looking back now, much of what I wrote in this post still applies: I am still on a roll, whatever we decide it could well take 2 years or more to sell our house so we still have to survive. Here is what I wrote: and what I have added and my additional thoughts since my last post is in bold.

I am on such a roll that I am hoping to inspire others to never give up; and more importantly stop ‘putting up’: with crap, with rude people, with unnecessary comments, with other’s putting you off, with things you don’t like……..

That still applies: I do want to inspire others. Even if we change what we are doing at least we have had the adventure. We have not stayed still we have took the chance. I know that many people (and one of Rich’s fears) will say how we failed. They need to be careful because it is highly likely that they will be the same people who want to play safe and not take that chance. That might be pointed out to them by me!

The same is true in that you should not put up with crap or rude people; or be put off. God knows the amount of time that Rich and I slogged our guts out to do a good job, because we wanted to and because we thought it would bring us more work in. But it never did with the exception of one lovely person (who I have only met recently) but that is another story. Rich and I have never been the type of people who just work for the money; we have to do a good job for our benefit, to feel good about what we have achieved. One of the things that will go into the negative column will be how many times that has been abused since moving out here.No more! 

We were in a bad place over the last few months, in fact I did not know at one point how we were going to pay our bills. But a series of unfortunate events made me stop and look and come out fighting. As a result: our bills are all up to date, we have a few months without worry; and I am confident that we will have more.

I am still confident of that, Rich’s website has been very successful; but…..

I said in my last post that I have been driven and I have. Driven……Part I Anyone who reads my other blog (the link is now at the top of each post) will know that when my back is up against the wall I will always come out fighting.

But in 2014 I had worked so hard doing things for other people (because as my counsellor told me: I was a ‘do’er’) that eventually my brain just burnt out; and as I have said, when first moved over here I was still ill. In addition I read the Tao, from which I got so much: don’t plan far ahead because what you think will happen never does (trust me that has been proved to me so many times.) Live in the here and now; always believe that what you truly need will come your way; all true, all something I still adhere to. But the version of the Tao that I read was a bit happy clappy (I must read Alan Watt’s take on it) and I tried to be kind to everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt; add that to being an empath and that was a mistake.

Now the old Moisy is back, the person who got promotion over 4 grades in as many years; the person who would wipe the floor with anyone who was unncessarily rude or unkind; I look back now at what I have been like and the behaviours that I have tolerated from people since moving out here and I have asked myself what the fuck I was doing!

So after setting up the three websites I have also had a major sale on my Etsy shop and now I am going to turn my attention to my book, which is what my other blog (see link at top of page) is about. I have been approached by a self publishing company to publish for a reasonable amount and it is my intention that this will take place this year. Like I said I am driven: I am driven by the people who read my other blog and say things to me like:

‘This post should probably be handed out to all of the new members of our unfortunate club.’ (WordPress)

‘Oh Wow! What an entry! So much feeling, insight, depth, honesty, self awareneess, courage, encouragement, just everything and I have felt almost all of it throughout this journey. Thank you for sharing! (Twitter)

And so many more……

Their comments have given me the confidence to know that my book needs to be out there. As I said in reply to the comment above I always intended it to be a book that people could use to support them, where people would highlight parts and re-read them when they were in a dark place.

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I recently watched a film about people who moved to France from England (Gemma Bovery) and a character said how people think that they will move to a rural area of France and everything will be just blissful; when in fact the reality is very different; it can be lonely (I am not lonely because as well as some close friends I have so many cyber friends now from this blog and my other blog.) and it can be boring. I will be honest that whilst I love where I live and the view it will not sustain me forever; and I now know that we will continue our adventure somewhere else. I am not afraid of that.

And as I have aleady posted in my previous blog this is likely to be the case. I am not bored as such: God knows there is enough to do with the cleaning and renovation alone. But I need to do more. I am  back and I am capable of so much more; and I need to be somewhere I can take that opportunity. 

It got me thinking and I looked up about depression in rural areas. It is not specific to France, but depression is often higher in rural areas; and France has the highest number of people taking anti-depressants in the world! (By population of course.) Iunderstand why: the taxes are high; the beauracracy is antiquated and needs to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming! We are currently being pursued for a housing tax on the house we rented for three months in 2015. We moved out in 2015 and yet they still try and get us to pay a tax on it for 2017!!! Despite numerous letters.

The countryside is wonderful, the birdsong second to none; but once you have seen it and experienced it for a number of years whilst it in itself will never be boring, all that comes with it: nothing to do, shops all shut down, bars not open past 9pm, sometimes you can go into to town and not see one person and that can be boring!  In our pretty little town there is only two restaurants/bars. Nearly all of the shops have shut down and the town in itself is dying, along with many others in France.

Even our dear friends believe this and were having a discussion in January about it; about how Ambrieres had a beautiful little bistro but it shut down, crippled by the taxes. So what is there in Ambrieres to visit? Once you have visited the two bars (one by the pretty bridge by the river but also on a busy road, one with it’s outside space in the car park! Really you could be anywhere you wouldn’t know you were in France!) what else is there to do? This is the case in so much of rural France. There is nothing there for the young people to go to so they don’t want to stay and move to the large cities. Thereby leaving the towns with mainly old people and families who do not tend to spend their money. It really is a very sad side of France and one I did not realise was as bad as it is until I moved here. This is not exclusive to Ambrieres most of the towns are like it, some don’t even have Boulangeries any more, and that is embedded in the constitution! 

Don’t get me wrong: when I first came out here I needed peace and quiet and tranquility. But now I am back to being me, whilst I don’t want to go headlong back into the fray I do need something more to occupy my mind, and I need to work. I miss really working. 

So back to being driven: This is why I will be finishing my book (I may get to travel). This is why I have set up the campsite, we can get to meet new people and make each day diferent; this is why I have advertised that Rich is available to work all over France, we get to see new horizons. Add to that at least once a month we are going to visit somewhere new, within a two hour drive; and take the Welshies with us. I live in France I need to see more of France, and whilst it may use some of our money who knows what the future holds, you shouldn’t sit and wait!!!

Whilst I am here I am know it is essential to go further afield and see some more of France, who knows what life will show me! 

I read recently that passion is about the love for the journey and being driven is about the destination. Normally I am all about the passion but right now I have to be driven for us to survive. So driven it is! 

Moisy

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