Memories are popping up on my Ipad. This one was from September 2016. It was the first time we experienced the ballon race that took place (cancelled the last two years) in this area. The balloons would land in the valley after flying past our garden. In fact one crashed into our huge oak tree one year. I had that surreal moment when a man stuck in the top of a two hundred foot tree looked down and shouted ‘Bonsoir’. There was not nothing to say but ‘Bonsoir’ in reply.
The little girl in the front of the photo is the daughter of our lovely neighbours Manu and Lucie. She is almost a teenager now, how time flies….
Rosie
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Selling houses is stressful, there is no doubt about that. But more of that on future blogs. Just to say the Compromise de Vente (which means a commitment to sale) has finally been signed by our buyers, and we are due to sign next week. There will then be a ten day cooling off period for the buyers, fingers crossed it all goes well.
Due to the stresses it has been easy to forget that we only ever live in the here and now. So last week as RD and I sat in the garden in some bright autumn sunshine, I reminded him that we should make the most of our impromptu tea break because when we go to Ireland we are both going back to work, which means the time for impromptu tea breaks on any day will be gone. That we should treasure how much time we get to spend with the Welshies, because we won’t have as much time as this in the future.
Later in the week we lit our garden fire, and took two of our garden chairs to just ‘sit’ and watch the flames. We are both in the frame of mind that we just want to leave France now, but we should treasure the moments when we sit under some of our majestic oaks, with the dogs, and enjoy the peace and solitude that you can only find in nature.
Today we were invited to our lovely neighbours Manu and Lucie, for aperitif. We spent a couple of hours with them, playing drafts with the chess set we retrieved from our barn, a gift to our son many years ago and never touched. Trying to teach them,and us,chess with the language barrier was just too great! Their eight year old son loved it, and a relaxed fun couple of hours was had.
RD has been struggling with everything that’s been going on, but when we returned he said ‘that has really lifted me, today,’ I looked at him and said ‘That’s what I mean about living in the here and now, we give so much focusing on what we want in the future we fail to see what we have now. We let it go, and we stop enjoying it.’ RD looked at me and said ‘I understand.’
Happy Sunday folks
Rosie
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On Friday France went back into total lockdown. It’s more organised than the first, meaning Marie’s and official offices are open, but it also means that non-essential businesses have had to shut. (Or what are deemed non-essential, not quite sure who makes that decision! )
I am forever grateful that I chose to give up my job when I did, because the possibility of me being trapped on the Illes de Manche (Islands in the Sea) was great. I can’t afford that now when we are selling up.
I was going to update on the move, but in fact I am going to write about my local community and the current mood in France due to the second lockdown.
The 1st of November is La Toussaint, All Saints Day, and it is a bank holiday because it is taken so seriously. The French take chrysanthemums to the graveyards as a gesture of thanks to those they have lost. It is a revered day, but today the French are united in protesting against the second lockdown and its implications. (I would say for France but it is across the world.) Today they are mourning the loss of all they believe in… Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.
This is a Facebook post from today, posted by our dog groomer. Because the second lockdown was imposed so suddenly she worked from 7am until midnight on Thursday. Now she does not know when, or if, she will re-open. She shared photos of the protest that is currently taking place in Mayenne, on this revered day, on a Sunday, by all the small traders such as her, and by the shops that are classed as ‘non-essential.’ In fact as I write this social media is reporting that it is spreading to all towns across the region.
Choosing to do this on this day is a clear indication of the French mood. This time they have placed the wreath and chrysanthemums to mourn the loss of commerce and equality in France. To mourn the loss of freedom.
The French have had enough. It is safe to say that Macron will not get in again. The French people are resilient people, especially in the vast areas of countryside such as here. They do not believe that ‘lockdown’s’ work, and I agree with them.
I have not written a lot about this Pandemic, I did share Kev’s Post , which so many people were too afraid to read (I know frightening to believe we are being controlled. But we are.) I find it more frightening that people are allowing their fear to prevent them from seeing what is clearly in plain site. Some may want to listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIHoNT_PklY&feature=share
Others, of course may not.
But now I am showing solidarity with my host country, with people worldwide who are losing their livelihoods, their homes, unable to feed their children, let alone themselves.
Fight Against the Unfair Competition
If you look at the plaque on the bottom of the wreath it says that it is to mark the death of commerce. That is what the French are mourning today, and I mourn with them.
I am sharing the story of the protest in the small town of Mayenne about the handling of this pandemic, in the hope that others will start to protest, will start to question why you can go into a pub but can’t drink alcohol (Scotland). Why you can go into a shop and buy food but you can’t buy clothes (Wales). Why you all have to be home by 9pm. Why? Can’t you catch the virus before then? In fact the French are calling the virus The Vampire Virus, because it only comes out at night! Or let’s talk about masks, for all the ‘you should wear a mask vigilantes out there’ because they’ve really worked haven’t they?
I am questioning why we have to protect the NHS when people are dying of cancer, due to cancelled appointments, undiagnosed conditions, and so much more. Do you really believe that cancelling chemo for a cancer patient is to save their life and stop them from dying from Covid? So they can die of cancer instead then? Then they can be added to the stats for all those who have died. It’s a disgrace.
I am questioning why some people think it’s okay (in their naive little world) to say that feeding children is the responsibility of the parent. Is that the parent who works in a pub, or has just lost their job, who was a flight attendant or cabin crew. God forbid we should have any sympathy for children of drug addicts, or alcoholics, or disabled people whose benefits have been cut! You might be picking up I am not into the ‘I’m alright Jack!’ Mentality.
It is time to consider, no matter how frightening, how huge the impact of economics is. The people who have lost their jobs will not be able to buy the things they used to buy, thereby impacting on other peoples jobs when they see a reduction for the need of their services. Mental health problems will increase, meaning a surge of acute health problems, because it is recognised that mental health has the greatest impact on physical health. What will happen to the NHS then?
Just some things to think about. I have been tested many times, and to date have not caught the virus, but if I do, I do. I would of course isolate from others and use my common sense, unlike some of our leaders across the world! And yes I may die, but I still count freedom and liberty as more important than protecting me when I could get run over tomorrow.
If you read the history of Pandemics, the second wave was inevitable, and herd immunity is crucial. If you don’t want to read up on it, because you are afraid this may frighten you more.
I ask the question: What’s the plan for when we come out of this lockdown?
Vive La France
Rosie
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These are the flowers that our lovely neighbours bought for us because we had invited them to a soiree last night. As I sit here this evening I still have a slight hangover after much hilarity was had. But more than anything I feel a sense of poignancy.
I have written often about our neighbours, mainly Mark and Nadia and their friends and ours, Michelle and Martigne, how they have helped us so much in our time here. We have been truly blessed.
Last week we were approached by them regarding the option of buying the barn and the land behind it separately from the house. We fully understand why: they are concerned re who buys our house, and whether they will allow Mark to park outside the barn, as we do, or will put a fence up, or quite simply not be part of the community as RD and I have been.
Our attitude has always been that we are blessed to live in France and as such should do our best to get on with our French neighbours. When in France do as the French do.
Last night we invited them all to a soiree, only this time we also invited Lucie and Manu our other set of neighbours. They have always been friendly but reserved (or is that us that have been reserved? As the good old British tend to be at times!) We had a fab night and our lovely neighbours told us how they would be so upset to see us leave. in fact they do not want us to leave, they want us to stay. They told us how they were so happy in how we had fitted in with the community and they are now so worried about who will live here next.
I cried, they cried, I have tears in my eyes now. What a fabulous thing for people to say to you, to feel about you, and I know that RD also feels very sad.
The Barn sale probably won’t come off, but that doesn’t matter we still had the opportunity to spend time with these people who have become our friends. So much so we are having an end of summer BBQ at the end of August.
I think it is fair to say that both RD and I feel a tremendous sense of responsibility. RD said today how our decisions make such an impact on others, like ripples in a pond.
I have just written in my journal..
‘A lot of change, a lot of things to consider, a lot of people’s lives will be affected when we move. I just didn’t realise how much. ‘
Rosie
Wiglet, letting Marc know she loves him
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It’s been a difficult few weeks, mainly because I was triggered after returning to work, and I didn’t even realise I now have things that will trigger me.
This is my first job since I was ill six years ago. I was told then by my counsellor that I am what is known as a ‘doer’. It means I will always get things done, and do them well. The downside of that is that I will often be asked to do things because I can be relied upon, over and over again, piling the pressure on. This time I was told that I was being given a job because I was good at something that others struggle with, it was meant to be seen as a compliment, but I saw it as flannel. I am too old for that. But the most frightening thing was that my brain went into high alert, silently screaming ‘Oh no! It’s happening again, I cannot do this any more!’ It literally went into flight mode and I had no control over it. That is a frightening place to be.
Within a week I was in a depression, I could feel myself falling and I couldn’t stop. RD was so afraid because by the SaturdaymI had stopped answering my texts and communicating other than with my work face on.
But then work sent a co-worker to assist me and she was a breath of fresh air. She listened, that simple, she listened; and she made me laugh. In fact I started to see that the women who came to assist me in that second week were all brilliant in their own way. But more than anything they were kind, so kind.
So rather than dwell on negatives I will focus on the positives from this difficult time. I have changed their names in anagram form as much as possible here goes…
To Tan, who brought me new socks to wear because I had sent all my socks home, on the hope that the normal ferries would be working. I had to go home on Boaty McBoatface again, at 5am in the morning, so they were a Godsend. Also a big thanks for your support and making me laugh.
To Elvis, she will know who she is. Her ways brought me back, gave me something to smile about. What you saw was what you got, straight talking, but kind. Supportive in every way. She finished my last week off by buying fresh Jersey Royal potatoes and bringing them to me to bring home to RD. Then she came to see me with a freshly baked lemon drizzle cake that she made at midnight the night before, for RD. It’s the best lemon drizzle cake I have ever eaten.
Then there is Rhoma, who brought me two books, and we set up a chick lit book club. A lovely lady, who helped me understand it wasn’t me.
There is the lovely member of staff, who when I got upset cried with me, and hugged me. That small thing meant so much.
It all made me realise that I work with a wonderful group of people, who don’t have the recognition they deserve.
I am home now, sitting in my garden, treasuring this view. This will be our last summer here. The house is going on the market next week. Busy times.
Rosie
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The sea is the most beautiful turquoise blue today, and this view never ceases to take my breath away. I have made new friends, despite being at work; and I have giggled every day. Drunk more hot chocolates than I normally would, seen nearly every beautiful beach in Jersey. But I am not home, and in the words of Neil Diamond from the fabulous song ‘Heartlight’: ‘
‘Cause everyone needs a place And home’s the most excellent place of all’
Thirteen years ago Rich sang that song, and he cried as he struggled with where we were at that time. I have loved that song ever since.
How often do we all get caught up in the crap, and not see what is front of us? Right now, at this difficult time in the world I think it’s a good question to ask.
I am currently in a very difficult situation; people feel challenged, and behaviour reflects that, and I am caught up in twenty-four seven, as is the nature of my situation. Add to that not being able to go home, and not being able to see when I can go home, a d I started to get down. So this has been a test for me, where I have had to put into place all that I have learned, philosophically, over the past few years.
I am not going to lie, a week last Wednesday I could have cried.
But I reminded myself to see the positives: Another step closer to Ireland, and to not focus on the negatives. I wrote my journal, put some coping mechanisms into place (namaste) because I knew that the only person who was bringing me down was me! I have the skills to deal with this, and I knew that life was testing me to see exactly what I had learned.
I reminded myself that I could either let things get to me, or not. The only person who could control it was me!
So last night when I was talking to RD and he told me of someone who he had worked for who had taken a turn for the worse with regards to an ongoing illness (other ailments are available); and also of how France is now predicting a recession not seen since the second world war, I felt ashamed for moaning about my situation.
I have spoken often about the difficulties in people finding work in France, and most of those from the UK who work are self-employed, just as RD is, and live hand to mouth, just as we have been. Consequently there is no work for the builders, plumbers, handymen, gardeners, painters and decorators, and so on in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. What is often a difficult situation anyway is now a thousand times worse.
RD and I already knew how lucky we are that I have this job (and a big shout out to a close friend for helping me) but last night that really kicked in when RD said that someone had put on a Facebook site that they were down to their last two euro fifty, and asked if anyone could help.
We know that feeling, we know how hard it is. The person was not in our part of France or we would have given them some money. We have lots of debt to pay, and catching up to do, but even ten euro would help in a situation like that. Can you imagine not knowing how you will feed those you love?
I know some would think that they may have been conning people, but it was good to see many didn’t, and offered food parcels and help. At this difficult time surely we need to let the cynicism go, and just help in any small way.
More than anything the conversation helped me to focus: I am lucky, as always life sent me what I needed, and I can assure you I am not complaining now. Whatever is difficult for me I will be sucking up and getting in with it.
So now I urge others who are feeling down because of what’s going on, let’s think of all those struggling to eat, feed their children, or their animals, who are stuck in flats, or in an abusive relationship, who have mental health problems, those who are living in fear, lets not lose site of the bigger picture, and help others where we can. To just count our blessings and use that to keep ourselves going.
That’s not to say if you’re feeling low to not have a good bawl, breathe deeply, and get back to it.
My God I know I have.
Namaste
Rosie
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RD are still apart! The island of Jersey has no boats, or much else, to take us home. The earliest booking you can make is the 1st of May. Given I have been back over since the 19th March, and on day fourteen of twenty-four hour work I can tell you that the 1st of May looks like a looooong way away!
Anyhow a quick little story to wet your appetite for more posts to come. RD went to the local Super U shop yesterday for a few things, mainly for the animals because we have come to realise we spend more money on them than we do ourselves!
Needless to say he had to queue. All the chariots (also known as shopping trolleys) had been taken away and as you got to the doorway and a shopper left a young girl took their chariot, disinfected it, and passed it to the next shopper who had finally reached the door. All duly waited their turn. Then…. lunchtime arrived! The girl went of to lunch without a word, until the disgruntled French in the queue began gesticulating with their arms. At which point she came out, said ‘ I am going to lunch’ and left the French to a free for all for trolleys – disinfected or not!
Covid 19 clearly stops for lunch!
I think that just about sums this whole thing up! I know you couldn’t make it up!
Rosie
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As always life shows you the way. I do have a strong belief in that. Some people struggle with it, because sometimes life shows us a way that we don’t want to go. But my belief is strong now: ‘someone else is doing the driving’, to quote the late great M Scott Peck.
Serendipity is my favourite word, and I have written about it in some of my previous posts , really it is associated with fortuitous events but I am not going to take its literal meaning today, I am going to look at it in a different way:
Our French friends are very ‘handy’, it is clear that they can turn their hands to most anything and that includes cars. In fact one of them was a mechanic before he retired. RD suggested that he ask them about replacing the tyres (pneau in French) on our van, and about the rattle we have had for the best part of this year. RD had already asked someone else (an English person) who had said it was the brake discs because the pads needed replacing. Asking our French friends was a learning curve as they looked at RD as if he were mad because he was asking about a cameon (van) and they were not aware we had a van. So a conversation ensued about RD having a van and where was it! It transpires that small vans such as ours are classed as cars over here, no wonder people have been looking at us like weirdoes when we tell them we have a van!
As most of you know money is tight and at this time of year especially; so RD just thought they may suggest something for January. But no! Immediately they were there to help, there is no waiting over here, and Saturday morning RD was at Cheeky’s (our nickname we use for him) with the van being inspected. Now this is where serendipity stepped in:
The rattling noise from the van, that we have been driving all over north west France in, was in fact a loose screw on the drive shaft! At any moment it could have come away as we merried along the winding roads of France, and killed us! Now some would see that as bad luck not good. It depends on how you look at things I suppose, I believe serendipity stepped in: The French took over, made us take the van to Cheeky’s house and found the real culprit.
But it didn’t end there our tyres were in fact dangerous and this morning RD is in Mayenne, with the assistance of cheeky, sorting out the tyres. No we cannot afford them, but we cannot afford to wait either; our French friends have said they need to be done NOW and at one point on Saturday they weren’t going to let RD take the van home. When RD came home he was worried about our budget, but we both looked at each other and said ‘That’s life showing us the way!’
Now RD has called to say that the tyres and break pads have been done, and Cheeky will not take any payment for the work. He has told RD No: because we are their friends. Now that is life showing us the way.
You just have to listen, even when you don’t want to hear. What we need will come to us. I believe.
Rosie
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Man thinks he has it all under control, but he doesn’t. Never underestimate the power of nature. Like I always say: someone else is doing the driving.
