Tag Archives: Making this better

Understanding yourself: Me

04 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by in Dream, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I have shared on this blog that the year before we came out here I stood on the precipice of having a full breakdown, and I did have a mini one. I have written about how I can be driven, which in some ways is a good thing and essential, (more of that in another post) and yes, being that type of person is a blessing. But it can also be a curse, when insecurity creeps in through the crack in the open door.

Without my strong personality my book would not be out there, and my Blog would not have been so successful, but more than that so many people would not have found something to give them hope in their hour of need.

But despite that I also remember my counsellors words well when she told me I was a ‘doer’, and that if I didn’t learn to utilise, but control, that part of my personality it could actually destroy me.

Living here has been hard in that I now have arthritis and work is limited for me; because I cannot do the things I used to do; and you see for someone like me to not be able to have something to focus on means that I feel as if I have lost myself. I have always needed something to define me: in the UK it was my career, which virtually destroyed me, but coming here and trying to find something else proved difficult.

But last year life shook me up and showed me the way: I started the Other blog and it took off. I always knew that sharing our story would help others, and now I know it has. As I have written in previous posts it jolted me back to being me, it gave me impetus, and all the things I have worked on: H’s website for the business, the Facebook page, and the business itself, which is doing better than it ever has, was as a result of me finding my impetus again; or as I have said: being driven. The blog reached 96,000 views in a year and I was in control of what I was doing: which is something I love.

But once the book was published the control was taken away from me to a degree. Yes I could promote it, increase my media presence, but I would never actually know any stats for how well the book was doing until the royalty cheque fell on the mat; and that for me was a problem. It was what was keeping me awake at the beginning of the week; I had to relinquish some of the control, and I had to trust the fact that someone else was now doing the driving. I knew it, I knew it was going to be the case but my brain remained active and kept me awake because I couldn’t control it.

I still keep a journal, as I have written on the other blog my journal was at one point the book that saved my life, but I don’t write in it often now, the two blogs tend to work for me. But as I have said they are still not the same as keeping a journal, which is a place where you don’t worry about your audience, because your audience is you, and so you have to be honest.

After my last post I knew that I had to write my journal, that was the key to sleeping. So I did: I had a frank conversation with myself: that the blog had and still is, doing so well why would the book fail? I reminded myself of all the comments I have received from all over the world:

‘Thanks for your amazing insight it helps me to understand how to stay strong through all of this.’

‘This! I need to read this today!’

‘When I am having a hard day sometimes I go back to Rosie’s blog, and it helps me get my demon under control.’

I told myself that I need to have a little more belief in myself, and I was honest with myself that at times I doubt myself and I questioned why. I wrote about the power of belief, but despite that when things are out of our control our belief begins to falter, and the strength is in pulling ourselves back up, and holding on.

On Wednesday night I slept soundly. I have always wanted to be able to meditate, but have struggled. So when I recently read a post from the Fabulous Biscuit factory blog I realised that writing my journal is a form of meditation for me. I put my pen to paper and I just write, and then I read what I have written and my mind is clear.

So in knowing that life shows us the way yesterday I found my book for sale in Waterstones, and stocked in Gardners. I knew that meant that the book was doing well, and it helped me a great deal, I also knew that life was telling me to hold on to my belief which was confirmed when we met a new client with the business last night: they work in the book world and when I said that the book is stocked in Gardners they advised that before that could have happened Gardners would have done their homework: they only stock books that they think will sell!

So I will do all the hard work I need to and support and promote my book, (of course I will) but I will give myself a timeframe every day, and some days I will step back from it. After all someone else is doing the driving! I know that!

Rosie

Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

That Friday Night Feeling

24 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Food in France, Making our own way, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I wrote in my introduction to this blog, many moons ago, that I wanted to inspire other people to take that adventure: to make that leap. I commented on one of my early posts about how I did not want to just ‘sit and wait for God’. That is still true, and as part of the process we have been going through I came to realise this week that I miss  structure in my life. You know: the thing that gives you that ‘Friday Night Feeling’: that feeling that you get after a hard week at work and you come home on that Friday night, knowing that now the next few days are your own. You can change your routine, get up later, have a beer (or a glass of wine) have something special to eat (ours was always a Friday night dirty kebab) you can just breathe.

So if you are thinking of freedom from the boring and mundane; freedom from the ‘hamster wheele of life’, freedom to do what you want when you want to: to have long endless days stretching out in front of you: careful what you wish for.

I have come to realise as part of this adventure that because I am a ‘doer’ I always need to be ‘doing’. I always need to do a good job, I need to do the best I can, I need to do. As I have said I was still ill when I came out here (from doing too much!) but one of the lessons I have learnt from this is that I still have to do something.

I also know that there has to be a balance: my old job was a job that chewed me up and spat me out: I worked so hard that it consumed me; so it is about finding that balance; and if we can continue to live without rent or a mortage perhaps part-time work will be the way forward for me, or my book…… or writing my new book!

I came to realise this because Rich has been at work all week: not coming in until after seven each night and it has given us structure. It has also inspired me to put some structure into my life so that, whilst still living here, I  too can find a sense of fulfillment and have that ‘Friday Night Feeling.’

I had it this week, not least because Rich would be with me for the weekend; but because I have worked hard also: I have moved logs across the garden ready to split, I have split all the logs we cut last weekend; I have promoted our Etsy shop, I have polished and cleaned out the living room to within an inch of it’s life; but more than anything I have worked on my book, including promotion, for over twenty five hours. I know that whilst I am here  I have to complete my book and get it published. Who knows that may change my direction again!

I believe in my book, I know that it helps others because they tell me so. This week my serialisation of it on my other blog  hit over thirty thousand views in total since I started writing it less than six months ago: with over seven hundred in one day this week alone. There has been a furore on social media and I am now committed to getting this done. I want to do it, I believe in it.

Serialisation of book

So back to our Friday Night Feeling: Rich came home, with his money in his wallet, pleased to finally be earning again. We opened a bottle fo wine and relaxed and I rustled up one of my kebabs that I have learnt to cook since living over here. We found something to watch on the TV and sat down (late because it was Friday night after all!) with our kebab on our laps. Wonderful!

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Then Bam!!! Out went the lights, off went the telly, and we were in total darkness. A good old power cut! Picture the scene: we were not to be deterred so we got out some old headlamp torches (you wear them on your head) and sat eating out kebab by torchlight! Not the best but it could have been worse: It could have happened when I was cooking it! We have just had a new meter fitted and worried that it could be faulty until we looked out of the window and realised that there was not a light to be seen across Ambrieres. Our good old neighbour and friend, Marc, resolved it for the community but we were without it until mid-day on Saturday.

I am now writing on a Sunday, because I want to share with you all, who are going back to work tomorrow: if you didn’t have that work where would you get the structure from in your life? Because trust me it is hard to implement it yourself.

Have a good Sunday folks and be grateful for what you have got.

Moisy

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Change – You’re never the driver..

04 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, The continuing adventure

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Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’.

Times they are a changing. Bob Dylan

So I said very early on in the year that ‘Times they are a changing’ (to quote Bob Dylan). In fact at the beginning of the year I just found myself playing this song as I wrote at my desk; and change they are in many ways for us, in fact they have in many ways already.

It is fair to say that this adventure has changed so many things for us, but this blog is about all of the things that I didn’t envisage:

Firstly we didn’t envisage getting Harley five years ago, but fate made us change our holiday plans, book a gite with the person who bred him, who in turn contacted us when he needed a new home.

When we moved here with Harley our love affair with Welsh Terriers had begun but didn’t envisage getting ‘The Wiglet’, her other homes failed, or fell through and it was because we were destined to get her.

This in turn led Karen to get Dylan, and write a blog about her antics (Dylan’s Welshie World) which in turn led Karen back to her first love – writing.

As you all know we are changing material things, the gate, the roof, having water. There are other changes in the pipline and they will include, at some point, a new joint blog and again this will change our lives and others. I didn’t envisage any of this when this year started.

Then I think of the sprititual changes that this journey would take us on: That I would read the Tao, then read it to Rich, and Karen, although at times  she does still have  ‘Tao Light Thursday and No Tao Friday’! The belief that we have got from reading that philosophy has changed our lives in the physical world, we stepped off that cliff and believed that the things we needed would come to us and they have. We understand that where there is good there is bad and vica versa but to not focus on the bad – see the good in the simplest things (Autumn and all it’s glory as I write this.) and be greatful for what you have each day because there is no point worrying about what you cannot change, and you may not have another day so just enjoy what you’ve got.

In addition, in fairness, I rarely make hard and fast plans, because I know from all the books I read that the best laid plans will never work out because you are not doing the driving.

When I first moved over here I started to write this blog which in turn led to my writing my book. It  was always my intention to share our experiences with others because people need help when they find themselves where we were once, especially those with a strong persobality like my own, boy it is hard to harness the wild horses in your brain some times!  But over the last month I finished reading Deepak Chopra, ‘The Seven Spiritual laws of Success’ and I took my lead from the end of the book and decided to serialise my book and get it out there. I realsied that, as Deepak Chopra says, I would be doing something that I was put here to do, something that I love (writing) and  in that  I would be helping people at the same time.

I realised that I could not wait forever for the book to be published when there were people out there who needed to read it, because it would help them cope, help them  know that they are not alone, help them know that they can get through it, and help them know that life can get better. So I have started to blog it; and the reaction has been overwhelming. Thank you all.

I know from the reaction in over less than two days that this is likely to change our lives again -not least the reassurance that I have given to my husband because he worries that I will leave him one day. (Yes, even now!) But the difference is that now when I reassure him it works and he is then fine and comforted.

I knew that I was taking a chance, that some would judge, but as I always say my dear late mother was right when she said ‘if they’re judging you they’re leaving some other poor bugger alone!’ I started to write because of my breakdown, I was sick of biting my tongue, I wanted to say what I wanted to say and, as with everything, I know that I have to step of the cliff and take that chance.

What does that have to do with having an adventure in France – everything – I have freedom now. I started to write this blog – which gave me the confidence to write my book, and in turn the confidence to serialise it in another blog; I started to read books that made you think outside of the box, to understand and believe that, much as we think we are, we are not doing the driving where our lives are concerned, and although it took a lot of lessons we are now seeing the benefits of that belief.

I would not have done any of this if we had not moved to France, stepped off the hamster wheel and see where life took us.

Who knows what is coming next – autumn……..

Moisy

If you want to read my other blog then it is called making this better @makingthisbetter.com But be warned, there is a possibility of tears and strong emotion.

Thank again

Moisy

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