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~ Letting ‘Life’ show me the way.

Rosie’sFrenchAdventuresandIrish Shenanigans.com

Tag Archives: Mark Nepo

Life…Shows You The Way PT II

01 Thursday Apr 2021

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Dream, Learning and Evolving, LIfe, Making our own way, mental health, New Paths, Reflections, Spirituality, The continuing adventure

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

believe, Change, facing fears, Faith, Inspiration, letting go, LIfe, life shows the way, Life’s messages, listening, making decisions, Mark Nepo, mental health, Reflections, Rural France, T.he Book Of Awakening, understanding

Picking up from my last post in this series it was January 2019, and we had lived in France nearly four years. That January was hard, RD had not been paid for a job he had done and we were down to our last bones, literally, on my birthday we had five euros to our name. But we had learned that what you need will come if you just believe and on that evening my tablet pinged informing me that I had made an Etsy sale of over one hundred euro, we were solvent again until our pensions went into our account. Our belief had not failed us, it was another of the lessons we had learned ‘what you need will come.’

The next morning as we sat drinking our tea I felt a surge of anger and drive and I looked at RD and said “Fuck it’ you aren’t working via someone else anymore you’re advertising and working for yourself. Add to that your not cutting corners when you are asked to save them money, if they don’t want a good job done they can get someone else to do it. We are not going to be like other people out here, we’re having an ethos and that ethos will be ‘if a jobs worth doing it’s worth doing well.’”

I had seen so many times how people would undercut others to get the work instead, but then do a very bad job. It would have been so easy to be like them but that was the crux, that was the test: no matter how hard don’t get sucked into the same mindset as the others, rise above it, have faith that keeping your integrity and principles will get you what you need. God did we learn that lesson well!

So that very day I redesigned our Facebook page, and I advertised RD as available for work on the local sites. Within an hour he had a job to start, with a person who came to be our friend. She had been let down and ripped off before by other people in the area, but once RD had spent three days with her the trust had been built and she gave him a fabulous review which I could then use to further promote our service. Life had spurred me on to do what I had the skill to do.

In the next two day I set up a website with our ethos ‘If A Jobs Worth Doing It’s Worth Doing Well’ and I advertised us on the local sites twice a week.

Now it was common for other English in the area to then comment negatively on other people’s posts, and believe me I had my fair share of that. But I was not prepared to be bullied by others, as I was back in ‘work mode’. If they were rude I would answer them brusquely and professionally, they could never respond because more often they were lying or just being negative. On one post a lady put that ‘it would be good if you answered your emails.’ Now I was in charge of all admin, and trust me when I say I am always on top of it. I went back through any contact confirming that no email had been received, so I told her so, in firm professional and businesslike way, also advising her that she was being rude in her tone. It was clear she was lying, but at that point other people took interest and answered her, appreciating the fact that I had put a stop to the nastiness. From there RD got a job with a lovely couple, who were respected in the area. We stood by our principles and they gave him another fabulous review, and work took off from there.

But France is tough, for every euro you earn you have to pay a minimum of 25% in social security, irrespective of any costs that are not taken into account, and before any tax is deducted. This meant that very often RD was working for less than a euro an hour. We survived that year, stuck to our principles and even refused work when people wanted us to cut corners. RD did some fabulous work and we built a client base and even had work in the winter (so hard in France).

But still it was difficult and still the discussion around whether to stay went on. One sunny day in March we walked down our road, looking out across the valleys and agreed that ‘Life would show us the way.’

It was in the Spring that year that I bought ‘The Book Of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo, and RD would read a passage most mornings as we drank our early morning tea. We found that each passage seemed to resonate with our thoughts at that time, and more and more we questioned what we were doing. But still we stayed.

As work came in we took it that the message from Life was to stay in France. But I think Life is more subtle than that at times, so over time we realised how we were still struggling, it wasn’t as hard, but it was still a struggle. We loved our French neighbours, and French friends, we loved our home and it’s location, and there were times we were confused as to the message life was sending. Now I know that Life was showing us, as it so often does, that even with fairly regular work in France it was still an existence. More than anything it was challenging us to still be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves did we want to ‘just exist?’

Over the course of the year we met people who would say how difficult it was to live in the old stone houses, and how they had sold up because of the problems. They look lovely but they are hard work. Then I cleaned a lady’s house who was returning to the UK, after living in France for ten years. When I asked her why she was leaving she explained that she felt life went in ten year cycles, and that we should always consider change as the cycle grows old. It resonated with me and I knew that Life meeting her was one of Life’s messages.

In the summer we read March the 7th passage from ‘The Book Of Awakening’ entitled ‘Let Go Of The Rice’. It is one of the things that changed the way I look at life, or should I say ‘us’. It said it all, how monkeys are caught in traps because they do not believe that what they need will come, because they live in fear, and consequently lose their lives when all they had to do was ‘let go of the rice.’ And that was it, we understood and we started to look at houses in Ireland.

In the August of that year I was ill, I have written how we had no health insurance and how it frightened me. It was life asking me to consider what we would do, whether France was really the right place for us. It’s bad enough being ill, add the complications of language and it is multiplied a thousand times. To reinforce its message Life sent us work with people whose husbands had suffered strokes, or sadly deteriorated from Dementia, and all of them were having horrendous problems in the French system. I found myself questioning how we would survive (there’s that word again!) as we got older. When chopping our own wood no-longer became an option, when RD could no-longer work. I couldn’t find work in France, no matter how I tried, not enough to support us. I questioned whether I wanted to grow old in France, and after I was ill in the August those doubts began to build, but still we persevered, until in the end, as she so often does Life started to hit us round the head to make us listen……

More to come…

Rosie

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‘Life’ Shows The Way PT I

14 Sunday Mar 2021

Posted by RosieJoseph in Learning and Evolving, LIfe, mental health, Spirituality, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Life shows you the way, listening, Mark Nepo, messages from life, Reflecting, The Book Of Awakening, understanding

I’ve had this post in my mind ever since we moved because it’s about how we look at life and ultimately how we came to go on another adventure. It’s not a post for those who want to ‘stay safe’ and thereby close their minds and talk themselves out of opportunity; it’s a post for those who are feeling restless, feel a strong urge to make change, or to just change the way they view things.

There are so many things that happened that got us to where we are today I will break them down into a series of posts. I hope they get some of you thinking. So here goes..

The biggest change to RD and I since embarking on our adventures has been the way we think. I have said for many years that ‘life will show us the way’, but our adventure in France made us see that it really did, if we listened.

When we arrived in France, in the first year we were there our Jeep broke down numerous times. No matter how many times we had it repaired something else went wrong with it. But still we persisted because we had paid over the odds for it, we liked it and we didn’t want to acknowledge that we had been ‘had’ and it was a heap of shit. Life was telling us to let it go, and each time something went wrong it was a problem that was worse than the one before. It took us two years and the wheel falling off it as RD was driving (luckily slowly at that moment in time) for us to realise that life was telling us to let it go! But that was not the end of the lessons.

Before we moved RD bought a flatbed truck, it was only six years old, but within the first eighteen months the engine blew up!

When we first moved into our house we turned the water on and it poured through the ceiling from the shower, we also discovered as winter drew in that the heating didn’t work. In the first year I wrote often of the cold, but we persevered because we had made our decision and we HAD to make it work. I did write a Post about our adventures a year in, reading it now made me smile because we had so much more to learn.

Our Old Green Door

In the March of 2016, after only seven months of living in our house, the roof blew off our kitchen. It was at that point, as RD stood at our old knackered door, where the water seeped through when the rain lashed down, that he looked out and his subconscious said out loud ‘Here we are, living the dream!’

By 2016 I had also started to read the book ‘Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life’ the book of Tao, and it helped me to keep going because I understood that where there is bad there is good, and it enabled us to keep going, because there was good, in the shape of our beautiful old house, and our surroundings; add to that our love for each other and son and our animals.

I remember now talking RD round, out of this mindset, but when looking back I can see that it was ‘life’ trying to get us to question what we had done. I even painted and tried to renovate our old door, it looked fab, but it still leaked and we still weren’t getting it!

In my old post I wrote with hope that we were just waiting for the insurance company to pay for the replacement, which of course they never did. It was one of our lessons about France don’t trust the insurance companies . Over the years we would come to add the un-regulated, at times corrupt banking system to a long list of what wasn’t right for us. No wonder French people protest!

We had tarpaulins on our roof for nearly three years. When it rained, and trust me when it rained it blew across the open countryside and hammered our lovely house on the hill, we had bowls all over the kitchen catching the water. But still we carried on.

We learned from it all, we learned patience, and that sometimes things we think are catastrophic are not, you survive.

Work was difficult, we were starting to realise that the English people that we had to interact with were pretty awful (I’m being polite) in fact that was a continuous lesson right up to the day we left France.

In the September of 2016 a tornado ripped through our garden demolishing everything in its path. But we persevered, we held on to what I thought was ‘hope’ when in fact it was the fear of letting go of what was not a dream, in fact ‘life’ was telling us it wasn’t the right path for us.

But we didn’t listen to the messages life was sending us, and so they got worse and in 2017 our well ran dry. We had no water, nada, none, and again RD’s subconscious tried to get him to listen and he went down. Our wonderful French friends came to the rescue again and we had water connected via Marc’s supply until we could find the funds to have water connected. At nearly three thousand euros that was no mean feat, and we lived like that for eighteen months. But again we survived, the adventure in France taught us a lesson about ourselves, and how resilient we are, as we showered each other using a watering can.

It was in 2018 that we started to read ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo, we would read it together and consider each lesson. We are still reading it today, and it taught us one of the biggest lessons: Let Go.

We had a fabulous summer of 2018, I remember laying on a lilo on our pool in the baking sun and thinking ‘I am in my garden’. I understand now that summer happened to enable us to love what we had, before things started to change and we became enlightened in that it was time to consider change. We thought at that time that things were getting better, but in fact all our plans fell through and by the December I was starting to understand that life really was trying to tell us something.

By January of 2019 we found ourselves with no work and no funds, chopping up falling logs in the garden to try and heat the house after RD wasn’t paid for a job he had done (a common thing in that area of France sadly where English clients were concerned). Our new roof had leaked, and one night just as we went to bed I asked RD if he thought staying in France was the right thing to do and he answered honestly ‘I don’t know.’ Then he promptly started to snore as I lay awake in the darkness contemplating our life and our future. I was afraid, but I also realised that what I was actually afraid of was letting go, and so we finally started to listen….

More to come

Rosie

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Clearing Out The Old…

19 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Change is a coming, Goodbyes, Learning and Evolving, new adventures, New Paths, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure

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Belief, clutter, Decluttering, Faith, French barns, French Sunrises, letting go, letting go of the old, making decisions, Mark Nepo, Selling houses in France

The start of a new day in France. As always I am inspired by the sunrises over the vallees, and cherishing every one. I will share as many as I can with you before we go..

I should be on the boat now returning to my job, but as always life showed me the way and a mutual decision was reached that I will not return, but that monies owed will be paid. I cannot tell you the relief I feel, and although we will lose some money I will trust my belief that what we need will come. I have followed Mark Nepo’s advice and I have ‘Let go of the rice.’

Last night RD and I realised It is probably for the best because we only have eight weeks left in this house, if not less. Despite being busy these last two weeks clearing out the barn, taking all the things we humans tend to harbour for years but will never use to the dechetterie (rubbish dump).

There is still a lot of clearing out to do. One half of our barn has been completed, just the other half to start today!

I have also been busy selling things we don’t need, we have learned the lesson well in: don’t move stuff to another country just ‘in case’. It costs way too much and we are resolute that what we need must all fit into a Luton van.

We are moving ourselves this time, otherwise it will mean that we will have spent up 12,000€ on moving! Too much!

I have also arranged accommodations in Ireland, with flexible dates until they are confirmed, and checked out accommodation here for the (hopefully) only ten days we will need to remain here. I am ready to go now.

In France when you sell your house on the day you sign on the dotted line you hand the keys to the new owner. There is no going back to finalise, that is it, you have to be out and the house has to be empty on the day. So we will need to book into accommodation before the final day. It will be a poignant time when we close the door.

In addition to the barn I have cleared out our armoire of the things that were put in it five years ago, added to and never used. Why do we do it? Have drawers full of crap?

Trust me these are the empty drawers, they were full to overflowing before. Now some drawers are empty with only a few things we are taking with us put back. We asked ourselves yesterday why it takes a move to clear our lives of clutter. A new lesson I will try and remember: have a yearly clear out LET GO.

The plan is that once the dates have been confirmed everything that is in our cupboards is coming with us and simply needs to be wrapped and packed. (I say simply😁)

I have applied the same principle to our fabulous French buffet, lovingly painted by me and now a storage facility for all the things that need to be packed. I just can’t wait for the date now.

So the animals are looking at us questionably, they know that things are abreast.

Rosie

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What Have We Learned? Reflecting.

08 Monday Jun 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Learning and Evolving, My family and other furry creatures, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, Reflections, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure, Us

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Balance, Beliefe, facing fears, Faith, French Sunrises, French sunsets, good and bad, leaning, Mark Nepo, Tao te Chings, understanding

Nearly five years ago I started this blog. We had lived in France for just three months. I was full of enthusiasm about taking a chance, in fact I started this blog to encourage others. And although I am now going to put things into place to leave France, I still feel that life is an adventure; and for me, or should I say us, staying still and doing the same ‘ol, same ‘ol is not the way forward.

I have often written about my Tree of Tao the huge old fir tree in our garden that has always relaxed and inspired me as it gently swayed in the wind. Recently as we sat under it I found myself looking up through her majestic branches as they went with the flow of the breeze, and felt a little poignancy that we will be leaving this place.

As we tend to do we got chatting about changing direction, and I asked RD if he had ever regretted the move. His resounding answer was no, as was mine; and we both said the same: ‘Because we have learned so much.’

If someone had told my five years ago that it didn’t matter if your roof had blown off, because at some point you would be able to fix it, that you just had to trust that what you needed would come your way at the right time, I would have laughed at them, or thought them mad. We would have got into debt and got the roof fixed. But during our time here we have read and embraced many philosophies of the Tao Te Ching, and not having debt is one of them.

We did not get into debt, we lived with a leaking roof for over three years, and we are still alive, and it got fixed.

In the same vein when our well ran dry two years after arriving we lived without water for eleven days, and again for four days in the winter until we were able to have mains water connected to our house. Yet here we are, still alive, with memories of showering each other with a watering can (not easy when your husband is over six feet and you have to stand on a ladder!) and laughing as we did it. As a result of all of this we don’t waste water, and we don’t fear things going wrong, it doesn’t kill you, but it does make you stronger.

We say to each now, there is no point in stressing over it, what will be will be.

As we sat under that old tree, talking about all the things we have learnt, lessons we can take with us, we laughed about all the things that had happened, because we are stronger because of them. We realised that we are more patient than we ever were before, we don’t have to have everything now, and often say to ourselves ‘Do I really need that?’

The answer is invariably ‘No’.

But more than anything RD and I have learned that we are not ‘doing the driving.’ And we have learned acceptance, even though we often have to remind ourselves of that.

We know that ultimately what is meant to happen will happen and there is no point fighting it. In fact our ‘Faith’ often brings tears to our eyes, because we know that is the biggest gift that has been given to us, and I don’t mean any religion, just ‘faith.’

We have learned that where there is good there is bad, and where there is bad there is good. That life is a balance, you cannot have one without the other. I do believe that attitude of mind can bring you good or bad depending on your mindset.

We have each other, we have lived in this fabulous place, we have seen hares and deer and breath-taking sunrises and awe inspiring sunsets. But to have that we have also had a hurricane, and a tornado, and freezing nights.

We have struggled with money and work, and people, but we have always had each other, and we know that is a gift.

We have had the gift of love from our animals, we were given Wiglet, but we lost our lovely Tillybet. We looked after Sophie the feral cat, and the joy of seeing her change was balanced by the tears when she died. We had twenty years with our green eyed cat Molly, balanced by the heartache when she left us at the beginning of the year. Understanding that balance has helped us so many times. We know we cannot have it all.

During our time here as well as the ‘Tao’, we have read The Alchemist’, and we are still reading the fabulous Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakenings.) It never ceases to amaze us when we open that book at a difficult time that the passage we come to read gives us the answer to our problem.

See the source image

For me, my most recent learning has been to ‘let go’. Or I thought it was until I realised that I had let go once before, when we sold our beautiful house in the UK and look at what it gave me. This time it was a reminder, let go and you know good things will come.

Rosie

See the source image

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Off Grid! Huge changes!

28 Friday Feb 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Change, charlatans, con artists, emotional intelligence, exciting times, Kittens, letting go of the rice, life showing the way, listening, Love, Mark Nepo, new beginnings, new jobs freedom, no internet, off grid, poor service, professional, Welsh Terriers

So here I am nearly two weeks in from losing our internet. I have now been off grid for 12 days, apart from one trip to good old Maccy D’s to pick up some emails, and there is still no sign of Orange repairing anything. In fact I was advised yesterday that the engineers do what they like, and Orange find them difficult to control, because there is a shortage of them. I find that ironic in a country where people need work, perhaps Orange should think outside the box and put some apprenticeships in place.

I cannot begin to describe how difficult is without the internet, and have lost count of how many times I have told people I am off grid but they then email me documents, or message me! We have an air printer that won’t work and it is frightening how we all rely on the internet now. What about all the people who cannot afford the internet, or the homeless, how do they stand a chance?!

The attitude of Orange is just another thing to make me reconsider France.

Much has happened, and decisions have been made. We are putting things in progress to make that move onto the next stage of our adventure. Life showed us the way in many ways: not least realising that there is so much negative energy generated in the ex- pat community in this area that it is like a beacon, and more and more shallow, insecure people are joining the throng. Just as Deepak Chopra and the book of Cosmic Ordering confirm the energy generated is the energy that comes back.

I have lived here five years, and written often about the people here. Being off grid has allowed me to sit and write my journal nearly every day, and clearly this was just what life had planned. I realised the level of negativity, petty jealousy and nastiness that underpins life here in this area, and I have come to many conclusions, including going back to the UK to work.

In the the book ‘ The Cosmic Ordering Service’ they explain that the left hand side of our brain (the conscious) can take in 7 impressions per second whilst the right hand side (the sub-conscious) can take in 10,000 impressions per second. It sees and understands so much more than your conscious brain, but we often don’t listen to it when it sends us small messages telling us which way to go. After writing in my journal I have come to the conclusion that there is a low level of emotional intelligence around me, generally. With everyone fighting for a buck, and undermining each other. It was time for things to change.

Writing my journal I realised that my sub-conscious had suggested something to me, a job, a while ago, but my left hand side of my brain had talked me out of it. But a few weekends ago we encountered people, and a level of ignorance and lies like we had never experienced before, which finally brought things to a head. We realised just how low people will go out here to get money. We have often had it said to us ‘Oh they’ve got money, you should charge them a higher rate.’ We have seen people over order building materials and take the surplus. Quite simply that is not us. Our rate is our rate, and we would no more over order materials than the man in the moon. In fact when a client recently gave us a tip for the good work we had done I told him I thought he had overpaid.

I am who I am and I am not, and we are not going to lose our integrity to live. If we lose that then we could have all the money in the world but we would not be living. Sadly if you don’t have emotional intelligence then you won’t understand that.

What happened was the straw that broke the camels back. We are not like these people and we don’t want to be associated with them, or even have them on our radar. To the point that RD said, ‘get me fucking out of here.’ To work out here we have to interact with the English, and apart for a select few, quite simply we don’t want to. It was a no brainer that I went back to the UK.

It isn’t just the salary, I realised when I wrote my journal just how much I have been starved of emotional intelligence, I am at risk of stagnating, and I cannot stand it any longer.

Then on Sunday some dear friends came to see us to tell us that they were moving back to England. It did and didn’t surprise me. They had been here the same amount of time as us, they had built up a community of ‘friends’. When I asked why, they too said it was because of the ex-pat community and how they too had been stabbed in the back.

I knew it was life telling us to move on. In addition my friend suggested a job for me in the UK which pays well, it was the very job I had talked myself out of only a few weeks ago. I knew it was life telling me to do it.

I have applied and I am now sitting in my seat on my way to my new job! (Hence the internet connection!) After the first conversation with my new employers I realised just how much I have missed intelligent professional interaction on a one to one basis, missed talking to others who are also professional in their approach. It felt as if the door had finally swung open, and the sun was streaming in.

It will mean having to leave RD for weeks at a time, and I will miss him and my puppies and kittens so much. But it will give us choices, it will give us the route we need to leave France and move on to Ireland. It will allow us the choice to only interact with those we want to interact with, it will give RD a break (not counting the lists of jobs I have for him!), it will give me interaction with professional people who are not only looking for a fast way to gain a buck, it will allow my brain to be used to its full potential, but, seriously, it will give us freedom.

Life will show us the way. It has confirmed it is time to go.

We have let go of the rice.

Wish me luck.

Rosie

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Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Belief, believe, courage, Faith, LIfe, Making this better, Mark Nepo, memoir, published, Rosie Joseph, strength, tranquility, writer, writing

I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

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  • New Paths
  • People
  • poignancy
  • Recipes
  • Reflections
  • renovations
  • Saying Goodbye
  • serendipity
  • Simple things
  • Spirituality
  • sunrises and sunsets
  • The adventures of living life in the French countryside
  • The background story
  • The continuing adventure
  • The good life
  • The good, the bad and the ugly.
  • The Iris Adventure
  • The seasons
  • The things you have ro do
  • The Wild Atlantic Way
  • Us

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