So I am going to start this blog with an observation – not a negative, just a fact – I know that I get on some people’s tits because I am a person who tends to look at the positives in life – my glass is always half full, and if it isn’t I can always do something to fill it up again!
But do I care what they think? What do you think? However there comes a point when I get a little tired of people looking at me and how I look at life instead of looking to themselves.
I know which way I would rather look at life and it ain’t from the negative side.
So my blog about my husband and not so much the French language as teaching the French language! Is due out tomorrow – look out for it it’s a funny one (I hope!)
But today I let life show me which way to go and used some of the things from the last few days that have inspired me to write this blog.
The first thing was the stunning sunny day we had yesterday, with blue skies all the way, it was freezing cold but, as Lao Tzu says – where there is bad there is good, and where there is good there is bad – it all goes in a circle after all.Perhaps that is why I think of the positive in all situations – what is the point of focusing on the bad?!
We had woken up to a snow fall – making the garden look beautiful.
This meant that we had to re-think the journey that Rich was going to take and move it back ; that is the thing living in France, it is so vast that we could have a small snowfall here and travel the 45 minutes Rich had to travel and find a huge snowfall and that the van was stuck! Best not to take the chance. So Rich worked in the garden all day, trying to clear the forest of logs that we have to sort out for seasoning, to enable us to then get the forest of logs we have in the ditch outside our garden into our garden and start to make our commune look tidy again.
He made good inroads bless him and we now have a system in place..
I worked on our fledgling business, decorating by hand our new range of iridescent butterflies and my poor sister’s stars that she has been waiting for forever.
But I had also gone to bed the night before feeling a bit euughh. That is the only way I can explain it, I had nothing in particular on my mind but did not sleep well and I realised, when I woke early, that it was because I had spent so much time indoors over the past few days, writing and researching for my book, as well as working on the business that I needed a shot of nature; so in the late afternoon sun I went out with my husband and helped him for an hour. I felt so much better, back in tune with nature and now I feel good again. The difference it made, just for that hour.
The other thing that inspired this blog, and perhaps one of the things that was playing on my mind (like I said I am going to say what I think now if something is playing on my mind) was the differences I have had in communication with people over the past few days; some engaging and confidence building, especially with regard to my book and this blog; some very very positive, some affirming and supportive, some unknowingly negative. Let me explain…
As part of my editing my book I have started to research other’s stories; all heartbreaking in their own way, and some that have made me feel for the person writing it in such a way that my heart goes out to them.
I have actively engaged in some and commented on their posts; most of these people (in fact all so far) are following a road that we travelled 11 years ago; and it is a hard uphill road that takes you over mountains, through forests and at times across large oceans of despair – I know, I survived it (we survived it). The response has been uplifting in that these people have responded to my comments; and have listened. I have not told them what to do – you cannot, they have to find their own path, but I have told them what I did, because I knew that for some this would help them – I would have given anything 11 years ago to have that information imparted to me.
The down side has been that I have had to face emotions that I have not faced for some time, but they have thereby helped me edit my book in such a way that it will help others who read it – Like I said I wanted similar available to me when it happened and I could not find it.
The other thing is the communication from some of our friends who support us in all we do. although they might not like our style, or what we do they support us, and say that they like it. After all, why say that you don’t? They appreciate that others will like it even if they do not. It gives us encouragement and for that we are truly grateful,
Some give us advice and help me, especially to talk through a plan or idea, and then they give ideas to support it. Many have supported our new business and promoted it to others. One friend in particular (Karen) has supported me in my book and never told me that it is ‘pie in the sky’ or that I should ‘just get it done and put the subject to bed.’ I put the subject to bed a long time ago where I am concerned but she knows that my experiences and knowledge of that journey can and will help others; I have a good story to tell.
Many have told us that they ‘worry about us’ having no idea how negative this can be. Firstly it is as if we are children that they need to worry about, the second thing is to just say this and nothing constructive is, in itself, a form of negative feedback. I would ask what do you want me to do with that information?
As part of the comments they question whether we are listening to what life shows, or comment on how hard it is for us and then justify it by stating that they are only saying it because they worry about us (which is in itself affirmation that they may perhaps be saying something that they should not say uninvited). They comment on how hard we are having it or how they feel sorry for us, Jesus! If I was a negative person I would have cut my throat by now! I care for some of these people and I hope, when they read this, they will think about it because I would ask whether you think that this feedback is constructive, and what the objective of saying it is. It pretty much comes across as I am giving you this negative but only because I care!!
I never give anyone a negative unless invited to do so, and I never give it without giving something constructive to go with it. I am happy with my life and respect that although I may not want others life I don’t need to tell them I feel sorry for them.
Sorry but I am just not the kind of girl that wants people to pity me – so please don’t.
So the final thing is that yesterday my sister and I had a conversation and she said that she respects my views and agrees that life does show you the way; but the wise old bird (she will kill me!) then said ‘but doesn’t it depend on if you look at life in a positive way or a negative way which path you will take?’ Meaning because I always look at the positives I will not give up (add into the mix my extremely strong personality as well) and I will always find a way. Whereas someone who is negative will always look at the difficulties and not find the positives and thereby give up.
She was right.
I am sorry if I have upset others by saying how I feel in this post, it was not my intention and if I have upset you then I hope that you understand why it may have.
To reassure you here are my positives:
I have a husband who loves me more than I will ever really know – I know that from the way he looks at me.
I have a husband who makes me laugh, every day with his madness and eccentricity at times. He just does not take himself too seriously. (Money cannot buy that)
I have friends who I know will be with me for life, some have rejoined my mini bus after travelling different roads, but they sought out my bus stop to get back on the ride – and for that I am blessed. (Money cannot buy that)
I have a wonderful son, who has stood up to the plate and found his own way, and I am so proud of him I cannot find the words to describe it. (Money cannot buy that in fact it can hinder it)
I am surrounded by animals who love us – that tells you something about yourself (you cannot buy an animal’s love)
I have learnt to differentiate the good people from the bad – the hard way – and also what I want surrounding me. (Freedom)
The people we count as friends out here are ‘real’ people; and for that we are blessed because they have all helped us; but they have not judged us.
I don’t compete – if you don’t like me ce la vie! (Freedom)
I live in a place where I see this – every time I walk out of the door
I am at peace with myself, and I do not let others judgments affect my life – A lesson hard learnt. (Freedom)
I am, at last free, because the less I have the happier I will be.
I wish you well.. And a big thank you to all those who support out there, support others in so many ways – I am not just talking about us here.
Like I said change is coming….. If you just keep thinking positive.
Thank you for the lesson ❤️❤️💋
Well done Mois..another good piece of writing…Jan x
As some who does say “I worry about you” I wonder if I’m using the wrong word. I don’t lie awake worrying about anyone, even my own children, because I have the same outlook on life as you. In that I believe worry gets you nowhere, you just have to deal with whatever comes along.
I certainly don’t worry that you’ve made the wrong move either, because I know you haven’t and that your blissfully happy in your beautiful piece of the world.
However I do find my self looking at the weather on the news trying to see if the bad weather front coming in is going to reach France, and if it does will you be warm enough, will the tarp on the kitchen roof hold, will it stop you from working etc etc. (I never did this when you lived in Herne Bay Lol)
So may be the word I should use is “concerned.” I know if anything happens you and Rich will cope, they same as we do here.
Every one, no matter where they live, faces adversity at some time, but people who love you will always be thinking of you whilst you face it.
Love you loads. Xxxxxxx
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I couldn’t have put it better Nic, yes I worry for the same reasons for Mois and Rich but because I care as I would for any of my friends that they may be cold or hungry. I can hardly pop round with a casserole 😂😂 love them both and their great outlook on life!