‘Everything must change,
Nothing stays the same.
Everyone must change
Nothing stays the same.’
Taken from ‘Everything must change’.Written by Bernard Ighner – Sung by many but for me George Benson’s version lights my soul……
As Persephone tries hard to return from the underworld, and Spring struggles to bloom, I have been inspired to write this post for many reasons, not least the people that I have met and interacted with over the past few weeks; and I hope that this post will enable others to think, and perhaps help some of them.
Firstly, as I predicted in January, things are going to change for us this year – that I suppose is a given as the words in the song say, but I know (knew) that things were going to get easier; not better because I am lucky with the life that I have, I know that, and I am grateful every day. But things have started to get easier, Rich has been offered some work that will take him into the next month or so, and perhaps longer as there are other projects in the pipeline; to know that we will have a regular income is a blessed thing.
More than anything to see my husband go to work every day and come home fulfilled and chatting about the day and how he has enjoyed his work and the people he is working with is a joy. Rich loves ‘banter’ and working with men in an environment where that can take place is important to him. He has experienced that before but it is few and far between and gardening can be a lonely job if you are a people person.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have now sent my book off to a publisher, and having not heard I rang them this week, to be told that it is still being considered; this I firmly see as a positive because they have had it four weeks and they have not flung it back at me yet!!
I have also finished reading my book on the Tao, yep I have read all of the verses – it has only taken me nearly two years! But I have got so much out of it, and I understand so much more about myself and others, and the world.
Despite reading it, I know that this is now a way of life for me and that I should continue to go back to this good book as often as I can to remind myself and, because I have read it all, I also know that I will understand some of the earlier passages even more now. So I have taken to opening the book randomly and reading the passage that I have opened it on; and the first passage was the sixteenth verse, about living with constancy; and how the only constancy is, in fact. change.
‘Become totally empty
let your heart be at peace
amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings
observe how endings become beginnings….’
Dr Wayne W. Dyer (Change your thoughts change your life – living the wisdom of the Tao.)
Over the weekend we visited a lovely couple in what are sad, or perhaps another word is poignant, set of circumstances. They find themselves in a position where they have to move to smaller accommodation due to ill health; as I watched them, the love they had for each other was palpable, despite where they find themselves today. I realised how much their lives had changed in the time that they lived over here, which was, in fact, hardly any time at all, and it reminded me how fleeting our lives are.
Yes, I did have tears in my eyes because it was a reminder to me that we should cherish every day and every moment because one day what you took for granted will be gone. As it says in the song I have quoted …
‘The young become the old,
Mysteries do unfold.
‘Cause that’s the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged.’
Also this year another dear friend has had to deal with the loss of his mum, a lady who made him the person he is today with her strength; she gave him the same courage and determination that she had, and I know that this year will be the most difficult for him and his family; and the following years will only become easier because you know you have been through all of the anniversaries and celebrations without that person once already so you know you can do it again.
And now Spring is here, bringing with her tumultuous change, yes some good as the the earth around us burst into life; but also we realise the things that have not survived, like my poor little geraniums who held on all winter only to be blasted by ‘The Beast from East.’ Or some of the trees blown down by the winter’s gale.
My dear friend who this time last year had been on a holiday of a lifetime with a person she loved, and who, this year, finds herself back in touch with me, and in love with my darling husband (as a brother, because he can always make her laugh!) and realising that perhaps that person who she thought she loved was not the person she thought they were all along – change in it’s many forms as they say in the song….
Winter turns to spring.
Wounded heart will heal. (yes it will)
Never much too soon
Everything must change
Then there is a Face Book site I follow – the Welsh Terrier Fan Club – where we all share the antics of our mad puppies, and our love of this beautiful, wilful, and naughty breed of dog; and then, suddenly, someone’s dog gets ill unexpectedly, as Harley did last year, and we all pray with them, we all pray that their dogs will survive; because we are, in truth, terrified of when that time comes for us. Sadly even this week a little one year old died suddenly from Kidney failure. But as I said to it’s distraught family, they know these little dogs, they get it, and they come here to teach us lessons – that life is too short just enjoy each day, whatever the weather.
As part of my research for my book I have read, and in fact am still reading, many blogs by people whose hearts have been broken by infidelity, and how they struggle with the fact that they are, in fact, grieving. Often they want back what they had when in fact what they thought they had has gone, it cannot be bought back to life; and often they do not seem to realise that all that they have is today, and what can be built for the future, either with their partner or on their own. But they spend each day going back into the past, going over things that cannot be changed – you can change the future you cannot change the past – reliving things over and over, driving themselves mad in what may be the last days or their, or the ones they love, lives. Trust me, I know.
This is change, it happens whatever things we put into place to protect ourselves, and if we can embrace this fact, it will not bite us on the arse as badly when it comes, because we know that it was inevitable.
There are not many things
In life you can be sure of.
Except
Rain comes from the clouds,
And sun lights up the sky,
And humming birds do fly.
So because of all this I felt inspired to write this post in the hope that some could consider the fact that change cannot be stopped, and that hiding from it will just make it harder in the end. The couple I mentioned inspired me to say to people consider that things could change again by tomorrow and then you would regret what you missed today; so remember those you loved, or forget those you loved, and take them with you on your next journey as a wonderful memory, or leave them behind but take with you the lesson you learned.
We all struggle with the loss of people, or animals that we love. Some of us refuse to accept change will happen in our lives when in fact it is a constant, from losing jobs, moving home, leaving people and places that we love, people that we love leaving us, and nature giving us that reminder that – do you know what – someone else is doing the driving!! – And someone or something that we love becomes ill, or leaves us on this earth alone; and our lives are immeasurably different, in a way we did not want.
I believe, now, that if we can accept that this is inevitable, then the pain we feel will still be immense, but not insurmountable because we will understand that this is the way of the world, and we are just part of it’s story.
As they say in the sixteenth verse of the Tao Te Ching ‘rather than viewing change as a disruptive, unwanted occurrence, you can choose to view the variances in your world as valuable influences in the cycle’ ….
There’s an immutable cycle of ‘no life, life, no life’ that we are all part of. All things come and they go….
This coming and going might seem to be a temporary condition, but it’s actually the ultimate constant because it never ceases.’
Change your thoughts change your life – Dr Wayne W Dyer
Ultimately what it is saying is if you understand and accept that things will change, irrespective of how hard you hold onto them, then when it happens you will be able to accept it and understand that no matter how hard it may seem at the time, the ending of this one thing is the beginning of another; and life will go on, differently, but you can still find happiness out of something new – if you let yourself.
Just as the couple I described, who are embracing their new way of life, or my dear friend who now has us in her life, for her sins, and a Welshie puppy!!!
Or my dear friend who knows that his situation cannot be changed, but that it will be easier in the future, with the help of those who love him and support him around him.
Or the poor people who lose their beloved animals, imagine off they go through the gate to rainbow bridge, leaving room for a new gate to open and another animal to be loved by them.
‘This too shall pass – it always has and it always will.’
Or the people whose circumstances change, and they either find happiness with the ‘new’ life they have with that person, or with a new life without them. All endings are beginnings….
So sorry about the deep message on this Friday afternoon – but something to consider this weekend when things don’t go as planned; and take a tip from me play ‘Everything must change’ – the George Benson version. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry…..
The young become the old,
Mysteries do unfold.
‘Cause that’s the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged.
There are not many things
In life you can be sure of.
Except
Rain comes from the clouds,
And sun lights up the sky,
And humming birds do fly
Have a good weekend
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