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Rosie’sFrenchAdventuresandIrish Shenanigans.com

~ Letting ‘Life’ show me the way.

Rosie’sFrenchAdventuresandIrish Shenanigans.com

Tag Archives: facing fears

Am I lucky? Or Can Anyone Be ‘Lucky’?

31 Sunday Jan 2021

Posted by RosieJoseph in coming home, Dream, Irish Adventures, Irish Scenes, Learning and Evolving, Making our own way, mental health, Mountains in Ireland, new adventures, New Paths, The continuing adventure

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attitude of mind, envy, facing fears, Irish Adventures, jealousy, letting go, lucky, positives and negatives, the road less travelled, The Tao, what is luck

Ever since starting this blog nearly six years ago it has always been my aim to encourage people to just consider something different, to think, to not be afraid.

I have been inspired by many books and philosophies over the years, and although now someone who tries to remind myself of the teaching of the Tao, and follow it where I can, if you asked me what book, to date, has inspired me the most then it would always be ‘The Road Less Travelled’ by M. Scott Peck. It was the book that set me on the path to read the other books, and I would not be the person that I am today if I had not picked that book up at one of the darkest times of my life, a time when I HAD to find myself all over again. (You would need to read my other blog at https://makingthisbetter.com to understand where I was, and why RD is now called RD)

I learned that I could not ‘go back’ and find myself, you can never go back, you can only go forward; and even now when I hear people say ‘let’s get back to normal.’ I hear myself say ‘you can’t go back, you can only go forward, and the ‘normal’ that you knew has gone.’

When I read this book I took on board so many of what the author had to say: how our life is mapped out for us by what we are taught in the early stages of our lives, but that as we grow older and life teaches us, or shows us happiness and sorrow, to truly live our life we need to have the courage to step off the road that was mapped out, and to face uncertainties and our fears, to truly live.

Ever the empath I learned how people project their problems onto you, the proverbial ‘monkey on your back’, or transference as it is known. Once I read that I could see so clearly when people were doing it, but, ever the empath, it was a big learning for me to stop when necessary.

It was because of that book that I was encouraged to look into philosophy, and try to ascertain a deeper understanding of life. I suppose that it taught me to face my fears, and not be afraid, thereby leading me to these adventures, and to quote M .Scott Peck, to understand that ‘someone else was doing the driving.’ I understood that no matter how much we think we are in control of our lives we are not, fate, or ‘life’ as RD and I call it, is.

I understand now that everything has to be a balance: bad things have to happen to enable us to understand the good things when they happen, and to not be afraid of this, or dwell on it, To just take the rough with the smooth. So many people focus on the negative things that happen to them, ask ‘why me?’ ‘Why us?’ and then they don’t see the really small good things that happen and so the negative things just keep happening because they have lost their ‘balance.’

So where is this leading? Well it was all of this that gave me the courage to go on these adventures, to know that everything changes, and to go with that change, to ‘let go of the rice’ (The Book of Awakenings. Mark Nepo).

Some of our garden in France

When we went to France we thought that ‘was it’. We thought that was where we were going to live forever, we felt we had to believe that, because we had sold up all our worldly goods and taken that chance on France, so therefore it HAD to work. Didn’t it? Of course it didn’t! I learned that ‘life’ is about learning and then moving on with the knowledge you have learned.

So we took our learnings from that adventure and we used them to go on to a new adventure. Lots of things were sent our way to help us make that decision, good and bad things, but one that sticks with me was when in 2019, someone who was moving back to the UK after living in France for ten years said that she thought that life went in ten year cycles and that then it was time to move on to pastures new. This was a time when both RD and I were considering whether staying in France was right for us, and her words resonated with me.

Since moving to Ireland I have joined some Facebook groups for the area, and about Ireland. One of them is actually called ‘I’d rather be in Ireland’.

The Beach at Dunmore Donegal Ireland

I have shared some of our photos and how we have now chosen where to settle in Ireland and so many people from all over the world have commented on how ‘lucky’ we are. Of how envious they are.

Snow Topped Errigal Mountain Donegal January 2021

It really got me thinking. Are we lucky? Or have we faced our fears?

Or are we perhaps lucky that we are able to face our fears, or open our minds?

January Sunset, Donegal Ireland

Remember it as one of the most painful things of my life that brought me to this stage, and I can confidently say that the same can be said for RD. some people would look at what happened to us then and pity us. But look at where it got us: to a place where we know that in life there is nothing to fear, only fear itself. Enabling us to take these chances.

RD had never ever been to Ireland, but he had faith in me, enough to trust me, who would have thought that, given that years ago he thought I was waiting to take my revenge!

I suppose what I am trying to say is if you look at someone and think ‘I wish I could do that’, then your brain starts to put all different obstacles in the way, I am saying understand they are obstacles but you can do it.

January in stunning Donegal

It won’t be easy. Look at our recent experiences: Christmas was cancelled, sad to leave our home and our wonderful French friends, difficult journeys, saying goodbye to our beloved pets we had to leave behind because they had departed, working so hard we felt like we would drop, and still so much more to do…. but it can be done.

Lots to tell you, more to come

Rosie

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What Have We Learned? Reflecting.

08 Monday Jun 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Belief, Learning and Evolving, My family and other furry creatures, new adventures, New Paths, poignancy, Reflections, sunrises and sunsets, The continuing adventure, Us

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Balance, Beliefe, facing fears, Faith, French Sunrises, French sunsets, good and bad, leaning, Mark Nepo, Tao te Chings, understanding

Nearly five years ago I started this blog. We had lived in France for just three months. I was full of enthusiasm about taking a chance, in fact I started this blog to encourage others. And although I am now going to put things into place to leave France, I still feel that life is an adventure; and for me, or should I say us, staying still and doing the same ‘ol, same ‘ol is not the way forward.

I have often written about my Tree of Tao the huge old fir tree in our garden that has always relaxed and inspired me as it gently swayed in the wind. Recently as we sat under it I found myself looking up through her majestic branches as they went with the flow of the breeze, and felt a little poignancy that we will be leaving this place.

As we tend to do we got chatting about changing direction, and I asked RD if he had ever regretted the move. His resounding answer was no, as was mine; and we both said the same: ‘Because we have learned so much.’

If someone had told my five years ago that it didn’t matter if your roof had blown off, because at some point you would be able to fix it, that you just had to trust that what you needed would come your way at the right time, I would have laughed at them, or thought them mad. We would have got into debt and got the roof fixed. But during our time here we have read and embraced many philosophies of the Tao Te Ching, and not having debt is one of them.

We did not get into debt, we lived with a leaking roof for over three years, and we are still alive, and it got fixed.

In the same vein when our well ran dry two years after arriving we lived without water for eleven days, and again for four days in the winter until we were able to have mains water connected to our house. Yet here we are, still alive, with memories of showering each other with a watering can (not easy when your husband is over six feet and you have to stand on a ladder!) and laughing as we did it. As a result of all of this we don’t waste water, and we don’t fear things going wrong, it doesn’t kill you, but it does make you stronger.

We say to each now, there is no point in stressing over it, what will be will be.

As we sat under that old tree, talking about all the things we have learnt, lessons we can take with us, we laughed about all the things that had happened, because we are stronger because of them. We realised that we are more patient than we ever were before, we don’t have to have everything now, and often say to ourselves ‘Do I really need that?’

The answer is invariably ‘No’.

But more than anything RD and I have learned that we are not ‘doing the driving.’ And we have learned acceptance, even though we often have to remind ourselves of that.

We know that ultimately what is meant to happen will happen and there is no point fighting it. In fact our ‘Faith’ often brings tears to our eyes, because we know that is the biggest gift that has been given to us, and I don’t mean any religion, just ‘faith.’

We have learned that where there is good there is bad, and where there is bad there is good. That life is a balance, you cannot have one without the other. I do believe that attitude of mind can bring you good or bad depending on your mindset.

We have each other, we have lived in this fabulous place, we have seen hares and deer and breath-taking sunrises and awe inspiring sunsets. But to have that we have also had a hurricane, and a tornado, and freezing nights.

We have struggled with money and work, and people, but we have always had each other, and we know that is a gift.

We have had the gift of love from our animals, we were given Wiglet, but we lost our lovely Tillybet. We looked after Sophie the feral cat, and the joy of seeing her change was balanced by the tears when she died. We had twenty years with our green eyed cat Molly, balanced by the heartache when she left us at the beginning of the year. Understanding that balance has helped us so many times. We know we cannot have it all.

During our time here as well as the ‘Tao’, we have read The Alchemist’, and we are still reading the fabulous Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakenings.) It never ceases to amaze us when we open that book at a difficult time that the passage we come to read gives us the answer to our problem.

See the source image

For me, my most recent learning has been to ‘let go’. Or I thought it was until I realised that I had let go once before, when we sold our beautiful house in the UK and look at what it gave me. This time it was a reminder, let go and you know good things will come.

Rosie

See the source image

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Inspiration

01 Saturday Sep 2018

Posted by RosieJoseph in People, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Change, facing fears, fears, Friends, Happiness, Haters, Inspiration, It's all copy, lovers, negative people, positive people, Reflections, Tao

Inspiration: …

‘The action or power of moving the intellect or emotions….’

‘Fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative…’

‘The act of influencing or suggesting opinions ….’

I started this post a few days ago, and then life took over and showed me the way and I thought I would share this with you today, to perhaps inspire you over the weekend, whether to make change for yourself, to think, or to inspire others…..

Over the past month I have it said to me, by numerous people, that I inspire them. What a wonderful thing to have said to you!

For me, especially, it is pertinent because I started this blog to inspire others, the people who wanted to make change in their lives, to have that adventure.

So how did life show me the way?

Yesterday morning we encountered a ‘Hater’ a person who is at odds with the world, who joins in the vitriol on the group FB sites, and who hates to see people doing well. She messaged Rich to tell him how he was NOT allowed to sell his old van without certain certifications! Not content with that she then messaged him direct (all under the cloak of pretending to care) to tell him the same. Her aim was to raise his fears, hold him back, stop him selling the van. We ignored her, it is the best thing to do to people who know that they are so banal that they already invisible to most. I suppose I should be grateful, really, she was part of the inspiration to write this post, as Nora Ephron said ‘Everything’s copy!’

But it did get under Rich’s skin, until I pointed out that he was allowing her to achieve exactly what she wanted to, how he was allowing her to spoil the afternoon we had planned: to take the dogs for a lovely walk at a beautiful lake near to us. Rich listened and he let it go.

Then that afternoon at the lake I encountered a lover of life, a person who is just genuinely pleased for everyone when life is going well. A lovely lady who I had made cyber friends with many moons ago when we both re-homed dogs from the same human being (read what you will into the term I have used!)

It was a beautiful afternoon and as we walked one way around the lake she and her hubby were walking the other way. I had never met her in person, only via FB and this blog, but she knew me as soon as she saw me and said ‘ you must be Moisy’ and rushed towards me to give me a massive hug. Life had set it up perfectly to emphasise that where there is bad, there is also good. This lady reads all my posts, loves them all, was so pleased that things were going well for us, and understood how hard it had been for us. She was the good to counterbalance the bad.

I came to realise that I have achieved my aim to inspire others. Over the past month, one friend has told me how I have inspired her to sell her house and make the move into the countryside, and to believe that what she needed would come her way if she just trusted life to show her; and it did.

Another friend has been inspired to face her fears and start a blog (although she must face the fear of worrying what everyone thinks, or she won’t write anything.)

And then it got me thinking and reflecting on the past few years: On how people I don’t know have messaged me to say I have inspired them to think about the lives they are living and how they are making them ill.

Of how other people have started blogs because of mine, how I have inspired them to drop their guard, and write what they wanted. Other people have started to read the Tao, have wanted to make change, and more than anything people have encouraged me to believe in my book, and to now write one about my experiences on this adventure and have thereby inspired me.

More than anything my dear friend is now looking to live in France part-time, to make more change, God knows she’s made so much in the past year she’s almost flying now, and there’s nothing to stop her!

So who inspires you?

How would you like to inspire others?

If you asked me what inspiring others is it is …..

“To give someone the belief that they, too, can make change…”

I hope I have inspired you to think this weekend, and remember live for the moment, the only moment is now

Moisy

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