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Tag Archives: Family

Counting My Blessings: Day 10

02 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, People, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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So here I am on my final post of the ten day series Counting My Blessings and I am going to cheat, I am counting three in this post, and will put it under the heading ‘My Family’.

First let’s talk about my son Tom. I chose this picture carefully because he is on top of a peak in the Lake District in England, with the sun behind him, and for me it symbolises how he can do anything he wants, he is young, and his life is in front of him with every opportunity available should he wish to take it.

I am proud of him: how he has coped with mum and dad moving to France, has pursued his dream of working in the gaming industry and has never given that up. I don’t think he realises just how much strength you need to pursue your dream, and exactly how much strength he actually has.

He is full of fun, empathetic and learnt his lesson to walk in others shoes and is loved by so many people. I am proud of him.

Now my second blessing, my sister. She will kill me for putting this photo on, but she has to be in this, not least for the support she has given Tom over the past four years. The second photo is of Tom and I, with Tom getting ready to walk her down the aisle.

We have had our ups and downs, as sisters do! She thinks she’s always right ( and annoyingly more often than not she is!) But she is always there, she cares, and Tom would not have his dream job without her tenacity and love.

Now last but never least:

My husband Richard.

If any of you have read my serialisation of my soon to be published book (it will happen this year whatever) https://makingthisbetter.com you will know how Rich I and sailed The Ocean of Despair for a long time, to get to where we are today.

This man fought tooth and nail to keep me; he evolved because he wanted to, not because I asked him to; because I never did! After what happened he had to keep up with me, I wasn’t going to wait for him!

And every minute of every hour of every day he did.

I once had someone say to me that they ‘had never had a man look at them in the way Rich looks at me’ and that was true, I know I am truly blessed to have that in my life.

He is a kind and gentle giant, who enabled me to trust him enough to come on this adventure. He makes me laugh every day, literally every day, with his dry sense of humour, and silliness.

Everyone he meets loves him, because he just sees the funny side of life. Look at him in this picture, he is so naughty he has led them all astray.

I am blessed to have this man in my life, he is sensitive and loving; strong when I need him. I could not be on this adventure without him. We are blessed to be as strong as we are now, and we both count that blessing every day, and NEVER take it for granted.

I know he will cry when he reads this; and that just makes me love him even more.

So my final blessing, my family, but more than that: the pride I have for my son, the hope I have for him too.

The understanding I have of my sister, and the respect too. My book wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her!

The respect I have for my husband, the love I have for them all. I am truly blessed.

I hope you have enjoyed this series; And I hope it has made people think about the small things, because, trust me, they are the things that keep you going in life. So in this New Year, please take time to stop, and see the small stuff.

Moisy

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Counting My Blessings: Day 8

31 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by in Friends, People, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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“Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” 
… It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision – it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

We have been taught some hard lessons, after coming here to live in France; but after all isn’t that why you go an adventure, to learn?

Over the past month I have been taught the lesson of integrity. I have written before about empathy and kindness and conscientiousness  but for me I have never thought that you could have too much integrity; after all isn’t it true that if everyone had integrity most of the ‘ills’ in the world would go?

Can you have too much Kindness, Empathy, or Conscientiousness?

But, sadly,  I have come to realise that I have too much integrity, and that I need to start to put myself first with some people, and listen to my gut when it tells me to. Despite  that this lesson contributes to  my blessing today: Friendship – real friendship that I have only come to realise I have because of the lesson I have been taught about integrity! Life moves in mysterious ways doesn’t it?

So my small blesssing of friendship, whether it be with friends that you have made along the way in life, or friends from within your family, is about the people who want nothing from you but  support when they need it, and who offer you support all the way.

I have good friends, not least of them my husband; and I have good friends who have stayed with us on this adventure and supported us in every way. Over this last year we have also become part of a group of like-minded people who just want to help each other; none of the normal back stabbing that goes on; but have simply been there for us, offering work, finding Rich work, and inviting us into their fold; just listening when you needed them to. That is a blessing, and this year seems to be the year when we have finally found like-minded real people with no agenda. It has been a hard slog to get here; but to quote T.S Elliott we have found people where this has happened when we have talked to them:

“What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” 

To see my husband come home from work every day and giggle about his day has been a blessing; and it is these people who have enabled that. Here they all are at their Christmas ‘do’ and you can see the camaraderie from the picture.

 We have been to countless gatherings over this season, gatherings where people would ‘give you the top brick off the chimney’, and we have been blessed for that. Perhaps that has been the gift of the season: For us to meet people like this; because we made two new friends on Saturday that serendipity had stepped in and sent our way. I truly felt that moment of ‘what you too?’ with them.

There have also been my cyber community of friends, those who share each other’s posts because they think they are so good others should read them; those who send small words of comfort, even though I have never actually met them – I know that to have you in my life I am blessed.

Then let us not forget the old friends, some who have come back on the scene only recently who need me now as they were there for me, and I will be there.

Our French friends who have embraced us inti their lives, words cannot begin to describe their kindness.

Then there are the ones with whom we had great fun this summer, and laughed every day, nearly all day.

But this is my final friendship blessing:-My Sister, who I have come to realise (finally) truly only wants the best for me; and tries so hard to keep to the promise she made. I know that now, and I will never forget that again.

We can’t let the past dictate our present and future, we have to see what we have now, because that is the only moment.

So this is my blessing lets raise a toast on this New Years Eve to real friends, new and old.

Moisy

It’s New Year folks a time for reflection, please share this thread and let’s get everyone counting their blessings.

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Counting My Blessings: Day 7

30 Sunday Dec 2018

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, My home, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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This is Wiglet, my curly blessing; and I count her as a blessing for many reasons:

Wiglet came into our life three years ago, when she was two years old. She had been bought to show and breed; and she came from high ranking French hunting stock. But the problem was her tail would not behave; it was just too curly, like a piglet’s tail.

Due to this she would not win shows; so in the first year of her life she was operated on twice to straighten her tail! As you can see Wiglet is just a curl, from the top of her head to the tip of her tail, and that wilful little tail would not be straightened!

Wiglet didn’t help herself when she then killed one of her owners chickens, and she was kept in a pound with other bigger dogs who then attacked her (she has issues now around food, so it was at feeding time we believe). In the end she was attacked so badly that she had to have a new home and was shipped off to a chateau just outside Paris, with another male Welshie.

But the aristocratic who had Wiglet did not like her. We believe he wanted to hunt with her and she is afraid of gunshots; add to that the fact that she was now a vulnerable little Welsh Terrier who needed love and she ran away, in the middle of Paris!

So Wiglet was sent back to her previous owner, back to the other dogs who attacked her, and she had to be shut away from the dogs in a small room. This was now home number four for her, because she had been with so many people.

But serendipity stepped in, as she always does, and a friend of ours (the lady who bred Harley) suggested us to her owner, we knew Welshies, and we knew their naughty and extremely loving ways; poor Rich, when I heard of her plight I just called the owner and didn’t even ask him. ‘We can’t afford another dog!’ He said. Wiglet came to live with us two days later.

Do you think she is a daddy’s girl?

She is our blessing because she is so grateful to live with us. She loves her adopted brother Harley, and she is grateful for the love we give her, with her sweet vulnerable little face looking up at us each day.

She gives us so much love, and when she smiles her wonky little smile it makes my heart break for the suffering she had. When I bought her a new bed, her own bed that no other dog had had before her, she got in it and that was that, it was her place; and she lays beside me every night in that bed, snoring.

Every morning she wakes me with a tap of her paw and a smile, waiting for a head rub.

She was sent to us, as much as we were sent to her, and she is a blessing.

Let’s share this series, lets get people counting their small blessings, they help to put things in perspective you know!

Moisy

Counting my blessings: Day 5

28 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, My home, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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This is Molly, my beautiful girl. Nineteen years ago, just after Rich and I got married I found a little ginger female kitten behind our shed; even to this day Rich does not believe me, and thinks I actually went and collected her from somewhere! Sadly Pussy Willow, as she became known, died when she was just two years old, but not before she had kittens, who were born in our cupboard; and we kept two of them. One, Milly Kitten, was a reclusive cat, who liked to be outside most of her life. She died at the ripe age of thirteen, after spending a year sleeping indoors every night. We loved her dearly, and Molly missed her

Molly was a different story, she loves the sunshine, but hates the cold, rain or snow. She is now very old, eighteen and a half years, but all the time she eats, and sleeps (pretty much all the time now) we know she is okay. She has had her moments over the past year but she still loves life and she is a blessing that we count every day.

She was the cat who lay beside me, with Snowy our Westie when war had devastated our lives (see my other blog http://makingthisbetter.com) they literally made a sandwich either side with me as the filling and she loves me still.

Molly kitten is my blessing.

Over the years other kittens have been brought into the house starting with this pretty little thing: Diddyman dod. She is part of our story because we gave her a home a year after ‘The War’; she was our band aid baby and only Five weeks old when we got her. Molly adopted her and taught her all she knows; we can’t believe she is ten years old, time has just flown.

Then we got Daisy, we brought her home with the shopping, as you do! Tom had gone to university and she was our ’empty nest’ baby. She is a huge, but incredibly gentle cat, just happy with life, and a bowl of milk and cream.

Sadly our last baby: Tinky Tiny Tilly, or Tillybet, was a naughty one, who gave Daisy so much confidence, they were the Black Hand Gang. But Tilly went out one day in March this year and never came home, and my eyes still fill with tears for my baby. You can read all about her in my post Tinky Tiny Tilly.

All of these cats, including sofa loaf, (A story of hardship, serendipity, and love -Sophie The Sofa Loaf) are our blessings, they make us laugh, and I know they will make us cry, just as Tilly has; and Molly will. But if you don’t open your heart to love, even knowing it will cause you pain; then you have not lived. It is all a blessing.

More and more are starting to share their blessings, spread the word let’s take people into the new year on a positive. Please share.

If you want to visit my other blog you can find it here https://makingthisbetter.com

Moisy

The Long Hot Summer just passed us by…..

21 Tuesday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, People, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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Almost ten weeks ago (all but two days) Karen and Dylly Dyls arrived for the summer. It has been a spur of the moment decision made after Karen returned to England in April and decided that she did not want to be surrounded by buildings and people, with roofs on the skyline, any more; she decided that she needed space, and the plan was hatched for her to come to France for the summer and see what life showed her.

Because, as we know, life will always show you the way – if  you listen!

And what a summer we have had: from house hunting all over the Pays de Loire, seeing sad lonely houses to grand houses with neighbours that looked as if they should be playing a banjo and sitting on a porch! The house was stunning, neighbours were creepy!

There were houses near stunning villages, with river walks nearbye, and beautiful secret gardens, and Karen came close to making an offer, but none offered this view…..

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Over the months we have all had people visit us to stay; and lessons have been taught; in that sometimes you cannot go back, where people you knew are concerned, and you realise that your life has changed you too much and you no longer have anything in common; or in some cases where people seem to think that you are a hotel, and their tour guide, chief cook and bottle washer, as well as chauffer! (It has to be said, that is the reality of taking an adventure such as this, and I really don’t know why!)

It was definitely a learning curve for Karen, she hasn’t even bought a property here yet, but it taught her what she wants and also how important it is sometimes to just say ‘No!’

We have seen each other every day during this summer of sport what with the World Cup, where Karen and I became football pundits, mainly commenting on if they had recent changes to their hair, or in one case how the England goalie looked better in green rather than yellow!  You should have seen the look on Rich’s face! We took it as an omen when France won, an omen that we were all in the right place and making the right plans.

We have had fields of gold, hay bales of orange and gold, blood red moons, ghostly moons and starry starry nights….

There has been fun in the Swimming pool, with us laying on lilo’s on hot sunny days (too hot sometimes), and I will always have memories of looking up at the blue sky and saying to Karen, “who would have thought thirty five years ago that we would be doing this now! In my garden!”

The dogs have loved the pool, not least our darling Harley, and after nearly losing him last year it was a blessing to see him barking at the side of the pool for  you to splash him. They have been on blow up aeroplanes, dunked and Dylan learnt to swim, as you can see from thr photo it wore her out!

We have had owls hooting at night, bats flying over our heads in the late evening and swallows teaching their young to fly and catch the late afternoon insects. Let us not forget the pink moths, dreaded bitey flies and the toads, one of whom scared the life out of Karen after coming into the kitchen and hiding under a bag

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We have visited Churches, cathedrals, castles, medievil towns and waterfalls, all too numerous to mention.

Aperitifs have been enjoyed, with our French friends,; we have had BBQ’s with friends, liquer coffees, beer, and lots and lots of red wine.

Birthdays have been celebrated…

After Jen joined us we had a holiday within a holiday, and it gave us a reminder of just who your good friends are, those who come along with you for the ride and join in. It helps you know that they are the ones that you need on your mini bus of life…..

Of course we have had the Welshies, zoomies, toys, swimming in the pools, blowing bubbles for them, and sadly sometimes some fights (but they are terriers and they love each other too.)

Right now Wiglet is laying beside me lost, she has wandered round the garden looking for her baby, and huffed and puffed because she knows that this time Auntie Karen and Dylan won’t be back down the road today.

I have not even began on the topic of the vintage furniture, vide greniers, shoe shopping and having to buy a new car – I cannot tell you how pleased I am to finally have a French registered car, we are starting to feel, finally, that we are engaging with the country in which we live, and the country that we love.

But more than anything this summer we have laughed every single day, at each other, with each other, about what we have seen, and we have never judged each other. We have just accepted each other for who we are.

We knew that this summer would be a catalyst for Karen, as it turned out it has been a catalyst for all of us, and if all the plans come together a new adventure will commence. Adventures in adventures, isn’t that what life is all about?

So yes I have cried today, we all have. Tomorrow will be weird because she will not he whizzing down the road with the Dylly monster in the car with her. I know and understand that endings are new beginnings and you have to let go for new adventures to start; but I also know that the next adventure won’t be the same (we may not have old Molly kitten with us, none of our futures are guaranteed). So it us okay to feel that poignancy when something comes to an end.

There is one thing of which I am certain though … I know we are going to have one hell of a ride and it all started with the summer of 2018…….

To good friends, and good times………

Moisy

Memories, the best gift of all……

01 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by in Friends, My home, People, The continuing adventure

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So they came (for those new to my blog you may want to read my last post) Karen, our dear friend, and now a member of our family, and Tom our darling son who we have not seen for three years.

Tom was his typical narcolepsy boy (as we used to call him as he always fell on asleep when in transit on anything that moved including the back of his Dad’s motorbike once!!) So he said to Karen “put the heating on full and it will make the puppy go to sleep, guess what?

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So Karen entertained herself by shouting “Tom! Tolls” every time they came up to a toll and he had to pay, she had a great time what with that and talking to herself!

I was so excited to see them and when we met them on the bridge in Ambrieres, with the youngest member of the family Dylan the Welshie pup…

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we cried. We cried to see each other again, we cried for time lost. Then we went to the pub!!! (We are English after all!!)

As always the French people of out town welcomed us, welcomed Tom wished him bonne anniversaire for his birthday the next day, and made a fuss of the three welshies in their midst – not least the cutie above.

Then we were off home, where frivolity, drinking and eating took place (after unloading Karen’s Citroen with all the goodies they had brought over from England.)

On Christmas Eve it was Tom’s birthday, so we took him off to a little town near us to look at the Christmas lights. Now France is a Catholic country so little is open on a Sunday but we thought that given some of the bars in our town were open the bar in Ceuce would also be open. But no!! The Boulangerie was open (as always in France bread has to be available it is the law!) but no bars. So we decided to look at the lights that the won had made an effort to put up.

Now I love living here, but sometimes things can be weird like the mannequins that were put in in the town (unsure what they had to do with Christmas!) and also all the farm machinery and implements that were displayed with lights around them, mmmmmmmm…… Not sure about those either. Tom thought they were hilarious and weird, and we all thought that they were a little creepy especially the mechanical ones that stopped what they were doing and turned and looked at you. They looked as if some in-breeding had taken place as all the mannequins looked the same apart from the men had beards and the women had breasts!!!

 

I walked around the displays with the words “worst birthday ever…. where did your mum take you for your birthday Tom? To a weird town with mannequins that stared at you and you couldn’t get a drink!!” ringing in my ears. It became one of the catchphrase of the season “worst birthday ever!” And we think we might make it a tradition if he comes next year!

On Christmas day we were invited to our French friend’s and neighbours house for an aperitif at eleven. As always we were made so welcome, and it made me realise how much French I can speak now as I was the translator for all. I think it made Tom feel reassured about our life out here, he could see that they loved us, especially when they hugged me when I became tearful when I tried to thank them for all their help and support. They really are wonderful lovely people and we are blessed.

After consuming three bottles of champagne and cheese aperitif’s we made our way back home to have the biggest dinner in the world (not until 7pm) and open our presents.

It was a different Christmas to any before, Rich and I did not buy each other gifts, we could not afford it and also realised that it did not matter. We have each other, and after all our hard work over the years we cherish what we have.

So we had small gifts for Karen and Tom and they had small gifts for us. Loved ones from England had sent us thoughtful presents, treats for the cats (so I won’t have to buy them) Baileys, Shortbreads, warm socks, and not least a beautiful opulent hamper from Fortnum and Mason’s. It was the kindness and thought that had gone into those presents that meant so much.

But the best gift I received was when my son (who did not want us to move here, and loved our old house by the sea, as I did) stood in our living room and said “It’s good to be home.”

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The time flew too fast with much eating, drinking, giving Tom dirty looks for taking photos of us eating……

 

To sleeping….

 

That puppy was pooped a lot of the time

Dylan Pooped

The little dogs had such fun, forming a pack very quickly with Harley being alpha, Wiglet being mummy and the baby being told!!

 

The last day came round too fast, we went to Mayenne,our nearest large town, and Tom finally got that birthday drink in a bar (well he had a coffee, we had a drink!) On the last evening we all posed for memories (although they will always be with us)

 

and Tom told me how he loved the house, how it felt warm and cosy despite the mold on the walls and there only being an open fire. I knew why, because our house is full of love, and nothing can buy that.

When the day came for them to leave, Tom off to another adventure in Italy visiting his girlfriend for New Year, Karen and Dilly Dils back to England; I busied myself making them sandwiches for the journey, and we all cried as Karen and the pup left. Then came the time to say farewell to Tom and he hugged me hard and told me how much he missed me, but he knows now that home is still waiting for him, always. It is just in another place.

I sobbed as they went, Rich taking him to Laval for the train and the house seemed empty, as the ghost of Christmas present finally gave his last. I cried my way through the washing up and wiping down, and the dogs sulked on the chairs.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas also, this one made us realise that Christmas should never be about the presents but about the presence of loved ones, and the memories that are left are all the gifts you need.

Happy New Year, lets hope it holds all you desire, even if you don’t know it yet.

Moisy

 

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