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Tag Archives: New horizons

Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

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I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

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Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

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So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

what you needed at the time

We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

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And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

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Driven……Part I

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, People, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I have been notoriously absent from my blog; but I can assure you that I have not been notoriously absent from the internet! I have been absent because I have been building another two websites; and promoting, promoting, promoting.

You see as I explained to you all in earlier blogs things have been very difficult; things have happened to us to make us rethink life (as you know in my blog I shared I’ve considered my position- it’s a good one for now), included in that has been rethinking people and also rethinking us, and the people that we want to be on this adventure. It has been difficul but it has been constructive: it brought the Moisy that will never let anything beat her back; and by Christ I won’t!

So  I decided that we needed to make things happen ourselves: gone are the days when we relied on any ‘old boys network’, or even word of mouth from doing a good job, to get work. We had to stop waiting for things to come to us and go and find them instead: I had to put us out there. Rich is totally legal to work in France we even have assurance for his work (which a lot of people don’t) but we were being held back from advertising Rich on local FB sites because of the n’er do wells who always have something to say. Well d’ya know what? I am back and I am not letting people live our lives for us anymore. Hence the websites:

Rich’s wonderful website

On the back of my camping website I decided to make us a professional website for Rich’s handyman/painting & decorating business. I used the skills I have as a writer, and the knowledge I gained over the years of dealing with the public, to make this website for Rich; and then I put it out there for Rich. I have explained how Rich will do the prep work for decorating if someone then wants to do the painting (most people will tell you that they hate prep); and so much more. As a result Rich now has a job to start next week, he has already done some work for a client (who called him back to do more) and we have had over ten enquiries and other jobs are in the pipeline (all in 5 weeks.)

Inspired by it’s success I decided to turn my attention to my Etsy shop, that has been in the doldrums lately . So on a roll I then set myself a website up for my shop where people can buy direct. Here is one of my most recent stock items, I love him and he currently resides in my living room but I have to let him go. He is nearly 100 years old and I have to put my business head on.

But the thing is I  have loved doing it: I have realised that I have a talent for setting up websites, and I have loved doing what I am good at and learning a new skill in the mix;  more than anything I have loved getting results. My website went live last week and this is now on it’s way to South Carolina in the USA.

 

In addition I have always been complimented on my styling and interiors so I am now putting together vignetttes and styling tips on my website.

If you would like to see more then take a peep – I can source items as well and vide grenier season is starting.

Moisy’s shop petitefrenchfancies

you see I was not perpared to give up, we are as good as anyone over here (in fact we both have five star reviews for what we have done) and I am now using that to our advantage.

It has been so difficult that Rich seriously thought about going back to the UK to work; but now I have just started to advertise that he will in fact travel all over France fo work (providing there is a weeks work for him, not for small jobs). We have sourced cheap accomodation for him and this not only gives him work but also provides us with an opportunity to see more of France whilst earning money; because often I will meet Rich wherever he is for the last night and day (with the Welshies of course!) Or I will go with him. We both agreed that if you are going to go back to th UK then you may as well travel around France instead!

This will also stop us getting into what can be a rut of just doing the same ol’ same ol’ (more of that in another post about France and mental health).

As I have said I am back: I will still be kind to people but I will not put up with an ounce of shit anymore; as one of the n’er do wells found out when they put something very rude and unncessary on one of the posts for Rich’s site! I answered them, professionally but also assertively. As always with people who are manipulators she tried to say I was being aggressive, until others started to answer her and say how rude she was. But being professional and kind I stepped in and said that she had messaged me direct to explain and that it was all resolved. We got a job out of that!

Oh, and by the way – we fixed the roof! Ruch and I.

Like I said: Driven!

Look out for more posts folks, buttons are now available on each post with links to our sites.

Moisy

Driven Part II – When you’re ‘living the dream’

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside

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I wrote this blog and had it in my drafts ready to post. Then life took over and instead I posted about how we were seriously re-thinking our position.

Here & Now

In it  I was honest about whether we were going to stay. Looking back now, much of what I wrote in this post still applies: I am still on a roll, whatever we decide it could well take 2 years or more to sell our house so we still have to survive. Here is what I wrote: and what I have added and my additional thoughts since my last post is in bold.

I am on such a roll that I am hoping to inspire others to never give up; and more importantly stop ‘putting up’: with crap, with rude people, with unnecessary comments, with other’s putting you off, with things you don’t like……..

That still applies: I do want to inspire others. Even if we change what we are doing at least we have had the adventure. We have not stayed still we have took the chance. I know that many people (and one of Rich’s fears) will say how we failed. They need to be careful because it is highly likely that they will be the same people who want to play safe and not take that chance. That might be pointed out to them by me!

The same is true in that you should not put up with crap or rude people; or be put off. God knows the amount of time that Rich and I slogged our guts out to do a good job, because we wanted to and because we thought it would bring us more work in. But it never did with the exception of one lovely person (who I have only met recently) but that is another story. Rich and I have never been the type of people who just work for the money; we have to do a good job for our benefit, to feel good about what we have achieved. One of the things that will go into the negative column will be how many times that has been abused since moving out here.No more! 

We were in a bad place over the last few months, in fact I did not know at one point how we were going to pay our bills. But a series of unfortunate events made me stop and look and come out fighting. As a result: our bills are all up to date, we have a few months without worry; and I am confident that we will have more.

I am still confident of that, Rich’s website has been very successful; but…..

I said in my last post that I have been driven and I have. Driven……Part I Anyone who reads my other blog (the link is now at the top of each post) will know that when my back is up against the wall I will always come out fighting.

But in 2014 I had worked so hard doing things for other people (because as my counsellor told me: I was a ‘do’er’) that eventually my brain just burnt out; and as I have said, when first moved over here I was still ill. In addition I read the Tao, from which I got so much: don’t plan far ahead because what you think will happen never does (trust me that has been proved to me so many times.) Live in the here and now; always believe that what you truly need will come your way; all true, all something I still adhere to. But the version of the Tao that I read was a bit happy clappy (I must read Alan Watt’s take on it) and I tried to be kind to everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt; add that to being an empath and that was a mistake.

Now the old Moisy is back, the person who got promotion over 4 grades in as many years; the person who would wipe the floor with anyone who was unncessarily rude or unkind; I look back now at what I have been like and the behaviours that I have tolerated from people since moving out here and I have asked myself what the fuck I was doing!

So after setting up the three websites I have also had a major sale on my Etsy shop and now I am going to turn my attention to my book, which is what my other blog (see link at top of page) is about. I have been approached by a self publishing company to publish for a reasonable amount and it is my intention that this will take place this year. Like I said I am driven: I am driven by the people who read my other blog and say things to me like:

‘This post should probably be handed out to all of the new members of our unfortunate club.’ (WordPress)

‘Oh Wow! What an entry! So much feeling, insight, depth, honesty, self awareneess, courage, encouragement, just everything and I have felt almost all of it throughout this journey. Thank you for sharing! (Twitter)

And so many more……

Their comments have given me the confidence to know that my book needs to be out there. As I said in reply to the comment above I always intended it to be a book that people could use to support them, where people would highlight parts and re-read them when they were in a dark place.

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I recently watched a film about people who moved to France from England (Gemma Bovery) and a character said how people think that they will move to a rural area of France and everything will be just blissful; when in fact the reality is very different; it can be lonely (I am not lonely because as well as some close friends I have so many cyber friends now from this blog and my other blog.) and it can be boring. I will be honest that whilst I love where I live and the view it will not sustain me forever; and I now know that we will continue our adventure somewhere else. I am not afraid of that.

And as I have aleady posted in my previous blog this is likely to be the case. I am not bored as such: God knows there is enough to do with the cleaning and renovation alone. But I need to do more. I am  back and I am capable of so much more; and I need to be somewhere I can take that opportunity. 

It got me thinking and I looked up about depression in rural areas. It is not specific to France, but depression is often higher in rural areas; and France has the highest number of people taking anti-depressants in the world! (By population of course.) Iunderstand why: the taxes are high; the beauracracy is antiquated and needs to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming! We are currently being pursued for a housing tax on the house we rented for three months in 2015. We moved out in 2015 and yet they still try and get us to pay a tax on it for 2017!!! Despite numerous letters.

The countryside is wonderful, the birdsong second to none; but once you have seen it and experienced it for a number of years whilst it in itself will never be boring, all that comes with it: nothing to do, shops all shut down, bars not open past 9pm, sometimes you can go into to town and not see one person and that can be boring!  In our pretty little town there is only two restaurants/bars. Nearly all of the shops have shut down and the town in itself is dying, along with many others in France.

Even our dear friends believe this and were having a discussion in January about it; about how Ambrieres had a beautiful little bistro but it shut down, crippled by the taxes. So what is there in Ambrieres to visit? Once you have visited the two bars (one by the pretty bridge by the river but also on a busy road, one with it’s outside space in the car park! Really you could be anywhere you wouldn’t know you were in France!) what else is there to do? This is the case in so much of rural France. There is nothing there for the young people to go to so they don’t want to stay and move to the large cities. Thereby leaving the towns with mainly old people and families who do not tend to spend their money. It really is a very sad side of France and one I did not realise was as bad as it is until I moved here. This is not exclusive to Ambrieres most of the towns are like it, some don’t even have Boulangeries any more, and that is embedded in the constitution! 

Don’t get me wrong: when I first came out here I needed peace and quiet and tranquility. But now I am back to being me, whilst I don’t want to go headlong back into the fray I do need something more to occupy my mind, and I need to work. I miss really working. 

So back to being driven: This is why I will be finishing my book (I may get to travel). This is why I have set up the campsite, we can get to meet new people and make each day diferent; this is why I have advertised that Rich is available to work all over France, we get to see new horizons. Add to that at least once a month we are going to visit somewhere new, within a two hour drive; and take the Welshies with us. I live in France I need to see more of France, and whilst it may use some of our money who knows what the future holds, you shouldn’t sit and wait!!!

Whilst I am here I am know it is essential to go further afield and see some more of France, who knows what life will show me! 

I read recently that passion is about the love for the journey and being driven is about the destination. Normally I am all about the passion but right now I have to be driven for us to survive. So driven it is! 

Moisy

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