The Hornet (it deserves a capital letter even though it’s dead now!)

Oh! I’m being chased by a Hornet

A Hornet is chasing me

It’s a bloody  great big bugger

And it’s scaring the shit out of me!!


It is obviously really dozy

‘Cos it keeps falling asleep on the beams

But that makes me even more wary

In case it falls asleep on me!!


For those who live here, they’re laughing

The bastard is two inches long

For those who don’t know, believe me

The buggers are aggressive and strong!!


It’s warming up in the light now

It really is coming to life

I’ve developed a backhand like Murray

Hoping the fly swat will save my life!!


I can’t find the bastard it’s hiding

Waiting to jump out you see

I think it knows that I’m coming

It’s making a fool out of me!!


I find I’m in a dilemma,

I’m surrounded by white walls you see

It’s dive bombing now I have sprayed it

But now it’s flying at me!!


My backhands come into it’s own now

I’ve whacked it, but now I can’t see 7

Just where the bastard has landed

Is it dead? Or will it sneak up on me?!!


The Hornet was found dead this morning – I should take up tennis!!

RIP the Hornet – Bastard!!


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