Just go the opposite way that you wanted to go – it’s national roadworks day in Le Mayenne!!!

I’ll never learn French at this rate.! I got up this morning and saw my lovely hardworking husband off to work, got myself ready, wrestled the Welshies in from the garden, and set off for my French lesson, which is about a thirty five minute drive away.

We have been really busy over the past few weeks and poor Rich has only had one full day off in the last ten days. Fear not I have not been sitting on my arse as I have the responsibility looking after our house, but that will be a blog for the future. I digress……..

Off I zoomed down my long lane, out to the main road, up to the roundabout where a little man with a green stop/go stick was standing (and yes it had stop/go on it, not arret/allez. ) He started waving me on, but no I was not allowed to round the roundabout, my only option was to go right. “Not to worry” I thought I have the sat nav, ( forgetting that yesterday it took me down a dead end in the middle of nowhere.)

So off I went confident that it would only take me slightly out of my way, how foolish I was! It was bloody kilometers out of my way (25 minutes out of my way to be precise!) my French lesson is only an hour long!! But I persisted getting more and more stressed my the minute; then, for the piece de resistance the sat nav told me to go left, up a small lane straight into someone’s garden!!’ Out came a perplexed looking Frenchman who I frantically waved my apologies to whilst desparately trying to turn round as quickly as possible.

Now for those that don’t know I had severe problems due to stress a few years ago, as a result a woman with Tourette’s occasionally lives inside me, alongside the Incredible Hulk; luckily only the woman with Tourette’s came out to play and was extremely rude to the sat nav. I gave up and decided to do my shopping instead, because by now I would only get fifteen minutes of the lesson.

Off I went to Hyper U, where I encountered a lorry just parked on the roundabout, road workers who insisted I drive on the other side of the road, despite traffic coming towards me, and various freshly painted zebra crossings, with cones just randomly put everywhere.

I arrivedat Hyper U and all was well ( I had written a list) until I came out and proceeded to attempt to drive up the one way entrance To Hyper U. Now I understand my brain now, and when I start making mistakes likes that (along with driving along our lane on the wrong side yesterday evening, and wondering why the French lady was not moving over ( I haven’t done that since we moved here!!!) ) I know when it is time to stop, before the Incredible Hulk comes out!

I said I would write my blog warts and all, so here’s a wart!! French road workers are a pain in the arse, next time I’ll say no! Or run the bastard over!

You’ll be glad to know I am home now and the woman with Tourette’s has said farewell ,for now.

But out seriously folks if you find yourself making silly mistakes, and threatening to kill the f******g F*****g shit of a sat nav, or worse, then it’s time to stop, or trust me your brain will stop you whether you want it to or not!!!

I off off to apologise to my French teacher.





  1. You are so amusing and never fail to make me laugh but I agree the road workers are a pain in the arise, i find it easier for me to blow them a kiss, it stops me getting upset and spouting expletives


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