The naughty French class

Hi to all

In the last eight months my French teacher has been holding our French class at my house. Life never seems to amaze me that like minded people (like minded like me and a bit mad with no agenda) have radiated towards the class.

Before I go on with this post I need to be really clear that my French teacher Carole is absolutely  superb, in the way that she constructs the class and helps us all. She teaches us about French culture in the Pays de Loire (because it is a farrrrming community) and how to cut corners, because that is how people naturally speak. But more than that she has the patience of a saint!! She must have come to our class and thought Oh a class of adults, all women, should be an easy and lovely class to teach.

But no!!! We are aged from our thirties to our sixties (and trust me the one in her sixties is the naughtiest one of all. I love her!!) and you would think we would be well behaved, but we are like a group of teenage schoolgirls, and trust me I know I went to a convent!

Carol likes to start the class by asking us all what we have done in the last week and we have to reply in French. We are now banned from saying we took the dog for a walk, mentioning the Queen, or tyres (pneu), because it is all we kept saying! Also, due to the nature of the question, since we started we have learnt the French for b******s, because someone had their donkey castrated and they were left all over the field! For arsehole, because I had the hump with Rich and wanted to tell them exactly how I felt! Slapper because that is what someone thought of someone in their village, during that conversation we also learnt the words for whore, arse, sod off, disgusting, go f**k yourself and f**k off, and shut your mouth.

Poor Carole, she tries hard to keep the lesson on track, but we pay for her to teach us and so she obliges!! With all of us giggling all the time. But I have to say we do learn.

One week we had to say what we would pack to go to various places, and Carole gave us a realistic list. Jan took her lipstick and high heels everywhere, even to the jungle, because as she said she may have to charm the natives! Y took a condom everywhere even on a walk, and I wore my bobble hat everywhere even to the spa. Poor Carole she looks at us with despair as we all sit there giggling uncontrollably.

So this week it looked as if Carole was on to a winner.  We all sat there being good, Jan and I in the easy chairs which seem to be becoming the naughty corner. The task was to use the French word for so, for example I broke my arm so I called…. I went to…. I asked etc. We were doing well when Y got “I dirtied my trousers…..” That was it, poor Carole, Jan went pooh I though I could smell something, your not getting in my car not without putting something on the seat!Y was in tears and could not finish the sentence, I was sobbing with laughter. as was everyone else. In fact Y and I could not look at each other throughout the rest of the lesson without starting to giggle. So we did learn j’ai la lourir – I have the giggles. (I hope I have spelt that right because i was laughing so much. )

I love our French class, I have made some wonderful friends from it, and we all support each other, and the French teacher, who is also our friend, she is second to none.

Hope this made you laugh!




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