I try not to wish people a ‘Merry Christmas’ and even more so a ‘Happy New Year’. There is that expectation that Christmas has to be Merry, when for a lot of, people it is often full of arguing, and disappointment. I think that because the expectation that Christmas should be perfect is there, then it inevitably fails. Because imperfection is, in itself perfection, but people don’t tend to see it that way.

I used to be one of those people, striving to make Christmas perfect: Perfect decorations, perfect table, perfect meal, presents wrapped….to perfection. Of course to have that picture perfect Christmas people have to be included, and people being people they’re not perfect and that’s when problems start to arise.

I can remember some childhood Christmas’s where to get through them without an argument was the gift. In fact I have reflected back on them over recent years, and can see how my mum used to try and pull them together. Opening gifts with us, after my dad had gone to bed. I remember many arguments and tears, nothing new, just made worse because it was Christmas, and everyone else in the world was happy, or so I had been led to believe at the time!

I have come to realise that is why once I had a home of my own, I tried so hard, to always make Christmas ‘perfect’. In fact I did that right up to when I moved to France. Life was tough there, and I realised very quickly to embrace the imperfections and go with the flow. Let’s not forget our first Christmas in Montaigu, when Wiglet tried to kill Tilly the cat, who then ran across all my open shelving, smashing the pots and glass bowls on them! Just for good measure the glass went in the turkey. What joy!

After my son was born there were the Christmas’s when my ex would want to put all the toys together on Christmas Eve, often going long into the night (5am rings a bell). There was one occasion when I was trying to tidy the house behind him, ( so it was perfect for Christmas day) and I threw the tiniest bit for a pirate ship away in the packaging. There we were at 4am on Christmas morning going down the dustbin to find that part. Not happy memories.

Some of my most wonderful Christmas times were when I was a single parent, money was in short supply, but I still remember reading the ‘The Hobbit’ to my son by the light of the Christmas tree and a silver lamp with a red shade. We had our electric supplied by pre payment meter, and I was acutely aware of keeping our usage low, to ensure I could keep the lights on. I still have that lamp, it’s broken, but I cannot bring myself to throw it away. The memory is so strong.

There were many Christmas’s in France when we bought each other nothing. But we had each other, we had the Welshies, and our harem of cats (5 at the time.) We came to realise that Christmas was about mellow times, fun with our French neighbours, and as long as I could still decorate our home I was happy.

I didn’t realise it then, but my Celtic ancestry was strong, and subconsciously I was tuning in the festival of Alban Arthur, welcoming back the light, as the winter solstice passed. That’s why my Christmas decorations have always been my favourite part of Christmas. I love pulling them all together, and I have noticed that as years go by I am inspired by nature more and more, often brining winter into the theme. This year my garland has toadstools, stars and icicles hanging from the items in the vignette on my mantlepiece. An.homage to a frozen woodland, with hares and rusty stars.

It was during our time in France that we came to realise that mellowness was the key at Christmas. Some tasty festive treats – mince pies in France had to imported in, so they were truly savoured. Our greatest joy was seeing the Welshies open their toys, and being at one with nature. Who can forget the Hoarfrost of 2016? An amazing natural phenomenon, nature at her finest. It was like living in Narnia.

So my message to you all is embrace the mellowness at Christmas, embrace the moments, I would have that first disastrous Christmas in France back, if it meant I could see my Welshies again.

We will be spending Christmas this year just us and the furries. We had a toxic Christmas last year, so it’s mellow all the way for us this year.

I wish the same for you all. Live in the moment, est some chocolates now. Don’t save it all for Christmas. Live now.

Mellow Christmas….

Rosie

Here are some of my deco’s from over the years….