An Angel Dressed In Black

Elfie pup on Hollibobs

I am sharing this post in the hope that it will up help people who are currently stuck in the quagmire that is mental health. I started this way back before my Vertigo attacks. I think it gives a good indication of where I was then. But when my physical health started to become affected, I knew that I HAD to flip up myself out of it, otherwise I really would be ill. The thought of something debilitating happening to me terrified me so much it was like an electric shock to the brain. I pulled myself out of it. Here is what I wrote….

‘Elfie is a beautiful easy going little (or should I say big!) puppy. She is a gentle giant, and a joy to watch as she runs around the paddock like a mad thing, or plays with her toys in the most innocent of ways (that does mainly involve chewing them up!). But Harley is now very grumpy. I think it is a combination of his age and the fact that he has lost Wiglet, his compadre in crime. He is grieving. But he is also a Welsh, and they can be stubborn, territorial, and generally difficult. When he had another equally stubborn Welshie who would fight for her rights he met his match. But with Elfie he is just bullying her. And my heart is doubly broken for that, for the loss of the team that we had, and the experiences that Elfie is having in her puppy years. It sort of underlines just what we have lost.

I watched Elfie the other evening, when Harley was out in the paddock. Where she is normally climbing over the sofas and RD and I, she was happy just laying on the floor rolling around with her ball. She is a big girl, our house is small and I realised just how much she is getting in Harley’s space, but to be honest he is being a bastard to her. In a typical stubborn Welshie way he will sit in the middle of the floor so that she is stuck. She cannot come into the kitchen to be with me, neither can she get out into the garden. It is just not fair, and the way I feel at the moment is just further compounds what we have lost. Because Wiglet would have bitten him by now and put him in his place!

God I miss that girl.

But Elfie is here to say, if she wanted she could bowl Harley over, and I live in hope that he will mellow, because she really is such a scatty, loving easy going puppy.

Perhaps Serendipity sent us Elfie. God knows we have needed her these last few months.

I wrote all those years ago that this was how I saw serendipity…

‘Now some people will see this as material things, personally I it this as things that happen to you in life, that make you sit back and think. These things are often not things we have asked for, in fact they are often things that we do not welcome into our lives; but if some of us really sat back and thought we may, at times,  be able to open our minds and see the benefits of things that we thought, at the time were bad things…’

I hope I can one day. I am doing my best.’

I will share another post tomorrow about Elfie and Harley, after my mindset had started to see joy again.

You can get out of it, but only you can do it.



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