Tag Archives: Faith

For Auld Lang Syne

31 Tuesday Dec 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, For the live of dogs, Friends, Learning and Evolving, Making our own way, My family and other furry creatures, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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This is a song that has always made me tear up when I sing it, but I had no idea what the words meant!

Auld Lang Syne literally translated means old long since, or days gone by. Being an empath the poignancy is not lost on me: the days that have gone, those that we have loved and lost, bringing in the New Year remembering them, but looking to the future.

I sat in my sunny garden yesterday, in the crisp cold air, and wrote my journal for the first time in a long time, and in it I wrote…

‘Dylan, and Oscar, and Sophie died this year. Sometimes our garden seems full of memories, of the ghosts of all the animals who were running around in it. Let us not forget  Tilly Kitten   who was also here then.

Then there were the chickens, the last girly died this year and Claudy the Cockerel was found a new home and a new girlfriend. Our garden became very quiet when they left, no more clucking, no more barking from Wiglet.

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But life reminds us constantly that change is the only constant, and all we can do is evolve with it; carry our sadness for those who loved us, and who we loved but now we can no longer see or talk to. I have a strong feeling that there is a contingent here of animals passed, all waiting for Molly, whose time is imminent. She sits on my lap now, whenever possible, and I treasure every moment. Here she is, on my lap, early this morning.
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For me the ending of the year and the ringing in of the New is a time for reflection, I don’t anticipate, as I know that life is doing the driving. I don’t look to the New Year believing it will bring me untold joy, happiness and wealth; I just know that it will bring me what I need (even if I don’t realise it at the time).

Last year we started the New Year not knowing if this was still the life for us. We believed that life would show us the way     and it did: we went forward with our own business and used all we had learnt in our careers, and it has been the best year yet, where work has been concerned.  We are still broke but we are the ones in charge of our lives p, and for the first time ever since living here we go into the New Year with some work. Where emotions are concerned we have learnt a lot this year, mainly remembered the people that we really are, we had lost them somewhere along the way, their back now.

I wrote how I finally came back to being me; and as a result my other blog has reached over 110,000 views in just over a year. This blog has more followers and views than ever before and I got my book published. The response from people all over the world has been so encouraging and I haven’t really started to fully promote it yet. So all good. I have met some wonderful people via cyber-space, who have truly inspired me at times.

But we don’t hold on too tight any more. That is the lesson we learnt this year: don’t hold on to something so tight you stop other things coming to you, or you stay stuck. A lesson from the Tao but also a fantastic lesson in Mark Nepo’s book of awakening:

To catch monkeys holes would be cut in coconuts just big enough for a monkey to get his hand through, then the coconut would be filled with rice to entice the monkey. The hungry monkey would come along and put his hand in the coconut, but of course once his hand was made into a fist to hold the rice he could not get it back out of the coconut. The monkey would be so caught up in the food in the coconut he would not let go of the rice, and forget that other food would come along; and the monkey’s who would not let go, were the monkey’s who were caught. All this year RD and I have used the analogy to ‘not hold on too tight’ and today we read this particular chapter for the first time, and smiled.  It’s been our lesson and life has confirmed that to us as the year closes.

It has been a productive year, it has been a happy year, and it has been a sad year because of the beautiful animals who have left us. So at the end of the year I want to pay homage to those who left my life (and the lives of others, leaving them bereft).

In January I wrote how a friend had helped me make my decisiton to stay and try for longer. He was someone I had known for over fourty years. We were not constantly in touch, had lost touch at times, but he was always a kind man, who truly cared. When he died suddenly in March after a short illness I was shocked, and his words rang in my ears: about how lucky I was to live here in the peace and quiet, about how anywhere has it downsides. Of course it does, he was right, and I think about him often, I will be raising my glass tonight to Rod Claricoats, I have no doubt he will be toasting the New Year with my mum.

 

 

Sophie Loafy. Sophie died suddenly in July we took her in for four years she had a difficult life but for the last years of her life  she was loved, more than ever before. RD still misses her riding on his shoulder as works in the garden.

 

 

Osky Bosky as I loved to call him. His name was Oscar and he was a loved and faithful companion to a very dear friend of ours. A big cuddly apricot  toy poodle, who was always allowed his coat as nature intended. Oscar was diagnosed with cancer at a time that his dad was told a dear friend was also dying. I believe that dog held on to give his loved owner time to grieve before he had to leave him also. Whenever they visited or met us for walks (Oscar got on well with all the Welshies) he would be so genuinely pleased to see you. Smiling with his apricot lips, and looking so cute with that apricot nose. It always seems strange when his dad visits now, and Oscar is not with him. I picture him bounding round the garden with Dilly Dyls, smiling, as he always did. A truly beautiful boy.

Dyly Dyls, the little Welshie who was taken too soon. She blew in like a whilrwind, a little tornado running like the wind in our garden with her ears flapping. She went on a new adventure but sadly died soon after. Even now I cannot believe she has gone, and it still brings tears to my eyes. She was so loved, and has left a gaping hole in her mum’s heart.

And Molly? She is still here but it really is her last days, and we carry her and give her cat soup, and just cuddle her. I will cry, but I know it is time.

So add to that my mum and dad, and there is a wonderful New Years party going on up there, with all the animals we have loved and lost ruuning around young and free.

We have learnt that there has to be a balance, in everything, Good and bad, life and death, our love for animals reminds of that.

A mellow New Year, not Happy because there will be sadness as well as happiness. I believe that a mellow New Year filled with kindness, even if it is only you remembering to be kind, will be the best New Year. Just remember don’t hold on too tight.

Rosie

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Understanding yourself: Getting lost

11 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, mental health, People, The continuing adventure

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As you know I truly believe that life sends you messages, and over the past few months we have had some sent our way to really make us reflect on what we have acheived, and how lucky we are that we fight on and have that spirit in us. I have said before that I do not take for granted the blessings I have been given with regard to resilience and temerity.  So on to our story.

We purchased some items from a site on Facebook where people can sell their second hand goods. H went off to collect the items one Sunday and when he came back he was both shocked but also grateful. His actual words were ‘Or Rosie, I thought we had it bad!’ The couple he had visited had moved here the same time as H and I and had bought a very dilapidated house and land, for less than half that we paid for our house. When H arrived they explained that they had the land and house up for sale and were returning to the UK. The house had holes in the roof (literally) where they were simply putting tiles in the  holes to try and stop the rain. The land was waist high in brambles and long grass, and the outbuildings were falling down. They had only two light bulbs in the house and lived in one room, H said it was unlikely that the roof was going to stay up for another month or two before crashing in. We worry about our cesspit but they did not even had a toilet; and they had lived here nearly five years.

But H felt compassion for them. They had spent their money and said that basically they had now run out and were selling their possessions to survive, despite having a considerable amount of money when they arrived. They had quite simply lost their way.

It is difficult to move to a new country and culture. It is not all about sunny living and long days in front of the pool. The language even if learnt (I can get by) is so difficult, and sometimes it is just so nice to be able to speak to someone in your ‘mother tongue.’ This couple had tried to register for work but had come up against the n’er do wells on Facebook, had been frightened with the bureaucracy because they had encountered difficulties; and become so  overwhelmed they had given up. On everything.

I have documented often how  difficult   it can be living here, I have touched on how vicious some people can be. The normal response to this is ‘well that can happen everywhere!’ And yes, it can, but the difference is if you are in a place where you can speak the language then normally it easier to avoid the n’er do wells, and circumvent them. Here if you are trying to set yourself up in business then you do have to use social media sites such as Facebook and then all the little ugly trolls come out. I was brow beaten and anxious about them when I first moved here, as I have said before I was still ill from my mini breakdown; but this year my Fighting spirit was poked (or the Incredible Hulk as I like to call it -God bless Stan Lee) and my resilience returned. You cannot survive on an adventure like this withouth having the ability to to tell people to ‘fuck off’ and mean it. But not everyone has that, some people are so broken by their experiences, and do not have that natural  resilience and they fall apart.

Ever the empath I asked H if he could offer some labouring work but he looked at me as if to say ‘that is not a good idea’, and when he was honest it was because he did not think they would want it, or more importantly for us, whether they would do it well. Sometimes you cannot help people when they are so lost, and that makes me really sad.

A few weeks later H went to price up a job for someone who lived in one of the large houses that  you can purchase over here. They were elderly and infirm now, so struggling to keep on top of any of the maintenance work that was required, but they had also lived here over fifteen years and yet never decorated their house. When we left their house I sat in the van on the way home and it got me thinking: how many people make this move and then become so overwhelmed they just give up? I said to H about how so many people buy the great big houses, and the acres of land and never think that in ten or fifteen years time they will struggle to maintain it. Even now we know that unless I sell film rights for my book (I live inn hope!) we will not be able to stay here forever, the land is too much work now added on to running a business.

Both of these encounters made us think (as we do). Firstly the encounter with the couple enabled H to see that although he thought we were failing (his good old demon doing a number) we had in fact achieved so much. In four years of being in this house we have: put a new water heater in, a new shower, fitted a kitchen (H built it), new toilet, new kitchen roof, water has been connected, all of the house has been decorated (albeit quickly) a new log burner. Trees have been pollarded, new front doors, the garden has been maintained (to a fashion). We have had it so hard where money has been concerned, but we have always believed that life would give us what we need and it has. H realised that he was not quite the failure that he thought.

But you know failure for these people is not the right word: they struggled because they felt overwhelmed by everything that a new life abroad entails, and as a result they have lost their way. In mental health awareness week it is important to understand that and also see that you are blessed if you are able to claw your way back out of the pit of despair.

It also made me realise that although I can be driven, and although I have to ‘reign it in’, as I have said in my previous post , in life you do have to keep going, small steps every day if necessary, but keep going. But it is also important to know when to let go, to move on to the next part of the adventure, and I know my greatest blessing is that I understand that life will show me the way and I listen to it when it does.

So at a time when mental health is at the forefront of everyone’s mind I thought that I would share this with you, to hopefully help. Small steps., simple things, keep going, just slow down a bit!

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For you all: I love this song, it has memories for me, but we can all be Bob.

Rosie

 

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

I’m back! You can’t keep me down for long.’

18 Tuesday Dec 2018

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, My home, People, The continuing adventure

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Someone said to me on Saturday that she had missed my blogs recently; and guessed after my last blog that I was,perhaps, struggling with life out here; but that she hoped not because I gave her hope.

I wasn’t necessarily struggling with life out here, I was struggling with my belief that life would show me the way, and that despite all the crap good would come.

If you’ve been reading my blog you know I follow the teachings and philosophy of the Tao; I know that where there’s bad there’s good, and where there’s good there’s bad; that you may have a lot of crap come your way but if you hold onto your faith good will come; and things over the past few months were making that hard, I was struggling to believe.

But over the past few weeks so many people have supported me, helped us, and they gave me hope: my sister sent me a medicated mouthwash and mouth gel, my friend Saveena called to say the assessor was coming out for the roof, and both she and my sister contacted me almost daily to check I was okay. It all helped but I still struggled.

So on Thursday I looked up and asked for help to regain my belief; because I knew that good things would not come if I could not believe. An hour later my IPad pinged and what I needed started to come my way. By Friday my faith was back; and I started to see ALL My blessings: good friends, new friends, our son, our family, our animals, the stunning place where we live, and not least our love for each other.

I had worked hard all week creating pretty Christmas stock to sell at a craft fair on Saturday at a beautiful old French Mill half an hour from us.

But when Saturday came it was minus six degrees and thick ice, with icicles were hanging off our garden table, and when Rich wound down his window there was another window of ice in its place! The roads were treacherous. But we trundled on, with the van skidding everywhere in the sleet, and set up our stall.

Sadly in the end, and understandably given the weather, only about ten people visited the fair. But we still had a wonderful day. We met two lovely, kind people. They too were doing what they could to keep their dream alive, and we laughed all day. They had spent all summer making these wonderful reindeer and you can find them on Facebook as la petit Cretouffiere.

At the end of the day we all gave each other something: cakes, key rings, angels, chocolates,

And my dear, kind friend gave me this stunning lamp, which now takes pride of place on our stairs (walls to be decorated next year!) projecting stars all over the stairwell

Stars are a big thing in my house, a star is for life not just for Christmas! So I decided to keep my newest design for me – twinkle, twinkle! It now takes pride of place in my bedroom, twinkling in the twinkly lights…

It can be replicated if required by anyone…

At the end of the day we all helped each other load up and tidy before the night drew in. We got home to a freezing house (gotta love that stone!) that took three hours to warm up! But we changed into layers of fleecy pyjamas, Snuggly socks (two pairs!) opened the wine and watched the Strictly Come Dancing final; with a roaring fire, four sleepy cats, and two snuggled Welshies.

I know that we are blessed, we have each other, and we fought tooth and nail to keep that; no money in the world can buy what we have. We have no presents (but the dogs have one) and we don’t need them. Our Christmas present will be snuggling in bed with a cup of tea on Christmas morning, and eating our dinner on our laps, not caught up in all the hype! My happiness is complete with our Christmas decorations, that I have collected over the years.

We have now been invited to various shin digs and I am busy. This morning I woke up to this stunning sunrise and I thought to myself ‘all I had to do was believe.’

And I do, my belief is strong, nothing can take that away, it may wane but it will never leave me.

I’m back!

Moisy

You may want to read my other blog

https://makingthisbetter.com

Change – You’re never the driver..

04 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, The continuing adventure

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Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’.

Times they are a changing. Bob Dylan

So I said very early on in the year that ‘Times they are a changing’ (to quote Bob Dylan). In fact at the beginning of the year I just found myself playing this song as I wrote at my desk; and change they are in many ways for us, in fact they have in many ways already.

It is fair to say that this adventure has changed so many things for us, but this blog is about all of the things that I didn’t envisage:

Firstly we didn’t envisage getting Harley five years ago, but fate made us change our holiday plans, book a gite with the person who bred him, who in turn contacted us when he needed a new home.

When we moved here with Harley our love affair with Welsh Terriers had begun but didn’t envisage getting ‘The Wiglet’, her other homes failed, or fell through and it was because we were destined to get her.

This in turn led Karen to get Dylan, and write a blog about her antics (Dylan’s Welshie World) which in turn led Karen back to her first love – writing.

As you all know we are changing material things, the gate, the roof, having water. There are other changes in the pipline and they will include, at some point, a new joint blog and again this will change our lives and others. I didn’t envisage any of this when this year started.

Then I think of the sprititual changes that this journey would take us on: That I would read the Tao, then read it to Rich, and Karen, although at times  she does still have  ‘Tao Light Thursday and No Tao Friday’! The belief that we have got from reading that philosophy has changed our lives in the physical world, we stepped off that cliff and believed that the things we needed would come to us and they have. We understand that where there is good there is bad and vica versa but to not focus on the bad – see the good in the simplest things (Autumn and all it’s glory as I write this.) and be greatful for what you have each day because there is no point worrying about what you cannot change, and you may not have another day so just enjoy what you’ve got.

In addition, in fairness, I rarely make hard and fast plans, because I know from all the books I read that the best laid plans will never work out because you are not doing the driving.

When I first moved over here I started to write this blog which in turn led to my writing my book. It  was always my intention to share our experiences with others because people need help when they find themselves where we were once, especially those with a strong persobality like my own, boy it is hard to harness the wild horses in your brain some times!  But over the last month I finished reading Deepak Chopra, ‘The Seven Spiritual laws of Success’ and I took my lead from the end of the book and decided to serialise my book and get it out there. I realsied that, as Deepak Chopra says, I would be doing something that I was put here to do, something that I love (writing) and  in that  I would be helping people at the same time.

I realised that I could not wait forever for the book to be published when there were people out there who needed to read it, because it would help them cope, help them  know that they are not alone, help them know that they can get through it, and help them know that life can get better. So I have started to blog it; and the reaction has been overwhelming. Thank you all.

I know from the reaction in over less than two days that this is likely to change our lives again -not least the reassurance that I have given to my husband because he worries that I will leave him one day. (Yes, even now!) But the difference is that now when I reassure him it works and he is then fine and comforted.

I knew that I was taking a chance, that some would judge, but as I always say my dear late mother was right when she said ‘if they’re judging you they’re leaving some other poor bugger alone!’ I started to write because of my breakdown, I was sick of biting my tongue, I wanted to say what I wanted to say and, as with everything, I know that I have to step of the cliff and take that chance.

What does that have to do with having an adventure in France – everything – I have freedom now. I started to write this blog – which gave me the confidence to write my book, and in turn the confidence to serialise it in another blog; I started to read books that made you think outside of the box, to understand and believe that, much as we think we are, we are not doing the driving where our lives are concerned, and although it took a lot of lessons we are now seeing the benefits of that belief.

I would not have done any of this if we had not moved to France, stepped off the hamster wheel and see where life took us.

Who knows what is coming next – autumn……..

Moisy

If you want to read my other blog then it is called making this better @makingthisbetter.com But be warned, there is a possibility of tears and strong emotion.

Thank again

Moisy

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Changes are coming – The Gate

03 Monday Sep 2018

Posted by in My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

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I said earlier this year that I felt it, deep inside me, that change is coming; and it is, in fact it has started already. So what better way to mark that change than to change our old and very very worn out gate – a new portal to allow new things to come our way.

When we moved here our gate was tatty but okay, however nobody had been living in the house for at least three years and, therefore, apart from the odd visit from the owner, nobody had been using the gate – unless the goats and chickens that were resident then felt the need to open it!

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But as time wore on, and the wind battered it, and the tornado assaulted it, and the Welshie’s bashed into it, the gate started to fall apart. Rich repaired it with any old bits of wood he could find – times have been hard and that is the price for the simple life we have – with blue wood, and any old cut offs just to stop the dogs getting out.

We put additional bolts on it to stop it blowing open in the howling winds that you get when you live in a house on a hill, but eventually  the slats started to fall out, and the bottom had started to rot and fall off, and we knew that the gate would not last another winter.

So last week the time had come to take down the old gates….

and dig out the old rotting posts, which were, as Rich and our French friend Matt found out, were buried a meter into the ground. Even with a Kango, pickaxe, and brute strength it took them over four hours to get the posts out, and all of the wood that remained.

I can honestly say that the air was a certain hue of blue up here that day!!! After six hours the boys were exhausted.

But they triumphed in the end and the next day new posts were buried, a new farm gate attached and a smaller gate made by my enterprising husband, including chicken wire to stop any little Welshies called Dylan, from escaping when they visit.

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This weekend Rich finished it off with a lick of preservative and our garden now looks completely different, and as if it is now ours. Our wonderful neighbours all gave us the thumbs up, probably because it no longer looks like Mr and Mrs Skank live here!!

But for me this was a symbol, we were putting in something new that represented a new portal that would let new things into our lives. We have let a lot of things go this year, including some people who we dropped off from our mini bus when we realised that our lives were going in different directions; and that, perhaps, some of them were having a negative impact on our lives.

We have also let some clients go, and Rich has had a change of direction with his career. We realised our worth! Not least where abusive people and people who don’t pay you are concerned, and since then things have only looked better and better.

Let go of the negatives in your life folks and good things will then come your way.

Look out for more posts – times they are a changing….

Moisy

Hope and the young

13 Friday Jul 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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And that is what this post is about – the power of hope; and what the young players in the English team brought to so many over the last few weeks.

I am inspired to write about them not because of their feat – and it was in itself a fantastic feat- but the hope that they inspired in so many young people in England who, at this moment in time, feel so disenchanted and disenfranchised.

England is in disarray in a way that it has not been for hundreds of years: A botched referendum, division amongs many, and mainly the older English people, jobs disappearing at a fast rate of knots, the inability to buy their own homes (after all an Englishman’s home is his castle), high levels of debt, zero hour contracts; is it any wonder that our young people fear for their future?

But this year a young England team went to the World cup without much support from at home; after all England have been dismal for over ten years and I think a lot of people thought that would not change. But along came this young team, led by a measured and calm manager; who presented himself of the pitch immaculately irrespective of the heat and never seemed to lose his cool. He led by example. It is shame that others in England cannot do the same and are only out to make a name for themselves, a particular odious buffoon of a politician comes to mind!

This England team, the oldest only being thirty one and the youngest being nineteen, took the lead from their manager, not only did they play well – and the still have a game to play – but they did so with dignity, they did not respond to bad tackles and bad behavior on the pitch, they showed integrity and humility throughout. But, more importantly, they gave the young people in England hope. Big screens started to appear across England in a show of unity for all to support their home team, the young people started to believe that things could change, that they could improve, that England could get better; and that was the most important thing of all from this world cup.

My son messaged me to say he thought that this was a turning point for England, that if this young team could do so well, then things could get better, he had hope. Yes there were the few that behaved badly, terribly at times and it is a shame that some people focused on that negative and seemed to completely lose the positives that this World cup has given Englands young people; or see that; whilst the behaviour was appalling and it should never be condoned, it happens across the world and not just England.

So whilst these young men lost the semi-final I will reiterate that they still have another match to play and should be supported; and the hope that they have given to our young in England should be noted because at the moment I don’t think the older generations are leading by example. I would ask since when did third or even fourth place stop counting?

Keep the faith in all things, not just the football, don’t wait for the next match or tournament, but use the impetus to make improvements, and to always lead by example.

Good luck boys

Moisy

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