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~ Letting ‘Life’ show me the way.

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Tag Archives: fear

A different Day of The Dead in France. The French have had enough…

31 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in a sense of community, mental health, The continuing adventure

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Asking Questions, covid 19, Dystopian Society, fear, French Protests, Lockdowns, Pandemics, Plans, Revolution in France

On Friday France went back into total lockdown. It’s more organised than the first, meaning Marie’s and official offices are open, but it also means that non-essential businesses have had to shut. (Or what are deemed non-essential, not quite sure who makes that decision! )

I am forever grateful that I chose to give up my job when I did, because the possibility of me being trapped on the Illes de Manche (Islands in the Sea) was great. I can’t afford that now when we are selling up.

I was going to update on the move, but in fact I am going to write about my local community and the current mood in France due to the second lockdown.

The 1st of November is La Toussaint, All Saints Day, and it is a bank holiday because it is taken so seriously. The French take chrysanthemums to the graveyards as a gesture of thanks to those they have lost. It is a revered day, but today the French are united in protesting against the second lockdown and its implications. (I would say for France but it is across the world.) Today they are mourning the loss of all they believe in… Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.

This is a Facebook post from today, posted by our dog groomer. Because the second lockdown was imposed so suddenly she worked from 7am until midnight on Thursday. Now she does not know when, or if, she will re-open. She shared photos of the protest that is currently taking place in Mayenne, on this revered day, on a Sunday, by all the small traders such as her, and by the shops that are classed as ‘non-essential.’ In fact as I write this social media is reporting that it is spreading to all towns across the region.

Choosing to do this on this day is a clear indication of the French mood. This time they have placed the wreath and chrysanthemums to mourn the loss of commerce and equality in France. To mourn the loss of freedom.

The French have had enough. It is safe to say that Macron will not get in again. The French people are resilient people, especially in the vast areas of countryside such as here. They do not believe that ‘lockdown’s’ work, and I agree with them.

I have not written a lot about this Pandemic, I did share Kev’s Post , which so many people were too afraid to read (I know frightening to believe we are being controlled. But we are.) I find it more frightening that people are allowing their fear to prevent them from seeing what is clearly in plain site. Some may want to listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIHoNT_PklY&feature=share

Others, of course may not.

But now I am showing solidarity with my host country, with people worldwide who are losing their livelihoods, their homes, unable to feed their children, let alone themselves.

Fight Against the Unfair Competition

If you look at the plaque on the bottom of the wreath it says that it is to mark the death of commerce. That is what the French are mourning today, and I mourn with them.

I am sharing the story of the protest in the small town of Mayenne about the handling of this pandemic, in the hope that others will start to protest, will start to question why you can go into a pub but can’t drink alcohol (Scotland). Why you can go into a shop and buy food but you can’t buy clothes (Wales). Why you all have to be home by 9pm. Why? Can’t you catch the virus before then? In fact the French are calling the virus The Vampire Virus, because it only comes out at night! Or let’s talk about masks, for all the ‘you should wear a mask vigilantes out there’ because they’ve really worked haven’t they?

I am questioning why we have to protect the NHS when people are dying of cancer, due to cancelled appointments, undiagnosed conditions, and so much more. Do you really believe that cancelling chemo for a cancer patient is to save their life and stop them from dying from Covid? So they can die of cancer instead then? Then they can be added to the stats for all those who have died. It’s a disgrace.

I am questioning why some people think it’s okay (in their naive little world) to say that feeding children is the responsibility of the parent. Is that the parent who works in a pub, or has just lost their job, who was a flight attendant or cabin crew. God forbid we should have any sympathy for children of drug addicts, or alcoholics, or disabled people whose benefits have been cut! You might be picking up I am not into the ‘I’m alright Jack!’ Mentality.

It is time to consider, no matter how frightening, how huge the impact of economics is. The people who have lost their jobs will not be able to buy the things they used to buy, thereby impacting on other peoples jobs when they see a reduction for the need of their services. Mental health problems will increase, meaning a surge of acute health problems, because it is recognised that mental health has the greatest impact on physical health. What will happen to the NHS then?

Just some things to think about. I have been tested many times, and to date have not caught the virus, but if I do, I do. I would of course isolate from others and use my common sense, unlike some of our leaders across the world! And yes I may die, but I still count freedom and liberty as more important than protecting me when I could get run over tomorrow.

If you read the history of Pandemics, the second wave was inevitable, and herd immunity is crucial. If you don’t want to read up on it, because you are afraid this may frighten you more.

I ask the question: What’s the plan for when we come out of this lockdown?

Vive La France

Rosie

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Consider Every Little Nuance

15 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, Learning and Evolving, mental health, People, The continuing adventure, The good, the bad and the ugly.

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

abuse, care homes, Change, covid 19, emotional intelligence, fear, herd mentality, mental health, nuances, Questions, raising my head above the parapet, sadness, sheeple’s, the future, think, understanding

I posted this on my newsfeed a few days ago. It touched me when I read it because, at times, I have felt overwhelmed; not by the thought of the Pandemic, but the hysteria that has reared it’s uglier head as a result of it.

So before I go any further I want to stress: for those who may choose to see what they want to see in the midst of the hysteria that seems to be gripping the world, this post DID NOT advocate going outside and breaking any lockdowns.

So please if you feel the need to comment about self-isolation then read the post again, and again. See every little nuance.

This is a post about understanding: merely a post asking people to understand that what may not be essential for you, may be crucial for someone else. The items (paint and compost) are items that are sold in most supermarkets across the world, so someone could buy them whilst shopping for food.

RD posted it on various sites and a lot of people thanked him for saying what they were afraid to say. Yes, ‘Afraid’! Because they thought they would be shot down in flames by the very people who had also commented in the fashion of ‘You should not break the self-isolation rules.’ And worse….

It highlighted to me the hysteria that has taken over the world. With self-appointed Facebook police jumping on anyone who dare not share the herd mentality, or question some of the things that are happening. The media who are not (or haven’t been until recently) asking the questions that should be asked.

Like ‘What’s the fucking plan?’

In England we clap for those in the NHS bravely doing such a hard, emotional, heartbreaking job. But we don’t question the fact that the NHS is still woefully without the equipment needed. We are shown arial views of car parks, told they have been set up as testing sites, but they are always empty, with frontline NHS staff refused tests, whilst ministers get tested instead.

I have seen very few people question this, why?

All over we have care homes, full of the most vulnerable in our society, especially where Covid-19 is concerned, left to fend for themselves. In the UK they were not even being counted in the ‘stats’, why? Because they don’t count? It is only now, months into this pandemic that the questions are tentatively being asked, and even they are not enough.

Why is nobody as outraged about any of this as they are outraged if their neighbour decides to buy paint? I would ask why over and over, but I know why, because they are not interested, they are only interested in attacking others, it is so much easier than considering something that is actually quite frightening, if you consider every little nuance.

In France there are people who recently asked why there were camper vans parked in a local car park, they were outraged that people were on holiday. The people in the campervans lived there! But those asking and shouting loudly, didn’t even stop to consider that some people don’t live in houses. Because surely everyone must live in a house!

These are the very people who are so outraged if someone dares to buy something that may well keep them sane, and stop them from killing their family. There is such an irony that these people cannot see their own mental frailties.

Recently I changed my profile picture to this.

I kid you not when I say that someone commented on how we were not social isolating! It was taken in December (my hat is a clue) but they just jumped in, not even an inkling to consider any little nuance, like my hat!

My son answered them before I had a chance to.

Why is the general consensus not considering the depth of damage that will be caused in mental health? The children who are trapped with an abuser, day in, day out, who will take that into their lives in the future. The partners trapped in an emotionally abusive or violently abusive relationship, the people locked in flats with their loved ones who suffer from dementia, mental health problems, drug addiction. Those who will lose all they have worked for, their livelihood, their homes. Who is giving any thought to those who have no food? Has anyone considered the impact of this lockdown, which will, over the years, kill more people than Covid-19 itself?

As someone recently wrote you have to give people a deadline, something to look forward to. Although it may not exactly appear as promised, it still gives people hope.

The lack of emotional intelligence in this whole sorry saga has been highlighted to me time and again. The herd mentality to only see what we want to see, and attack any who don’t want to be part of the herd has been depressing.

I fear that more than Covid-19. I fear what the world will become.

Rosie

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Understanding yourself: Getting lost

11 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by RosieJoseph in Change is a coming, mental health, People, The continuing adventure

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

acheiving, adventures, be strong, Bureaucracy, Change, failure, Faith, fear, feeling lost, Finding ourselves, having the ability, language barriers, learning, LIfe, losing our way, lost, mental health, move forward, n'er do wells, overwhelmed, People, pulling yourself back, resilience, small steps, success, trolls

Image result for images overgrown garden

As you know I truly believe that life sends you messages, and over the past few months we have had some sent our way to really make us reflect on what we have acheived, and how lucky we are that we fight on and have that spirit in us. I have said before that I do not take for granted the blessings I have been given with regard to resilience and temerity.  So on to our story.

We purchased some items from a site on Facebook where people can sell their second hand goods. H went off to collect the items one Sunday and when he came back he was both shocked but also grateful. His actual words were ‘Or Rosie, I thought we had it bad!’ The couple he had visited had moved here the same time as H and I and had bought a very dilapidated house and land, for less than half that we paid for our house. When H arrived they explained that they had the land and house up for sale and were returning to the UK. The house had holes in the roof (literally) where they were simply putting tiles in the  holes to try and stop the rain. The land was waist high in brambles and long grass, and the outbuildings were falling down. They had only two light bulbs in the house and lived in one room, H said it was unlikely that the roof was going to stay up for another month or two before crashing in. We worry about our cesspit but they did not even had a toilet; and they had lived here nearly five years.

But H felt compassion for them. They had spent their money and said that basically they had now run out and were selling their possessions to survive, despite having a considerable amount of money when they arrived. They had quite simply lost their way.

It is difficult to move to a new country and culture. It is not all about sunny living and long days in front of the pool. The language even if learnt (I can get by) is so difficult, and sometimes it is just so nice to be able to speak to someone in your ‘mother tongue.’ This couple had tried to register for work but had come up against the n’er do wells on Facebook, had been frightened with the bureaucracy because they had encountered difficulties; and become so  overwhelmed they had given up. On everything.

I have documented often how  difficult   it can be living here, I have touched on how vicious some people can be. The normal response to this is ‘well that can happen everywhere!’ And yes, it can, but the difference is if you are in a place where you can speak the language then normally it easier to avoid the n’er do wells, and circumvent them. Here if you are trying to set yourself up in business then you do have to use social media sites such as Facebook and then all the little ugly trolls come out. I was brow beaten and anxious about them when I first moved here, as I have said before I was still ill from my mini breakdown; but this year my Fighting spirit was poked (or the Incredible Hulk as I like to call it -God bless Stan Lee) and my resilience returned. You cannot survive on an adventure like this withouth having the ability to to tell people to ‘fuck off’ and mean it. But not everyone has that, some people are so broken by their experiences, and do not have that natural  resilience and they fall apart.

Ever the empath I asked H if he could offer some labouring work but he looked at me as if to say ‘that is not a good idea’, and when he was honest it was because he did not think they would want it, or more importantly for us, whether they would do it well. Sometimes you cannot help people when they are so lost, and that makes me really sad.

A few weeks later H went to price up a job for someone who lived in one of the large houses that  you can purchase over here. They were elderly and infirm now, so struggling to keep on top of any of the maintenance work that was required, but they had also lived here over fifteen years and yet never decorated their house. When we left their house I sat in the van on the way home and it got me thinking: how many people make this move and then become so overwhelmed they just give up? I said to H about how so many people buy the great big houses, and the acres of land and never think that in ten or fifteen years time they will struggle to maintain it. Even now we know that unless I sell film rights for my book (I live inn hope!) we will not be able to stay here forever, the land is too much work now added on to running a business.

Both of these encounters made us think (as we do). Firstly the encounter with the couple enabled H to see that although he thought we were failing (his good old demon doing a number) we had in fact achieved so much. In four years of being in this house we have: put a new water heater in, a new shower, fitted a kitchen (H built it), new toilet, new kitchen roof, water has been connected, all of the house has been decorated (albeit quickly) a new log burner. Trees have been pollarded, new front doors, the garden has been maintained (to a fashion). We have had it so hard where money has been concerned, but we have always believed that life would give us what we need and it has. H realised that he was not quite the failure that he thought.

But you know failure for these people is not the right word: they struggled because they felt overwhelmed by everything that a new life abroad entails, and as a result they have lost their way. In mental health awareness week it is important to understand that and also see that you are blessed if you are able to claw your way back out of the pit of despair.

It also made me realise that although I can be driven, and although I have to ‘reign it in’, as I have said in my previous post , in life you do have to keep going, small steps every day if necessary, but keep going. But it is also important to know when to let go, to move on to the next part of the adventure, and I know my greatest blessing is that I understand that life will show me the way and I listen to it when it does.

So at a time when mental health is at the forefront of everyone’s mind I thought that I would share this with you, to hopefully help. Small steps., simple things, keep going, just slow down a bit!

Image result for images of sitting on a park bench in autumn

For you all: I love this song, it has memories for me, but we can all be Bob.

Rosie

 

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

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