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Tag Archives: Hope

Changes: I never thought it

25 Sunday Nov 2018

Posted by in People, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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When we originally moved to France I always had it in the back of my mind that I would write the book that I am now serialising in my other blog .

But I also thought that I would be able to continue to work in some way, and I think I said many moons ago that I would do anything. Well arthritis has put paid to that, and whilst I can still do any admin task I cannot clean gites, and chateaus. or houses anymore, or help Rich, because my hands have now given up the ghost, as has one of my legs. In addition I think that all of the horrible people that I met along the way was life’s way of telling me to have the confidence to write. I believe that I will get published one day.

It does drive me nuts that I am not working in some way, so I turned my hand to writing my book, and this blog, and the other blog, and now it has turned into a full time job – albeit not a paid one at the moment.

But there have been so many other rewards: The cyber friends that I have made across the world including the USA  and Canada. I have had the most wonderful conversations and giggles with them, not least Marty from Snakes in the Grass who has sent me the most wonderful emails, or Dolly Allen from the Queen Is In with whom I have had some real giggles – not least last week talking about cockney accents and Dick Van Dyke! Methinks we are pretty similar. I have been told that I must visit should I ever find myself in America – how lovely is that?! You may want to read their blogs folks I can recommend them.

But over the last two months there have been people who have contacted me for help in understanding what has happened to them, and for hope that it can get better. That is why I have written my book, that is why I have started the other blog. Who would have thought that out of so much heartbreak good can come from it by using what you learnt to help others?

There have also been people who have contacted me to say how I have inspired them, through my writing, to take the plunge and have that adventure. Not least my dear friend Mary, who is off to the rural countryside in England and doing something new, and a lovely lady from England who told me that my post about what happened to me, and my breakdown made her cry and realise that she had to make change. For some people I know… I little bit more about me

But more than anything I never would have believed that this adventure would lead me to a whole host of people who just want to give hope and support to others, in what are really difficult times in their lives.

I just wanted to say this – you never know what an adventure will hold for you, I didn’t expect this!

Have a good Sunday folks.

And this one’s for Marty –  a lovely foggy sunrise that Rich snapped last week.

Moisy

http://makingthisbetter.com

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There is nothing like being in the crisp, cold air…

18 Sunday Nov 2018

Posted by in My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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You’ll all be glad to know that the Incredible Hulk is now back in his cage.

Yesterday after blogging and writing I spent the afternoon in the garden with hubby and the puppies.

The sun was shining on this late autumn day, and it was cold, with a nippy wind, and I loved it. I let the cold air blow through my brain, and remind me, as the Tao so often does, that what is needed is what you’ve got.

We spent the afternoon using our wonderful new tool that has been a life saver for Rich, the log splitter:

Nearly three years ago we chopped down fourteen pine trees that divided our garden and cut out the light. They were big babies and trying to cut through them with just a chainsaw was nigh on impossible.

But with the log splitter life was made easy because Rich could cut the logs to the right size and the log splitter did the rest. Making light work of it – almost

They’ve been protection for the chickens, an extra to make sure Wiglet could not get under the wire. They have been used to hold the fencing down around the garden, and they have been used as perches for the chooks. But the time has come to use them, before they rot.

There is nothing more rewarding than using what is available to you, letting nothing go to waste. Add to these the logs we have from the sycamore we pollarded in January, with more to cut; and the oak logs, with more to cut, that will not be ready until the winter after next, and we are set up for the next three winters.

So the log store is full with a mixture of pine and hardwood (you can burn pine providing you mix it with other woods) I’ve burnt calories, the puppies are happy and our garden is getting tidy, in small steps.

I don’t have a lot in material things, but what I do have money cannot buy. I am blessed.

Moisy

Have a good week folks

Doesn’t matter where you live you just accept things as they are..

06 Tuesday Nov 2018

Posted by in My home, Reflections, The seasons

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Here is a blog that I wrote last week, and forgot to share with you – sorry about that folks! I would welcome comments on this one….

Since the chilly temperatures last weekend the weather had now become weirdly very warm, and ever so slightly wet. Last year we had the wettest winter ever recorded in France and it can get very grey, very fast over here, which I know gets some people down.

As I look out of my window from where I write there is drizzle in the air and a feeling of dampness everywhere. The Welshie’s are snuggled and asleep and I have lit the fire early today. (I count that as a blessing as we have enough wood to not worry when we light it – for the first time in three years.)

Grey is my favourite colour, most of my house is painted one shade or another of it, and I often sit up here on the hill alone, whilst Rich and my neighbours are at work. It would be quite easy to feel isolated but I don’t. I am someone who likes her own company, I am busy with my two blogs now, and I am writing for hours every day to hone my book because come hell or high water it will be published – with another month heading to the eight thousand views scenario I would be mad not to believe in it.

I do a lot of reading as part of my research, and today I read a post where it said that it was okay to feel down and it got me thinking (which I am blessed to have time to do whilst living on this French hill) am I too positive?

I have blogged in the past about how someone told me that I was – but then she was a person who never seemed happy in her life, no matter what it gave her, and had often suffered from depression.

So can you be too positive? I know from reading the Tao that where there is good there is bad and where there is bad there is good, and perhaps it is that thought that keeps me going through the bad times, that I know that if I believe eventually good will come my way – in whatever form as long as I believe it. I also know that we continously focus on the negative only negative crap will come our way because we are attracting it. But do I not see the negative shit? Or am I now able (after reading the Tao) to just accept the fact that it is ‘just life’?

Let’s look at our roof scenario – it had major damage from a storm in the March of 2016, and then the insurance company refused to pay out. At that time I had lived here a year and yes I was stressed about it. Wondered how we would survive, berated the world for sending crap our way, and it just seemed as if we couldn’t get a break. Then two months later I started to read the philosophy of the Tao (The book was called ‘Change Your thoughts, Change Your Life) and it did change my life. When I first started reading it I wondered what the hell it was talking about, but I perservered and now I get it; but boy did it take time!

In the September a tornado ripped through our garden tearing the silver birch tree in half and finishing off the roof. As you know if you read this blog we had only a tarp that kept us for the elements and we had that tarp for another two years.

But here is the rub: I had learnt that to worry about it was not going to change it. We didn’t have the money to get it done, the water was going to come in but I had to accept that there was nothing I could do until the opportunity arose to fix it. Yes it could have got into the electrics – but it didn’t – yes it could have rotted the rafters – but it didn’t (well not completely) but what was me worrying about it, or being fed up about it going to achieve? Nothing!

I learnt that when the time was right we would get the new roof we needed and we have, we still carried on living here, we did not die! The same as with the water, I learnt from that lesson never to waste water or take it for granted again.

As the years  have gone on I have learnt that worrying and stressing will get me nowhere, and I just have to accept what life dishes out to me, and go with the flow.

Where there is good there is bad and where there is bad there is good. If I don’t know the bad then I won’t know the good.

So am I too positive?

Moisy

Being positive joke

As I sit here…..

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here this morning, with my first cup of tea of the day (I am English after all!) I have found the urge to write.

The picture above is my garden at this present moment that I am writing this. The view from the valley as you can see is totally obscured because there is a thick fog and autumn has finally rolled in. A complete contrast to just weeks ago..

For the first time this season we have condensation on our windows, and single figure temperatures outside, but our house is warm. The roof on our kitchen has finally been replaced (more of that to come in another post) and add to the mix our new front door and the difference it has made is immeasurable. I smiled to myself today when I looked at our doors, and there was no condensation on them.

Sadly they are nowhere near as pretty as our old door, but it had to go, it was beyond repair (and trust me I tried) the oak had split from the hundred years of driving rain and wind it had endured so it could not be saved. We have re-used it (as you would know we love a bit of old and vintage, and will repurpose where we can, you only have to look at our Etsy shop) as a feature in our garden, it now plays the part of a secret door into a fairy kingdom.

I know we’re mad! But helps in life sometimes!

I love the autumn, One of the biggest things for me about living here is the changing of the seasons. I’ve said it before and I will probably say it again; it is a constant reminder that things change, and that although they will come back again they will never be the same as the one before. Nothing in life ever is. For me the autumn is the most poignant because all the things are dying off, it is the end of something that you will never get back, and it is a reminder to treasure every moment.

As some of you may know I am sharing a story from long ago about Rich and I, it has taken off. It is a sad story, but remembering where we are now, it is a story of hope. It too is a story of something dying and then coming back again, but in a different way, it was never going to be what it was before. Perhaps it is apt that I decided to share it in the autumn!

For those who have read my blog over the years you will know it made us stronger, and gave us the courage to take this adventure; and despite the hardships we have had along the way they have never broken us, almost sometimes, but we have always got through.

We have learnt that money really does not buy you happiness, and material things may give you comfort but they don’t make you happy. Because despite having no water, no roof, a leaking cesspit, dodgy cars at one point, and at times been down to the last six euros to our name, things have always come through, because we are happy in our minds. We have the ability to laugh, sometimes at each other, every day. We lost our egos.

So yesterday we read a passage from the Tao and the explanation asked a question, to think about what you thought made you happy and then ask yourself if that were true. It was designed to help people realise that the material things they bought did not really make them happy. So Rich and I both thought about it independently and both came up with the same answer, independently: it was to sit in our garden and look out across the valley.

We love our life, we love the simplicity and we both agreed that even if we had enough money to not have to worry about spending it, we still wouldn’t go out for meals, our greatest pleasure would be to sit in our garden and look at the view, with each other. (And all the furries of course!)

We are blessed.

Have a food day folks, enjoy the small things.

Moisy

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To always have hope – Feels like home

16 Sunday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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When we moved here, three years ago last month. our pampas grass was small and not growing well.

It was squashed between numerous pine tress that overshadowed it depriving the poor pampas grass of any light; add to that Harley would lay in it as if it was a little nest and it did not stand much chance. Despite this it continued to live, but no grasses would appear in September and stand tall and majestic with their fronds blowing in the wind.

I love pampas grasses. I always wanted it to grow, lived in hope that one day it would have huge grasses, the size of paddles, blowing in the breeze and framing our beautiful view. Well this year we choppped down most of the trees – we had to some were dead, some posed a risk to the electricity cables – and the pampas finally got the light that it needed.

‘It won’t grow’ said Rich when we talked about it one night, ‘Harley still lies in it and squashes it!’

But I held on to hope. I had started to get the vibe that this old French farmhouse, and it’s ghosts of the past two hundred years, had finally accepted ‘Les Anglais’ and realised that we loved the house as much as they had. Being French they knew that, although we had not had much money, we would do our best to look after it; and, suddenly, things started to go our way: The trees were chopped down, the front door was replaced, the gate was replaced, the water connected, we now have French vehicles, our roof will be done before winter. We have the support and help from good friends, some considered as family, and help from those who care, and as the year went on the pampas grass grew and grew.

So here we are now and this is our pampas grass

Things are changing …..

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin’.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin’

Bob Dylan

Have a good weekend folks never give up, always have hope

Moisy

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The last weekend of the mad summer

17 Friday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Friends, My family and other furry creatures, People, The continuing adventure, The good life, The seasons

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Farewell my summer love, Farewell

And so it has come to the last weekend before Dyls and Karen go back to England, I won’t say home…….

So here we sit, with homemade mojitos, that still need perfecting, and my pink gin and lemonade, a big shout out to my dear friend Russell, and the detriments on the table of all the things that Dylan, the naughty dog, has bought out to the garden ; and we are sad, but also excited about what the future may hold.

The weather is reflecting the end of our summer and when we got up this morning there was an autumnal nip in the air; Persephone will be leaving soon I feel.

So here is to our last weekend, a bbq with friends, a vide grenier, meetings over roast dinner and plans for the future.

I am sad…..

Moisy

We have some plans afoot….

07 Tuesday Aug 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The continuing adventure

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Today will be a busy day. After a day of relaxing in the garden where we all virtually suffocated in the heat (over forty four degrees on our terrace!) we are all geared up for what today brings.

We have some plans afoot, and to get them moving we have some appointments today, and a BBQ tonight with some of those that may be involved in the new stages of our adventure. (And that is not counting the kitchen!)

But first it’s off shopping, and a shoe shop may be involved!

Look out for more, it’s all top secret at the moment! So ask me no questions I’ll tell you no lies!

Fingers crossed folks, fingers crossed……..There may be a new and exciting blog to follow……

Moisy

Hope and the young

13 Friday Jul 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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Image result for quotes about hopes and dreams

 

And that is what this post is about – the power of hope; and what the young players in the English team brought to so many over the last few weeks.

I am inspired to write about them not because of their feat – and it was in itself a fantastic feat- but the hope that they inspired in so many young people in England who, at this moment in time, feel so disenchanted and disenfranchised.

England is in disarray in a way that it has not been for hundreds of years: A botched referendum, division amongs many, and mainly the older English people, jobs disappearing at a fast rate of knots, the inability to buy their own homes (after all an Englishman’s home is his castle), high levels of debt, zero hour contracts; is it any wonder that our young people fear for their future?

But this year a young England team went to the World cup without much support from at home; after all England have been dismal for over ten years and I think a lot of people thought that would not change. But along came this young team, led by a measured and calm manager; who presented himself of the pitch immaculately irrespective of the heat and never seemed to lose his cool. He led by example. It is shame that others in England cannot do the same and are only out to make a name for themselves, a particular odious buffoon of a politician comes to mind!

This England team, the oldest only being thirty one and the youngest being nineteen, took the lead from their manager, not only did they play well – and the still have a game to play – but they did so with dignity, they did not respond to bad tackles and bad behavior on the pitch, they showed integrity and humility throughout. But, more importantly, they gave the young people in England hope. Big screens started to appear across England in a show of unity for all to support their home team, the young people started to believe that things could change, that they could improve, that England could get better; and that was the most important thing of all from this world cup.

My son messaged me to say he thought that this was a turning point for England, that if this young team could do so well, then things could get better, he had hope. Yes there were the few that behaved badly, terribly at times and it is a shame that some people focused on that negative and seemed to completely lose the positives that this World cup has given Englands young people; or see that; whilst the behaviour was appalling and it should never be condoned, it happens across the world and not just England.

So whilst these young men lost the semi-final I will reiterate that they still have another match to play and should be supported; and the hope that they have given to our young in England should be noted because at the moment I don’t think the older generations are leading by example. I would ask since when did third or even fourth place stop counting?

Keep the faith in all things, not just the football, don’t wait for the next match or tournament, but use the impetus to make improvements, and to always lead by example.

Good luck boys

Moisy

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A winter’s walk in France….

15 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by in Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Sitting posing for once

As I have encouraged others over the past few days to get out there and enjoy each season  last weekend we decided to do the same, and take the Welshie’s for a walk around our town and get some photographs to share with you all.

As it turned out we picked the best day because it was extremely cold but dry. Yesterday Ambrieres, and especially us high on the hill, was shrouded in thick freezing fog all day which can add to the bleakness when you live in such a remote country setting;

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and today we have a hooley blowing! So I am busy writing and Rich is busy sorting out little inside jobs, and as I look out of the window and contemplate winding the blinds down early I notice that even the chickens have took themselves to bed!!

This winter here has been very very wet, not as cold as previous winters but, as I may have said before, so wet we have mold everywhere!! The river Mayenne has burst its banks in the town of Mayenne and the river that runs through Ambrieres ‘The Varenne’ has also overflowed onto the grassy banks.

River Jan 2018

 

The pretty little weir is now a raging torrent

Wier Jan 2018

And if you look closely you can see the remnants of a tree trunk that has been stuck on it since the ferocious winds just before Christmas.

As always here, nature looks so beautiful whilst reminding us that she can also be so deadly and that, although man generally does not think it, we are really nothing at all!!

I love the river. When we first found Ambrieres, on a rainy day one August whilst we were on holiday, I fell in love with its beauty despite the rain; from the weir and river

to the pretty little stone cottages that cascade down the hill towards the weir with their lovely tiered gardens ………

Cliff houses Jan 2018

You never know I may live in one of these in the future when I get old and downsize!!! What a view, you would never tire of it!

 

River overflowing January 2018

So on Saturday we found a little road that led down to some stone houses and cottages right by the rivers edge, a small hamlet where the houses had  had pretty walled gardens with the river running up to their edge ..

 

But for me, it is the colours in France, with the old stone buildings and slate roofs; so many different shades of grey; and our stunning Marie building (The mayor’s) cut into the slate rock imposing looking over the beautiful Varenne is no exception..

Marie's Jan 2018

As we made our way back to our car and the darkness was drawing in we saw a sign of hope for things to come, the pretty little catkins blowing in the cold wind never giving up

It was good to come home after that and snuggle in front of the fire for the evening, small things are the most important of all.

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I am blessed.

Moisy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope……

11 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by in Reflections, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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‘Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.’

Wikipedia 

 

 

I have chosen this word as my blog today because I have been inspired by many things to write about hope.

Not least of my inspirations is the time of year. I know that a lot of people feel down during the months of January and February. The land seems bleak, every day is grey (although I have to say that is one of my favourite colours so there is a positive there for me.) the winter has been going on for some time, Christmas is over, often people have spent too much and everyone just tends to feel flat. So hence this post – a post to raise spirits.

I have written in the past about this time of year, how we all seem to hibernate and shy away from going outside and looking at some of the beauty that surrounds us. Even poets who have written about winter seem to highlight the doom and gloom as Thomas Hardy said ….

‘I leant upon a coppice gate,
When Frost was spectre-gray,
And Winter’s dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires…..’

This excerpt is from his poem ‘The Darkling Thrush’ and although notorious for being a bit of a miserable bugger even he had to acknowledge the thrush when it started to sing and admit

‘That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew,
And I was unaware…..’

The Thrush sung of hope, because he knew that Spring would come, that life should be embraced whatever the weather.

We should go out and look at the things around us, the trees that are just waiting for Spring, with their buds at the ready, like my willow tree that I have included in one of the collage of photos at the beginning of this post. They have hope.

And not least the Tao asks you to look at the trees as ‘They stand, and they wait, the power of their growth apparently dormant. But inside, a burgeoning is building imperceptibly …. neither bad fortune nor good fortune will alter what they are. We should be the same way.’ (Deng Ming-Dao from 365 Tao: Daily Meditiations.)

And finally the wonderful Philip Larkin who wrote the following poem called ‘First Sight’

Lambs that learn to walk in snow

When their bleating clouds the air

Meet a vast unwelcome, know

Nothing but a sunless glare.

Newly stumbling to and fro

All they find, outside the fold,

Is a wretched width of cold.

 

As they wait beside the ewe,

Her fleeces wetly caked, there lies

Hidden round them, waiting too,

Earth’s immeasureable surprise.

They could not grasp it if they knew,

What so soon will wake and grow

Utterly unlike the snow.’

Another inspiration is Harley, my beautiful Welshie. When we were faced with the possibility of losing him in November, faced with that terrible decision to leave him in the hands of the wonderful vet who saved his life we had to have hope. We had to never give up; and here he is with us today, running like the wind again in the garden his ears behind him and his legs stretched out in full pelt. He makes me smile every time I see him I just stop and watch.

Times are hard on this adventure in the winter (not for some I know but for most)  the other day Rich and I were talking in the barn and I told him not to worry about things because you can only deal with what you have today, what is the point of worrying about tomorrow when you don’t actually know what it holds? As if to affirm to me that I was right as I walked away and into our garden a robin redbreast landed on my hydrangea right outside the front door; and it turned and looked at me. I just smiled and said ‘I know, I am right, it will all be okay if we only deal with the here and now and not the future,’ I knew it was someone who loved me coming to give me support … and hope.

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I have since made three sales on Etsy!

Another inspiration is one of my dear friends, who is going through what will be one of the most difficult times of his life; as he works his way through the illness and inevitable goodbye that he will have to make to someone he loves so much. But despite all the difficulties he messaged the mad little group that we have on Messenger to say how he treasures our madness and silly antics at this time, because it gives him strength to carry on. Some would say how can there be hope in this situation but there is. We hope that he stays strong and his family stay strong, and I have no doubt that they all hope that when the time comes the person who leaves will go to a better place, with no pain, young again, in their prime; and that they hope that, sometimes, a robin redbreast will pay them a visit just to let them know that they are still there with them – always.

I have been inspired over the past few weeks by blogs I have been reading as part of the research for my book before I do it’s edit and send it off. My book is a book of heartbreak and hope; and the hope that shines out of some of these blogs is immense. The people (yes all of them) are going through so much pain, but they would not be carrying on if they did not  have hope. Just as Rich and I did. I have messaged some and commented on their blogs and they have all responded to say that ‘we’ give them hope that they will get through it.

So on to what hope has to do with my adventure:

When we moved here our son was very unhappy, I understand he was afraid that we were not going to be there for him anymore. It was, after all, a big life changing event for him, even though he did not live with us. But in the collage of pictures is one of us in our kitchen from this Christmas after he visited for the first time, there we all are with our mould (it has become part of the family now!) and he is happy now that we live here; he has made his way in the world and come so far on his own over the past few years – and this is exactly what I hoped for. I also hoped that he would see our house as home and the best gift at Christmas was when he said “It is good to be home.”

I never gave up hope for that!

And finally a big shout out to all of the other brave people (or lunatics however you look at it) that are renovating old drafty houses over here and in other places in the world. Who are not rich, who have to be innovative in what they do, and who have to change the way they live because of their finances. None of you ever give up hope, and I respect you for that.

So over to you all, at this time of year are you going to be miserable and wait for spring? (Just a little reminder that you don’t actually know if you will be here then! But I hope you will!) Or are you going to go outside and look at the beauty of the world around you? See the hope on every corner, in everything you do?

I found this wonderful poem about hope by an unknown poet – this is an edited version but it can be found at http://www.wow4u.com/poemofhope/ where there are many others to inspire.

….’There might be adventures you never imagined

just waiting around the next bend

and wishes and dreams about to come true

in ways you yet can’t comprehend…..

 

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day…
There’s a brighter tomorrow that’s just down the road –
Don’t look back! You’re not going that way!’

 

As always folks please share, and please comment I love to hear what you think – I really hope you will. Here is to a hopeful 2018

Oh and why the picture of the Welshie puppy Dylan dylly dyl dyls? Puppies are always full of hope and wonder; and she has filled my friends life with joy and hope!

 

Moisy

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Visit my Etsy shop petitefrenchfancies for more inspiration.