Growing up too fast!
A poignant post about Dylan, the Welshie puppy. These dogs, all dogs, they change your life.
I cannot believe that it has been two weeks since I blogged! Life has just seemed to take over!
My dear friend took all of my stock of ‘handmade with love in our barn in France’ wooden hearts, moons and much more, back to England to promote at an artisan market. I spent two days painting and embellishing this promotional board for her to use, and then sod’s law stepped in and the courier company did not deliver it in time!
But such is life and the stall looked stunning anyway and has generated a lot of visits to our Etsy shop petiteFrenchfancies.We are blessed to have such food friends who help us, and I always count my blessings.
As part of promoting a shop, and raising my media profile, because I WILL get that book published, I have twitter, Instagram, and PinInterest accounts, and spend quite a bit of time posting to these sites, but they do work and so it must be done. It was no surprise to me that the stars of the show at the Artisan Market were the moons because I have a moon board on PinInterest that has just gone berserk averaging up to thirty pins a day!
This has inspired me to develop that particular part of the range and branch out into moons and hares, and I love it…
Also Spring has kicked in and the clematis, and hydrangea needed feeding and rearranging quickly, and our pots needed to be fed and prepped for the summer. I plan to have a blaze of blory in my pots this year.
Adding to that we are still frantically trying to clear our garden of the trees that were felled in February, just so we can mow our grass and stop any ticks getting to our much loved animals, especially these two…
The grass has got so long around the tree branches that they are literally becoming embedded and that will have to be our focus for the next week in between working and the two bank holidays that are in France!
So bank holidays mean vide grenier’s where the French bring out all their old treasures,and often all their old merde! And sell them. This is the time I am in my element, searching for pretty little French things to stock my shop, only last week I found these beautiful and rare finds…..
I want to keep the shelf, vintage from the 1940’s but hubby has put his foot down and said it has to go into the shop. He is right of course, we have been without a kitchen roof for three years, so we have to focus now that life has sent good people our way.
But now they have been added to my long list of things to do, as they have to be put onto the shop, with photos to be taken, and settings to be made!
Sadly we also lost two of the girlies over the past two weeks, despite adding calcium to their diet, and rubbing their bellies because we thought they were egg bound they passed away. We could not kill them or eat them and we have had to have a funeral pyre for them so we raised a glass one evening this week to say goodbye as we sat by the fire bin they were in. Now Claude only has three girls in his life, where this time last year he had six.
Like I always say, the only constant in life is change….
So speaking of change Tilly did not return. Her bed still lies empty, and there is a big hole in our hearts.
Last weekend a strange thing happened, TIlly had a small toy bird, that when touched, or tossed in the air would tweet, it sounded just like a bird. It was up on her bed, and I had forgotten about it, but last Sunday, on a wet afternoon, it started to tweet, as if something was playing with it. For two hours it drove Wiglet the Welsh to distraction; perhaps it was Tilly’s revenge for all the times she had chased her! And then it stopped. There was a strong sense that our beautiful little cat was with us, in spirit. On the Monday it started again, and I looked up at the bed, with tears in my eyes, and said how much I loved her, and thanked her for coming to say goodbye. The bird stopped tweeting, and for me, she was gone. But not for Rich, he still hoped; and so on Monday of this week, as he was in the kitchen making the tea, I heard him say “Oh my God!” He came running in to get his shoes on, saying Tilly was on the windowsill crying to come in. I flew outside, frantically cslling her, but she was not there. Rich swore he had seen her, I believe he had, she had come to say goodbye, to tell him to let her go.
So yesterday as I was working on PinInterest this picture came up on my feed, it was as if to say Tilly is with Snowy our Westie Dude, and he is looking after her
i have to believe what I tell others, who lose their beloved pets, if Tilly could tell me this is what she would say….
And yes I do have tears in my eyes.
Have a lovely Sunday everyone whatever time it is for you in your timezone, treasure every moment…
Three years ago yesterday i moved out of my beautiful house, by the sea, to start this adventure. I loved this house, have always said it was the most beautiful house I would ever have the privilege to live in. Edwardian, with so many original features….
I had put my heart and soul into it, worked so hard on it renovating and decorating and making it into our home.
We were so rushed when it came to moving day I do not even remember closing the door for the last time, but I do remember sitting in the pub that night with tears rolling down my face. When my book comes out you will understand why the house, for Rich (and now, as time has gone by I realise for me also), had become contaminated; it could never be the home we thought it would be; and as three years have passed I have come to realise that.
So then we found our house on the pinnacle of the rolling hills that are Ambrieres les Vallees, and we fell in love. For me it was bittersweet, it was not the house I had left, it was not the house that had taken part of my soul. But over the three years, despite the well running dry, the crappy cesspit (literally, all over the cellar floor sometimes!!) and the mold on the walls; it has shown me this …….
I sit in my bedrom and I look out at this my favorite tree and I feel at peace
And over the years I have realised that a home is about love, companionship, laughter, and tears; it is not the house, it is the people in it. I look at my husband, and he is happier here. I know neither of us could go back to a house where you could reach out and touch your neighbour, surrounded by people and noise. We are too used to the peacefulness that surrounds us; and I have finally come to realise that I do not miss my old home, it was ONE of the most beautiful houses I lived in; but this is the most beautiful home. It has not taken my soul it has replenished it.
A chair is still a chair, even when there’s no one sittin’ there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there’s no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight
The late great Luther Vandross..
Have a good Sunday folks.
Barrage, Damms, Frozen pipes, Inspiration, Love, Love of dogs, Nature, Reflections, Sun on the river, Sun on the water, Sunny Winters day, The wonder of nature, Waterfalls, Welshies, Welshies in the river, Winter in France, Winter's day
I have a few posts for you all this week – behind because I didn’t post last week and you will understand why soon.
But I feel compelled to write this one first. The ‘Beast from the East’ is upon us, and over the past five days the temperatures have been in the minus and on one morning we had a very slow supply of water (remember we have the water pipe above ground still so if it freezes!!!!!!!) So every morning we have got up and the first job is to check if we have running water, the second is to be thankful when we have; and be thankful for the lovely warm sunshine that we have also had that has clearly defrosted out pipe.
So after some busy days last week we decided that we would follow the French lead and have a Sunday of rest. The day started well with my husband waking me with a lovely cup of tea that we had in bed; he had lit the log burner to warm the house and raised all of the blinds to let the suns warmth in. I chatted to some friends whilst in bed and after another two cups of tea we got up, cleaned the kitchen (de rigueur when you live in the country) got dressed and out we went. I was determined to enjoy the beautiful cold day that had been given to us.
Hubby had had a ‘reccy’ recently and found a barrage – which is an electric damm, about a five minute drive from where we live and I wanted to go there for a walk. So we put the Welshie’s bra’s on (harnesses) and off we went. The skies were stunningly blue and clear, the wind was cold and crisp, and the sun was warm on your back – giving you the distinct feeling of the battle that was taking place with Spring and Winter.
When w arrived at the barrage we were not disappointed …..
There is a walkway across the barrage and as we walked across to the other side you could feel the power of the water thundering under your feet.
We then walked along the side of the river, where you could see across the river to the the next town from us.
The Welshie’s were in their element, there were so many smells to investigate that they even got there feet wet in the water looking for water voles, and chasing the ducks out of their hidey holes.
To see our beautiful boy braving the freezing water, enjoying himself despite the cold was a blessing after nearly losing him last year. Like I always say, dogs teach us so much. He was having such a wonderful time that we through some rocks into the river and in he went!!!
I just stood and looked around me and thought how blessed I was. I needed no money to experience the jewels that life can offer me, every day. The sun on the water literally took my breath away ..
We decided that we would come back to picnic on the side of the river, whatever the weather, and that we would bring our friends, who are visiting in April, to this place of beauty and tranquility. What a place to sit and be at peace with the world
As we wandered over to a little picnic area that was available we made a mental note that next time we would bring a flask of coffee and watch the world go by.
I just sat there and felt blessed
Not least because I am married to him, and he makes me laugh, every day…
So after a long walk we came home to our warm house (we had left the log burner topped up) got the flames going again and finished a perfect day with some wine and Toad in the Hole (perfect food for a winter’s day.)
When we got up this morning we had no water – after a temperature of -7 last night it was hardly surprising, and whilst I am ever hopeful the sun will defrost our pipe I know we will survive, we prepared for this eventuality. As I always say nothing apart from death or illness is insurmountable, it will all come right in the end.
So the cold has us in its grip, my feet are like ice and I cannot warm them up, and I am currently sitting here writing this post with my feet on a hot water bottle. The room is warm but chilly old me, once my extremities get cold then they stay cold!!
The snow did come in a smattering and we have been wondering whether the pipe that is currently carrying water to our house, and above ground is going to freeze; but if we don’t keep thinking about it then we don’t give it credence and there bye it won’t.
The chickens are loving the sunshine that has arrived with the cold, but not so much the fact that their water had over an inch of ice on it and Rich had to break it up and give them some drinking water in their Chicken Hilton Hotel. (Where there is good there is bad, and where there is bad there is good.)
I have got loads of washing almost dry (although a tad frozen when I have brought it in) and we have embraced the cold and started to work on the garden; whilst wearing two fleeces and a woolly hat (I look so attractive sometimes, but then I look at Rich and so does he!!! Good jobs we loves each other!)
I have cut back my clematis that were starting to grow and were in a bad need of a hard cut; I also fed the hydrangeas that I bought last year, and went about the garden picking up the many many huge branches that have been blown out of our trees this winter during the wet and windy hooleys.
Add to that the precarious ones that were still blowing (unattached) in the wind…
It made me realise just how much you are provided for if you just decide to get off your arse and get it!! As many philosophies say, if you just let go and stop looking what you need will be provided for you.
So Rich and I are now ahead of the game where wood is concerned, and will actually have a stock of wood for the next winter, and some still to be seasoned for the winter after. We have a ton of pine that needs cutting and we can intersperse that with other wood and use it safely if we do so.
I never thought I would be walking around my big garden picking up twigs to use to light my fire- but one of the biggest lessons I have learnt out here is waste not, want not; and now we have more wood to add to our pile and enough kindling for the rest of this season.
As I was doing this I was thinking to myself and wondering if I had more money, would I still do this, would I still not waste things anymore? The answer was I would still do this; in my old life I would come home to my centrally heated home, it had real fires and we used the logs that could be bought already seasoned! Our’s are seasoned, the ones we picked up we had seasoned and, no, they are not pretty but they are real!
So yes, no matter how much money I have in the future I will still break up what my garden provides for us to survive the winter; it sure beats working in an office; and I know that I would rather work for nature than for my last employer!
It is a good feeling to be ahead of the game for once, and we do finally feel as if we are getting there.
When we eventually came in from the garden, hands and faces stinging, the house was warm and welcomed us. I believe it is warming up every year because it knows we love it, each other, and all our furries; along with the friends and family who have stuck with us and shown us so much support; it knows we love living here; and love all the lessons we have learnt
And we do.
The Mayenne River at twilight
So it is official I have now completed my 55th year on this earth; and because I know I am such a different person I thought that I would take some time to look back on the last year and share with you the things that have caused me to change, and make my life so much better in so many ways.
The first decision I made was way back in January, it was to stop looking at the group social media pages for this immediate surrounding area! I found them so negative, nasty, viscous and controlling and I just decided that I didn’t need that shit in my life anymore.
Now I was going to say more but have decided that this topic probably needs a post all on it’s own so look out for that one; all I will say is that my life was infinitely better after I stopped engaging or looking at them.
I really started to understand the Tao, and now follow my life pretty much in that way – although I do have to constantly remind myself every day to not get caught up in unnecessary crap. Due to this I have been accused of becoming a religious nut! Of having ‘found God’ when really, for me, the Tao is a philosophy not a religion: a theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for behaviour. That is what it has done for me it has helped me to follow principles for my behaviour and also where others are concerned it has enabled me to make choices about whether I want their behaviour in my life, or whether I am going to let it affect my life.
In fact folks if you read the Tao I would ask everyone what is God? For me it is just a label that can be used to define something, nothing more, nothing less.
Now, I don’t do negative in all aspects of my life – and when I find myself in the company of negative people I feel like I am in the company Dementors (to borrow from the wonderful J.K Rowling) sucking the life out of me.
You must have been there, with someone who just moans and moans and everything that comes out of their mouth is negative; and eventually it is like having your soul sucked out of you, you come away feeling so down and questioning everything you do and everything in life. This lesson really came to the fore for me in the summer when my darling husband really let a negative person get to him, he was in their company for some time and eventually he really did feel like hanging himself from a tree!! (I kid you not read my post a birthday wobble.)
So after this I started to notice the negative people who were around us, people who only wanted to criticise, and when you actually listened to them not a good thing came out of their mouth – or sometimes it would when they realised that they had overstepped the mark. Too late for me I’m afraid. I step away now.
I mean lets us not forget, as I blogged earlier in the year, I was actually told I was too positive!!! WTF!!!
So I distanced myself from the negative people and boy am I happier and in a better place now – good things are coming my way.
As some of you may know (from my post a little bit more about me) I don’t do confrontation either. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t give people crap and I don’t put up with crap from them; the difference now is that I don’t get angry, I stay cool, calm and collected but I still say ‘no’ if I need to.
It has been interesting for me this year where this is concerned, because I have encountered people who knew what had happened to me, knew that I have the Incredible Hulk inside me, and it was as if they wanted to press my buttons to bring it out. They seemed to assume that because I did not lose my temper I was weak and a pushover.
Those who know me well, and probably some of you that read this blog, will giggle at that thought because it is so untrue. In addition they would not want the Incredible Hulk inside me to come out because then they would be hurt, and I would be tired for weeks, feel awful and may possibly have been arrested!
Luckily I am now able to step away, or calmly ask questions for clarification -which they don’t want to give because they would have to acknowledge they were arseholes – and that tends to sort the situation out.
I have learnt over the year not to ask others for explanations and not to offer explanations to others. I don’t expect explanations and when people expect them of me I now ask them why? Ego perhaps!!
The reason for this is because when people expect and explanation from you is this because they seem to think that you should care what they think?
There are some people that I know and love and I do care what they think. But those people never seem to ask me for explanations. By giving explanations you are allowing others to live your life for you, and that is, quite simply, not my thing honey! If you are not on my mini-bus of life then I offer no explanations. (For those new to my blog you may want to read the post – so who is on your mini-bus of life.)
So I don’t care what most people think and that has worked out brilliantly for me as a writer because if I did I would write absolutely nothing!! As one of my beloved readers from this blog told me ‘It’s all copy!!’
That brings me to one of the other big things I learnt and that is to write what I want. My book – people will be shocked I have shared!! My blog who wants to read about where I went in France all the time! It seems to have worked my followers are now near 300 and rising every day with well over fifty hits a day. Thank you and welcome keep the ball rolling.
I have learnt who the important people are in my life, and what is important to me where people are concerned. I have also learnt to look at myself and how I react to others, and to let the past go and deal with the relationship now. Everyone is different and I just go with the flow – unless you are insecure or negative, sorry but they are a no no for me I find that insecure people tend to bring others down and I don’t need that. I wish them well, hope that they find their way and if they do and they want to reconnect always happy to.
And one of the most important things: My mini bus has driven along the road and picked back up some good friends that I had lost contact with along the way in life- We have all learnt things during the time we have been absent from each others lives and we have come to realise that there are some people who you cannot let go of , because when they come back into your life they are on the same page as you – they just took a different route to get there; and I have found we are all infinitely wiser for the journeys we have had.
Not least in that is my son, who has found his way in life and is flying high because by taking this adventure we pushed him off the cliff and trusted that he would be caught; just like we have. You have to believe, trust me.
So here is to the next year of my life, I feel already that it is going to be a good one – ever positive me!!!
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Big socks, blogs, Book, buds, furry friends, Greek Mythology, hamster wheel, LIfe, Maire, Moira, Mold, Mould, New Year, premonition, publishing, Reflections, research, serendipity, springtime, The Fates, writing
I always love this time of year. It is something New, in fact the biggest new thing we will get this year, a New Year!!! A time to reflect, and consider a way forward, perhaps a new way forward, an opportunity to change your life in fact. The opportunity is always there if you want it.
I started this post over two days ago, but just got caught up in other things, mainly some research for my book; because, although it is written, I thought I would read some blogs about the topic I have written about. Other people’s stories that are similar to my own. But you see my book is about ‘our’ story, it is not just ‘my’ story, and as I have researched I can only find blogs on the singular and not the plural perspective; and I realised that there is, still, nothing out there like ‘our story.’
What does this have to do with the New Year? This is the year that I am going to make change, I AM going to publish my work, and I AM going to help others with regard to the topic of my book, and I AM going to make change for Rich and I.
I have had a strong premonition, picture really, in my head of our house with a new front door (sadly I cannot save the one we have, she is too far gone and is now on ‘death row’.)
It will be a double glazed UPVC because, do you know what? I have come to realise that sometimes we just have to be realistic with regard to what we need to live out here; especially when living on the pinnacle of a hill with the wind and the rain lashing our poor house at every turn. (It has been a wet winter, so we have a very mouldy house!)
I also have a strong picture of Rich and I being in a better position by the end of the year, I don’t know why but it really is so strong that I am going to go with it.
For me there have been a few omens:
The New Year literally blew in and blew the other one right out But the tarp on the roof held firm and despite a small leak over Christmas (it is what it is!) there were no leaks no matter how hard the wind blew.
I took the puppies for a walk in the hooley because I love the way the wind seems to blow all of the cobwebs from your brain, and I looked around at all the shoots and the beautiful green hills, and I thought let it blow, just let it blow because it is all part of nature and I love being surrounded by it at every turn.
I noticed that Spring is on it’s way, the fields are already green and there are shoots appearing on my clematis, even though I planned to cut them back hard in January; I still need to do that! There are catkins are on the trees, and the little fluffy boots on my willow tree are starting to come through. Another reminder that things continue on whether we want them to or not, and we just have to go with the flow.
But it has also reminded me that life is passing so quickly, we are five days into the year now! And I need to stop pontificating and just do it, make some slight changes to my book and send it to some more publishers.
In addition I picked up a couple of other blogs that are about the same topic as my book, it was as if they were sent to me to help me realise that I really do need to get my book out there. My heart goes out to the people who are struggling as I was.
And then, today, a weird thing happened: long ago I signed up to a dictionary site and they had sent me the meaning of my name! It was the word of the day. How weird is that?
Now I always thought that my name, Moira, was a Celtic name, because my dad was Irish, and I believed that it came from Maire, which means Mary, and also drop of the sea.
But today I learnt that it actually derives from Greece and is, in fact, another name for ‘The Fates’, the white robed figures in Greek mythology that represent Destiny. Most people who read my blog will know that I do believe in fate, that someone else is doing the driving where life is concerned (The mini bus of life) and that Serendipity is my favourite word (Oh Serendipity! My beloved friend.) So to find out that I am actually named after ‘The Fates’, for me is a really strong message, that this year my fate will change – in a positive way. That the New Year is bringing with it a message – ‘Change your fate girl, and believe in yourself, because that person who is doing the driving is trying to tell you something!’ If I am named after Fate then surely I can now change my own!
So I sit here now, starting a days writing with my blog because it always gets the juices flowing. I am surrounded by furry writing companions, both of who I am blessed to have with me, Molly Kitten being eighteen this year, and Harley who as you know from my blog almost died in December but who is here with me today; what wonderful companions to have!
I am writing this post because if we had not chosen to have this adventure, to jump of that cliff! And if I still lived my life in England, I would be going to a job I hated today, I would have my heating on even if it was not cold, I would be caught up on the Hamster wheel and probably be stopping at a shop to buy something that I didn’t need on the way home to make myself feel better. I would go home to my beautiful house (surrounded by houses and people) and I would get stressed on the drive home. I would not try to write my book because, although not happy with my life, I would tell myself I was content because I was warm, and had regular income, and forget that I was not free to be me.
Instead I have time to look things up, do research, do my writing, look out at my window at this….
I have my big socks and slippers on and I don’t have the fire alight yet because instead I am wearing my fleece. I don’t have secure income but I do have security in my belief that if I let it go what I need will come my way, and it has not been wrong yet. We only have two months of the winter left and we have survived so far without putting up with crap from people that we should be putting up with crap from. Yes I have mould on my walls, which I wash off!! It doesn’t kill me, but my old life was!
And now I am in a position where my book is written, I know that I have to believe because changing my life and going on this adventure has proved to me that if you believe you CAN make it work. No, it won’t be the same as it was in my old life, but I don’t want it to be; otherwise what would be the point of an adventure?!!
Hope that this year holds good things for you all too, but they may not be what you think they are going to be…..
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Animal lover, Animals, Dogs, Dogs crying in pain, Dogs noses, Happiness, Harley, Important things, LIfe, Love of dogs, Reflections, Simple things, Spin Doctor, Welsh Terrier, Welshie, What is important in life
Being a firm believer that life show’s us the way, and that when we don’t listen life pours it over our head in buckets to make us see what we need to see, that has done that to us over the last three weeks.
As you know from previous posts things had been hard, we worried about money, work, bills all the things that you can overcome, that are not insurmountable but at times you let that little spin doctor in your head think they are!!; So we worried just the same and did not remember life’s lessons, that it will all come good in the end if you believe it and, do you know what, it can be worse, get a perspective!!
Therefore, because we did not listen, just after my last post on the 19th of November Harley our beautiful Welsh Terrier became ill. He became so ill that he was, quite literally, screaming in pain one minute and running around the garden the next. But as the days drew on the running around the garden became less and he just lay in his bed. Then one day he went out in the garden and just started to scream in pain. We had no money, and did not know what to do; but we did have a guardian angel who helped us and loves Harley theytold us to “just take him to the vet and do what needs to be done.”
We saw our vet in Ambrieres, who are really mainly agricultural vets, but they were lovely, gave him a thorough examination and found a bite where the skin had become necrotic and at this point he was not crying in pain at all. In fact he just wanted to get the hell out of there. So we were sent away with anti-inflammatory drugs and had to keep our eye on him. At this point our tinky tiny Tilly cat also went missing; so for four days we had a poorly dog and a missing cat and believe me we did not think about money once!! To say we were stressed to the max and crying in the kitchen without the other knowing was probably an understatement!
Our animals are our furry family,we love them all dearly and now our family was starting to fall apart.
On the Saturday Tilly came home and we rejoiced and thought good things are coming; but Harley got worse; and in the end I was putting a hot compress on his neck where the pain seemed to be. I had also looked up on the internet what the possibilities could be and knew it was likely that it was a ruptured disc or meningitis.
On the Monday we were back at the vets because our boy was in a lot of pain now and his neck was solid and hard. The vet again gave a thorough examination and called another vet to arrange an x ray; at that point, and being able to speak some French, I knew that they were discussing a ‘mass’ and were suggesting that they should refer him to what can only be described as a French supervet over an hours drive away. Being the type of girl who needs to know because if I don’t know I cannot deal with it, I looked at the vet and asked do you think it is cancer? He nodded and said it may be. And so it all came flooding back to me, the memories of when I was faced with losing someone I loved, and the reminder that NOW I was faced with something that was not insurmountable and something that I had no control over and that all the worrying over the last few weeks had been just a complete waste of time.
The vet gave Harley a massive dose of painkiller and I took him out whilst Rich paid the very small bill and got the details of the animal hospital. I did not care that I looked like a mad woman as I walked around the town with this beautiful little dog with his tail up, not looking as if there was a thing wrong with him, bawling my eyes out; praying that he would be okay.
We bought him home in a state of shock, Harley is only six years old. We prayed that it was not cancer but the alternatives were equally as scary and that night I lay on the floor with tears falling onto the mat as I told him how much I loved him. We did not want to go to bed, did not want the next day to come because it may mean that we would not have Harley any more. But it is one of the things in life you have to do, face the inevitable, and keep moving forward.
That night as Rich and I lay in bed I just continuously said a mantra “please let Harley get better, I have so much more love to give him.” I just did not stop saying it over and over again.
The next day in the dark of a very cold and damp morning, we left at 7.15am with Harley wrapped in a blanket on my lap and the Wiglet in the back of the Smart car; because she was getting stressed now given her history. I continued with my mantra all the way to Alencon.
When we arrived at this fantastic animal hospital it was a place to behold. The reception was huge and as we waited Wiglet entertained us as she barked at every dog that came in, set them all off barking, tried to get to the cats and got stopped in her tracks by an Airedale – seriously her mouth fell open when this huuuuuuuge dog that looked just like her walked through the door, and if she could have spoken she would have said “What the Fuck!!!” Despite our fear that Little Miss made us all laugh.
When the time came for Harley’s examination the Vet found his problem straight away, and Harley was truly screaming in pain. He had ruptured a disc in his spine near to his skull and needed an MRI and emergency operation to prevent paralysis or death. My poor big husband sobbed after having to hold him while they administered the unaesthetic for the MRI. After speaking to the vet we knew the best thing would be to leave him there but we were both relieved and terrified as we said our goodbyes to him, be was so vulnerable, like Bambi with his front legs buckling because of the amount of drugs he was on. The vet explained that despite all the drugs he was still in an incredible amount of pain and we had no choice, surgery was the only option with a ten per cent risk of death or paralysis.
The next day was so hard and boy did we hit the wine when at 6pm we finally found out the operation had been a success and we could pick him up the next day. I spent over two hours calling and messaging all of the people that were so worried about him.
He is now home with mummy,daddy and Wiglet, has just had his morphine patch removed and is now a frustrated Welshie who wants to chase the cats and doesn’t want to be an invalid any more. Mummy is providing drugs and physio and daddy is carrying him up and down the stairs, much to his disgust.
I always say that I try to live each day and enjoy each day, and that my dogs remind me of this because their lives are so short. Yet I think I had started to forget this and this was a wake up call for us both.
Now people tell us we have been unlucky with what has happened to us since moving here, but have we? I don’t focus on the negatives because here are the good:
We have a love for each other that some people search for all their lives, and for that we are blessed.
We have friends who will help us in our hour of need without question, because our dog would not be here today if it were not for them.
We have the love of good friends, our mini bus has come around and these people have got back on at a time when they need support also.
We have our beautiful animals and never least our beautiful Harley survived.
We are surrounded by beauty all around us.
Money cannot buy any of that.
We are not worrying about money or work any more, it will come good; and our little fledgling business is starting to expand, and work has come our way. Life has given us a slap around the head and told us to buck up because life can ALWAYS get worse!!!
But if you let it, it can get better too. Life taught us to remember what is important.
I love all my animals but there is nothing like a dog’s love, and boy have I been reminded of that over the last few weeks.
I am back now, sorry for my absence, I know you will understand….
Firstly I want to thank each and every person who took the time to comment on my last post, both directly to my blog, and on Facebook. The positive comments that I received were overwhelming and your positivity then generated a sale of an item on my Etsy shop – I truly believe that.
But it did not stop there, yesterday a lady posted an adapted poem onto a Facebook site over here called ‘living and renovating in France’ and it was truly brilliant; so much so that it made me cry because it highlighted how hard it can be; and right now Rich and I are finding it hard. Our work has all but completely dried up and we are looking at a winter where we do not know where income will come from. As most of you know I believe in the Tao and that if you keep your mind open things will come your way; but right now, after working so hard all summer we are again faced with the prospect of little or no income; and we are, now, seriously considering the way forward if we are to remain here.
But one of the things we do know is that however much we need money we are no longer prepared to sell our souls. We have realised our worth (finally) and are not prepared to put up with an ounce of crap any longer!
So when I read this ladies poem here is an excerpt
“If you can get the tiles upon the concrete floor,
And spend your hours, playing round with grout,
Or face the fact the bank account looks poor,
And never grudge the will to do without.
If you can stand knee deep in all the brambles,
And tame the weeds and learn to use a strimmer,
Your life might sometimes seem to be in shambles,
But you love the sunsets when the light gets dimmer.
Then you can truly look back on your trouble,
And share your sense of humour while you rest,
The pleasure that you gain is truly double,
And you will know that you have done your best.”
Rachelle Writer – the living and renovating in France FB page
It reminded me that we are not alone, that we have to keep fighting to survive and that we should never give up. But more than that, I said how it had made me cry, in a good way, the response was, again, overwhelming with one person telling me how this blog helps them to carry on at times.
So I am being honest, and I know that some will disapprove, but do you know what? I don’t care! I always said I would be honest on here and I will continue to be so.
The situation we have found ourselves in has made us consider whether being self employed over here is the way to go. With the nastiness and cattiness of some (and I hasten to add ‘some’) of the people over here, and with most of the work being ‘seasonal we have now questioned out choices and are considering some changes and options for next year.
But this poem touched me with the lines……..
“But you love the sunsets when the light gets dimmer.
Then you can truly look back on your trouble,
And share your sense of humour while you rest,
The pleasure that you gain is truly double,”
It reminded me why I moved out here, for the tranquility, for the simpler life, to be surrounded but the most breathtaking countryside, and to continue to strive and not just ‘wait for God.’ It reminded me of all the people who have supported us all the way, including our little group on messenger who all support each other as we watch TV programmes together,although miles apart. The kindness and support I have had from people from all over the world who I have never met has re-enforced my faith in mankind; and what was the outcome of this positivity I received – I made another sale on my fledgling Etsy shop!
So whilst there may be, sadly, some vicious people out here, they don’t phase me. I have always had the ability to tell people to f**k off! Sometimes in more cutting ways than that.
So thank you one and all – keep the positivity coming; that way we can shut the ‘Dementors’ in the world up – those who just want to suck the life out of people – (thanks for that character J K Rowling!)
As for the chilli sauce recipe – it is coming later today just for you Carol Barrass!!
As always please share and get the word out there.
believe, Christmas stars, compliment, Delusional, dementor, handmade, life shows the way, media presence, negative, new venture, positive, publishing, Reflections, stars, with love, wonderful, wooden ornaments, Wooden star ornaments
So this week the same person (I would say bitch but I don’t want to give their sex away!!) who told me my Etsy shop was ‘crap’ told me that I was delusional and should stop writing my blog because it doesn’t make me money! Should I?
I want to write; I have been told by many that I am a good writer, that I have a way with words, that my words are ‘beautiful’; and having sent my book off to one publisher I know that I need to have a media presence, and that is what I have been working on over the past few weeks, relentlessly.
I have also been building a media presence for my shop, mainly because I need to build it and raise it’s profile, so as a result I did not do as many blogs last week as I should have done. But now I have been told that I am ‘delusional’ and ‘need to focus on what makes money’ my strong personality kicks in and I think f**k you!
So today I will be finishing my book for my ‘friend in the know’ to read in it’s entirety, and then I will be sending it off to other publishers, because do you know what? Delusional or not, I do know that if I don’t do it I will never ‘make money’ from it! But more importantly, for me, I will not help people who are finding themselves in a situation we were in ten years ago, and who just don’t know what to do. Contrary to some people I do not believe that life is ‘all about making money.’
In addition I will continue with my blog because my reader content is going up all the time, and I love that people all over the world from Canada and America to Australia and Malaysia read my blog; I adore it when people react to it, when it touches a nerve for them, when it makes them cry because they can relate. What better compliment can a writer have to have touched an emotion?
I will look into advertising on it (or perhaps I won’t) and I will write because I want to. Good old ‘Delusional me’!!
Why am I writing this? Because when you go on an adventure like this, unless you have a massive pension, or pot of savings to take with you, you have to believe that things will work out. If you don’t you are lost. This negative person, is like J.K. Rowling’s characters in Harry Potter; a Dementor, in that they suck all of the life out of you because they are not happy so they do not want anyone else to be.
If you are on an adventure take my advice, stay away from that crap because they will have you stop believing in a heartbeat. Do they read this, ‘no’ they advised me, they ‘do not read my blog,’ so how would they know or understand what it is about?
Do I feel better for saying this? Yes I do! I bit my tongue for too long, f**k i!! t I am not doing it any longer. If they read this post my message to them is that you said it, if you are offended ‘Suck it up!’
This morning I got up and my best friend had sent me a message through messenger saying ‘Believe’ with this underneath
She know’s me well, I am stubborn when you push me. So here I am writing my blog, being delusional!
But really folks, especially those who want the adventure, my message to you is that you will never do it if you think about all the ‘what ifs’, and trust me all the people who too afraid to do the adventure will have you believing the ‘what ifs’ in a heartbeat to keep you in your place.
For those on the adventure with us, and I know there are many who are finding it hard for whatever reasonm the same friend sent me this later today…….
And I will.
So here are some pictures of our new venture – I have always loved interior design and rustic, and original, so we are now making wooden ornaments for the home and garden #made with love in our barn in France # a star is for life not just for Christmas.
*(Oops apologies for those I traumatised when I missed the ‘with’ out and implied we had been making love in our barn!! Have corrected now!!)*
We have our first order already, it is currently drying in my kitchen waiting for more decoration…..
If you would like to visit my shop petiteFrenchfancies I have included a link just click on the word …….petiteFrenchfancies
Then just now, as I always believe that ‘life show’s you the way’, a message popped up in messenger from an old friend in England who used to be my boss, and always believed in me, and in the message she said ‘how are you? Still fabulous I see.’ Wonderful!!
It is the small things, always better to be positive than negative (although the same person told me once that I was ‘too positive’! And as I am writing this I realise that I have to step away from that crap!!!) a positive word can do so much more, a negative word is only said to destroy something, there can be no other outcome.
I hope you have enjoyed this post, because, trust me, I enjoyed writing it! Rich’s new name for me is ‘Delusional Moisy’ !!! Let’s all be delusional together and ignore the others!!!
Another post tomorrow folks – no stopping me now – a witchy poo cook recipe as requested for my Sweet Chillie Sauce and Mexican Chicken.