As some of you know, from previous posts (a little bit more about me) I am a ‘doer’ and just kept going until in the end I had a breakdown. (Why do you talk about this? Some people say!! Because we should NOT sweep it under the carpet, I say, it needs to be brought out into the open. ) I am not ashamed of this, from it I learnt so much, not least reading the Tao and realising that when it comes to my mini bus of life, someone else is doing the driving!
Well this week I was reminded again of many things and I thought that I would share them with you on this sunny, warm, October afternoon:
Firstly I was told by my counsellor that as part of my recovery, and to understand myself, I had to write down everything I did every day in list form; and I mean EVERYTHING! I had to write down that I had put a load of washing into the machine, and then that I had pegged it out. That I had emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it, that I had put clothes away, fed the cats, took the dog for a walk, posted a letter, made the bed, paid a bill, made my husbands sandwiches for work, and on and on and on. ……
The reason for this was because I could not see what I had achieved. I did all of these things and would then think “right I need to get some work done now.” Or “I have not got anything done today.” When in fact when I looked at the lists that I made I had got shit-loads done!! But because I had always just kept going I no longer saw the every day things as work, or as achievements, so I loaded myself with more and more to do. (Sound familiar?!)
In fact when I first went to the Counselor she asked me what I was going to do to relax and I said paint the back of my house!!!
What made me think of this now? Well over the past few weeks I have been setting up my Etsy shop petiteFrenchfancies; and encouraged by incredible media savvy friend this has also involved linking it all together, as a brand. This blog, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pin interest. It has involved sharing pictures of my house (people tell me that they love it and my style -but more of that in a minute.) and hours of research for the items I am selling as well as adding them to my shop. It has meant relentless promotion of myself, which I have always found alien to me (more of that in a minute) and it has all taken a lot of time. But what did I think? I haven’t got anything done!!!
You see when I sit a computer, or on my iPad (other tablets are available!) researching I think I am sitting on my arse not doing anything!! I have to stop that, and remember what my counsellor told me. Because now I have a paint shop following me on Instagram as well as some companies and I have made my first sale with a reservation as well. Not bad when you think I have only been really promoting it over the past month!!
So my message to you – write the list of everything you do in a day, from pegging the washing out, to watering the plants, and you will be shocked. Stop beating yourself up!
Secondly I have always believed that if you want something you have to focus on it and just keep working until you get it. But do you? If you are so focused on one thing how many other things are you missing that are being thrown at your head by life?! Where does your driver take you and what things does he show you, but you just ignore them because you are so focused on just achieving that one thing?
What made me think of that? I have been writing a book for some time, but clearly that is not ‘earning’ me any money. But if I don’t write it (and I have nearly finished it and sent it off to a publisher for review in the last month) and just focus on doing work that is earning me money, then it will never be published and I will never earn money from it and will just have to keep doing what I am doing because I need money!! Get it? If you just keep doing what you are doing you are always going to get what you have got!
So my mini bus driver decided that he would take me down the road of Osteoarthritis and I now have it in both my thumbs. This means that I cannot keep doing what I have been doing because my hands won’t let me. So I have continued with my Etsy shop, worked had adding photos and stories and promoting it and I have had my first sale. Do you think someone is trying to tell me something? I could have thought ‘no I need to do work that will provide money now, not in the future’, but then I would be stuck in the loop, so life took it out of my hands (literally!) and proved to me (again) that we do not always have to go on a straight road.
Thirdly, everyone who knows me will tell you that I am extremely confident person; and I am in some ways. But although people have always loved my houses, (even last week my lovely husband looked at me as I dusted and rearranged out things and said “I love how you make a house a home.”) and I have been told many times that I should go into interior design, because I have an eye for the eclectic, for some reason I have never had the confidence to believe those people.
I have always listened to the n’er do wells that have said ‘mmmmmmmm’. But last week an email popped into my in box quoting the late and wonder Dr Wayne. W Dyer. This email was about understanding how our mind can make things happen if we just believe; and then my wonderful friend Linda, who lives in America but follows me on Facebook, asked me what the letters in this picture spelt out…bliss
When I replied to her she gave me the most wonderful comment about how she would love to relax in this room. Someone was telling me something!
So, after I had received some criticism this week about my abilities, I decided that f**k it! I was going to believe in me and what I was able to achieve; and I went ahead and did what I thought was right.I closed my eyes and I said ‘ I believe in me.’ since then things have took off. …..
I now have over two hundred followers on my blog, and they are growing all the time from all over the world, and from my various sites; as are my followers on Instagram, and my shop has now had just under 300 views. Many friends have also shown support and encouragement (and a big shout out to Karen for that one!) My mini bus driver stopped and picked Ms Livermore up, so that she could help me believe in myself, and then others have joined in as well. Someone is definitely trying to tell me something.
And then finally today. Today I opened a message in messenger that was explaining about the negative things we say every day that impact on our subconscious and therefore how we approach life; how the words actually act like blockers and stop good things coming through. For example how many times do you say:
‘I have to……’
Do you? Do you really HAVE to? Or do you want to? That is something entirely different. If you HAVE to then is your subconscious saying that really you don’t want to?
“I have to go to the shop to get milk.” No you don’t! You can choose not to go, but then you can’t have a cup of tea with milk, but you don’t HAVE to, you want to because you want tea with milk!
I have read this to Rich and now he picks me up every time I say it – see! Because I am a doer!! And he is right I must (oops not must!) I need (oops I don’t need!) I mean it is beneficial to me to understand that I choose to do what I do, and if I choose not to do it I will probably get it done a lot quicker than if I keep telling myself that I must!
“I HATE that it gets dark earlier now.” Do you really hate it? Seriously or do you just wish that the evenings were lighter for longer?
“I would NEVER do that” I know what my book is about, and I can tell you that you can say never if you like but until you are there, you just don’t know and will probably surprise yourself!
I thought that I would share this with you all, because I know that some people will really think about what I have said, and then apply it to their lives, and I am confident that they will benefit from it. But then there will be the ones that don’t but hey ho, I tried!
So my message to you this fine afternoon is from Lao Tzu and the 57th verse of the Tao
‘Let go of fixed plans and concepts,
and the world will govern itself
How do i know this is so?
Because in this world,
the greater the restrictions and prohibitions,
the more people are impoverished………’
‘I take no action and people are reformed ….’
‘If I keep from imposing on people
they become themselves.’
Have a good week – and please share and comment, or rate this post, I really do love all feedback, it means I have touched an emotion and as an aspiring writer – that is all I need!!