So here I am at 18.30, my time ,and I started to write this blog at 14.30!! That is what it seems to be at the moment busy, busy, busy…
As you know from my previous posts, with the titles including the words changes are coming, we had water fitted last week, took the pool down, met the bank manager, and decided it was time to clear out our barn.
That is one of the things when you embark on a major life change such as this, the crap you bring with you! Heed my warnings all you adventurers, you may have thought that you had got rid of all the crap you did not needm but guess what you haven’t!
Then three years later, when you decide that perhaps you should go through those boxes of stuff that you thought were so essential you paid a fortune in storage for them, and an even bigger fortune in moving costs; the same stuff that you then leave in your barn for three years (obviously because it was that essential!) only to go through it one day and say ‘What the fuck did we bring that over to France for?!
So as we climbed over the crap, (treasured possessions as once was) we realised that we had a task on our hands.
As I have said before when we moved from England we were on first name terms with the little old ladies at the cancer charity shop (sorry I don’t give cancer a capital c anymore, it doesn’t deserve it!); so much so they all shouted ‘Rich’ when he went in with even more stuff that we gave away (like an episode of ‘Cheers’ only in Herne Bay in England!)
When we moved we thought we had been mercenary, we thought we had been hard, only to discover during this task, four boxes of our son’s stuff that we could not throw away ‘because he might need it one day.’ He needs it so much that he doesn’t even know it is here. Then there was the box with chipped plates, one random saucer that had not cup to go with it, and (I kid you not) glass jars that I used to put candles in!!
There were the broken lamp shades (it is safe to say not one surived the move), broken lamps, a plastic chair (which was weird because we have never owned plastic garden chairs), old cards ( I swore I threw them all away) old postcards, T.shirts, peices of random paper and even open envelopes!! There is no room for sentimentality when you do something like this, you have to let go of the old to make room for the new.
In addition a lot of the things we had brought over with us were reminders of people who stopped being in contact when we made this move; perhaps they decided that we were a bit too ‘out there’ for them, or that we made them feel as if they may be boring. (Yep, there is an irony there!) But let us not forget I was inadvertently told recently by someone that I was ‘full of hot air.’ At least I think it was inadvertent,other than that they were just being fucking rude!! But only if I gave a crap! (Oops there goes my hot air again! Better to be that than boring!)
So we went through everything (in one half only and it took two days) and let it all go (again)
We also discovered that other people had used our barn as a dumping ground and we had so many empty cardboard boxes (‘for Moira’s etsy’ they used to say) some with no lids and some with shit that other people had dumped in it!! Thanks one and all, and just to get it out there, I don’t want any more boxes. If I want them I will get them, I’m that sort of gal!!
But we did find our memory box, and, because we have changed we let some of that go. You cannot hold onto the past; I let my mum’s top go. I thought that I had let it go when we moved over here, I kept it at first, after she had died, because it smelled of her, it was her favourite top and she had worn it often; I had moved it with me three times, because I thought it kept my mum with me but when we made our move over here I clearly remember saying ‘I need to let this go’; but I must have decided that, at a time I needed moral support, then I needed to bring it with me one more time. My mum died twenty one years ago, that top is not her, her spirit is free, not in a top from Marks and Spencers! So I have, now, let it go.
We did keep George, the wooden snake that Tom picked on our first holiday together as a family to Menorca; and Srog, his frog that I bought him from London Zoo, and there was some stuff we put back and said ‘Perhaps next time we go through this we will let this go then..’ We know that we are changing all the time you see.
There is stuff that needs to be researched, as I believe it has a value now, and it would be good to pass that money onto Tom, because most of the things are his after all, like is train set, and his action men still in their packaging.
I am going to sell Tom’s beautiful cherrywood cot/bed (yes can you believe I moved his cot over here, because my mum bought it for me); but I am letting it go. I have learnt so much over the past three years, and one of them is that material things are not necessary to keep the memories. That is such a beautiful cot that I would rather a family who needed it, had it to cherish.
On Saturday we loaded up our new van and took half of the stuff to the dechetterie (the dump) with the other half to go on Wednesday. Most of the cardboard boxes are going on the bonfire (quick all those who say you shouldn’t have fires calle the Marie!) and our barn is tidy with boxes in there (also waiting to be burnt) and we now have less than half of what was there and a tidy organised room.
Now all Rich has to do is sort out this lot on the other side!!
You might have guessed, still lots of work to be done.
But most importantly my post is to say, let go, let go, let go, life is too short, let go of the crap and good will come your way.
I can really relate to all of this. My wife and I moved across the country from Oregon to Florida four years ago. We decided early on to get rid of nearly everything except important mementos and books, probably only 1/4 of our clothes, and small kitchen appliances and accoutrements my wife couldn’t live without. All furniture was sold or donated. I’m glad we did that, though now that we’re settled I feel we’re just re-creating the whole accumulation thing again. 🙂 – Marty
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Yep Marty, I think we all do it, we just have to reign ourselves in. Like that’s easy!
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