There is nothing like the possibility of death to bring us up sharp and make us realise that the only moment we have is now.
When faced with the imminent possibility of death we don’t care about material things, work, shopping, food, bills, other people to some degree. I remember this feeling well when my mum was dying.
Our blessing continues and Wiglet is still with us, still playing ball, still wagging her tail. The old habits have come back and she is now chasing the cats again, looking out of the window for passers by, growling at Harley (who won’t eat unless he has the familiar sound of her growling) and to my joy she has started to bounce again, all the time. Love really is a wonderful, amazing thing.
But it’s been hard. Our good old minds take us forward, start to whisper of the future, stop us enjoying the present moment because of the fear of what the future holds. As I was driving home this week and my lip started to quiver I asked myself what I was crying for. Two Welshies were going to rock up to the gate to greet me, and yet I was crying for the time that would stop. Why? I was so busy crying for the future I was missing the gift I had been given here, and now.
So I stopped. I understand that I am grieving the life I had two weeks ago, and for that I am allowed to grieve, but not to the extent that I miss out on the time and adventures I could have now.
So we will be having some adventures. The Adventures Of Harley and Wiglet the Welshies. We are making memories like this one now, with the rain sheeting down as I write this, with my Welsh Terriers snuggled around me.
Don’t look to the future, it doesn’t exist.