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Tag Archives: understanding

As I sit here…..

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here this morning, with my first cup of tea of the day (I am English after all!) I have found the urge to write.

The picture above is my garden at this present moment that I am writing this. The view from the valley as you can see is totally obscured because there is a thick fog and autumn has finally rolled in. A complete contrast to just weeks ago..

For the first time this season we have condensation on our windows, and single figure temperatures outside, but our house is warm. The roof on our kitchen has finally been replaced (more of that to come in another post) and add to the mix our new front door and the difference it has made is immeasurable. I smiled to myself today when I looked at our doors, and there was no condensation on them.

Sadly they are nowhere near as pretty as our old door, but it had to go, it was beyond repair (and trust me I tried) the oak had split from the hundred years of driving rain and wind it had endured so it could not be saved. We have re-used it (as you would know we love a bit of old and vintage, and will repurpose where we can, you only have to look at our Etsy shop) as a feature in our garden, it now plays the part of a secret door into a fairy kingdom.

I know we’re mad! But helps in life sometimes!

I love the autumn, One of the biggest things for me about living here is the changing of the seasons. I’ve said it before and I will probably say it again; it is a constant reminder that things change, and that although they will come back again they will never be the same as the one before. Nothing in life ever is. For me the autumn is the most poignant because all the things are dying off, it is the end of something that you will never get back, and it is a reminder to treasure every moment.

As some of you may know I am sharing a story from long ago about Rich and I, it has taken off. It is a sad story, but remembering where we are now, it is a story of hope. It too is a story of something dying and then coming back again, but in a different way, it was never going to be what it was before. Perhaps it is apt that I decided to share it in the autumn!

For those who have read my blog over the years you will know it made us stronger, and gave us the courage to take this adventure; and despite the hardships we have had along the way they have never broken us, almost sometimes, but we have always got through.

We have learnt that money really does not buy you happiness, and material things may give you comfort but they don’t make you happy. Because despite having no water, no roof, a leaking cesspit, dodgy cars at one point, and at times been down to the last six euros to our name, things have always come through, because we are happy in our minds. We have the ability to laugh, sometimes at each other, every day. We lost our egos.

So yesterday we read a passage from the Tao and the explanation asked a question, to think about what you thought made you happy and then ask yourself if that were true. It was designed to help people realise that the material things they bought did not really make them happy. So Rich and I both thought about it independently and both came up with the same answer, independently: it was to sit in our garden and look out across the valley.

We love our life, we love the simplicity and we both agreed that even if we had enough money to not have to worry about spending it, we still wouldn’t go out for meals, our greatest pleasure would be to sit in our garden and look at the view, with each other. (And all the furries of course!)

We are blessed.

Have a food day folks, enjoy the small things.

Moisy

If you want to learn more about us you may want to check out:

Makingthisbetter.com my new blog

PetiteFrenchfancies @etsy is my shop full of eclectic (of course) things.

You can also find me on Instagram as moisfrenchadventure, and Pinterest as moisfrenchadventure.com

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Change is coming, the things we’ve learnt – The Roof

25 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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“An integral being knows without going, see withoug looking, and accomplishes without doing.” 

Lao Tzu

In my previous post I told you how our roof is now being replaced, but for those who like to think differently there is more of a story here – it is how Rich and I have learnt to accept things as they are, and now things are coming together.

This has been our kitchen roof for the last two and a half years.

I wrote in a previous blog about Allianz the insurance company with whom we had our house insured, and how when storm Katy blew through in the March 2016, she ripped some holes in our roof and the insurance company refused to pay out because ‘we had not maintained it!’ Considering we had only lived here seven months that was difficult!

We had run out of money at that time and had no means to repair it. We listened to others and bought some tiles when we had some money left from our intermittent income believing that we would eventually accumulate enought to repair the roof, but we never did; we tried to drive circumstance and made our lives even more difficult because we were spending money we could not afford on something that was going to do nothing. As if to prove the point in the September a tornado ripped through the garden, literally! It took half the silver birch with it, and our gazebo, it carried Harley’s paddling pool off into the chemin

…but more than anything it took half the roof!

So for two years we lived with a tarpaulin. Two tarpaulins over each other in fact, after the cat ripped one!

At first Rich and I could not see how we could carry on living here, or carry on with this adventure. Other’s asked whether life was indeed trying to ‘show us the way’ and if we should give up. But at this point I had started to read the Tao, and I did not want to go home. People asked how we could live like it, but, as someone said to me “It wouldn’t be an adventure if there weren’t bumps in the road!”

So we did the only thing we could do, we carried on and believed that good things would come our way one day.

At first Rich got really stressed. worried about the timber rotting – as someone helpfully told him it would – questioned how we were living like this, but I never stopped believing; and I would read the Tao to him and eventually he ‘got it’. So whilst over the years we’ve had bowls all over the kitchen at times, and learnt how to stop water splashing everywhere, we also learnt to accept that it had not killed us, had not killed our dream and we were still here. The worry about how we would survive left us because we knew that to worry about something that you cannot change is just a waste of energy that will just bring negative shit your way; and most important of all we learned to laugh about it.

As time went by I started to read Deepak chopra and as he says:

‘You accept things as they are, not as you wish they were in this moment. This is important to understand. You can wish for things in the future to be different but in ‘this’ moment you have to accept things as they are.” 

(The Seven psiritual Laws of Success – The Law of Least Effort)

This situation has reminded me of my old life when I lived in England; then we would have stressed to the max about getting the roof fixed, got into debt, panicked, listened to others who would have said we had to get it done. We would have believed that we could not survive without it, and we would have worried about what other’s thought. Here in rural France everyone lives simply, and I find that people understand and accept when people cannot afford things and they do not judge – not our neighbours anyway. But most importantly Rich and I have learnt not to care what other’s think, to let go of our egos and just be us. I say it often, as my darling late mum used to say “All the time they are judging you they are leaving someone else alone.” A brilliant way to look at things.

So here we are over two years later and our roof is being replaced. I know that this is at the right moment of time that his has happened and I know that we had to be without that roof to show us that we did not need what we thought we did; that nothing other than ill health and death is insurmountable and that something would come along in the end and enable us to replace our roof – and come along it did. But most importantly this lesson showed Rich and I that you do not need everything that you think you do – No, not even a roof!!

Let go,  don’t force things and see what happens.

Trust – Always

Moisy

“Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the filed of all possibilities. ”

Deepak Chopra (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.)

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Older and wiser (I hope!)

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Reflections, The continuing adventure

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Mayenne

The Mayenne River at twilight

So it is official I have now completed my 55th year on this earth; and because I know I am such a different person  I thought that I would take some time to look back on the last year and share with you the things that have caused me to change, and make my life so much better in so many ways.

The first decision I made was way back in January, it was to stop looking at the group social media pages for this immediate surrounding area! I found them so negative, nasty, viscous and controlling and I just decided that I didn’t need that shit in my life anymore.

Now I was going to say more but have decided that this topic probably needs a post all on it’s own so look out for that one; all I will say is that my life was infinitely better after I stopped engaging or looking at them.

I really started to understand the Tao, and now follow my life pretty much in that way – although I do have to constantly remind myself every day to not get caught up in unnecessary crap. Due to this I have been accused  of becoming a religious nut! Of having ‘found God’ when really, for me, the Tao is a philosophy not a religion: a theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for behaviour. That is what it has done for me it has helped me to follow principles for my behaviour and also where others are concerned it has enabled me to make choices about whether I want their behaviour in my life, or whether I am going to let it affect my life.

In fact folks if you read the Tao I would ask everyone what is God? For me it is just a label that can be used to define something, nothing more, nothing less.

Now, I don’t do negative in all aspects of my life – and when I find myself in the company of negative people I feel like I am  in the company Dementors (to borrow from the wonderful J.K Rowling)  sucking the life out of me.

negativity quote

You must have been there, with someone who just moans and moans and everything that comes out of their mouth is negative; and eventually it is like having  your soul sucked out of you, you come away feeling so down and questioning everything you do and everything in life. This lesson really came to the fore for me in the summer when my darling husband really let a negative person get to him, he was in their company for some time and eventually he really did feel like hanging himself from a tree!! (I kid you not read my post a birthday wobble.)

negativity walk away

So after this I started to notice the negative people who were around us, people who only wanted to criticise, and when you actually listened to them not a good thing came out of their mouth – or sometimes it would when they realised that they had overstepped the mark. Too late for me I’m afraid. I step away now.

Negitity quote laugh at it

I mean lets us not forget, as I blogged earlier in the year,  I was actually told I was too positive!!! WTF!!!

So I distanced myself from the negative people and boy am I happier and in a better place now – good things are coming my way.

 

Tao quote on confrontation

 

As some of you may know (from my post a little bit more about me) I don’t do confrontation either. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t give people crap and I don’t put up with crap from them; the difference now is that I don’t get angry, I stay cool, calm and collected but I still say ‘no’ if I need to.

It has been interesting for me this year where this is concerned, because I have encountered people who knew what had happened to me, knew that I have the Incredible Hulk inside me, and it was as if they wanted to press my buttons to bring it out. They seemed to assume that because I did not lose my temper I was weak and a pushover.

tao and confrontation

Those who know me well, and probably some of you that read this blog, will giggle at that thought because it is so untrue. In addition they would not want the Incredible Hulk inside me to come out because then they would be hurt, and I would be tired for weeks, feel awful and may possibly have been arrested!

Luckily I am now able to step away, or calmly ask questions for clarification -which they don’t want to give because they would have to acknowledge they were arseholes – and that tends to sort the situation out.

negative people being insecure

 

I have learnt over the year not to ask others for explanations and not to offer  explanations to others. I don’t expect explanations and when people expect them of me I now ask them why? Ego perhaps!!

The reason for this is because when people expect and explanation from you is this because they seem to think that you should care what they think?

There are some people that I know and love and  I do care what they think. But those people never seem to ask me for explanations. By giving explanations you are allowing others to live your life for you, and that is, quite simply, not my thing honey! If you are not on my mini-bus of life then I offer no explanations.  (For those new to my blog you may want to read the post – so who is on your mini-bus of life.)

So I don’t care what most people think and that has worked out brilliantly for me as a writer because if I did I would write absolutely nothing!! As one of my beloved readers from this blog told me ‘It’s all copy!!’

That brings me to one of the other big things I learnt and that is to  write what I want. My book – people will be shocked I have shared!! My blog who wants to read about where I went in France all the time! It seems to have worked my followers are now near 300 and rising every day with well over fifty hits a day. Thank you and welcome keep the ball rolling.

I have learnt who the important people are in my life, and what is important to me where people are concerned. I have also learnt to look at myself and how I react to others, and to let the past go and deal with the relationship now. Everyone is different and I just go with the flow – unless you are insecure or negative, sorry but they are a no no for me I find that insecure people tend to bring others down and I don’t need that. I wish them well, hope that they find their way and if they do and they want to reconnect always happy to.

 

And one of the most important things: My mini bus has driven along the road and picked back up some good friends that I had lost contact with along the way in life- We have all learnt things during the time we have been absent from each others lives and we have come to realise that there are some people who you cannot let go of , because when they come back into your life they are on the same page as you – they just took a different route to get there; and I have found we are all infinitely wiser for the journeys we have had.

Not least in that is my son, who has found his way in life and is flying high because by taking this adventure we pushed him off the cliff and trusted that he would be caught; just like we have. You have to believe, trust me.

Belief image

So here is to the next year of my life, I feel already that it is going to be a good one – ever positive me!!!

If you like my blog please share folks I am loving the new people joining from all over the world.

Quote ona adventures and good energy

Moisy

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Visit my Etsy shop: petiteFrenchfancies

 

 

A special Christmas….

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by in Friends, People, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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This year is going to be a very very special Christmas for me; our dear friend Karen is coming to stay with her Welshie puppy (three Welsh Terriers, five cats and seven chickens, mayhem will commence!!) But more than that she is bringing my son Tom with her.

Twenty eight years ago I was in labour ( I know terrible timing!) and Tom eventually came into the world the early hours of Christmas Eve. A bouncing 9lb 3oz baby boy.

After that I spent every Christmas with him, despite my later divorce, Tom always spent Christmas with me (or at least part of it when girlfriends came on the scene.) But since moving here I have not seen Tom, in fact it was three years ago when we celebrated our last Christmas in England that I last saw him.

So today, as I know they have boarded the train, I find my eyes filling with tears because I am going to see my son, and I cannot wait. I don’t need any other present, he should just get out of the car with a big bow around him.

For those who have followed my blog for some time you will know that whilst I love Christmas I also believe that it is also a time of excess and at times crassness. It is as if people are drugged by the hype and hysteria fed to them and have lost site of what Christmas is meant to be about: a time for reflection, kindness and consideration.

I have come to realise, since living a frugal adventure and reading the Tao, that money and things do not buy you happiness, love and the actions of others do. So my Christmas is going to be all about being with people we love, Rich and I have not bought each other presents – we had our hair cut instead – and we will tie bows around our heads on Christmas morning and then untie them and shout surprise!!

We do have handmade gifts, and some of my Etsy shop cherished finds to give as gifts but more than anything the gifts to each other will be good food, for me cooking for others, chicken Kiev tonight, tandoori chicken tomorrow (as requested by Tom), playing on the Wii, watching the television, playing board games, going for walks with all the puppies in the beautiful countryside that surrounds us, drinking and dancing, talking to each other; and looking at Harley and all the others and counting our blessings.

Happy Christmas everyone; please say a prayer for those who are alone at Christmas, and those whose lives are difficult at this time (sadly illness and death still happen at Christmas time) and understand that, sometimes, not everyone is happy at this time.

Have a mellow, reflective Christmas one and all – look around and count your blessings, trust me they will not be material things.

Moisy xx