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Tag Archives: understanding

A reminder:

08 Monday Apr 2019

Posted by in Friends, People, Reflections

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I do truly believe that life shows you the way. I know that some people will roll their eyes, but have you ever considered that for all the planning you do, for all the organising and lists and preparation for the future does it work out as you planned? Ever?

So with this in mind I want to write about my dear friend Rod Clarricoats. In January when I wrote my blog I said how a dear friend had been immediately there for me. ( read here ) I said how this person was an old friend the type that is just there in the background. I had not spoken directly to Rod for over thirty years, but he found me on FB many years ago and when I needed him, without prompting, he messaged me at a dark time. That was Rod: always there for you when you needed him, always kind.

I have said in  my post how he made me think about where I was and how lucky I was, and when I told him he was always a kind bugger he responded by saying that he was a now ‘a kind old bugger.’ He was the same age as me: fifty six.

We messaged each other a  few more times in February and he asked about the campsite I was thinking of setting up: and told me that he would be in France this summer and if he could he would come to visit.

Yesterday I found out through FaceBook that Rod died on Friday morning. I am ashamed to say that I had not seen his post on Facebook: a meme about not letting cancer win. From what his family have written Rod acquired an infection and died quickly. I was so shocked.

He had never told me that he was ill, he had still simply been there for me all these years later and now he was gone.

Years ago when we were at college together, and going to Soul Weekenders in Essex in England, Rod was one of my bestest friends: when my heart was broken he would pick me up and take me out; and even when I moved to Wolverhampton with my future husband (not the one I have now) he would visit my mum; sometimes being a bugger and taking a different girl each time! Over time we lost touch, our lives took different paths and Rod moved to Wales with his family. From his posts on Facebook he was a happy man, blessed with a loving family.

We met at college: we were never an item but I know that one of the things he loved about me was my strength of character. It was the beginning of the eightees so there we would be in our two tone jeans. I can remember arriving at college one day as the older year had finished their exams and leaving and there was Rod: with all his friends in the thick of it throwing flour, and shaving foam. As it progressed they bought eggs and cornered my dear friend Aud and I in the ‘girls’ loos and decided to ‘make us into a cake!’ Don’t get me wrong we had given as good as we got! I also remember my broken heart and Rod taking me and Aud to the pub on a Sunday night; and telling the said perpetrator of my broken heart to ‘sod off’ because he wouldn’t leave me alone. That was Rod!

So I am writing this post because Rod has reminded me (as he did in January) that you have to make the most of life; because you never know what it has planned for you.  I have many jobs to do around the house but I need to write and get my book out there. I feel that urgent need now because life really is too short.  With life showing me the way from the messages and contacts about what I have written it is important to help others in times of difficulty. I will dedicate my book to Rod.

I have cried for a man that I hadn’t seen in thirty years, and I am crying now, because I realise that I have lost one of the good people who have been in my life. If he were here he would tell me to shut up and get on with it, whilst giving me cuddle at the same time.

So Rod: you’ve inspired me to get this done. Thank you my friend.

Au revoir (because I know we will meet again one day.)

Moisy

freindship for Rod

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That Friday Night Feeling

24 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Food in France, Making our own way, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I wrote in my introduction to this blog, many moons ago, that I wanted to inspire other people to take that adventure: to make that leap. I commented on one of my early posts about how I did not want to just ‘sit and wait for God’. That is still true, and as part of the process we have been going through I came to realise this week that I miss  structure in my life. You know: the thing that gives you that ‘Friday Night Feeling’: that feeling that you get after a hard week at work and you come home on that Friday night, knowing that now the next few days are your own. You can change your routine, get up later, have a beer (or a glass of wine) have something special to eat (ours was always a Friday night dirty kebab) you can just breathe.

So if you are thinking of freedom from the boring and mundane; freedom from the ‘hamster wheele of life’, freedom to do what you want when you want to: to have long endless days stretching out in front of you: careful what you wish for.

I have come to realise as part of this adventure that because I am a ‘doer’ I always need to be ‘doing’. I always need to do a good job, I need to do the best I can, I need to do. As I have said I was still ill when I came out here (from doing too much!) but one of the lessons I have learnt from this is that I still have to do something.

I also know that there has to be a balance: my old job was a job that chewed me up and spat me out: I worked so hard that it consumed me; so it is about finding that balance; and if we can continue to live without rent or a mortage perhaps part-time work will be the way forward for me, or my book…… or writing my new book!

I came to realise this because Rich has been at work all week: not coming in until after seven each night and it has given us structure. It has also inspired me to put some structure into my life so that, whilst still living here, I  too can find a sense of fulfillment and have that ‘Friday Night Feeling.’

I had it this week, not least because Rich would be with me for the weekend; but because I have worked hard also: I have moved logs across the garden ready to split, I have split all the logs we cut last weekend; I have promoted our Etsy shop, I have polished and cleaned out the living room to within an inch of it’s life; but more than anything I have worked on my book, including promotion, for over twenty five hours. I know that whilst I am here  I have to complete my book and get it published. Who knows that may change my direction again!

I believe in my book, I know that it helps others because they tell me so. This week my serialisation of it on my other blog  hit over thirty thousand views in total since I started writing it less than six months ago: with over seven hundred in one day this week alone. There has been a furore on social media and I am now committed to getting this done. I want to do it, I believe in it.

Serialisation of book

So back to our Friday Night Feeling: Rich came home, with his money in his wallet, pleased to finally be earning again. We opened a bottle fo wine and relaxed and I rustled up one of my kebabs that I have learnt to cook since living over here. We found something to watch on the TV and sat down (late because it was Friday night after all!) with our kebab on our laps. Wonderful!

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Then Bam!!! Out went the lights, off went the telly, and we were in total darkness. A good old power cut! Picture the scene: we were not to be deterred so we got out some old headlamp torches (you wear them on your head) and sat eating out kebab by torchlight! Not the best but it could have been worse: It could have happened when I was cooking it! We have just had a new meter fitted and worried that it could be faulty until we looked out of the window and realised that there was not a light to be seen across Ambrieres. Our good old neighbour and friend, Marc, resolved it for the community but we were without it until mid-day on Saturday.

I am now writing on a Sunday, because I want to share with you all, who are going back to work tomorrow: if you didn’t have that work where would you get the structure from in your life? Because trust me it is hard to implement it yourself.

Have a good Sunday folks and be grateful for what you have got.

Moisy

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Here & Now

17 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I deliberately adapted this photo, of one of the wonderful sunrises and sunsets that we are privelidged to see living here for a reason.

As you know over the past few months we have wondered whether this is still the right adventure for us; I have fully got back to being me; and this has led us to a better place than we have been for a while. But….

I have loved living here, I needed to recharge my batteries and they are now fully recharged but now I don’t honestly know if this is still the right path for me. I said when I moved here that I wanted an adventure, I didn’t want to just ‘wait for God’; so we did this. But now I am wondering that is this? Is not just waiting for God in a different place? Ambrieres is beautiful, the neighbouring towns and villages are beautiful but I have seen them and for me, now, they are not enough. They don’t have enough in them (nothing in fact but that is for another blog) to inspire; add to that my need (yes need!) to work and have purpose and I will not get that here.

I believe that life shows you the way; anyone who reads this blog knows that. Over the past few months as we have deliberated our way forward I have said how living in the deep and rural countryside is very hard work: you have to clean your house every day, it is never ending. I came out here with the wonderful ideal of open shelves inmy kitchen  – not in the rural countryside unless you want to wash everything every day! The garden is stunning but extremely hard work, and as I have turned 56 I have started to ask myself whether we can continue to do this for the long term and the answer is no.

As I was thinking this we visited a client who said exactly the same: they sold up their sprawling old stone house and bought a new house with a smaller garden which was manageable because their life was not their own whilst they were trying to keep on top of everything. I found it to be an omen because I had a similar conversation with Rich as we were driving there!

A few days later on the way to another clients house I said to Rich how I Ioved the countryside but that I had seen it; been here 4 years, loved it but now I needed something more. When we arrived at the clients house I commented on the pretty view and she replied that it was lovely but you can only see so much of it; and  because she was so rural there is nothing to do. Again – just as I had said to Rich on the way there.

Now other things have reared their ugly heads, and made me re-evaluate life as they should and they have reminded me how you should treasure every day; never take anything for granted; and that life really is too short.

It has all got me thinking: is an adventure really about moving forward all the time?

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I know that you cannot stand still and keep everything the same no matter how hard you try. You can shut all the windows and all of the doors and try and keep the world out but life will still take you where you are destined to go and things will still change no matter how you resist: you will grow older, and less able to do what you could do; your children will grow up and move on; people will move away; things cannot stand still.

So is the adventure about not staying in the same place; about doing what you have to do at that moment in time for your life and then accepting that at some point that will change? We moved here because we loved France, we were both burnt out (I was) from our chosen careers, we didn’t want to feel hemmed in any more. But now this beautiful house and our surroundings have replenished me; I no longer feel burnt out, I don’t feel hemmed in; but as a result of that I have changed again and now this may not be enough; and I feel ready to go back to something with more life than where I am. Not full on but somewhere in the middle.

When we chose our house we were moving from a beautiful house with a very small garden,and no outbuildings. So we bought a house with an acre of land and outbuildings, and all the work that entailed. We have enjoyed the time here but is this now what we really want?

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Is life about accepting the changes that happen, and realising that it is time to move forward again?

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So that brings me to my first photo, with the comment ‘Happiness is a state of mind’. Despite what I have said, and despite the fact that we may well move on sooner than we thought, I don’t regret moving here. Rich would look at it as a failure; until I remind him that at the time we made the decision to move here it was because it was what we needed – at that time.

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We have learnt so much from this adventure: We have learnt not to be wasteful; that simple things can bring you so much happiness; that having each other (despite all we have been through) has been a blessing. We have learnt that we do not need material things to be happy. We got Wiglet! All of these lessons will be taken forward to where we go next. You see – my state of mind is that we did the right thing; I did not want to continue with the life I had before and I know that I will honestly not go back to it.

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And again I have chosen this photo carefully. I love to watch washing blowing on the line. I find it so fulfilling: what was dirty is now clean and blowing in the wind and sunshine, it’s a simple thing but one that brings me pleasure; and it is all about change, dirty to clean, wet to dry, free to blow in the wind and sunshine. Yesterday Rich and I (after having many discussions this week) were out in the garden with the Welshies cutting logs and clearing the garden. It was a blowy sunny March day and I found myself looking across the valley and thinking how blessed I was to have lived here; even though now I am thinking of moving on. I know it will be a couple of years before our house sells, and even a year of more before we have it ready to even consider putting it up for sale. I also know that in that time things may change again and we may have a different plan. So right there in that moment (because that is all we have) I looked across the valleys on a glorious spring day, with my beautiful dogs running around the garden like teddy bears, and I still counted my

I looked at Rich, and he looked as miserable as sin! I asked him was there not anything in the day that made him happy; because at that moment in time I was happy. He replied by saying ‘but you said you weren’t happy anymore that there is not enough here for you.’ To which I replied:

‘I am happy in this moment in time; no I do not think that this is the life I want to follow for any future length of time but right now, in the here and now (because that is all I have) I am happy: I am happy I get to spend time with my husband in a sunny spring garden; I am happy that I get to work with him chopping logs, with the dogs running around my feet chasing the rats and chickens. I am glad that I get to feel the wind on my face and the sunshine; I am happy that I get to look out across that view; I am happy that all the little spring flowers are appearing in the lawn, and that summer is on it’s way. I am happy that I have logs to cut and logs for next winter; I am happy that we have made some decisions; Just because I have made the decision not to stay here does not mean that I am unhappy, or that I cannot appreciate what I do have.’

I then looked at Rich and asked him what he was happy with he looked at me like a rabbit in the headlights and said ‘I am happy that I’ve got tobacco!!!’

Good job I love him!

It is so clear that happiness is just a state of mind. How often do we fail to look at all the small things that are in the here and now because we have made decisions to change things? How often do we not just do that anyway!

So we will continue on this journey but there are new horizons ahead……

Moisy

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Driven Part II – When you’re ‘living the dream’

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Making our own way, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside

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I wrote this blog and had it in my drafts ready to post. Then life took over and instead I posted about how we were seriously re-thinking our position.

Here & Now

In it  I was honest about whether we were going to stay. Looking back now, much of what I wrote in this post still applies: I am still on a roll, whatever we decide it could well take 2 years or more to sell our house so we still have to survive. Here is what I wrote: and what I have added and my additional thoughts since my last post is in bold.

I am on such a roll that I am hoping to inspire others to never give up; and more importantly stop ‘putting up’: with crap, with rude people, with unnecessary comments, with other’s putting you off, with things you don’t like……..

That still applies: I do want to inspire others. Even if we change what we are doing at least we have had the adventure. We have not stayed still we have took the chance. I know that many people (and one of Rich’s fears) will say how we failed. They need to be careful because it is highly likely that they will be the same people who want to play safe and not take that chance. That might be pointed out to them by me!

The same is true in that you should not put up with crap or rude people; or be put off. God knows the amount of time that Rich and I slogged our guts out to do a good job, because we wanted to and because we thought it would bring us more work in. But it never did with the exception of one lovely person (who I have only met recently) but that is another story. Rich and I have never been the type of people who just work for the money; we have to do a good job for our benefit, to feel good about what we have achieved. One of the things that will go into the negative column will be how many times that has been abused since moving out here.No more! 

We were in a bad place over the last few months, in fact I did not know at one point how we were going to pay our bills. But a series of unfortunate events made me stop and look and come out fighting. As a result: our bills are all up to date, we have a few months without worry; and I am confident that we will have more.

I am still confident of that, Rich’s website has been very successful; but…..

I said in my last post that I have been driven and I have. Driven……Part I Anyone who reads my other blog (the link is now at the top of each post) will know that when my back is up against the wall I will always come out fighting.

But in 2014 I had worked so hard doing things for other people (because as my counsellor told me: I was a ‘do’er’) that eventually my brain just burnt out; and as I have said, when first moved over here I was still ill. In addition I read the Tao, from which I got so much: don’t plan far ahead because what you think will happen never does (trust me that has been proved to me so many times.) Live in the here and now; always believe that what you truly need will come your way; all true, all something I still adhere to. But the version of the Tao that I read was a bit happy clappy (I must read Alan Watt’s take on it) and I tried to be kind to everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt; add that to being an empath and that was a mistake.

Now the old Moisy is back, the person who got promotion over 4 grades in as many years; the person who would wipe the floor with anyone who was unncessarily rude or unkind; I look back now at what I have been like and the behaviours that I have tolerated from people since moving out here and I have asked myself what the fuck I was doing!

So after setting up the three websites I have also had a major sale on my Etsy shop and now I am going to turn my attention to my book, which is what my other blog (see link at top of page) is about. I have been approached by a self publishing company to publish for a reasonable amount and it is my intention that this will take place this year. Like I said I am driven: I am driven by the people who read my other blog and say things to me like:

‘This post should probably be handed out to all of the new members of our unfortunate club.’ (WordPress)

‘Oh Wow! What an entry! So much feeling, insight, depth, honesty, self awareneess, courage, encouragement, just everything and I have felt almost all of it throughout this journey. Thank you for sharing! (Twitter)

And so many more……

Their comments have given me the confidence to know that my book needs to be out there. As I said in reply to the comment above I always intended it to be a book that people could use to support them, where people would highlight parts and re-read them when they were in a dark place.

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I recently watched a film about people who moved to France from England (Gemma Bovery) and a character said how people think that they will move to a rural area of France and everything will be just blissful; when in fact the reality is very different; it can be lonely (I am not lonely because as well as some close friends I have so many cyber friends now from this blog and my other blog.) and it can be boring. I will be honest that whilst I love where I live and the view it will not sustain me forever; and I now know that we will continue our adventure somewhere else. I am not afraid of that.

And as I have aleady posted in my previous blog this is likely to be the case. I am not bored as such: God knows there is enough to do with the cleaning and renovation alone. But I need to do more. I am  back and I am capable of so much more; and I need to be somewhere I can take that opportunity. 

It got me thinking and I looked up about depression in rural areas. It is not specific to France, but depression is often higher in rural areas; and France has the highest number of people taking anti-depressants in the world! (By population of course.) Iunderstand why: the taxes are high; the beauracracy is antiquated and needs to be dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming! We are currently being pursued for a housing tax on the house we rented for three months in 2015. We moved out in 2015 and yet they still try and get us to pay a tax on it for 2017!!! Despite numerous letters.

The countryside is wonderful, the birdsong second to none; but once you have seen it and experienced it for a number of years whilst it in itself will never be boring, all that comes with it: nothing to do, shops all shut down, bars not open past 9pm, sometimes you can go into to town and not see one person and that can be boring!  In our pretty little town there is only two restaurants/bars. Nearly all of the shops have shut down and the town in itself is dying, along with many others in France.

Even our dear friends believe this and were having a discussion in January about it; about how Ambrieres had a beautiful little bistro but it shut down, crippled by the taxes. So what is there in Ambrieres to visit? Once you have visited the two bars (one by the pretty bridge by the river but also on a busy road, one with it’s outside space in the car park! Really you could be anywhere you wouldn’t know you were in France!) what else is there to do? This is the case in so much of rural France. There is nothing there for the young people to go to so they don’t want to stay and move to the large cities. Thereby leaving the towns with mainly old people and families who do not tend to spend their money. It really is a very sad side of France and one I did not realise was as bad as it is until I moved here. This is not exclusive to Ambrieres most of the towns are like it, some don’t even have Boulangeries any more, and that is embedded in the constitution! 

Don’t get me wrong: when I first came out here I needed peace and quiet and tranquility. But now I am back to being me, whilst I don’t want to go headlong back into the fray I do need something more to occupy my mind, and I need to work. I miss really working. 

So back to being driven: This is why I will be finishing my book (I may get to travel). This is why I have set up the campsite, we can get to meet new people and make each day diferent; this is why I have advertised that Rich is available to work all over France, we get to see new horizons. Add to that at least once a month we are going to visit somewhere new, within a two hour drive; and take the Welshies with us. I live in France I need to see more of France, and whilst it may use some of our money who knows what the future holds, you shouldn’t sit and wait!!!

Whilst I am here I am know it is essential to go further afield and see some more of France, who knows what life will show me! 

I read recently that passion is about the love for the journey and being driven is about the destination. Normally I am all about the passion but right now I have to be driven for us to survive. So driven it is! 

Moisy

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Spring: Blue skies, warm sunshine,babbling brooks and hope…

23 Saturday Feb 2019

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, Simple things, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

Sunshine on my shoulders: John Denver

There is nothing like the warmth of sunshine to make you feel better; and there is nothing like the promise of spring to give you hope.

I am sitting here now with sunshine streaming in through the window, the warmth providing me with all I need – there are no heaters on in February! Spring has well and truly sprung over here and we are reaching temperatures of over twenty degrees on our patio. It has been like that all week, apart from a few foggy days (but let us not forget it is February after all!)

for those of you who read my blog you know that recently I have returned back to my old self: and part of that means that I can be quite driven (as my last post explained) read here

But the thing with that is I can also be hard to keep up with. Years ago (during ‘The War’) my sister told me that I was like a speedboat, I pick something up really quickly and I just run with it, leaving everyone else behind in my wake because they haven’t even got their head around the idea yet. It was a fair analogy, and we used it: so we likened it to me being in the speedboat and Rich on the ski’s behind desparately trying to keep up; and we had a safe phrase for Rich to use which was ‘whoa I’m on one ski! or ‘I’m in the water! When he said this I knew that I was going too fast for him and that I needed to slow down and go back and put him in the boat with me. If you would like to read more about that time in our lives here is the  link: click here

I think that Rich has felt like that recently. He does get down,( I have never hidden any sturggles we have had because I passionately believe that people should talk about mental health,)and he is not able to put into place the coping mechanisms that I can as quickly as I can, but bless him he does try. But last week I decided that I was going back to pick him up and take him with me. So on Saturday morning I said that we were not doing anything to the house or garden, despite all of the things that we have to do. It was a beautiful day and I said we were going out to another town for a walk.

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It is so easy over here to just keep working and working, wearing old working clothes and doing the same old thing and I believe that it is important that sometimes you just go ‘sod it!’ let’s just get out there and let life show us the way, in all her simplicity.

When we got to the pretty little town of Lassay Les Chateaux, only a fifteen minute drive away, the sun was shining, the sky was blue and the brooks were babbling.

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The town is steeped in history: during ‘Le Terroir’ (the French revolution) the chapel in the chateaux was used to interrogate people, and we found a tiny little alley that was probably a main thoroughfare,or possibly escape route,  all those years ago

It led us down to a small bridge over the babbling brook and out behind the chateaux.

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We walked around the chateaux, through the rose gardens, and by the church, and then just sat on the hill and watched the world go by. A simple thing; we didn’t spend any money, we didn’t even have a coffee (the price of two coffees would buy us enough chicken breasts for the week!) but we chilled.

When we got home Rich looked at me and said ‘I am glad we did that, I feel so much better.’

This week he has stripped wallpaper, cut logs, started to tackle the ditch outside our house which is still full of trees; and moved the door in our lounge. Just an afternoon taking time out in the sunshine, letting nature invigorate us, was all it took.

Take the time folks, and have a good weekend.

Moisy

When the cold, harsh winter has given its last breath,
When the sky above shows life instead of death,
When the claws reaching to the frozen sky become decorated with leaves,
When the animals -long in hiding- scurry from trees,
We know winter has ended.

Spring by Camille Gotera

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/change-of-seasons-spring

 

 

Spring’s being blown in on a Hooley…

10 Sunday Feb 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here on a Sunday afternoon there are 80km an hour winds blowing around our house. They blew in on Friday and then subsided only to come back with a vengeance last night. I took this picture of our two chairs on Friday evening and now one is on it’s back!

The reason I took the picture was because the chairs had been positioned there last Sunday, for us to enjoy the warm sunshine after an afternoon of working in the garden. (We’re winning the battle with the tree trunks and gradually clearing the brambles)

It really was such a beautiful day, and as we sat there with a panache (shandy, a drink of lemonade,beer and a dash of lime) in the warmth it reminded me again of how all things change, and things go from bad to good and back again. As Rich said ‘there is nothing like warm sunshine to make you feel that all is right with the world again.’

I wrote only recently of how I thought that spring was going to come early (Spring and winter) and I was right. Although The Hooley is blowing it is not cold, in fact we’re into double figures and the forecast is we will hit fourteen degrees by Saturday, with sun and clouds all week. That is warm for February over here, and it is good to not have to light the fire really early every day, and to be able to leave the expensive electric heaters off. (They tax you on your use here and then tax you on the tax!)

So, after the lovely warm Sunday, winter tried to take a hold again; and all week we have had rain, mizzle (a Cornish word meaning a mixture of rain and drizzle, which is like a mist that makes you really wet!) Despite it all we have persevered with the garden because we have plans for the summer (more of that to come later: I told you I’m back!) I’m back! But some of the days it was just too wet, so I have been busy setting up a website, and finally took hold of all of our paperwork, four years worth!! All is filed away in relevant folders, every plastic docket is labelled, and every folder has an index.

I have also driven Rich (it easy to lose your motivation when you are down): So he has set me up a temporary light for my other light in my kitchen (been without it 2 years, so I keep forgetting to put it on now!) started to sort out our large wooden barn structure so that it is more efficient for storage and to work in;

And also started to strip the lining paper off our stairwell (a pig of a job) and has painted our fireplace; turning ugly to beautiful:

I think I told you, I’m back!

Where the weather is concerned Spring is winning this battle, and she is coming early: the crocus are now abundant in our garden, the narcissi and daffodils have buds and even in this hooley the rain is lashing on the windows one minute and the sun is shining the next. Persephone is coming back early this year.

I did say to Rich that we should go for a walk, but he has just brought me a cup of tea and said ‘enjoy your walk and when you get back I ‘ll have a nice cup of tea waiting for you!’ Bastard!

So just like nature I have realised that you have to use all that you have to survive in life, and that my lesson was to understand that one of my greatest gifts is my strength and fortitude. I needed to get back the old Moisy, that did what she had to do, and sometimes fucked people off! I understand now, let’s see what this year brings.

I am off for a walk in my garden now, and will be settling down for a film and roast chicken dinner I think.

Have a good day.

Moisy

Counting My Blessings: Day 10

02 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, People, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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So here I am on my final post of the ten day series Counting My Blessings and I am going to cheat, I am counting three in this post, and will put it under the heading ‘My Family’.

First let’s talk about my son Tom. I chose this picture carefully because he is on top of a peak in the Lake District in England, with the sun behind him, and for me it symbolises how he can do anything he wants, he is young, and his life is in front of him with every opportunity available should he wish to take it.

I am proud of him: how he has coped with mum and dad moving to France, has pursued his dream of working in the gaming industry and has never given that up. I don’t think he realises just how much strength you need to pursue your dream, and exactly how much strength he actually has.

He is full of fun, empathetic and learnt his lesson to walk in others shoes and is loved by so many people. I am proud of him.

Now my second blessing, my sister. She will kill me for putting this photo on, but she has to be in this, not least for the support she has given Tom over the past four years. The second photo is of Tom and I, with Tom getting ready to walk her down the aisle.

We have had our ups and downs, as sisters do! She thinks she’s always right ( and annoyingly more often than not she is!) But she is always there, she cares, and Tom would not have his dream job without her tenacity and love.

Now last but never least:

My husband Richard.

If any of you have read my serialisation of my soon to be published book (it will happen this year whatever) https://makingthisbetter.com you will know how Rich I and sailed The Ocean of Despair for a long time, to get to where we are today.

This man fought tooth and nail to keep me; he evolved because he wanted to, not because I asked him to; because I never did! After what happened he had to keep up with me, I wasn’t going to wait for him!

And every minute of every hour of every day he did.

I once had someone say to me that they ‘had never had a man look at them in the way Rich looks at me’ and that was true, I know I am truly blessed to have that in my life.

He is a kind and gentle giant, who enabled me to trust him enough to come on this adventure. He makes me laugh every day, literally every day, with his dry sense of humour, and silliness.

Everyone he meets loves him, because he just sees the funny side of life. Look at him in this picture, he is so naughty he has led them all astray.

I am blessed to have this man in my life, he is sensitive and loving; strong when I need him. I could not be on this adventure without him. We are blessed to be as strong as we are now, and we both count that blessing every day, and NEVER take it for granted.

I know he will cry when he reads this; and that just makes me love him even more.

So my final blessing, my family, but more than that: the pride I have for my son, the hope I have for him too.

The understanding I have of my sister, and the respect too. My book wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her!

The respect I have for my husband, the love I have for them all. I am truly blessed.

I hope you have enjoyed this series; And I hope it has made people think about the small things, because, trust me, they are the things that keep you going in life. So in this New Year, please take time to stop, and see the small stuff.

Moisy

Counting my blessings: Day 5

28 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by in My family and other furry creatures, My home, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure

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This is Molly, my beautiful girl. Nineteen years ago, just after Rich and I got married I found a little ginger female kitten behind our shed; even to this day Rich does not believe me, and thinks I actually went and collected her from somewhere! Sadly Pussy Willow, as she became known, died when she was just two years old, but not before she had kittens, who were born in our cupboard; and we kept two of them. One, Milly Kitten, was a reclusive cat, who liked to be outside most of her life. She died at the ripe age of thirteen, after spending a year sleeping indoors every night. We loved her dearly, and Molly missed her

Molly was a different story, she loves the sunshine, but hates the cold, rain or snow. She is now very old, eighteen and a half years, but all the time she eats, and sleeps (pretty much all the time now) we know she is okay. She has had her moments over the past year but she still loves life and she is a blessing that we count every day.

She was the cat who lay beside me, with Snowy our Westie when war had devastated our lives (see my other blog http://makingthisbetter.com) they literally made a sandwich either side with me as the filling and she loves me still.

Molly kitten is my blessing.

Over the years other kittens have been brought into the house starting with this pretty little thing: Diddyman dod. She is part of our story because we gave her a home a year after ‘The War’; she was our band aid baby and only Five weeks old when we got her. Molly adopted her and taught her all she knows; we can’t believe she is ten years old, time has just flown.

Then we got Daisy, we brought her home with the shopping, as you do! Tom had gone to university and she was our ’empty nest’ baby. She is a huge, but incredibly gentle cat, just happy with life, and a bowl of milk and cream.

Sadly our last baby: Tinky Tiny Tilly, or Tillybet, was a naughty one, who gave Daisy so much confidence, they were the Black Hand Gang. But Tilly went out one day in March this year and never came home, and my eyes still fill with tears for my baby. You can read all about her in my post Tinky Tiny Tilly.

All of these cats, including sofa loaf, (A story of hardship, serendipity, and love -Sophie The Sofa Loaf) are our blessings, they make us laugh, and I know they will make us cry, just as Tilly has; and Molly will. But if you don’t open your heart to love, even knowing it will cause you pain; then you have not lived. It is all a blessing.

More and more are starting to share their blessings, spread the word let’s take people into the new year on a positive. Please share.

If you want to visit my other blog you can find it here https://makingthisbetter.com

Moisy

As I sit here…..

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here this morning, with my first cup of tea of the day (I am English after all!) I have found the urge to write.

The picture above is my garden at this present moment that I am writing this. The view from the valley as you can see is totally obscured because there is a thick fog and autumn has finally rolled in. A complete contrast to just weeks ago..

For the first time this season we have condensation on our windows, and single figure temperatures outside, but our house is warm. The roof on our kitchen has finally been replaced (more of that to come in another post) and add to the mix our new front door and the difference it has made is immeasurable. I smiled to myself today when I looked at our doors, and there was no condensation on them.

Sadly they are nowhere near as pretty as our old door, but it had to go, it was beyond repair (and trust me I tried) the oak had split from the hundred years of driving rain and wind it had endured so it could not be saved. We have re-used it (as you would know we love a bit of old and vintage, and will repurpose where we can, you only have to look at our Etsy shop) as a feature in our garden, it now plays the part of a secret door into a fairy kingdom.

I know we’re mad! But helps in life sometimes!

I love the autumn, One of the biggest things for me about living here is the changing of the seasons. I’ve said it before and I will probably say it again; it is a constant reminder that things change, and that although they will come back again they will never be the same as the one before. Nothing in life ever is. For me the autumn is the most poignant because all the things are dying off, it is the end of something that you will never get back, and it is a reminder to treasure every moment.

As some of you may know I am sharing a story from long ago about Rich and I, it has taken off. It is a sad story, but remembering where we are now, it is a story of hope. It too is a story of something dying and then coming back again, but in a different way, it was never going to be what it was before. Perhaps it is apt that I decided to share it in the autumn!

For those who have read my blog over the years you will know it made us stronger, and gave us the courage to take this adventure; and despite the hardships we have had along the way they have never broken us, almost sometimes, but we have always got through.

We have learnt that money really does not buy you happiness, and material things may give you comfort but they don’t make you happy. Because despite having no water, no roof, a leaking cesspit, dodgy cars at one point, and at times been down to the last six euros to our name, things have always come through, because we are happy in our minds. We have the ability to laugh, sometimes at each other, every day. We lost our egos.

So yesterday we read a passage from the Tao and the explanation asked a question, to think about what you thought made you happy and then ask yourself if that were true. It was designed to help people realise that the material things they bought did not really make them happy. So Rich and I both thought about it independently and both came up with the same answer, independently: it was to sit in our garden and look out across the valley.

We love our life, we love the simplicity and we both agreed that even if we had enough money to not have to worry about spending it, we still wouldn’t go out for meals, our greatest pleasure would be to sit in our garden and look at the view, with each other. (And all the furries of course!)

We are blessed.

Have a food day folks, enjoy the small things.

Moisy

If you want to learn more about us you may want to check out:

Makingthisbetter.com my new blog

PetiteFrenchfancies @etsy is my shop full of eclectic (of course) things.

You can also find me on Instagram as moisfrenchadventure, and Pinterest as moisfrenchadventure.com

Change is coming, the things we’ve learnt – The Roof

25 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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“An integral being knows without going, see withoug looking, and accomplishes without doing.” 

Lao Tzu

In my previous post I told you how our roof is now being replaced, but for those who like to think differently there is more of a story here – it is how Rich and I have learnt to accept things as they are, and now things are coming together.

This has been our kitchen roof for the last two and a half years.

I wrote in a previous blog about Allianz the insurance company with whom we had our house insured, and how when storm Katy blew through in the March 2016, she ripped some holes in our roof and the insurance company refused to pay out because ‘we had not maintained it!’ Considering we had only lived here seven months that was difficult!

We had run out of money at that time and had no means to repair it. We listened to others and bought some tiles when we had some money left from our intermittent income believing that we would eventually accumulate enought to repair the roof, but we never did; we tried to drive circumstance and made our lives even more difficult because we were spending money we could not afford on something that was going to do nothing. As if to prove the point in the September a tornado ripped through the garden, literally! It took half the silver birch with it, and our gazebo, it carried Harley’s paddling pool off into the chemin

…but more than anything it took half the roof!

So for two years we lived with a tarpaulin. Two tarpaulins over each other in fact, after the cat ripped one!

At first Rich and I could not see how we could carry on living here, or carry on with this adventure. Other’s asked whether life was indeed trying to ‘show us the way’ and if we should give up. But at this point I had started to read the Tao, and I did not want to go home. People asked how we could live like it, but, as someone said to me “It wouldn’t be an adventure if there weren’t bumps in the road!”

So we did the only thing we could do, we carried on and believed that good things would come our way one day.

At first Rich got really stressed. worried about the timber rotting – as someone helpfully told him it would – questioned how we were living like this, but I never stopped believing; and I would read the Tao to him and eventually he ‘got it’. So whilst over the years we’ve had bowls all over the kitchen at times, and learnt how to stop water splashing everywhere, we also learnt to accept that it had not killed us, had not killed our dream and we were still here. The worry about how we would survive left us because we knew that to worry about something that you cannot change is just a waste of energy that will just bring negative shit your way; and most important of all we learned to laugh about it.

As time went by I started to read Deepak chopra and as he says:

‘You accept things as they are, not as you wish they were in this moment. This is important to understand. You can wish for things in the future to be different but in ‘this’ moment you have to accept things as they are.” 

(The Seven psiritual Laws of Success – The Law of Least Effort)

This situation has reminded me of my old life when I lived in England; then we would have stressed to the max about getting the roof fixed, got into debt, panicked, listened to others who would have said we had to get it done. We would have believed that we could not survive without it, and we would have worried about what other’s thought. Here in rural France everyone lives simply, and I find that people understand and accept when people cannot afford things and they do not judge – not our neighbours anyway. But most importantly Rich and I have learnt not to care what other’s think, to let go of our egos and just be us. I say it often, as my darling late mum used to say “All the time they are judging you they are leaving someone else alone.” A brilliant way to look at things.

So here we are over two years later and our roof is being replaced. I know that this is at the right moment of time that his has happened and I know that we had to be without that roof to show us that we did not need what we thought we did; that nothing other than ill health and death is insurmountable and that something would come along in the end and enable us to replace our roof – and come along it did. But most importantly this lesson showed Rich and I that you do not need everything that you think you do – No, not even a roof!!

Let go,  don’t force things and see what happens.

Trust – Always

Moisy

“Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the filed of all possibilities. ”

Deepak Chopra (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.)

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