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Tag Archives: writing

Understanding yourself: Me

04 Friday Oct 2019

Posted by in Dream, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I have shared on this blog that the year before we came out here I stood on the precipice of having a full breakdown, and I did have a mini one. I have written about how I can be driven, which in some ways is a good thing and essential, (more of that in another post) and yes, being that type of person is a blessing. But it can also be a curse, when insecurity creeps in through the crack in the open door.

Without my strong personality my book would not be out there, and my Blog would not have been so successful, but more than that so many people would not have found something to give them hope in their hour of need.

But despite that I also remember my counsellors words well when she told me I was a ‘doer’, and that if I didn’t learn to utilise, but control, that part of my personality it could actually destroy me.

Living here has been hard in that I now have arthritis and work is limited for me; because I cannot do the things I used to do; and you see for someone like me to not be able to have something to focus on means that I feel as if I have lost myself. I have always needed something to define me: in the UK it was my career, which virtually destroyed me, but coming here and trying to find something else proved difficult.

But last year life shook me up and showed me the way: I started the Other blog and it took off. I always knew that sharing our story would help others, and now I know it has. As I have written in previous posts it jolted me back to being me, it gave me impetus, and all the things I have worked on: H’s website for the business, the Facebook page, and the business itself, which is doing better than it ever has, was as a result of me finding my impetus again; or as I have said: being driven. The blog reached 96,000 views in a year and I was in control of what I was doing: which is something I love.

But once the book was published the control was taken away from me to a degree. Yes I could promote it, increase my media presence, but I would never actually know any stats for how well the book was doing until the royalty cheque fell on the mat; and that for me was a problem. It was what was keeping me awake at the beginning of the week; I had to relinquish some of the control, and I had to trust the fact that someone else was now doing the driving. I knew it, I knew it was going to be the case but my brain remained active and kept me awake because I couldn’t control it.

I still keep a journal, as I have written on the other blog my journal was at one point the book that saved my life, but I don’t write in it often now, the two blogs tend to work for me. But as I have said they are still not the same as keeping a journal, which is a place where you don’t worry about your audience, because your audience is you, and so you have to be honest.

After my last post I knew that I had to write my journal, that was the key to sleeping. So I did: I had a frank conversation with myself: that the blog had and still is, doing so well why would the book fail? I reminded myself of all the comments I have received from all over the world:

‘Thanks for your amazing insight it helps me to understand how to stay strong through all of this.’

‘This! I need to read this today!’

‘When I am having a hard day sometimes I go back to Rosie’s blog, and it helps me get my demon under control.’

I told myself that I need to have a little more belief in myself, and I was honest with myself that at times I doubt myself and I questioned why. I wrote about the power of belief, but despite that when things are out of our control our belief begins to falter, and the strength is in pulling ourselves back up, and holding on.

On Wednesday night I slept soundly. I have always wanted to be able to meditate, but have struggled. So when I recently read a post from the Fabulous Biscuit factory blog I realised that writing my journal is a form of meditation for me. I put my pen to paper and I just write, and then I read what I have written and my mind is clear.

So in knowing that life shows us the way yesterday I found my book for sale in Waterstones, and stocked in Gardners. I knew that meant that the book was doing well, and it helped me a great deal, I also knew that life was telling me to hold on to my belief which was confirmed when we met a new client with the business last night: they work in the book world and when I said that the book is stocked in Gardners they advised that before that could have happened Gardners would have done their homework: they only stock books that they think will sell!

So I will do all the hard work I need to and support and promote my book, (of course I will) but I will give myself a timeframe every day, and some days I will step back from it. After all someone else is doing the driving! I know that!

Rosie

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Belief – Just have faith and believe

21 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Making our own way, Reflections, The continuing adventure, Us

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I am now reading, we are now reading, ‘The Book of Awakening’ by Mark Nepo. There are many passages that have been highlighted for reference not least ‘The Spoked Wheel’; in fact that made me cry; but that is for another post. Today I want to say about belief, in fact will probably post a few posts about belief in the future.

From the book of awakening by Mark Nepo…

‘January 11

Ted Shawn

Underneath all we are taught, there is a voice that calls to us beyond what is reasonable, and in listening to that flicker of spirit, we often find deep healing. This is the voice of embodiment calling us to live our lives like sheet music played…’

For me this whole passage was about belief. If we had not moved to France, and I had not had the time and the solitude to research and interact with others, I would not have written this book. I would have had the n’er do wells surrounding me and I would have struggled to have got off that wheel and hold on to my belief.

I had another post lined up for this week, but life as always has taken over and showed me the way and on Monday I was called and told my book had gone to publication. On Thursday this arrived.

After nearly four years of hard work, writing and re-writing my book, to hold it in my hand is something I cannot describe and it made me cry.

Within an hour people were messaging asking where they could buy it. I was about to reply and say that it was not available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble yet, but just thought I would check; and there it was! I cried again.

I cannot believe it. But why can’t I. At the end of the day I wrote my book in the belief that it would help others, and my blog (93,000 views and counting) and the comments and messages I receive proved that my belief was right.

I have experienced so often the ‘oh you’re writing a book (in the tone that implies that they should follow it up with ‘ of course you are’), or been asked why, or told you won’t earn any money from that, and so on. But I never gave up.

Our’s is a story that helps others in what often is the most traumatic time of their life. So it was never just about earning money, it was about helping others, it was about perseverance, and it was about not following the crowd. Ultimately it was all about ‘Belief’: it’s all about belief and never giving up.

So now it’s out there and I hope some of you will enjoy reading it.

Thanks for reading, this is part of my French adventure after all. I couldn’t have done it without living here.

Rosie

Making This Better is available internationally on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris in both paperback & ebook.

Making This Better the book is now available including the journal entries for the first 5 years of our recovery & the whole 21 days of ‘The War’. Available internationally in paperback and ebook  at Amazon and Barnes & Noble also available at Xlibris and Apple Books for iPad and Waterstones Bookstores for click & collect

I would love to hear your feedback.

 

As I sit here

22 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by in Change is a coming, Dream, Reflections, Simple things, The continuing adventure, Us

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It is just after nine on a Monday morning. Rich aka Danny (I will need to unlink this blog!) has gone off to work, and I am left contemplating.

I just had one of those moments that you get in life, where the sunlight coming through the window, and the silence, and the clocks ticking, the birds singing, and my beautiful Welshie boy asleep on the chair, made me stop and commit this moment to memory.

It is one of those moments where you are reminded that the simple things are the most precious.

Rich and I are back to ‘do we stay, or do we go’. We sat yesterday evening in the garden and we talked about what we want, or that we don’t know what we want, but we do know some of the things we don’t want, and it got me thinking:

I have said many times that we need to write down some of the things we discuss, because being a journal keeper I know that writing something down gives you clarity; and also reminds you how quickly what you thought you wanted can change.

I have been absent quite awhile because I have been concentrating on my book (under the pseudonym of Rosie Joseph) and the blog linked to it has just hit over 72,100 views with over 11,000 visitors. Every day I wake up a voice in my head says ‘you need to get that book out there before you can make any decisions.’ Every day when someone messages me to say how my blog helps them: the lady yesterday who told me she was going to buy a journal, because my blog inspired her; the lady who told me that after reading one of my posts she knew that going back in time was not going to help her; the people who say you have put into words how I feel, at a time I cannot understand, they all inspire me to get that book out there; because I know it will change lives, including ours.

So is now a time to be making decisions? Not yet. I finally got there, the book is going to the publishers today.

Lets see what life shows us.

Rosie (aka Moisy)

That Friday Night Feeling

24 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in Food in France, Making our own way, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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I wrote in my introduction to this blog, many moons ago, that I wanted to inspire other people to take that adventure: to make that leap. I commented on one of my early posts about how I did not want to just ‘sit and wait for God’. That is still true, and as part of the process we have been going through I came to realise this week that I miss  structure in my life. You know: the thing that gives you that ‘Friday Night Feeling’: that feeling that you get after a hard week at work and you come home on that Friday night, knowing that now the next few days are your own. You can change your routine, get up later, have a beer (or a glass of wine) have something special to eat (ours was always a Friday night dirty kebab) you can just breathe.

So if you are thinking of freedom from the boring and mundane; freedom from the ‘hamster wheele of life’, freedom to do what you want when you want to: to have long endless days stretching out in front of you: careful what you wish for.

I have come to realise as part of this adventure that because I am a ‘doer’ I always need to be ‘doing’. I always need to do a good job, I need to do the best I can, I need to do. As I have said I was still ill when I came out here (from doing too much!) but one of the lessons I have learnt from this is that I still have to do something.

I also know that there has to be a balance: my old job was a job that chewed me up and spat me out: I worked so hard that it consumed me; so it is about finding that balance; and if we can continue to live without rent or a mortage perhaps part-time work will be the way forward for me, or my book…… or writing my new book!

I came to realise this because Rich has been at work all week: not coming in until after seven each night and it has given us structure. It has also inspired me to put some structure into my life so that, whilst still living here, I  too can find a sense of fulfillment and have that ‘Friday Night Feeling.’

I had it this week, not least because Rich would be with me for the weekend; but because I have worked hard also: I have moved logs across the garden ready to split, I have split all the logs we cut last weekend; I have promoted our Etsy shop, I have polished and cleaned out the living room to within an inch of it’s life; but more than anything I have worked on my book, including promotion, for over twenty five hours. I know that whilst I am here  I have to complete my book and get it published. Who knows that may change my direction again!

I believe in my book, I know that it helps others because they tell me so. This week my serialisation of it on my other blog  hit over thirty thousand views in total since I started writing it less than six months ago: with over seven hundred in one day this week alone. There has been a furore on social media and I am now committed to getting this done. I want to do it, I believe in it.

Serialisation of book

So back to our Friday Night Feeling: Rich came home, with his money in his wallet, pleased to finally be earning again. We opened a bottle fo wine and relaxed and I rustled up one of my kebabs that I have learnt to cook since living over here. We found something to watch on the TV and sat down (late because it was Friday night after all!) with our kebab on our laps. Wonderful!

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Then Bam!!! Out went the lights, off went the telly, and we were in total darkness. A good old power cut! Picture the scene: we were not to be deterred so we got out some old headlamp torches (you wear them on your head) and sat eating out kebab by torchlight! Not the best but it could have been worse: It could have happened when I was cooking it! We have just had a new meter fitted and worried that it could be faulty until we looked out of the window and realised that there was not a light to be seen across Ambrieres. Our good old neighbour and friend, Marc, resolved it for the community but we were without it until mid-day on Saturday.

I am now writing on a Sunday, because I want to share with you all, who are going back to work tomorrow: if you didn’t have that work where would you get the structure from in your life? Because trust me it is hard to implement it yourself.

Have a good Sunday folks and be grateful for what you have got.

Moisy

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Changes: I never thought it

25 Sunday Nov 2018

Posted by in People, Reflections, The continuing adventure

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When we originally moved to France I always had it in the back of my mind that I would write the book that I am now serialising in my other blog .

But I also thought that I would be able to continue to work in some way, and I think I said many moons ago that I would do anything. Well arthritis has put paid to that, and whilst I can still do any admin task I cannot clean gites, and chateaus. or houses anymore, or help Rich, because my hands have now given up the ghost, as has one of my legs. In addition I think that all of the horrible people that I met along the way was life’s way of telling me to have the confidence to write. I believe that I will get published one day.

It does drive me nuts that I am not working in some way, so I turned my hand to writing my book, and this blog, and the other blog, and now it has turned into a full time job – albeit not a paid one at the moment.

But there have been so many other rewards: The cyber friends that I have made across the world including the USA  and Canada. I have had the most wonderful conversations and giggles with them, not least Marty from Snakes in the Grass who has sent me the most wonderful emails, or Dolly Allen from the Queen Is In with whom I have had some real giggles – not least last week talking about cockney accents and Dick Van Dyke! Methinks we are pretty similar. I have been told that I must visit should I ever find myself in America – how lovely is that?! You may want to read their blogs folks I can recommend them.

But over the last two months there have been people who have contacted me for help in understanding what has happened to them, and for hope that it can get better. That is why I have written my book, that is why I have started the other blog. Who would have thought that out of so much heartbreak good can come from it by using what you learnt to help others?

There have also been people who have contacted me to say how I have inspired them, through my writing, to take the plunge and have that adventure. Not least my dear friend Mary, who is off to the rural countryside in England and doing something new, and a lovely lady from England who told me that my post about what happened to me, and my breakdown made her cry and realise that she had to make change. For some people I know… I little bit more about me

But more than anything I never would have believed that this adventure would lead me to a whole host of people who just want to give hope and support to others, in what are really difficult times in their lives.

I just wanted to say this – you never know what an adventure will hold for you, I didn’t expect this!

Have a good Sunday folks.

And this one’s for Marty –  a lovely foggy sunrise that Rich snapped last week.

Moisy

http://makingthisbetter.com

As I sit here…..

17 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Reflections, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure, The seasons

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As I sit here this morning, with my first cup of tea of the day (I am English after all!) I have found the urge to write.

The picture above is my garden at this present moment that I am writing this. The view from the valley as you can see is totally obscured because there is a thick fog and autumn has finally rolled in. A complete contrast to just weeks ago..

For the first time this season we have condensation on our windows, and single figure temperatures outside, but our house is warm. The roof on our kitchen has finally been replaced (more of that to come in another post) and add to the mix our new front door and the difference it has made is immeasurable. I smiled to myself today when I looked at our doors, and there was no condensation on them.

Sadly they are nowhere near as pretty as our old door, but it had to go, it was beyond repair (and trust me I tried) the oak had split from the hundred years of driving rain and wind it had endured so it could not be saved. We have re-used it (as you would know we love a bit of old and vintage, and will repurpose where we can, you only have to look at our Etsy shop) as a feature in our garden, it now plays the part of a secret door into a fairy kingdom.

I know we’re mad! But helps in life sometimes!

I love the autumn, One of the biggest things for me about living here is the changing of the seasons. I’ve said it before and I will probably say it again; it is a constant reminder that things change, and that although they will come back again they will never be the same as the one before. Nothing in life ever is. For me the autumn is the most poignant because all the things are dying off, it is the end of something that you will never get back, and it is a reminder to treasure every moment.

As some of you may know I am sharing a story from long ago about Rich and I, it has taken off. It is a sad story, but remembering where we are now, it is a story of hope. It too is a story of something dying and then coming back again, but in a different way, it was never going to be what it was before. Perhaps it is apt that I decided to share it in the autumn!

For those who have read my blog over the years you will know it made us stronger, and gave us the courage to take this adventure; and despite the hardships we have had along the way they have never broken us, almost sometimes, but we have always got through.

We have learnt that money really does not buy you happiness, and material things may give you comfort but they don’t make you happy. Because despite having no water, no roof, a leaking cesspit, dodgy cars at one point, and at times been down to the last six euros to our name, things have always come through, because we are happy in our minds. We have the ability to laugh, sometimes at each other, every day. We lost our egos.

So yesterday we read a passage from the Tao and the explanation asked a question, to think about what you thought made you happy and then ask yourself if that were true. It was designed to help people realise that the material things they bought did not really make them happy. So Rich and I both thought about it independently and both came up with the same answer, independently: it was to sit in our garden and look out across the valley.

We love our life, we love the simplicity and we both agreed that even if we had enough money to not have to worry about spending it, we still wouldn’t go out for meals, our greatest pleasure would be to sit in our garden and look at the view, with each other. (And all the furries of course!)

We are blessed.

Have a food day folks, enjoy the small things.

Moisy

If you want to learn more about us you may want to check out:

Makingthisbetter.com my new blog

PetiteFrenchfancies @etsy is my shop full of eclectic (of course) things.

You can also find me on Instagram as moisfrenchadventure, and Pinterest as moisfrenchadventure.com

Change – You’re never the driver..

04 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, The continuing adventure

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Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’.

Times they are a changing. Bob Dylan

So I said very early on in the year that ‘Times they are a changing’ (to quote Bob Dylan). In fact at the beginning of the year I just found myself playing this song as I wrote at my desk; and change they are in many ways for us, in fact they have in many ways already.

It is fair to say that this adventure has changed so many things for us, but this blog is about all of the things that I didn’t envisage:

Firstly we didn’t envisage getting Harley five years ago, but fate made us change our holiday plans, book a gite with the person who bred him, who in turn contacted us when he needed a new home.

When we moved here with Harley our love affair with Welsh Terriers had begun but didn’t envisage getting ‘The Wiglet’, her other homes failed, or fell through and it was because we were destined to get her.

This in turn led Karen to get Dylan, and write a blog about her antics (Dylan’s Welshie World) which in turn led Karen back to her first love – writing.

As you all know we are changing material things, the gate, the roof, having water. There are other changes in the pipline and they will include, at some point, a new joint blog and again this will change our lives and others. I didn’t envisage any of this when this year started.

Then I think of the sprititual changes that this journey would take us on: That I would read the Tao, then read it to Rich, and Karen, although at times  she does still have  ‘Tao Light Thursday and No Tao Friday’! The belief that we have got from reading that philosophy has changed our lives in the physical world, we stepped off that cliff and believed that the things we needed would come to us and they have. We understand that where there is good there is bad and vica versa but to not focus on the bad – see the good in the simplest things (Autumn and all it’s glory as I write this.) and be greatful for what you have each day because there is no point worrying about what you cannot change, and you may not have another day so just enjoy what you’ve got.

In addition, in fairness, I rarely make hard and fast plans, because I know from all the books I read that the best laid plans will never work out because you are not doing the driving.

When I first moved over here I started to write this blog which in turn led to my writing my book. It  was always my intention to share our experiences with others because people need help when they find themselves where we were once, especially those with a strong persobality like my own, boy it is hard to harness the wild horses in your brain some times!  But over the last month I finished reading Deepak Chopra, ‘The Seven Spiritual laws of Success’ and I took my lead from the end of the book and decided to serialise my book and get it out there. I realsied that, as Deepak Chopra says, I would be doing something that I was put here to do, something that I love (writing) and  in that  I would be helping people at the same time.

I realised that I could not wait forever for the book to be published when there were people out there who needed to read it, because it would help them cope, help them  know that they are not alone, help them know that they can get through it, and help them know that life can get better. So I have started to blog it; and the reaction has been overwhelming. Thank you all.

I know from the reaction in over less than two days that this is likely to change our lives again -not least the reassurance that I have given to my husband because he worries that I will leave him one day. (Yes, even now!) But the difference is that now when I reassure him it works and he is then fine and comforted.

I knew that I was taking a chance, that some would judge, but as I always say my dear late mother was right when she said ‘if they’re judging you they’re leaving some other poor bugger alone!’ I started to write because of my breakdown, I was sick of biting my tongue, I wanted to say what I wanted to say and, as with everything, I know that I have to step of the cliff and take that chance.

What does that have to do with having an adventure in France – everything – I have freedom now. I started to write this blog – which gave me the confidence to write my book, and in turn the confidence to serialise it in another blog; I started to read books that made you think outside of the box, to understand and believe that, much as we think we are, we are not doing the driving where our lives are concerned, and although it took a lot of lessons we are now seeing the benefits of that belief.

I would not have done any of this if we had not moved to France, stepped off the hamster wheel and see where life took us.

Who knows what is coming next – autumn……..

Moisy

If you want to read my other blog then it is called making this better @makingthisbetter.com But be warned, there is a possibility of tears and strong emotion.

Thank again

Moisy

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Times are changing – The Wedding Fayre – our little endeavour

26 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, My home, The adventures of living life in the French countryside, The continuing adventure

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Last week I was busy busy busy preparing items for out little enterprise of handmade products that we sell on out Etsy shop. We invested in a scroll saw for Rich so that he can get the cuts precision perfect and as a result I also came up with some new designs.

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I love them, and lovingly wrapped them and took them off to the wedding fayre on Sunday. Having finished reading Deepak chopra I was philosophical that if nothing came from it then it was life showing me the way, and that we would need to let this part of the enterprise go.

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I was pleased with the way the table looked and knew that our items looked good.

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The weather was not good (although as I write this we have lovely warm Autumn sunshine and temperatures of over twenty-four degrees.) in fact it was literally sheeting down with rain; but the French do like to get out on a Sunday afternoon and over eighty people came to the wedding fayre, and many showed an interest in our pretty little hearts.They appreciated Rich’s cutting of the wood more than anything (the boy done good) and knew that what he had accomplished was not easy; and they also picked up on the fact that many of the items would change colour as the day wore on and they loved it! It didn’t help that I had forgotten the word for the verb to make (faire) until the very end of the day, but I got by.

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More importantly I met some lovely people there, a lady who makes the most beautiful cakes, and who made me giggle throughout the afternoon; and a lovely lady who runs a shop in the town of Gorron where she stocks handmade products from artisans; I took it as a sign when she  came over and asked me if we would take some stock to her for her shop as she liked it and wanted to promote it for us. When I said how interested the French people had been she said that she had found that they seemed  to appreciate handmade products, and understand the amount of time and work that went in to them. So life did show me the way and I will be visiting her tomorrow, and Rich and I will branch out and make handmade Christmas decorations and angels in time for Christmas. (Although always remember an angel and a star are for life, not just for Christmas!)

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But, and there is a but…. Having read Deepak Chopra he says that we are all destined to do something, and you know what that ‘something’ is when time flies….

“When you’re doing that one thing, you lose track of time” 

Deepak Chopra – ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’ 

I know that really for me my love is writing, and time does just fly when I am writing. With nearly two thousand monthly hits, and counting, on my blog  it is just getting better and better. So I am going to give it one more try sending my book to agents; however if I am not successful I am going to turn it into a a blog – it needs to be out there, because I know it will help people. It went to board for consideration with two publishers so I knew I had something to say and from the blogs that I have read, and people I have spoken to, there is a need for it – I truly believe that.  As Deepak chopra says

“The third component of the Law of Dharma is service to humanity – to serve your fellow human beings and to ask yourself the questions. ‘How can I help’……

‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’

I would really value your opinion on this one folks shall I blog it?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Moisy

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Another gate opens, another ship sales from dock, and the crew is getting bigger all the time

14 Thursday Jun 2018

Posted by in Change is a coming, Friends, People, Reflections, The background story, The continuing adventure

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When I first started this blog, I chose the tag-line carefully….

I said in my intro to this blog that I was writing it for all the people who were wondering ‘What if?’ Or, like us, were thinking that there must be more to life than this – and not necessarily material things. who were thinking about making change, about people who were thinking about stepping off the path that we are all led to believe we should follow, and going off into the woods to see what life may hold.

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I have written about serendipity, one of my most favourite words, and something I believe in: A series of events that we were not looking for that add up to make something wonderful.

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I have written about our mini-bus of life, and asked who is on your mini-bus, how many people do you allow on your bus, give them a seat only for them to try and  influence you  to do what they think you should do, often because they want to feel safe in numbers, and need to know what they are doing is right?

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How often? When, in fact, you should not let them influence you at all. How many people have told you that your mad? That you need to keep doing what you are doing even if it is clearly killing you?

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I have had people contact me from all over the world to tell me that I have made them think. Not least when I share my experiences with regard to mental health (I am not going to call them issues, they are not issues they are just another part of the body that sometimes find’s it hard to work with all the shit we are bombarded with!!) Some of those people have made me cry, to know that my words have resonated with them. Some have made me smile when they start to make change.

I have made people laugh and I have made people cry, but most importantly for me I have inspired people. Not least our friend Karen:

I share her blog often, Dylan’s Welshie World. It is a blog about her puppy and her antics, but it is not just a blog about that, it is a blog about how that puppy has changed Karen’s life, how Karen has stepped off that cliff (or fell off! As she said the other day!) at a time when she needed the love that, sometimes, only a dog can bring.

You should read her story it is a young blog , but it will make you laugh out loud and make some others who have been on the hamster wheel for so long ask themselves if they need to make that change too. Karen has been brave, she had to overcome the worry of opening up to the world – but the response she had has been life affirming.

So I have inspired Karen, she has set up her blog after years as a high-flying editor she went back to writing, doubted herself because it had been so long,  until I convinced her and now her blog has become a hit and she is receiving high praise for her writing. – See, she just had to believe and have someone believe in her, of course she could write!! The things we come to believe!! Because we listen to that spin doctor in our head!

A series of events led Karen and I to being back in touch and closer than ever; sadly Karen’s dear mum died, her last remaining brother died a short time after, and, as death does, it started Karen on a path to looking at her life and the career that had defined her. Then a person who she had known for many years and got back in touch with showed that they were not the person that she thought they were all along, and left her at a time when her life was in upheaval. Just as that happened we got back in touch, I had sold a story to one of the Magazines that Karen edited, and, although we had seen each other over the years, I came back into her life at a time when she needed someone who would listen, had been through something similar, and would tell her the truth. In addition my husband makes her laugh all the time, and she needed that.

So Karen came over to see us, fell in love with our dogs (who couldn’t)….

 

Karen returned home with the firm intention of finding a Welsh Terrier puppy. They are hard to get, and there is normally an eighteen month waiting list, but serendipity clearly had a plan for Karen, and she rang a breeder who had just had a little girl puppy rejected because she had a kink in her tail. The breeder  liked Karen, liked the way she talked about the breed and just knew that, although others were waiting, Karen would love this Welshie with all her heart, and she does.

In the September Dyls came home to live with Karen, and the rest, as they say is history…

As Karen came over more and more and fell in love with the serenity of France, it made her think about her life again. No least watching Dylan run free around our garden like a mad thing helped her decide to come to France and spend the summer here and see where life takes her – she is starting to understand that she is not doing the driving!!

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So  today Karen packed up the car with the final bits and bobs, and she is now in France, with Dylan, and on her way to our house. On Saturday she collects the keys for her rental and she will be over here for at least two months, maybe more, who knows what we will find in our house hunt.

We have a new member of our family, two in fact, and she helps me in the same way as I help her. We are both straight talkers, and so alike, whoever is driving this bus knows what they are doing!! Not only that Karen loves my husband and his mix of madness, and vulnerability at times.

But it does not end there…. In August Jen, another old friend who we have all got close to again over the past year, is coming over for another adventure, travelling on her own, something she has not done for some time! Who knows where life will lead her; and then there is my other dear friend Mary, who has been inspired to sell her home in Herne Bay and go to pastures new in the countryside of England and take that chance. She says I have inspired her, and for that I am truly honored.

So over these last three years, I have read the Tao, learnt to let my ego go, to still be kind (even to arseholes! Oops!).

I have learnt to unlearn all that I had learnt – that material things are not important, and often make you unhappier, to not plan way in advance – you only have this moment that is all you are guaranteed; I have learnt to laugh in the face of adversity, to know that you can survive even when that spin doctor tells you that you can’t. Of course you can you wake up tomorrow and you are still alive! I know the people that count are sitting on my mini-bus and that all the others, whilst of course allowed to have an opinion, are not the ones whose opinions count where I am concerned.

I am thankful every day.

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I have read others stories as part of my book research, and my heart has broken all over again for those people, and I have learnt to just be me, and happy in my own skin.

But most importantly I have learnt that I can touch people with my words, from all over the world. Whilst it is an honor to be in the top twenty expat blogs in France, it is the people who I inspire who make me want to do more and more. For that I thank you all…..

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Moisy

Older and wiser (I hope!)

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Reflections, The continuing adventure

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Mayenne

The Mayenne River at twilight

So it is official I have now completed my 55th year on this earth; and because I know I am such a different person  I thought that I would take some time to look back on the last year and share with you the things that have caused me to change, and make my life so much better in so many ways.

The first decision I made was way back in January, it was to stop looking at the group social media pages for this immediate surrounding area! I found them so negative, nasty, viscous and controlling and I just decided that I didn’t need that shit in my life anymore.

Now I was going to say more but have decided that this topic probably needs a post all on it’s own so look out for that one; all I will say is that my life was infinitely better after I stopped engaging or looking at them.

I really started to understand the Tao, and now follow my life pretty much in that way – although I do have to constantly remind myself every day to not get caught up in unnecessary crap. Due to this I have been accused  of becoming a religious nut! Of having ‘found God’ when really, for me, the Tao is a philosophy not a religion: a theory or attitude that acts as a guiding principle for behaviour. That is what it has done for me it has helped me to follow principles for my behaviour and also where others are concerned it has enabled me to make choices about whether I want their behaviour in my life, or whether I am going to let it affect my life.

In fact folks if you read the Tao I would ask everyone what is God? For me it is just a label that can be used to define something, nothing more, nothing less.

Now, I don’t do negative in all aspects of my life – and when I find myself in the company of negative people I feel like I am  in the company Dementors (to borrow from the wonderful J.K Rowling)  sucking the life out of me.

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You must have been there, with someone who just moans and moans and everything that comes out of their mouth is negative; and eventually it is like having  your soul sucked out of you, you come away feeling so down and questioning everything you do and everything in life. This lesson really came to the fore for me in the summer when my darling husband really let a negative person get to him, he was in their company for some time and eventually he really did feel like hanging himself from a tree!! (I kid you not read my post a birthday wobble.)

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So after this I started to notice the negative people who were around us, people who only wanted to criticise, and when you actually listened to them not a good thing came out of their mouth – or sometimes it would when they realised that they had overstepped the mark. Too late for me I’m afraid. I step away now.

Negitity quote laugh at it

I mean lets us not forget, as I blogged earlier in the year,  I was actually told I was too positive!!! WTF!!!

So I distanced myself from the negative people and boy am I happier and in a better place now – good things are coming my way.

 

Tao quote on confrontation

 

As some of you may know (from my post a little bit more about me) I don’t do confrontation either. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t give people crap and I don’t put up with crap from them; the difference now is that I don’t get angry, I stay cool, calm and collected but I still say ‘no’ if I need to.

It has been interesting for me this year where this is concerned, because I have encountered people who knew what had happened to me, knew that I have the Incredible Hulk inside me, and it was as if they wanted to press my buttons to bring it out. They seemed to assume that because I did not lose my temper I was weak and a pushover.

tao and confrontation

Those who know me well, and probably some of you that read this blog, will giggle at that thought because it is so untrue. In addition they would not want the Incredible Hulk inside me to come out because then they would be hurt, and I would be tired for weeks, feel awful and may possibly have been arrested!

Luckily I am now able to step away, or calmly ask questions for clarification -which they don’t want to give because they would have to acknowledge they were arseholes – and that tends to sort the situation out.

negative people being insecure

 

I have learnt over the year not to ask others for explanations and not to offer  explanations to others. I don’t expect explanations and when people expect them of me I now ask them why? Ego perhaps!!

The reason for this is because when people expect and explanation from you is this because they seem to think that you should care what they think?

There are some people that I know and love and  I do care what they think. But those people never seem to ask me for explanations. By giving explanations you are allowing others to live your life for you, and that is, quite simply, not my thing honey! If you are not on my mini-bus of life then I offer no explanations.  (For those new to my blog you may want to read the post – so who is on your mini-bus of life.)

So I don’t care what most people think and that has worked out brilliantly for me as a writer because if I did I would write absolutely nothing!! As one of my beloved readers from this blog told me ‘It’s all copy!!’

That brings me to one of the other big things I learnt and that is to  write what I want. My book – people will be shocked I have shared!! My blog who wants to read about where I went in France all the time! It seems to have worked my followers are now near 300 and rising every day with well over fifty hits a day. Thank you and welcome keep the ball rolling.

I have learnt who the important people are in my life, and what is important to me where people are concerned. I have also learnt to look at myself and how I react to others, and to let the past go and deal with the relationship now. Everyone is different and I just go with the flow – unless you are insecure or negative, sorry but they are a no no for me I find that insecure people tend to bring others down and I don’t need that. I wish them well, hope that they find their way and if they do and they want to reconnect always happy to.

 

And one of the most important things: My mini bus has driven along the road and picked back up some good friends that I had lost contact with along the way in life- We have all learnt things during the time we have been absent from each others lives and we have come to realise that there are some people who you cannot let go of , because when they come back into your life they are on the same page as you – they just took a different route to get there; and I have found we are all infinitely wiser for the journeys we have had.

Not least in that is my son, who has found his way in life and is flying high because by taking this adventure we pushed him off the cliff and trusted that he would be caught; just like we have. You have to believe, trust me.

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So here is to the next year of my life, I feel already that it is going to be a good one – ever positive me!!!

If you like my blog please share folks I am loving the new people joining from all over the world.

Quote ona adventures and good energy

Moisy

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